Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Shots Fired!!!

If you're down in the 954 or the 305 and you see a half naked white dude singing and dancing shakin' that thang - don't worry, that's Rihanna.

The elephant in the room must be addressed - Peter Caine has called the MAIN MOMS out! Lord only knows what will happen next, but Peter Caine is on the watch list. Should he worry about Tina and Tommy? No. The little Mommy's? Probably. Theo? You Bet. You can't just talk s**t like that and not expect bad things to happen. 

As Theo has always said, "Don't start nuttin, won't be nuttin." 

Plus Tommy has returned from City Connection and he can't wait to go back. He's got that international jeans fever!

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Please don't talk, please don't touch my service dog! Don't talk to my dog, the dog is being good. You're getting the dog in trouble, you di@k! Maybe Peter Caine is right???

Tom's in Hong Kong aka "City Connection" right now. He had a real nice hair cut before he left and we talk about it. Christina admits to seeing the same hairdresser since 1998, but he's awesome so don't sweat it. 

Cops are still all fu$%in bald and s$it. We discuss nightmare jobs for us personally. Being nocturnal is horrible.

COPS is our new favorite show. It's fun to watch people who cook meth getting arrested. And you should always look at the positive aspects of your meth cooking spouse. Christina gets punished for using her BIG WORDS in the last episode...

Aunty Fee takes the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge. 

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When Tom picks the opening clips, it's usually porn. But this porn clip is "revolutionary" according to Tom. We deconstruct Nicki Minaj's "Anaconda". Both versions, fart and original. We also explore "the cowboy hip hop" and real "hip hop" dancing. The cargo pant debate rages on! We look forward to Tom's upcoming Asian dumps. Theo hears his latest song and comes on the show to discuss his royalty agreement. Wendy's has a neat corporate training song. 

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Whenever you see a microphone anywhere that is an opportunity. The possibility now exists that you can grab that mic and you can fart in it. This is how we even the playing field in life. A homeless man and a Greek billionaire suddenly become the same living being - a mic farter. 

King A** Ripper is an international treasure for a reason. He seizes the opportunities that others ignore. He never, EVER passes on the chance to drop heat for the rest of us. Thank you Hairy N Gross Glutton. You inspire us all. International super star Nicki Minaj got the hint (okay it wasn't her) and now has a real hit on her hands!

Plus Theo heard the song that all the Mommy's are talking about and, you guessed it, he wants his cut. Tina tries to reason with him, but there's no taking the hood out of this pooch. 

Tina is a big NERD and wears undies during a massage (MOMSSAGE). Are you the same type of NERD that she is? If you're a flight attendant please keep the jokes inside of your head. You're the WORST!

And finally Half Ounce drops some crazy Ya know what I'm talkin about, ya feel me, ya know what I mean? And Tina thinks he has some BIG WORDS too!

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Don't yank your snot in another seaman's towel! It's rude and disgusting and now we got two guys on Night Watch to make sure no one else does it, Master Seargent.

Little Doggy Jeans AKA Feefo AKA Theo Huxtable AKA The Hardest playa on the block ate tin foil. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that he is not a "Very smart person." He is, in fact, a dog. In this, The "Forgotten "Episode" we recap how our dog scared us and made us rush all over the city worried sick about our sick dog. We were so worried that we forgot to upload this ep in our mad rush to catch a flight.

Desperate salesmen are like friends - They're the WORST!!! 

Plus we talk about LEASE-A-CAR Acting Studios, Dental Updates and more. We'll never forget our Jeans behind again! 

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