.

Table Of Nonsense: 

Intro- Ocean’s 12

6:12-   “What color are your nails?” - The creepy sexual nail guy that harasses all of John’s female employees

11:00- Prank phone call - John pretends to be the creepy sexual nail guy

13:20- Christopher’s take on Long Distance relationships.

19:00- Chris’s favorite concept: The 5 Love Languages: Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts & Acts of Service

21:50 - We digress & bumble about pet names in relationships, Chris’s grandma, fishes & cats.

32:00- We FINALLY get back on track and talk about the FU*#&NG LOVE LANGUAGES

45:00-   A real life Love Language application

47:55 - John’s take on a long distance relationship

52:20 – SONG: Native Daydream “Dream Seller”

Table of Nonsense: 

Intro:   Shawn of the Dead

1:30 - Chris’s fear of zombies and Haiti

6:00 - Bilingual brain appreciation

8:00 - “Alexa, play the program Two Bumbling Idiots”

9:20 - Airdrop Assaulting on the express bus scores a new fan

10:40 - Ultimate podcast promotion: die on the episode via jungle juice

11:30 - John saves a pooch.

14:20 - Christopher’s Tinder fail…

15:40 - John’s Plenty of fish bladder adventure

19:20 – Christopher’s Tinder fail continued..

23:40 - Chris accidently tells a brand new co-worker how many women he’s slept with

29:55 - Impatient Nicholas and his haphazard insults

32:20 – Chris’s super gay shirt that he bought because he honestly thought it would make him appear less gay.

34:10 -   Putting @shadi0512 on blast. John’s girlfriend got an unsolicited dick pic so now we want everyone to dick bomb this guy on Instagram: @shadi0512

39:15 - The difference between men and women. Men have two brains and one of them is really fucking stupid.

45:00 - Chris the heart breaker

54:00 - Who the hell claps when a plane lands. What are we at a fucking broadway show?

54:30 – Superman’s biggest guido fan

56:30 - The ONE time Chris actually reprimands someone and it blows up in his face.

Table Of Nonsense:

Intro: Jurassic World

4:25-   Chris’s completely unimaginable Connecticut Highway Fiasco (circa 2008)

12:00- John’s recollection of Chris’s terrible parking job.

14:50- John’s existential speech on the journey of life

24:00- John might rap battle some teenager he works with

24:30- Apple develops walkie talkie feature on the apple watch and john ejaculates everywhere

26:20 - John’s cat folly.   Bodily fluids are involved.

30:00 - Discussion of “The Arm Pit” (the body part)

32:15- Chris wants to know what “Goldbond” is and why men use it on their balls.

39:00 – John has a message for the stupid kids at his starbucks

44:14 - Chris has to play pokemon go on 7 phones at once tomorrow.

Table of Nonsense:

Intro: Anchor Man

1:30-   Chris wants to know just how long he’s gonna have to wait for these “slow cooked” beef short ribs

3:00-   Christopher’s haphazard salmon consumption

5:00 - The unintended consequences of shaving your ass (unanswered)

9:15 - John’s highschool pubic haircut

12:00- Christopher’s haphazard ass shaving tools

14:00- Christopher’s bizarre face shaving practices

16:00-   Education on how not to destroy your plumbing

17:35 – The pros of shaving your ass

18:45 - The unintended consequences of shaving your ass (finally answered)

20:45 - A fresh ass shave feels just as good as getting the braces off your teeth for the first time

23:00- The etiquette of splitting a restaurant bill

25:30 - Ron Burgundy’s massive erection

31:50 - Gun to your head scenario…

34:31 - Chris is in love with the COCO

35:50 - Bastard starbucks kids with their stupid jewels

39:00 – Chris almost looses his $1000 AKG earbuds

39:35- The annoying Israeli sales girls at the SI mall

43:00 - Mother’s Day

47:00 - Jenson’s near death meat suffocation

Table of Nonsense:

Our guests this week: Ana, Melissa, Lauren

0:00- Sexy ASMR Chris Boner

2:00 – Chris literally jumps someone’s bones

4:00 – tummies, thighbrows and stomach rolls

6:00 – John’s services are requested

8:55 - Melissa’s first time

9:40 - Ana gets rejected

14:45 – Lauren dates a zombie

17:45 - John’s tinder fail & wildwood fail

21:40 – What’s something your partner does that drives you crazy

25:00 – Ana fucks so hard she broke her bed

26:25 - What drives John crazy in a relationship

29:00 - What drives Chris crazy in a relationship

34:30 - What is attractive to women

37:30 - What is attractive to Chris

39:20 - What is attractive to John

40:20 - The art of entertaining dick pics

43:40 - Dick & Clit piercings

45:45 - Length, Girth, or Motion in the ocean

48:20 - Chris needs a deep vagina

51:00 - John and his circus vaginas

52:25 – Faking orgasms

57:00 - Female Review of Disgusting Porn