As someone who gets flustered and frustrated during confrontations, I tend to use humor as my first line of defense, which can be a powerful tool to disarm without escalating. But when people double down, I get flustered, especially when dealing with bad-faith arguments or deeply entrenched beliefs. I am focused on learning when to escalate, confront, engage, or disengage, and it has completely changed my perspective on what makes a "successful conflict".

Not every battle needs fighting. Ask: Is this person open to dialogue, or just looking to provoke? Will bystanders benefit from your response, even if the bigot won’t? Is your energy better spent elsewhere?

If they’re just trolling, sometimes the best response is disengagement. Read the room and react accordingly.

Further Reading: https://www.beyondintractability.org/essay/escalation

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