Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

#1232 - 71% of Household Mental Load Falls to Mums - Here's Why (R)


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The mental load in families isn't just about remembering school events or planning meals - it's an invisible, boundaryless, and enduring form of labour that impacts relationships, careers, and wellbeing. Join Professor Leah Ruppanner from the University of Melbourne as she unpacks groundbreaking research on how mental load affects modern families, why it's not just about task-sharing, and what couples can do to create more balance.

Quote of the Episode: "The mental load is the emotional thinking work that we do to keep our households functioning."

Key Insights:

  • Women carry 71% of household mental load tasks.
  • Mental load is invisible, boundary-less, and enduring.
  • Both partners often duplicate mental load without realising.
  • Schools generate nearly 3,000 WhatsApp messages per child annually.
  • Men in equitable relationships report better health, sleep, and life satisfaction.
  • Single parents (both mums and dads) share similar mental load levels.
  • Work structures and social norms make it difficult for men to step into care roles.
  • Mental load cannot be eliminated but can be better understood and managed.

Resources Mentioned:

  • Fair Play cards system
  • Goldie app for managing school communications
  • University of Melbourne research
  • Misperceived podcast
  • Professor Leah Ruppanner (@ProfLeah on Instagram)

Action Steps for Parents:

  1. Start conversations about mental load without blame or past baggage.
  2. Consider how technology (like AI assistants) might help manage communications.
  3. Acknowledge both partners' different but equally valid mental burdens.
  4. Practice accepting help and taking breaks without guilt.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Dr Justin Coulson's Happy FamiliesBy Dr Justin Coulson

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