Many times, I have someone telling me what their spouse should be.  How they should act, what they should do… and what they should do, particularly, for the spouse.  Rarely are they telling me what a spouse is, but should be.

There is an immediate problem (or a few) right there.  You see, “should” is based in shame and expectation.  And we don’t use it when someone is doing what we want.  It is when they are not.

As I have discussed in other episodes, expectations almost always end badly.  It is a dead-end street that does nothing useful for any relationship.  But especially a marriage!

I often watch couples (or one spouse) struggle with wanting things a spouse cannot give.  And when that happens, it slowly moves a marriage to hurt, resentment, disappointment, and even disdain.

All because of an expectation that can’t be met.

In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I look at 5 things a spouse is NOT (and cannot be).  Then, we spend some time discussing what a spouse CAN be (once you get past the disconnection and hurt).

Listen below.

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