Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

If you're a big dog how about you play with dogs your size, you stupid, selfish inconsiderate C**T. But if you're a dog you might not know where you are playing because DO DOGS EVEN HAVE BRAINS?!? We investigate. Loud, gay sex sounds and terrifying and hilarious. Since we didn't get you the SF Bonus ep, we give it to you here! Groan more! A big, BURNING Dental Update will have you smiling wide and this time we get TOP DOG and CHARO on ONE call. Can you believe your wiping luck?

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DISCHARGE! Brandt Tobler is back and, as always, filling your ears with tales of crime and debauchery - we love it! PNC Tuesday is goin down. THAT, combined with "There's No Such Thing As Wednesday" is really making us reconsider our favorite day of the week. How do you make someone pay? Tobler shares a secret that will bring you to tears and make you PAY UP. Dental Update? Yup. Rim Jobs? Of course. Brown Talk? You know this, man. BIKES!

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Some have had the never to criticise this show for being less than sophisticated. To those that have unflattering remarks about us we present to you Episode 141. The Mona Lisa, the Sistine Chapel, and now this very episode of Your Mom's House with all mentioned in the same breath. We examine the meaning of life, the purpose for which one exists and we might just have an answer to the question, "Is there a God?" Give this podcast a listen and you'll be pleased by what you hear. We also take more calls from our listeners about Love! Can you feel that? That's your jeans getting TIGHTER! 

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This episode will have your jeans in a super high twist! There's no berries like Sherry's berries. Imposters need not apply (Terry). We read your emails and discuss Tom's beard flakes. What reality shows are you watching? And a very special phone call with Top Dog that will have you looking at public restrooms in a whole new way. And we take your phone calls and give you love advice. 2 Mommies 1 Jeans.

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You gonna repsect the game, ho. You know what I'm sayin? Do you? No? Oh, well, it's kinda confusing. Luckily for you we have a guest that fits into our studio like a brand new custom pair of jeans. You may have seen her in I Love You, Man, Enlightened, or Drunk History and now she's all up in your ear buds, (She's also the last person that GG Allin slept with but her husband doesn't know so don't tell him) it's Sarah Burns! It's also show and tell time for the mommies as we play her some of our favorite recent clips. This includes some of the KING (you've been warned). There's also Tom or Black and more! You can go ahead and "favorite" this episode now - it's amazing. 

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You no speaky like you do before. Where you from? Ingrrand? It happens and it's real. Migraines can lead to Foreign Accent Syndrome. It'd be soooo much better if super square white guys woke up speaking like Antonio Cromartie. The mommies go back for more sushi and get the inside scoop on the family that shames them. The jeans talk about their weekends in Long Island and Austin, plus audio of a racist porn star, Dental Updates and more!

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There ain't no half-steppin' or half chargin nothing especially when your baby's daddy is in the house! The Full Charge, Matt Fulchiron is all up in the Dome. We catch up with our old comrade about bad music, loud crazy people on planes, and the wonder of pain that is having 2 or 3 in you. The NEW BIKES! shirt is here and we revisit the classic clip from Scared Straight. Plus the Top Dog call to end all calls??? It may never be topped and he admits to WIPING A CERTAIN WAY we didn't know about! Keep your jeans on and up for this one. 

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Oh my what a good time we have for you here. The Voice, Michael Schiavello superb sports broadcaster and all-around great guy became a world-wide phenom this week when his pronounciation of Danny Mainus' last name sounded more like My Anus and well, hilarity ensued - especially if you are like a 5th grader like we are. Luckily for us, Schiavello is our budy so Tommy gave him a call and got the EXCLUSIVE scoop! Plus Tommy and Tina share their love of Downton, arguing over becoming "dog-Sh*t" people, how Tina's dad handles dogs & problems, World Wrestling Nonsense and more!! This is one of those episodes that will have you wishing you had tighter jeans. 

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Before last Wednesday we honestly thought that Hilary Clinton was America's most polarizing figure, but we've learned that isn't the case. Perhaps no person has such a profoundly different affect on the American public than King A** Ripper AKA Gross Glutton Manners. The man who's farts can be heard around the world made some of you scream with laughter while other cried is complete disgust. We read your feedback as we prepare to do live shows in Texas. Learning isn't supposed to be fun. Stop being stupid, just learn like an adult. By reading. Books. Ladies, don't feel bad if your hangers flap around in the wind. Us guys still want whatever you got. Keep your chin and your jeans up. 

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Our philosophy has always been push as hard as you can until it hurts and then tell us about it - and you did! Your poop triggers are fascinating and unique. STOP THE PRESS - Stevie has been sighted in Nashville! This is HUGE news. Please, if you are in the Nashville area approach with caution and let Stevie know that the mommies are coming to town! You gotta take care of your FEETSIES. You're saying a lot if your toes are all mashed up and flakey. Hands too. I guess Tommy is freakin out man cause his fingers are ALL chewey! Ewwwwww. Plus a huge video reveal: IFartInYoFace is the King A** Ripper and we celebrate his gift with all of you. All others bow in his presence or face his wrath (from his butthole)! Get a whiff of that!

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