When we talk about loyalty, most of us think about relationships, family, or friendships. But there’s another kind of loyalty we don’t talk about enough — our loyalty to struggle.

As Black women, we’ve been taught that struggle is part of who we are. That staying in relationships, jobs, or communities that drain us somehow proves our strength. That choosing ease means we’re abandoning our people, our roots, or our role as the “strong one.”

Choosinng suppot is not about abandoning your people or being selfish. It’s about telling the truth: you don't owe struggle your loyalty and staying in struggle is costing you more than leaving ever will. 

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Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.