Your Other Family

We're back! Daniel joins Tom to recap this year's YOBBERS Retreat. As a newer member of YOB leadership, how did Daniel enjoy this retreat compared to others? We reflect on this distinction of leadership and participation with our retreat, including the challenge of not just serving a role or a function all weekend long. We also dive into our retreat's first-time art piece -- a locked birdcage with one sparrow inside and two sparrows outside -- and how this piece led to some interesting reflections from the YOBBERS. Finally, we introduce the YOB universe to our newest mascot and other brother who debuted at the retreat: Eunick.

Did you attend our YOBBERS Retreat this year? What did YOU see in the birdcage art piece?

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Dawson returns to help us close our At Home series! Tom takes the show on the road to Athens, Georgia, where he once lived for 11 years, to share an in-person conversation with Dawson, who has lived in this city for all 31 of his years. Why did Tom leave home all those years ago, and why has Dawson stayed? Has this same city been a consistent refuge for Dawson, or have there been some darker times, even times where he thought he might leave this only home he's ever known? Both Dawson and Tom live alone, and they share the joys of their homes serving as solitary refuges, as well as the dangers of falling into self-isolation. Finally, Dawson shares how "at home" he feels his his faith, sexuality, and masculinity, including the relational strides he's taken with his biological brothers and the relational challenges that remain with certain subsets of men.

Have you never left home? Why or why not? What's been joyous about never going or never going far, and what's been challenging?

• YOB ConvoCast 096

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• “Already Home” by Hills x Hills; 100% clearance through Musicbed.

Simon joins Tom to share their experiences of living alone for these last several years! Has it been an independent person's paradise, or have there also been emotional difficulties? How did the pandemic impact living alone? Simon also shares his experience of growing up with a twin brother, in addition to living previously with female friends, including the challenges of perception amongst any Christian onlookers. Will Simon and Tom live alone for the rest of their lives, or do they pine for a shared living space once again? Finally, Simon shares his experience from our recently held European YOBBERS retreat and how his first event with other men has factored into how "at home" he feels in his masculinity!

Do you live alone? What are the joys and challenges of living by yourself? Do you yearn for a shared living space, or does such a prospect cause you any pause?

• YOB ConvoCast 095

• Simon's first ConvoCast

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• “Already Home” by Hills x Hills; 100% clearance through Musicbed.

Ryan makes his podcast debut as our first native Canadian on the show! He shares his unique living situation, splitting time in the big city and also a small town living in a house with his younger brother. Both Ryan and his brother are single men in their forties -- Ryan, queer; his brother, straight. How did this living situation in a faraway town come to be? Ryan tells us the story about "taking the long way" one day, along with his initial visceral reaction to the notion of living with his little brother for the first time since their youth. Ryan also shares about formerly living with a boyfriend when he was affirming, and his journey beyond spiritual turmoil to telling his testimony for more people to hear!

Do you live, or would you consider living as an adult with your adult sibling? What would be hard, and what could be beautiful?

• YOB ConvoCast 094

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• “Already Home” by Hills x Hills; 100% clearance through Musicbed.

Newcomer to the podcast but not to our community, longtime member Matt shares about his life in a celibate partnership with another man. He talks about splitting time in two locations to be close to his parents as well as his partner, with whom he co-owns a house. He shares openly how there was never any sort of road map to this particular kind of "Side B" journey, connecting with some other celibate couples over time. Matt shares the joys of hospitality with his partner, as well as some of the challenges of celibate partnership -- namely, translating the essence of his relationship to certain audiences, including secular friends and the workplace. Matt also shares his journey of becoming Eastern Catholic, finding a home in his faith amid his celibate partnership.

Are you in a celibate partnership? What are the joys and challenges of your relationship as you follow Jesus through it? Are you drawn to the notion of celibate partnership, or do you have questions, even fears about entering such a relationship that honors God?

• YOB ConvoCast 093

• Matt's "Life on Side B" podcast about celibate partnership

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• “Already Home” by Hills x Hills; 100% clearance through Musicbed.

Nhat makes his debut appearance! We celebrate his 1-year YOBiversary as he tells us his “at home” story of being married to his wife of the last four years. He shares the challenges of merging his wife’s family dynamic and his own into one new family and home, as well as the joys of complimenting one another and yearning for a better home together. We also dive into Nhat’s childhood as a “PK” or pastor’s kid and how that has impacted his faith journey, including his coming out experience at 21. How did coming out affect his parents, particularly his father, in an Asian culture often marked by honor and shame?

Are you married? What have been the joys and challenges of merging two homes into one? How have you handled your sexuality and masculinity in this new home?

• YOB ConvoCast 092

• YOBcast 092: Second Adolescence

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• “Already Home” by Hills x Hills; 100% clearance through Musicbed.

Harrison returns to discuss his societally common but YOB-ly uncommon home life: a wife and three kids! He shares the joys of noise in his home, as well as the challenges of wondering whether he measures up as a dad. We learn about the farm where he grew up, including the literal closet that was once his refuge. Harrison shares vulnerably about his struggles to feel "at home" in his male body, also pointing out the beauty of Jesus' having a human body along with the Spirit's indwelling in physical bodies today. While having kids doesn’t complete a man, Harrison also shares how having children has helped him lean into more of his masculinity. Perhaps there are fatherly energies we all possess as men, even beyond having biological children?

Do you have children? What are the joys and challenges of raising kids as a man attracted to men? Where else do you tap into your "fatherly energy" as a man?

• YOB ConvoCast 091

• Harrison's first ConvoCast, discussing male friendship

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• “Already Home” by Hills x Hills; 100% clearance through Musicbed.

Daniel returns to discuss his life in SoCal, living with two straight men! Like Andrew, he also moved across America for a new start and a new home from the Midwest. He tells us Andrew's teased "pots and pans" story from our last episode, a snapshot of pursuing healthy communication and expectations with straight roommates. Daniel shares some of the joys of living with straight men, including the activities in which they partake with each other and all of Daniel's queer friends, as well as the challenges. What will happen if and when these straight men choose to marry women and move out? Is there still joy to be found in the seasonality of such a home life?

Have you lived with straight men? What's been joyous and difficult about sharing space with someone whose sexuality differs from yours? Have expectations been hard to communicate or meet?

• YOB ConvoCast 090

• Andrew's ConvoCast about moving across America to live in SoCal

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• “Already Home” by Hills x Hills; 100% clearance through Musicbed.

Andrew returns to tell the tale of his cross-country move from Ohio to Southern California! What led him to leave the only home he’d ever known to find a new one? He shares about his upbringing in the Midwest, including many years of homeschooling, and a friend who prompted him to ponder the possibility of a new start. Andrew basks in the literal and existential sunshine of his new life in SoCal, talking about his new queer community and an accepting church that makes him feel at home in his faith and sexuality. But what of his masculinity? Where does and doesn't he feel quite "at home" in that arena?

Have you made a big move for a new start? Do you perhaps want to make such a move but feel incapable, and what's holding you back? Where have you experienced found family or chosen family beyond your biological family? Where do you or don't you feel at home in your masculinity?

• YOB ConvoCast 089

• Andrew's first ConvoCast, discussing Heartstopper and asexuality

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• Call the YOBline: 1.706.389.8009

• Pledge and join our Patreon community!

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• “Already Home” by Hills x Hills; 100% clearance through Musicbed.