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The moment betrayal rocks your world, everything familiar seems to vanish. But what if the greatest confusion isn't about what happened, but about who you truly are? 

Deep down, many of us have mistakenly fused our identity with our roles. We believe being a good spouse, dedicated parent, or successful professional defines our worth. When betrayal shatters these roles, we feel like we've lost ourselves completely.

Think of a $100 bill that's been crumpled, torn, and passed around the world. Despite its condition, it's still worth exactly $100. Similarly, your inherent value remains unchanged regardless of betrayal or divorce. Your identity—who you are at your core—is distinct from your roles—what you do in life.

Society trains us to focus on performance over presence. We praise children for achievements rather than character, and adults for titles rather than qualities. This conditioning creates a dangerous belief: if we perfect our roles, we'll never be abandoned. Betrayal exposes this illusion, leaving us wondering who we are without our familiar labels.

Healing begins by separating your "I am" from your "I do." Ask yourself: Who am I without my roles? What qualities define me that have nothing to do with relationship status? What remains true about me regardless of circumstances? Your answers reveal your authentic identity—the foundation for rebuilding after betrayal.

This perspective shift not only heals past wounds but protects your future. When considering new relationships, look beyond impressive roles to core values and identity. Remember that resilience, compassion, and courage can be cultivated through practice, allowing you to not just survive betrayal but emerge stronger, wiser, and more authentically yourself.

Ready to distinguish between who you are and what you do? Join me on this journey to reclaim your identity and create your happily even after. Subscribe, share, and let me know how this distinction has impacted your healing journey.

Please follow me on instagram and facebook @happilyevenaftercoach and if you want to see what coaching is all about I offer a free 45 min. clarity call via zoom.

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My website is www.lifecoachjen.com