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The Mentor Is the Program: Why Who You Are Matters More Than What You Teach
What if the most important part of mentoring isn't the curriculum, the activities, or even the words you say, but who you are?
In this episode of the You Can Mentor Podcast, Zach Garza and Derrick Sier unpack five reasons why the mentor matters more than the program. From showing up consistently and building trust to modeling Christlike character and creating a safe environment, we explore why kids need more than great content. They need caring adults who are willing to invest in their lives.
Whether you're a mentor or leading a mentoring organization, this episode is a reminder that you don't have to be perfect or have all the answers. You just have to be present, faithful, and willing to show up.
Learn more and find resources at youcanmentor.com.
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Want to go deeper?
• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
What do kids really need from a mentor?
In this episode, Zach sits down with Dr. Anthony Bradley to talk about fatherlessness, mentoring, and the kind of relationships that help kids grow into healthy adults.
Dr. Anthony Bradley has spent nearly three decades studying boys, fathers, families, and human flourishing. He’s written more than a dozen books, taught at the university level for decades, holds a PhD from Westminster Theological Seminary, and has been featured on CNN, Fox News, NPR, and C-SPAN. He is one of the leading Christian voices helping us understand what boys need from fathers, mentors, churches, and communities.
Dr. Bradley challenges the idea that mentoring is primarily about giving advice, teaching lessons, or correcting behavior. Kids need adults who show up, spend time with them, listen, and genuinely enjoy being around them. Great mentors become the people kids know they can turn to when life gets hard.
In this conversation:
Dr. Anthony Bradley also unpacks the devastating data on father absence—suicide, homelessness, dropout rates, violence—and why ordinary men showing up with presence can rewrite a child’s future. Through Bradley’s own story of mentoring a drug-selling teen named JJ over two decades (from Denny’s dinners to a transformed life as a husband, father, and leader), they reveal that mentoring isn’t about being Superman; it’s about consistent relationship, unconditional acceptance, and surrounding kids with a tribe of caring adults in the name of Jesus
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Dr. Anthony Bradley has a brand-new book coming out called The Fatherhood Effect. It takes a hard look at what happens to kids, families, churches, and communities when fathers are absent, disengaged, or disconnected from their children, and what we can actually do about it. Anthony brings together research on fatherlessness, attachment, warmth, and the incredible influence fathers have on their kids, along with practical ways we can help fathers become more present and connected. If you care about mentoring, fatherhood, or helping the next generation thrive, I think you’re going to want this one. The Fatherhood Effect releases November 17 and is available for preorder now on Amazon.
You can learn more about him below:
https://anthonybbradley.substack.com/
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Want to go deeper?
• Join our National Christian Mentoring Network
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Check out our annual Mentoring Leadership Summit + other mentoring events
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
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If you want to become a better mentor or build a stronger mentoring organization, check out the You Can Mentor book library. We’ve written resources on building trust, showing up consistently, understanding kids from hard places, partnering with families, sharing your faith, handling difficult situations, and leading with humility.
Books like:
These books were written to give mentors and mentoring leaders practical tools they can actually use. You can find all of our books and resources at You Can Mentor or find them on Amazon.
What if the hardest conversations you have with your mentee could actually become some of the most important moments in your relationship? In this episode of You Can Mentor, Zach and Derrick unpack the power of building trust, creating a safe environment, and earning the right to speak truth—even when that truth is difficult to hear. Discover how to have hard conversations with love, wisdom, courage, and the fruit of the Spirit while calling the people you mentor toward the person God created them to be.
Want to go deeper?
• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
Meredith Murray is a Christian nonprofit leader and host of the Empowered Life Podcast with Allies in Youth Development, an organization serving vulnerable children through mentoring around the world. With a background in education, ministry, community engagement, and supporting survivors of human trafficking, Meredith has spent her career walking alongside people and helping them recognize their God-given value and purpose.
Allies in Youth Development is a Christian nonprofit that equips local mentors around the world to provide vulnerable and orphaned children with consistent relationships, life skills, education, and spiritual support.
This episode centers on the idea that you don’t need the perfect story, experience, or answers to make a difference—you simply need to show up and be present. Zach and Meredith explore how God uses mentors to bring hope, healing, and transformation not only to vulnerable kids, but to mentors, families, and entire communities around the world. Plus, they go into great detail of the power of prayer in your mentoring org and mentoring relationship. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re qualified to mentor, this conversation will remind you that what God has placed in you may be exactly what someone else needs.
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Want to go deeper?
• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
How do you share Jesus with a child you're mentoring without forcing the conversation—or avoiding it altogether? In this honest and thought-provoking episode of You Can Mentor, Zach and Derrick explore the tension between building authentic relationships and boldly living out the Gospel, revealing why trust, consistency, and Christlike love often open doors that words alone never could. If you've ever wondered when faith should enter a mentoring relationship, this conversation will challenge, encourage, and equip you to mentor with wisdom and confidence.
Want to go deeper?
• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
What happens when a mentor says, “I was wrong”? In this honest and faith-filled conversation, Zach and Derrick unpack how humility, repentance, and authentic apologies can transform mentoring relationships, rebuild trust, and model the heart of Jesus to kids from hard places. If you’ve ever wondered whether admitting mistakes makes you weaker as a mentor, this episode will challenge you to see vulnerability as one of your greatest strengths. Make sure to follow Derrick @derrick.sier!
Want to go deeper?
• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
In this episode of You Can Mentor, Zach sits down with Derrick Sier to unpack how every moment with a mentee—big or small—can become a powerful teaching opportunity. Together, they explore how mentors can respond with humility, curiosity, and self-awareness when kids seem dismissive, helping them uncover meaning, growth, and even glimpses of Jesus in everyday situations. Through personal stories, practical wisdom, and honest conversation, this episode will challenge mentors to slow down, stay Spirit-led, and recognize that the moments that seem ordinary may shape a young person’s life forever. Make sure to check @derrick.sier out on all social media platforms!
Want to go deeper?
• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
In todays conversation with Derrick Sire is a powerful reminder that mentoring doesn’t just transform the mentee—it transforms the mentor. Through humor, honesty, and biblical wisdom, this episode unpacks how mentoring in the name of Jesus reveals our weaknesses, deepens our faith, strengthens community, and shapes us to look more like Christ. From learning humility to staying youthful through relationships with the next generation, this episode is packed with practical encouragement and heartfelt truth for anyone investing in kids from hard places.
Want to go deeper?
• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
On this episode of You Can Mentor, Zach and Stephen Murray unpack three powerful truths every mentor needs to hear when the journey gets hard: growth is slow, relationships are often uncomfortable, and opposition is inevitable. Through humor, honesty, and biblical wisdom, they challenge mentors to stay faithful when results aren’t immediate and remind them that consistency can change a life over time. If you’ve ever felt like giving up, this episode will renew your perspective and strengthen your resolve to keep showing up. Special Thanks to Stephen Murray for being todays guest on our podcast! Be sure to check out forerunnermentoring.com
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Want to go deeper?
• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
This episode of You Can Mentor tackles the real reasons people hesitate to step into mentoring—and boldly dismantles every excuse holding them back. Through honest conversation and practical wisdom, Zach and Derrick reveal that mentoring isn’t about being perfect, relatable, or “qualified,” but about showing up with consistency, love, and a willingness to grow. If you’ve ever felt unsure or unprepared, this episode will challenge you to see that God can use you right where you are—and that you truly can mentor.
Want to go deeper?
• Join our Learning Lab for mentoring resources and community
• Sign up for our newsletter to stay in the loop
• Come to our annual You Can Mentor Gathering
You can find everything at www.youcanmentor.com or follow us on instagram @youcanmentor
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