Do you feel like everything in your wife’s life comes before you?

On the surface, it all sounds reasonable.
She is busy.
She is tired.
She has kids, work, and responsibilities.

But inside, something feels off.

Because it is not just that she is busy.
It is that everything else gets priority over you.

Not once in a while.
Not only during hard seasons.
But as a pattern.

The message you feel is quiet but painful:
There is space for everyone and everything, except you.

This episode explains what is happening inside a dismissive-avoidant nervous system. It explains why dissociation becomes the default. It explains why kids, career, routines, and tasks become safe substitutes for intimacy. It also explains why this pattern slowly turns an anxious-preoccupied husband into someone who abandons himself just to stay connected.

Dismissive avoidance is not about strength or independence.
It is about disconnection.

Many dismissive-avoidant wives stay out of their bodies to stay safe. Feelings live in the body. Vulnerability lives there too. To avoid those states, the nervous system learns to stay busy, focused, productive, and needed.

This episode explains why good things like kids, work, fitness, and service often become tools of avoidance. These things offer purpose without vulnerability. They offer connection without emotional exposure. They keep intimacy at a distance while looking responsible and praised from the outside.

You will learn why children often become the safest place for attachment energy. Kids do not require emotional mutuality. They do not ask to see her inner world. That makes them feel safer than adult intimacy.

This episode also explains how the marriage slowly gets pushed to the margins. Kids come first. Work comes first. Schedules come first. Exhaustion comes first. The relationship comes last. When you try to name the loneliness, the conversation shuts down.

You will hear how this affects you as the husband. Your body reacts first. You feel tension, anxiety, and a sense of being unimportant. You start scanning for connection. You begin to feel alone while married.

This episode explains why your nervous system reacts so strongly. Anxious attachment reads distance as danger. Busyness feels like rejection. Deprioritization feels like abandonment. Your anxiety is not weakness. It is a response to disconnection.

You will also learn why trying harder makes things worse. You help more. You ask for less. You lower expectations. You erase yourself to keep peace. Over time, your self-abandonment becomes the cost of staying connected.

This episode explains the core mismatch. She regulates through distance and dissociation. You regulate through closeness and reassurance. When one moves away, the other moves closer. The cycle tightens unless something changes.

Most important, this episode gives clarity.
This was never about you being unimportant.
It was never about you failing.
It was never about you wanting too much.

If this episode connects with your experience and you want support, you can sign up for a free 30-minute consultation. This is just a conversation about what is happening in your marriage and how coaching might work for you. There is no sales pitch and no pressure. We simply see if it feels like a good fit and how I can help.

You are not broken for wanting to matter.
You did not lose yourself because you were needy.

You lost yourself because you tried to stay connected in a relationship that required your absence.

Awareness is the beginning.

If you struggle with life, marriage and relationships and are ready to thrive,check out the resources from Certified Professional Coach Bruce Abbott at https://SecureHusband.com.

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