Is it ADHD… or something else entirely? This episode dives into one of the most debated topics in parenting and child psychology. Dr Justin Coulson answers a heartfelt question from a concerned parent: Should I pursue a formal ADHD diagnosis for my child — or are there better first steps to take? If you're feeling overwhelmed by symptoms, advice, and conflicting opinions, this conversation will help you slow down, zoom out, and see your child through a compassionate, research-informed lens.

KEY POINTS:

• ADHD diagnosis rates are rising — but is it always the right label?
• Some children may be diagnosed for what is actually normal developmental variation or environmental mismatch.
• ADHD-like symptoms may be a child’s way of trying to meet three unmet psychological needs:
• Connection (relatedness)
• Capability (competence)
• Control (autonomy)
• Neuroinflammation is an emerging and overlooked factor in ADHD symptoms.
• Developmental readiness matters — an 8-year-old’s brain is still undergoing major executive function development.
• Rather than trying to eliminate stress, parents can help children build capacity to handle challenge (a growth mindset).
• Medication might help some, but it’s not the first (or only) answer.
• Diagnosis should be thoughtful, multi-faceted, and whole-child focused.

QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:

"Difference doesn't mean disorder. Development is not a race." – Dr Justin Coulson

RESOURCES MENTIONED:

• The Parenting Revolution by Dr Justin Coulson
• Happy Families – for more articles, podcast episodes, and parenting resources
• Self-Determination Theory & Growth Mindset research
• Parenting ADHD [The Course]

ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS:

1. Delay formal diagnosis (unless impairment is severe) and give time for development.
2. Audit the environment for connection, competence, and autonomy — is it need-thwarting or need-supportive?
3. Support physical health:
• Prioritise sleep, unprocessed foods, and movement.
• Explore reducing neuroinflammation through lifestyle.
4. Teach a growth mindset: Use the word “yet”, encourage effort, and model learning through challenges.
5. Reframe behaviours:
• Daydreaming may signal creativity, not dysfunction.
• Risk-taking may show courage and capability-seeking.
• Task resistance may be about autonomy, not defiance.
6. If pursuing assessment, choose a clinician who understands development, context, and the whole child — not just a checklist.

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