Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1209 - Bedtime Battles: When Your Kids Won't Stay in Their Own Beds


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Getting enough sleep is the number one parenting hack, but what happens when your children won't cooperate? Historically, humans slept in groups, which explains why your child resists sleeping alone. Breaking free from bedtime battles requires giving children a voice in their routine, changing your perspective on this fleeting season, and doing whatever it takes to ensure everyone gets some rest—even if that means musical beds at 2 a.m.

Key Points:

  • Force creates resistance—the more you try to control bedtime, the more children push back.
  • Giving children a voice through family meetings or one-on-one discussions about bedtime helps them buy into routines.
  • Humans historically slept in groups—our desire for children to sleep independently is relatively recent.
  • Changing your perspective to see this as a season that will pass can help reduce frustration.
  • Sometimes the practical solution is simply "do what it takes"—even if that means musical beds at 2 a.m.
  • Dental hygiene matters—parents should help children brush teeth until about age 8.
  • Electric toothbrushes with timers can make tooth brushing more engaging for children.
  • Having the dentist explain the importance of oral hygiene can remove parents from being the sole authority.
  • What feels like an eternal struggle will eventually pass and may even be missed someday.
  • You can give children more autonomy in some areas while maintaining boundaries in others (like dental care).

 

Resources Mentioned:

  • Happy Families website
  • Electric toothbrushes with timers

 

Action Steps for Parents:

  1. Have a one-on-one conversation with each child about their ideal bedtime routine, giving them a voice while maintaining reasonable boundaries.
  2. Change your perspective—recognize this difficult season is temporary and years from now you might miss these cuddles.
  3. Do what it takes to ensure everyone gets sleep, even if that means unorthodox arrangements temporarily.
  4. For dental hygiene, use engaging tools like electric toothbrushes and enlist the dentist as an authority figure.

Submit your own parenting questions at happyfamilies.com.au or email [email protected].



See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Dr Justin Coulson's Happy FamiliesBy Dr Justin Coulson

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