This week was hard. It was a wake-up call for me. I was told that several people had been asking why I hated my job. I was dumbfounded. Hate my job? I love my job. I so appreciate the opportunities I get to try to inspire and teach others. In fact, it aligns directly with my purpose to help others discover and pursue THEIR purpose. However, I’ve probably been too transparent about my ambitions. I have goals and plans to multiply my influence and inspiring on a larger platform. And after hearing that hard truth that people think I am unhappy in the now, it made me realize two things.

First of all, not everyone in your circle is in your corner. If someone really has concerns about you, why would they talk to someone else without talking to you? Brene’ Brown talks about how the person who puts themselves in the arena shouldn’t concern themselves with the critics in the stands.

I get that. I do. But secondly, I also understand that I have a role in this, too. There’s a fine line between being transparent for the sake of trying to inspire someone and the flip side of coming across like you are disrespecting your current place in life.

I just got Kobe Bryant’s book, the Mamba Mentality, in the mail yesterday. I am looking forward to reading it, but Kobe is arguably one of the best examples of extracting every ounce of ability out of life through a borderline maniacal work ethic and commitment to excellence. But when Kobe was in high school at Lower Merion with dreams of NBA stardom, did people think he hated his high school? Did critics question his drive to reach the top? I doubt it.

My goals and my aspirations are to become the absolute best version of myself that I can. I’m working on a new degree. I am being mentored by people I respect and trust. I am mentoring others who also aspire to become THEIR best. I am doing my absolute best to be healthy and fit, productive, and impactful in my world. That’s the message I’d hoped the example of my life was SENDING out into the world.

And yet somehow apparently the message that was received was that I hated my job.

I missed the mark.

This show is my latest attempt at podcasting, but it’s not my first. That would be Better Every Week, a show my daughter Brynnan and I launched during her freshman year of college. I loved it, but it was hard for us to keep to a schedule. We ended up recording and producing just four episodes. I thought it would be fun to go back and perhaps re-release or repurpose some of the content here on my show now. And wouldn’t you know it: the first episode, we talked about how off-putting my drive and ambition has been even to my own family.

That said, I hope you’ll enjoy this look back to a show my daughter Brynnan and I recorded during the first semester of her freshman year of college when she was at the University of Oklahoma.

And I am also happy to say that she and her friends are working on a new show of their own, hopefully launching soon. So while Better Every Week was a well-intentioned but fairly short-lived effort, we don’t view it as a failure. It was simply a step on the path toward success. 

I hope you’ll enjoy episode 36: TOXIC MOTIVATION

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Becoming UnDone® is a NiTROHype Creative production. Written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. If you or someone you know has a story of resilience and victory to share for Becoming Undone, contact me at undonepodcast.com. Follow the show on Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn at becomingundonepod and follow me at TobyBrooksPhD. Listen, subscribe, and leave us a review Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.