Nature is indifferent to my interpretations of morality and justice. 

We humans tend to moralize everything, but not everything has a moral. Every ending doesn’t have to feel like a punishment for bad behavior. This means that some of the most painful things that have happened to you had absolutely nothing to do with your character. You didn’t make mistakes and fail and deserve some painful outcome. 

There is power in grieving when unfair things happen to you, but there is no use in blaming yourself or asking yourself what you could have done differently beyond acquiring some wisdom for the future. If I find myself taking things extra personally, I try to remind myself that the universe doesn’t work like that. Existence is confusing and chaotic and strange and unpredictable. 

When something bad happens it can be really easy to wonder why it happened. What we did to deserve it? Why everyone else seems to have it better and we are the target of such a painful reality?

Nature doesn’t work in just or kind or loving ways. It happens because of countless factors coming together in a moment of chance. Some consider this luck, but I don’t think of luck as something some people have or don’t. Sometimes, the wrong place at the wrong time is enough to explain the why, and there is no grand moral story at the end. 

THE SOURCES:

1. https://blog.dharma-renaissance.org/philosophy/how-to-face-suffering-and-moral-crisis-through-dharma/
2. https://timeslife.com/life-hacks/why-do-good-people-suffer-bhagavad-gita-insights/articleshow/118564088.html

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You don't know what you don't know, but the curse is that you think you do.

If we make a good choice that works out badly, we are often very harsh on ourselves for making that decision in the first place, even though the results are only obvious after the fact, we will still blame ourselves for not knowing the future. 

The hindsight bias pushes us to avoid risks, but it also brings undeserved rewards to irresponsible risk takers. 

We are all trying to see the world as a tidy, predictable, and coherent place, when it isn’t. Unfortunately, you can’t predict or control the future, no matter how lucky you are. 

THE SOURCES:

Daniel Kahneman's Thinking Fast and Slow

https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Exploring_Worldviews

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Where might your current worldview be holding you back from the truth?

THE SOURCES:

https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Evaluating_Evidence

https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Virtues/Humility/Being_99.9%25_Ignorant

https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Exploring_Worldviews

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

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We shouldn't be seeking focus, we should be seeking reverence. Depth and fulfillment comes from awe.

Our culture is obsessed with optimization, but that only disconnects us from our humanity.

Focus keeps us. Reverence stops us in our tracks.

Awe makes us more generous, loving, connected, patient, and abundant.

Create space for awe by staying present and avoiding avoidance.

SOURCES:

1. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/awe-the-most-incredible-emotion-and-its-spectacular-effects/
2. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_do_we_feel_awe
3. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-the-right-words/202407/why-we-need-awe-and-8-ways-to-find-it
4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-behavior-behavioral-emotions/202608/awe-is-an-amazing-emotion-but-do-we-know-what-it
5. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-circle-of-compassion/202608/the-opposite-of-distraction-is-not-focus-its-reverence

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Our brains are future oriented and this can manifest into anxiety or anticipation if we're not strategic with it.

Obviously, our current society has a lot of us focused on survival, which means most of our future thinking is filled with dread and hopelessness. This means we MUST deliberately create anticipation through planning small things that we can look forward to.

Looking forward to something good releases feel-good hormones in our brains AND teaches our nervous systems that there is some good to be had and felt. It trains us to be more hopeful and nurtures an upward spiral, as opposed to the constant downward spiral most of us feel so stuck in.

Planning a vacation is sometimes the only time you imagine yourself having a good, relaxed time, detached from work and everyday stressors, but you can imagine this without the vacation, and still reap the benefits.

SOURCE:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/202607/the-art-of-anticipation

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Hindsight is 20/20, but understanding the person you used to be (without the knowledge you have now) is so damn hard. Give yourself some grace in the learning process. You're not stupid, you're learning.

SOURCES:

1. https://youtu.be/2y5NfYwoTeo?si=vyyHCtptsSH7zpcj
2. https://verybigbrain.com/psychology-thinking/the-curse-of-knowledge-why-experts-struggle-to-explain-simple-things/
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curse_of_knowledge

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

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The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

THE SOURCES:

1. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/202608/why-people-disappoint-us-in-relationships
2. https://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definition
3. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_mise
4. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetlight_effect

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

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The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

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THE SOURCES:

https://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definition/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_miser

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Streetlight_effect

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM AND YOUTUBE or TIKTOK.

Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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the human brain doesn't prefer to expend extra cognitive effort, it will always take a shortcut, where possible. the less you analyze this reality, the more likely you are to fall into "cognitive laziness" which can reinforce stereotypes and keep us trapped in limiting world views.

THE SOURCES:

https://psychology-spot.com/cognitive-miser-definition/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_miser

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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Forgiveness is not an all-or-nothing process. You can partially release by choosing to stop ruminating, and even if you don’t feel entirely at peace yet, it is important to recognize that you have made meaningful progress. Every step you take away from feeling resentment is a step toward your sense of freedom. - Kinga Mnich, PhD 

THE SOURCE:

1. https://positivepsychology.com/neuroscience-of-forgiveness/
2. https://www.neurologylive.com/view/neurobiology-forgiveness
3. https://www.simplypsychology.com/articles/forgiveness-psychology-science

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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Info on War Tax Resistance.

Donate to the Palestinian Children's Relief Fund and the Sudan Relief Fund

The opinions expressed by Julie Merica and Make Your Damn Bed Podcast are intended for entertainment purposes only. Make Your Damn Bed podcast is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. 

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.