Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

What hurts on you? Your what, your what, your what? That's nice, lady! As the Great Italian pornographer, Rocco says, "You must have both the passion and the chemistry and the focus and not know when the end is here for it to go with what is there." Understand?

Peter Caine is our new hero. Don't you dare threaten him and don't EVER leave your dog with a friend. Friends are the worst.

Bad songs are evidently existence in abundance. Thank you for filling our inbox with them. Is the Biggie/Beatles debate over? Nope! Who do you side with, Tina's super white/super lame explanation or Tom's hard and black and super real argument? 

Gross sexual kinks are fascinating. Do you have one? Please share. And, you know what I'm sayin, we want that GENUINE "Gnam sayin" Know what we're saying?

Bossa Nova forever!

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Body Talk, yo. What's your body say about you? Do you have towels? Partners? A LOT of time? Get your fitness on, God. 

Tina's not playin. She's doing Quadruplethons and she's sponsored by Chili and other premium fitness brands. 

We love working out in prison and prison movies too! Chopper and Bronson are doing it real big and with cool accents. 

More bad songs, DENTAL UPDATE, WYR and More!

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The battle continues! What's the worst song we've ever heard? YOU GET TO DECIDE. Could it be about Ames, Iowa? Maybe. West Saint Paul? Possibly. Chinese Food? Hey, what's happening here? Luckily for you, it's all terrible. 

Horses are NOT WELCOME in the Mommy Dome. Get your glue machine out of our faces. Smelly, demon dwellers. 

Vietnamese seems like a difficult language. Now try it with a gun to your head. We make it easy!!!

Plus we have to navigate how to say a very, um, difficult name to pronounce. 

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When you bark like a dog, you should BARK LIKE A REAL ENRAGED DOG. Thankfully, we have the man to show you how it's done. Ain't no woof woof over here, kid.

Your Jeans have spoken and confirmed what HALF of US already knew - Tommy is pretty close to being the MAIN MOMMY via the Biggie vs Bowie vs Beatles debate. 

But then again Tina hasn't stopped making brown for the last few days, so does the MAIN MOMMY CROWN belong on her???

We have more awful songs and examine a Tyler Perry, uh, movie - is that what they're called? It also has a song that could run alongside Summertime and Social. It's BAD meaning BAD. 

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DON'T RECORD ME, SON! Stay up, Staten Island. And yo, I heard your girl been giving that stuff out to all dem guys, yo!

Who would you rather have playing at your birthday party a leather boy or a B Boy? You're picking sides here, dawg. Tina is eating a lot of veggies and her toots are sending a clear message. Will she respond appropriately??? 

If you report the news, report it! Say the thing that the guy said. We're adults. We can handle it, jeans. 

There are songs galore here and an ALL NEW FILL HER UP that will have you seriously deliberating who to seal shut! Aren't you glad that SUMMERTIME IS HERE. It's the best, right?

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