2 Guys And A Chainsaw - A Horror Movie Review Podcast

We’re back with week two of our Christmas extravaganza, and this time we’re diving into the hilariously campy horror sequel, ‘Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2.’

After years of resistance, we’re finally giving this fan-requested movie the attention it deserves. Join us as we dissect the recycled footage from the first movie, Ricky’s over-the-top performance, and the film’s unexpected (and often ridiculous) comedic elements. We debate whether this film is so bad it’s good and consider the legacy of this infamous holiday slasher. Tune in for laughs, critical takes, and some surprising revelations about our feelings towards this cult classic. Don’t forget to share your thoughts and recommendations for other holiday horrors!

Episode 468, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Well, we are in week two of our Christmas extravaganza and uh, I thought we would go for week two to go for a sequel number two, and we are doing Silent Night. Deadly Night Two, A movie. I know you have been resisting for years.

Mm-hmm. But fortunately for us, several people have requested over the years, and so I figured we might as well get around to it. And now is the time. Why have you been resisting this for years? Because it’s terrible. I, 

Craig: I mean, we see a lot of terrible stuff. I know, but I’ve seen it before and like, ugh.

Don’t wanna, don’t wanna sit through that again. Don’t again. And I get it. I, you know, it’s, it’s campy and people have fun with it, and I get it. It is campy and fun. I think the thing that irritates me the most, and obviously we’ll talk about this in more depth, but what irritates me the most is you have to sit through the whole first movie first.

And Yeah, and that’s fine. I, I mean, I actually. Enjoy the first movie for what it is, but you put on a new movie and they’re like, oh, okay. All right. They’re, they’re gonna catch us up to what happened in the first movie. And that usually happens in, you know, 10 minutes. Two to three minutes, maybe 10 minutes.

Yeah. If it’s long, maybe 10. Mm-hmm. This, they basically. You just watch the whole first movie again, just narrated by the protagonist of this movie. So, so there’s an, there’s, there’s a voiceover narration, but you’re just watching to be fair, the best parts of the first movie again. So, yeah, I guess you could go a couple of ways.

You could skip part two altogether, or you could just watch part two. Because you’re getting the best of the first movie Anyway. That’s good. That’s a good point. Yeah. Anything that you don’t get from the first movie in that recap, the first half, literally the first half of the second movie is all recap.

Anything that you don’t get from the first movie in that recap isn’t worth seeing anyway. So I mean, I guess at least it has that going for it. 

Todd: I mean, you get the best scenes from the first movie, but I, I don’t know. I kind of watching this again while watching and basically watching the first movie again by watching the sequel, which of which, half of it is the first movie being recapped?

I don’t know. Like it reminded me how much I really enjoyed the first movie, and I remember when we did that years ago, we came into it. Remembering it was a snooze fest, and then when we watched it, we were like, oh my God, this is actually kind of good and entertaining and had some sympathy for the main character, Billy or whatever, you know, who sees the trauma as a kid and then grows up and is traumatized to dress as Santa and then like punish people Because of that, I mean, watching, it reminded me how much I really enjoyed the first movie and I think.

Although these are like the best scenes from the first movie, I think the first movie deserves a full watch fair. You know, it cuts out some of the quieter moments that I think give you some impact and really build up the Billy character to this point where you really sympathize with them. Eh, 

Craig: I think the only thing that you’re really missing out on are the grandpa scenes.

And obviously, yeah, obviously Ricky, the kid in this movie who is Billy’s younger brother who is in the first movie, like, yeah, barely in the opening, the inciting incident when Billy sees his parents murdered and assaulted by. A guy in a Santa Claus suit. Ricky is there, but he’s an infant. Yeah. But he remembers 

Todd: Ricky as an infant, remembers an awful lot, particularly from the perspective of Billy.

But he, but I mean, he was in the car the whole time, but Right. I mean, still gets flashbacks to his mom’s chest being, you know, exposed by Santa Claus by the front of the car. 

Craig: You’re right. Which there’s no way that he could have seen. Even as an infant in the backseat of the car. Well, there is a lot. I know.

I mean, I’m picking nis. What I was getting at was the only, the only thing from the first movie that I missed were the grandpa scenes, but Ricky wouldn’t have been there to see those, so Fair enough. 

Todd: I don’t know. I kind of thought the first movie did a really nice job. I thought the actor who played Billy in the first movie was really.

Pretty good. I liked seeing his breakdown and seeing, and there was some cool stuff, and again, you see it in this too, in the clips, but there’s actually some interesting cinematography and editing going on there. I mean, it was kind of a fun movie. This movie is far camper and silly. When we get to the second half, I would almost say skip the first half and just jump to the second half, the first half, and then you only, you know, have 20 minutes to watch or so, and, and it’s kind of fun.

It’s fun in the way that. A really hilariously goofy over the top campy bad movie is, I couldn’t tell you the 

Craig: last time I saw this. I, I saw it when I was a kid and I’m, I, I apologize for jumping all over the place, but I just keep thinking about other things, like the whole plan for this movie, basically, as I understand it, was to profit off of the name through.

Rental. Yeah, and it worked. Like I read, you know, WA finally watching it again, I was still irritated with the stuff in the beginning and even in the beginning stuff. The main actor is nutty in this, and we’ll talk about that, I’m sure. But I don’t know, in that whole first 45 minutes, there’s maybe. Three or four minutes of stuff that’s worth seeing.

You could probably find a compilation on YouTube, but when it does get to the second half, I was like, oh yeah, this is fun. I mean, it’s, it’s all cramped into like 30 ish minutes. Once you really get going, but once it does get going, it’s fun. It’s, you know, the, the killer is unhinged. It’s just silly violence.

There’s, like you said, campy stuff going on all around. That last part is amusing. I, I, I would never go so far. To say good, but Oh God, no. Amusing in the, it’s so bad. It’s good. But it, it also, and I, I, I really think it is, it feels very self-aware. Yeah. It seems like they know what they’re doing, you know? It doesn’t seem like they’re trying to be serious.

It’s over. It’s intentionally over the top. 

Todd: Well, years later, the actor who played the main character here, and his name is, uh. Eric Freeman, who by the way, I thought that I had seen him in other stuff. He just has a very familiar looking face. He’s bulky as heck. But no, like I looked at his credits and he’s got almost nothing.

Just he looks like the, uh, the boyfriend from Teen Witch. That’s what he looks like to me. Maybe that’s it. I don’t know. He’s just got this very, and we’re up in his face a lot. We are in his face a lot. Yeah. He said that this was just a, a simple paycheck for him. He was not in it, it was like 1400 bucks for a handful of days of shooting, and he was getting conflicting messages from.

The director and the two writers. The director is one of the writers. They’re like four people credited with the story. And then two main writers on here. Interestingly enough, the producers originally hired the director who’d never directed anything before, but he was an editor, Lee Harry, to uh, just edit the first movie into a sequel.

Like he was literally gonna do nothing more than just re-edit the first movie. Somehow in some way, you could justify making a sequel out of it. And he is like, come on guys, let’s. Let’s add some more stuff. 

Craig: I read something like they were gonna shoot some sort of wraparound where it was going to turn out that the events of the first movie never really happened.

They were just some delusions in some crazy person’s mind. The ravings of a madman. Right. And we’ve seen 

Todd: that before where people just do 

Craig: that. I don’t know. I can’t think of anything offhand, but I mean, it’s not like it’s a radical idea. Again, I think they were just trying to make money. They just wanted to get something out fast.

To make a buck. Yeah. Yeah. They just wanted to get something out fast. But it evolved into this and I, I think originally. There was a, another edit of this where it was even more, it was more like what you just said. It was mostly just a, a recut, I don’t remember if it didn’t test well or, or the producers didn’t like it or something.

And that’s when he kind of got permission to go in and shoot more of the Ricky stuff. 

Todd: Yeah. They got like 250,000 bucks to go in and shoot some more Ricky stuff beyond just what was inside the, uh, the room with where he, where he is with the doctor. And so he was told by one of the guys to really overact.

And so he’s deliberately and intentionally overacting. He thought the whole time he was basically shooting a comedy and he hadn’t even seen the first movie. He said, my head wasn’t really in this. I had other plans for my acting career at this time. This was definitely just a paycheck. He got 1400 bucks for it, and he just kind of did what he was told and didn’t really know much about the first movie.

He said, if I’d seen the first movie, I think I would’ve played this differently. But no, he’s over the top acting. His eyebrows are like, they have a mind of their own. His eyebrows need agents in this one. I 

Craig: know, but I I, I read that even that was directed. Yeah, it was, you know, they, they told him to be really super exaggerated with his eyebrows, with his face in his delivery, and.

It’s goofy and over the top, but it, I don’t know. It’s funny. I get it. Like if you’re making a joke, I just don’t know if people expected a joke, you know? ’cause the first movie, right? I, I, you can find dark comedy in it, I guess, but it’s really dark. This one, the comedy is more overt and maybe, I don’t know.

Maybe had I known that that was the intention, I would’ve felt a different way about it. But at the time, and even just until today, even just until today, this morning when I got up and watched it at six 30 this morning, it, uh, I was like, I, I think I get it. I, I think I get what they were going for, and I, I don’t know, maybe that’s just, you know, hindsight being 2020 or maybe it’s looking at it through a different.

Cultural lens. I don’t know, but I get why people like it 

Todd: now. Well, I think it kind of devolves into comedy because the way it starts out, it seems selfer and actually does it. It’s so selfer that it is a bit campy. I mean, I, it felt a little like they were going in a pretentious direction in the beginning, and then it went on so hard that I thought maybe they are trying to be funny.

But there were never any hints. It wasn’t like later when it’s just flat out crazy, like the dude’s like walking down the street like Robocop. You know what I mean? Yeah. But in this case. It seems like they’re really going for style. I mean, there’s, there’s the credit sequence. There’s a slow pan up his legs.

He’s sitting smoking. There’s closeups on the cigarette, closeups on his eyes. You know, a door opens, but we don’t see who it is walking in, and then it turns out to be some orderly. Who never says a word and I’m convinced they just didn’t want to pay this guy. You know, the, the, the fees you have to pay a guy to actually give him a line.

’cause I mean, anybody in this situation would’ve set a line at some point, and he goes through this whole bit, not doing it. Sets up a reel to reel tape recorder on the table in this little white room, staring at him, looking over his shoulder, won’t take his eyes off of big eyes, you know, plugs it into the wall.

This was his only job. Was to drop this in the room, plug it into the wall and walk out and he’s, and it takes five minutes, stretches it out for 10 minutes. I know it’s insane. And you do feel like this movie really is trying hard to stretch things out at times. And this is definitely one of those moments.

And so I just wasn’t sure if they were just trying to be stylish or if this was supposed to be as funny as it comes across. ’cause it’s pretty darn funny. And then another doctor walks in the room and another guy, I swear he just looked so fricking familiar to me. But he was, he’s not been really in anything.

The doctor, I don’t know. He wasn’t familiar to me. Oh, the Doctor Bloom. James. Yeah, James Newman is his name. He’s been like a guy in Legally Blonde too. He’s, he was in a, just a couple episodes of some, some things, nothing else. Again, he just, I think he’s just an actor who looks like another actor. But anyway, they 

Craig: kind of, everybody in this movie kind of is just generically eighties.

Todd: Yeah, that’s true. 

Craig: Even the orderly. Has kind of an early, not today, but like an early Samuel L. Jackson kind of looked to him with kind of the big eyes and, 

Todd: oh, that’s a good point actually. 

Craig: And later on, the blonde girlfriend kind of looks like. Every blonde girlfriend from the eighties, like the blonde girlfriend from weird science and yeah.

But at least, at 

Todd: least we’ve seen her in stuff. Yeah. Oh, okay. 

Craig: Well, I don’t, I didn’t remember that either, but everybody’s just kind of generically eighties in including the main guy. But I get what you’re saying where it feels kind of selfer, but I just don’t know. And I haven’t seen, I looked for like documentaries or you know, people talking about this and I.

And, and not for very long, but I didn’t find anything. I just would be interested to know if at, I assume at the time the director initially wanted it to be a comedy, right? I don’t know. 

Todd: Hold on. I was looking at, yeah, I don’t know. They, they, like I said, they gave conflicting. Information to him. One of them told him to kind of play up the comedy.

One of ’em told him to overact, you know, it’s, I guess the writer was in the, the writers were in the room. One of them was the actual director. 

Craig: So yeah, I, it said what I’m, what I’m reading is that Lee Harry has said that the producers wanted a straight slasher, but he wanted to lean in to the dark comedy just because he thought that it was so absurd.

So that’s why he directed everybody to kind of play it big and. I don’t know. I mean, looking at it from that perspective, I think in the past I’ve just tried to look at it as a direct sequel. I’m expecting something along the same lines and it, it takes such a hard veer into the comedy that I think that it just kind of threw me off kilter.

Mm. If you approach it as that, like. So bad. It’s good or intentionally goofy, I think. I think you’ll appreciate you enjoy a lot more. You enjoy. Yeah, you’ll enjoy it a lot more. And I did this time around. 

Todd: Yeah. See, this is why we do this. This is why we visit these movies. Even, even though we have bad feelings about them, sometimes we come back to them with a whole new eyes, don’t we?

So, uh, thank you to those patrons out there who, who asked for it. 

Craig: I’m not giving it a glowing endorsement. It is a bad movie, but. It’s, it’s funny and it’s kind of funny to watch, but that whole thing, like you said, like the, the orderly never taking his eyes off the guy, like it’s so intense. Like it’s ridiculously intense.

Like he’s just staring him down. Mm-hmm. And then Ricky, I mean, he’s just playing like, I don’t know, like James Dean cool. Smoking his cigarettes and his jeans and his. Jean shirt and you know, he’s in an institution or whatever, so he’s kind of in these institutional clothes, but the doctor comes in, the doc’s like, my name is Dr.

Blum. 

Todd: You can 

Craig: call me Henry. Or if you would feel more comfortable, you can just call me Doc. Fuck off doc. And I was like, oh, he’s a badass. 

Todd: Right? 

Craig: Like that’s just, that’s just, oh my God. Okay. I see we’re dealing with a real 

Todd: badass here. 

Craig: Well, they cast him. 

Todd: They ca they were gonna cast another actor that they said was actually more experienced, but they said they liked his look, they liked that he was kind of this big, he’s, he’s a bodybuilder dude.

You know? I mean, he, not bodybuilder like, like Arnold Schwartzenegger, but this guy’s got muscles, you know? He, he looks like a footballer and he is broadcasted, yeah. Yeah. He looks like a football player. And he’s handsome. He is. He looks good. And honestly like, I’d like to see this guy really acting instead of overacting.

I think he might be quite good. Yeah. Yeah. But it, they’re just up in his face the whole time and he’s just got these lines all the time. That just sound over the top. I mean, the dialogue in these sequences Yeah. Is ridiculous. But really we only see them a few times. Yeah. There’s like 30 seconds of each one, and then would jump to a clip from the first movie and a little bit of his narration from it.

And you’re right, it is just like the best bit. 

Craig: Right When he is delivering those lines so intensely, the camera is right in his face. Yeah. Like most of the, like sometimes he’s looking at the camera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are actually. Okay. So then we get into the, the doctor’s like, I’m your last chance.

Last chance. For what? Like what is happening? I don’t even know. I don’t have no idea. 

Todd: Why is he here? What is going on here? Why is he recording this conversation? Is he doing what’s going 

Craig: on? Doing? I don’t know. It did. Yeah. And Ricky’s like, well I, I’ve talked to all the doctors and I know all the tricks, you know, whatever.

’cause he’s a tough guy. But then the doctor’s like, well first of all, they put on the screen date. December 24th. Why? Who cares? Like that’s significant. Why do you need to put that as like a text on the screen? I think we could figure that out some other time or whatever. But anyway, then he’s like, who killed your parents?

And does Ricky say something like, are you ready for it? Santa Claus. And then he does that more than once and then it’s the flashback to the whole first movie. So if you haven’t seen the first movie and you don’t wanna watch it, just go back and listen to our episode. ’cause I’m sure we go over it in great detail.

In great detail. Yes. That’s what happens. We watch the whole movie for the next 40 minutes with Ricky popping in and out periodically, and there’s actually, there, there is some fun. You know, this guy was an editor and I, I think that he has specialized in movie trailers. He’s done some movie trailers from, for some really big, there’s some cool editing in here.

Even in this, in the flashbacks, they will sometimes. Quickly cut back to Ricky as he’s kind of reliving and retelling the story and it’s really fast kind of stuff, but I actually really, I appreciated that editing 

Todd: stuff. Do you know what I’m talking about? Yeah, I know exactly what you’re talking about.

Yeah. There were bits where like it would just jump to him or it would flash back and forth to him like he was having this flashback in the moment. Yeah, it was really cool. And he’s, yeah, he’s in the moment, 

Craig: like, he’s kind of like, we know he’s, he’s telling the story, but it’s edited in such a way that it’s almost like, like he’s so in the moment that he’s a part of the story.

Yeah. I, I thought it was cool. 

Todd: Yeah, it was cool. Yeah. I thought that actually like the editing was good. Uh, you know, to make something like this somewhat interesting is gonna be a challenge. And I think, you know, they did the best that they could and it turned out. You know, for those moments anyway, somewhat interesting.

And honestly, if you had not seen the first movie before, you might enjoy this first half. I mean, honestly, think about it. It’s true. If you, they show all the best parts. Yeah. It’s like you said, you, you could skip seeing the first movie, you could just see this whole thing and you could take it all as one movie and, and it would be fine.

I mean, I think, like I said, I think you’d be missing out on a little bit more of the, what makes the first movie kind of fun. But, uh, like you said, you see all the best scenes, all the gore and everything, and it’s clear that they didn’t have as big a budget for this. Second half because a lot of the kills are underwhelming or offscreen.

There’s, there’s just not much for makeup or effects or anything like that until the very end. 

Craig: Yeah. Okay. So we see the whole first movie again, and the first movie ends with Billy, the initial killer getting shot by the police right in front of. His brother. 

Todd: Yep. 

Craig: Now we get into Ricky’s story and we find out that this was, I liked this.

He got put into a good foster home with nice parents. Yeah. That never happens in these movies. No, not usually, but he, he gets put into a nice place with nice parents and it looks like the 

Todd: Wonder Years, there’s like super eight style footage of them, like barbecuing in the back. Stuff. It was kind of cute 

Craig: and there’s 

Todd: never a 

Craig: turn like you expect like at some point he’s with his mom and he sees some nuns on the street and he freaks out and then he sees some like red cloth in a window and he flashes back to his brother getting shot in the Santa suit.

Yeah. It freaks him out. And the mom is concerned and they go back to talk to. The nuns from the convent or whatever that he was adopted from, and I was like, oh, this is where it’s terrible. They’re gonna send him back. No, no. Like they, they’re just real, they’re just really concerned about him and they want to, you know, do everything that they can and they take him back home and yeah, they’re great.

Eventually, you know, his. Foster dad dies and it hits him really hard. And then that’s kind of, yeah, by the 

Todd: way, where he goes five years later and I’m like, okay, this kid is 12. This kid does not look five years older than what we just saw. And then I was, I was reading the trivia and I was like, yeah, like he was even older than adult Ricky.

It’s pretty 

Craig: funny. I had read that too. Well, the Ricky that’s being interviewed in the institution is supposed to be 18. That guy does not look 18 to me. Oh God. No, that’s true. I would say he’s well into his twenties, but at this point when his dad dies, he’s supposed to be 15. And yes, I read that too, that the actor who plays the 15-year-old Ricky is older than the actor that played the 18-year-old Ricky, but I didn’t think he looked 15.

But I didn’t think he looked older than the other guy. 

Todd: He just looked massively older than what the one we had seen before. Sure, sure, sure. It’s funny because now we’re gonna get new information because he says his stepdad died and there’s like have a scene with him and his stepmom there at the grave and his stepmom walks one way and he walks another way for some reason.

I don’t know. And he’s like, I used to like to. To hike in the back woods. I’ve never 

Clip: told anybody this before. Let it out. Here he comes. Yeah.

Todd: And the camera even is like close up on his face. Oh God. The dialogue is so funny. And it’s like he’s got like a, like a wicked smile. 

Craig: Like, ha ha, get ready for this. 

Todd: Oh my gosh. He’s so sinister. He, he’s hiking in the woods. He comes upon a jeep, which is out there and it’s red and there’s a couple picnicking in the grass.

And you know, he looks from the trees and he watches the boyfriend being naughty with her. You know what triggered the first guy? His brother was? Flashing back to his mother being almost raped. And what we got in the first movie were a couple, two or three different scenes of women almost being raped with triggered Ricky to kill them.

I’m sorry to triggered Billy to kill them. It seems like Ricky’s a little more open to different triggers. Sometimes it’s the rape that he was really, really young and probably didn’t even see from inside the car, but nevertheless, oftentimes it’s red. It’s the color red. 

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. 

Todd: That messes him up. But in this case, it’s just this, this rape.

He’s like, oh, you’re a naughty. 

Craig: These, but these movies, God, I mean, we see the scene, you know when, when his mom is assaulted in in the first movie, and then we see in the first movie, these coworkers are like flirting through this whole party, and then they go back into the stockroom or whatever and the guy attempts to rape her.

Yeah. And that’s what triggers Billy. And then this happens here too. This seems like. A couple like, yeah, they’re out there and the guy basically tries to rape her too. Like 

Todd: everybody is so rapey in these movies. They’re rapey. I think we said that about the previous one too. And this guy’s bizarrely rapey because he likes, tries to rape her.

She’s very upset. He’s then he goes, fuck this, I’m getting a beer, but I’ll be back. And he walks away and she just sits there like she’s gonna wait for him to come back. I mean, right? Yeah. Oh God. It’s just so dumb. Right? 

Craig: So he, right, so he goes back to his, uh, and he, you know, Ricky’s, he’s like, naughty. So the guy goes to his jeep to get a beer, whatever, and.

There’s a camera trick where the guy is standing in front of the Jeep and then he moves or something to reveal Ricky behind the wheel, and then Ricky just runs him over back and forth multiple times. It was hilarious. And then he does it and he gets out and the girl walks up and goes. Thank you and walks away,

Todd: God, the sense of justice here. It’s crazy. Then we get back to the room and he says something to the, I don’t know, there’s some back and forth between him and the doctor. It 

Craig: shows, well, it shows. It shows the doctor like furiously writing in all capital. Huge letters. Red car. Like this is some huge revelation.

I know. It’s, it’s crazy. 

Todd: Anyway, he says something to him, I can’t remember exactly what it was like, what was your home life like? Whatever. And the doctor’s like, oh, it was actually pretty good. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then Ricky goes, my aunt couldn’t afford to send me to college, so I got a job and the next scene and, and this is kind of what it is from here on out, it’s really just scenes.

Mm-hmm. It’s not really. A story, not so much. It’s just, here’s the thing that happened to me then, and this thing happened to me then, and he’s just taken the trash out to an alley. He sees two guys fighting, doesn’t intervene, doesn’t do anything, doesn’t wanna punish anybody until one of them pulls out an insanely large, bright red handkerchief.

And, uh, wipes his face with it and Ricky sees that. And Ricky has the same super strength that Billy had in the previous movie to be able to hold people up really high by the neck Uhhuh. And he does that by 

Craig: one hand, by one arm? Yeah. Yeah. 

Todd: By one hand. He takes his other arm, finds an umbrella nearby. And the look on his face when he sees that umbrella.

Bowls it up. I laughed out loud. It was hilarious. This is, it’s just total camp. If you have any question, if this movie’s gonna be campy or not, this scene settles it for you because he shoves the umbrella through this guy’s stomach. And then when the camera pulls out, you see that the umbrella has opened up on the other side and it’s all bloody and tattered.

Yeah. The guy falls. The guy falls forward on the ground. Ricky walks away and we have this long lingering scene of the bloody umbrella and then it starts raining. Oh, that’s funny. I didn’t even know that. And it slowly pushes it on the umbrella again because they’re definitely pushing for time. Yeah. 

Craig: You know, and it’s funny you said.

The, uh, red handkerchief, red does play into it so much, and, and we’re told very early on in that scene when he’s a kid that the color red triggers him and freaks him out. But to be fair, in this scene, the guy that he kills is a bookie who was beating up and threatening to kill another guy in the. Back.

So up to this point he’s only killed a couple people, but they’ve both been bad guys. Yeah. At some point that changes true, but at this point he, you know, I think as delusional and psychotic as it was Billy in the first movie. Had had ingrained in him by Mother Superior that people who are naughty deserve to be punished.

Punishment is good, so like obviously he’s right cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, but he was trying to punish people for bad behavior and even his. Notions of what was good and what was bad. Were very skewed by his upbringing, but there’s kind of this moralistic thing to it and, and up until this point, it’s the same.

There’s kind of a moralistic thing to it. It’s not like he’s just going out and killing people at random as he will later. 

Todd: Right. When the movie takes a turn. Yeah. Right. Anyway. No, you’re right. And that’s important to point out. It was such a strong element of the first movie, and it was very consistent through the first movie.

This one, you’re right, it just kind of goes off the rails at some point. But here, he’s still doing that. I, I love this interstitial again, where he is like, Richard, do you know why you’re here? Tell me. No, you tell me. I asked you first. I’m finished talking. Henry, who’s this? And he pulls out a, a photo, A headshot.

A headshot. Yeah. I didn’t, I didn’t understand that at all. It’s like the actress’s headshot. 

Craig: Yeah. It’s like signs. Yes. It’s like what is, what is happening? What is this? And, and this. The girl in the movie is not supposed to be an actress or anything. She’s just a normal girl. 

Todd: I think 

Craig: it’s a 

Todd: prop. She brought in 

Craig: I bet.

Anything It was her actual headshot. Oh, it has to be. It was so funny. It’s so 

Todd: funny. It’s been sighed. 

Craig: They have a meet, a meet Cute where she hits him with her car and then laughs. She hits him. He’s on his motorcycle and, and it’s not like they have a, like a, a. Car accident or whatever, like it’s, it’s very low impact.

He’s not even moving and she just kind of bumps him, but he falls over and she hits him with her car and then she gets out and he’s down on the ground and his bicycle’s down and she just starts laughing like, 

Clip: that’s so funny. Poor guy. 

Craig: And then there’s becomes aism, right? Romantic. And this is very typical, like you said, it just feels like a series of vignettes.

I feel like it could have been fleshed out into a full. 85 minutes, you could have done more with this relationship. This was maybe even my favorite part. It was kind of cute. It is just basically a little romance montage where they have their meat, cute and then they ride his motorcycle and then they have sex.

Todd: Yeah, that was a really long, again, stretched out for time all over her body apparently was supposed to be even more involved. That’s interesting. Uhhuh, this actress though, we’ve seen her before. She’s Elizabeth Kitan. She was in the last Friday, the 13th movie we did. She was one of the girls in there.

She’s, you know, she was in a lot of these like silly, silly, made for cable kind of movies like Dr. Alien and Night Wish and several, the Vice Academy comedy. I, I don’t know, I, a lot of these movies I used to watch late at night on USA, she was in. Sure. Yeah. So, I mean, she was very, very familiar to me anyway.

But yeah, she’s, she looks good. She’s pretty, she does a fine job. She might be the best actress in this whole thing. I don’t know. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they, they have their little meet. Cute. They have their little riding around without helmets on, which always drives me crazy. But that’s the movie thing, I guess.

Sorry, I sound like an old man when I say that. And then they end up in a movie theater. It’s a very tiny movie theater. It looks more like a screening room with six people in it. It looks like. It looks like a porn set. It kind of does. Actually. It probably was, and a whole bunch of really complicated stuff happens here.

Like they’re trying to watch the movie. There are these two guys in the back who are dicking around and being goofy. There’s this older couple in the middle who just look confused and keeps staring ahead. Then he decides to get up. For some reason, and then some other dude pops up behind her all of a sudden says his name is Chip and it’s clearly like an earlier flame and they have a kind of argument and then it cuts back to the back where the goofy dude is, is dicking around with the other guy and they do this funny little camera trick where suddenly the other guy’s replaced with Billy and, I’m sorry, with Ricky?

Ricky, yeah. In like a split second. I don’t know what Ricky did with that other guy. Silently Soundlessly. I don’t either, but suddenly he’s there and then like he kind of pounces on him and we see like a cartoon, like a bug’s buddy cartoon. Yeah, this guy’s leg just flies in the air. And popcorn. Popcorn flying.

Craig: I thought that was really funny. Oh my God. The theater, or at least what they’re showing us. Again, it’s, it’s clearly a set. It’s like, I don’t know, maybe five or six rows of four or five seats of theater seating, but there’s that middle aged couple that you were talking about is sitting in the row or just one or two rows in front of.

Where he’s killing him. And then the girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend are just a couple of rows in front of that. Like, it, it, it is cartoonish. It is funny, but my favorite line in the whole movie is when the boyfriend, the ex-boyfriend is talking to the blonde girl Uhhuh, and he’s like, ah, come on babe.

Come on babe. You know you want me back. 

Clip: Go away. Hey, I’m trying to give you another chance. Great. You stood me up. You cheated on me. You ruined my best sweater, and I would rather die before I go out with you again. 

Todd: You ruined my best sweater.

Craig: Her delivery is perfect. Oh my God. I laughed out loud so hard. It is funny. You’ve ruined my best sweater. I’d rather die than go out with you again. Ugh. Oh my God. 

Todd: So funny. Okay. And in the testament to how, how good this writing is, chip was introduced in that first scene, just so the week of the two of them are walking down the street and he’s in front of his red car, which he also calls out later, Uhhuh.

Anyway, you know, Ricky can see that she’s, he’s an old flame and that enrages him. And Chip is like, Hey baby, don’t you wanna get back with me? All that stuff. And then he says, that’s enough. And then Chip goes, yeah, that’s what she said. When I. Your brain’s out in the backseat of Old Red here. Yeah.

Craig: And 

Todd: then my favorite kill of the whole movie right here. Yeah. It’s fun. Again, out in broad daylight as as often happens right in front of his girlfriend who does nothing for a while. You know, Ricky basically answer pulls one of the. One of the, what do you call it? Cables. Cables off of the cable jumper cables.

Yeah. I guess he’s jumping his car, isn’t he, from some other battery. And he sticks it in his mouth, onto his tongue. And this guy, I, this must have been the most expensive special effect in the whole movie. ’cause they clearly had to make like a fake head or something. Mm-hmm. And yeah, he a very close up, he worked, he cranks up the juice and the guy, you know, starts smoking from inside the mouth and gets burned up.

There’s a little bit of an animation in there too. It’s kind of impressive. I like this bit. And then she runs up behind him and goes. What are you doing? Are you out of your mind? You killed him. I hate you, Ricky. I hate you. 

Craig: And then, then my second favorite line in the movie, he looks at her and says, punish and like grabs the car antenna.

And she goes. Uhoh.

She literally said, uhoh, and turns around and runs away. Oh 

Todd: my God. Uhoh. This is the point where I was like, okay, this is clearly off the rails, because then it looks like she’s, he’s gonna go after her too. But then suddenly a cop appears and it’s, it’s like Andy Griff. Yeah, but he does, 

Craig: he kills her. He strangles her with the antenna.

Todd: Did he strangle her right then and there with the antenna? Okay. You’re right. I think 

Craig: so. Yeah. And then, and then the cop shows up and the cop appears 

Todd: and he is like, oh, you put your, put your gun down. And he comes at him, walks straight up to him. You put your hands up. He gets so close to him that obviously Ricky can just grab the gun, turn it on the cop, and shoot him in the forehead.

So now Ricky has a gun and now Ricky. Is Robocop at this point, I was thinking, where is Santa Claus in this movie? Like, where are we gonna get Ricky as Santa? Oh yeah. But I realized we had Ricky as Robocop and I enjoyed that far more, and that was enough for me. He starts walking deliberately down the street in what must be the quietest neighborhood ever.

As a guy comes running outta the house and goes, Hey, what’s going on here? P shoots him big blood spray up against the wall and he’s 

Craig: laughing maniacally like, ha ling, 

Todd: he’s just so stupid. And then, and a guy comes out putting the garbage down and he goes. Garbage day. 

Craig: He shoots him through the garbage can.

Yeah. Which has become like a huge meme. And oh, that’s, I, that’s when people talk about this movie that if you mention this movie and people know this movie, that’s what they’ll say. Garbage Day Day.

And I guess that was just improvised on the dates. It works. But see at this point, like he’s. He’s totally lost it. Like these people didn’t do anything wrong. But there is a funny part where he’s like, he shot a bunch of people, like there’s bodies everywhere, right? And this little girl bumps into him with her tricycle and she’s like, excuse me.

And he’s like, 

Todd: okay. And she just rides away. And she rides off. Oh my God. And then a car comes at him and he shoots at the car and there’s a little car stuck. A red car? Yeah, a red car. He shoots at the car twice. He hits the driver, which causes the car to go a little off into something else, which flips it over.

And the act of flipping this car over also makes it explode. And again. I’m waiting for more people to run out. I’m waiting for more cops to show up and eventually two cops do show up. They are already blocking the road and they’ve got their guns trained on him, and they’re telling him to put his gun down and then he starts turning the gun on himself and they’re like, no, don’t do it.

It’s not worth it. No, don’t do it. 

Craig: Oh 

Todd: my God. 

Craig: That audio is so funny. Yeah, it was hilarious. I read somewhere that most of this is a DR Oh, gotta be almost every, not, not even just this scene, like the whole movie. It’s gotta be, man, I, I’m, I’m, I’m pretty sure that the interviewer guy, that’s not the actor’s voice.

That’s, yeah. Yeah. It’s, that’s it’s adr. Sometimes it’s really obvious. A lot of Ricky’s dialogue is a DR. To be fair, whoever did the A DR did a good job because I don’t know that I would’ve necessarily have known it. It matches up pretty well. Yeah. Not for a lot of it. Some of it, it’s obvious, but yeah. And this part with the cops, it was Don’t do it.

Oh God. Oh gosh. It was. So funny. Oh man. So funny. But he tries to shoot himself, but the gun’s empty when he tries to shoot himself. Yep. And he’s like, stupid mistake or something. And he’s still talking to Bloom. But then it’s revealed that off camera, he has strangled him with the tape. From the tape recorder.

Yep. I find that unlikely that that tape is not that strong. Good 

Todd: point, actually. Yeah. So 

Craig: then he, so he escapes 

Todd: and we have all new characters suddenly introduced for the last 10 minutes. There’s a detective, of course there’s a detective and there’s a nun there for some reason. And is this supposed to be the younger nun from the first movie?

Craig: I don’t know. I think it’s just somebody from that convent that he. Lived at or whatever, and she tells 

Todd: us exactly what we need to know. He walked 

Clip: out here six hours ago. It’s Christmas Eve, the orphanage is closed, Lieutenant, there’s no reason Mother Superior had a stroke. She’s retired and lives alone. Oh my God.

Todd: So they surmised that he’s going now too. Settle the score with Mother Superior from the first movie, 

Craig: which he is. You know what’s funny talking about this? It’s, it’s like they had an outline. For a script and they just shot the outline. Like I, I, I really feel like all of these things. Yeah. Actually, I really feel like all of these things could have been tied together.

Right. 

Todd: You’re 

Craig: right. And there could have been a cohesive movie, but they just had plot points. They’re like, well, let’s just shoot the plot points. Let’s not, let’s not worry about the connective tissue. Let’s just shoot these different parts. You know, eventually he’s going to get his revenge on Mother Superior, and that’s the part that we’re at now.

Todd: Well, in that way, honestly, I hate to interrupt you, but in that way it really does kind of match the first half of the movie, doesn’t it? ’cause it’s really just clips, plot points from the first film. That’s true. It’s not entirely tonally off. In this way. Sure. This is just, it’s just like these are flash forwards instead of flashbacks.

Craig: So he kills the Salvation Army, Santa for the suit. Offscreen. Offscreen, and gets in the suit. And he calls, he looks in the phone book. I guess he looked up Mother Superior, I don’t know. 

Todd: Yeah. And what is up with her face? Yeah. Why does half of her face a big mess? 

Craig: PE people who have had strokes do not turn into lizard people on one half of their face.

I don’t know if they were trying to obscure like that. It was a different actress. Uh, maybe. Maybe I read, oh, oh, there’s something in the trivia that’s not really trivia, it’s just somebody’s opinion. But I thought it was funny. I mean, the part of it is because her address is 6 6 6, which is evil. Yeah. And you know, in the first movie, she’s clearly the villain.

She’s. The bad guy or whatever, and I, maybe it wasn’t in the trivia. I don’t know where I read it, but it’s something like, she’s not a mother superior anymore and she lives at 6, 6, 6, and she doesn’t just have a droopy face, like a stroke victim. She has a demon face. So she’s a demon. 

Todd: Oh, we’re giving this movie far too much credit.

Yeah, far too. 

Craig: But I mean, her face is gross and messed up weird on one side. I don’t know what’s, and Ricky acts as his way in 

Todd: shining style 

Craig: and he’s like, I’ve got a present for you. Yeah, there are. There are about 15 there. Jack Torrance style shots of him acting his way through doors and looking through multiple doors.

Multiple doors, yeah. 

Todd: Again, stretching for time. It’s like, uh, we, we we need to kill five more minutes. Throw another door in front of ’em. Well, how are we gonna shoot that? Shoot it the way you shot the last one. Just like the shining.

Here we go. 

Craig: Yeah. Are you ready for It is a little bit of a chase me. She’s in a wheelchair by the by. So it’s, it’s not a very exciting. Chase? No, it’s 

Todd: not. But, but she’s distracted. He’s distracted. His shadow is, uh, with the door axing up everything in the room. Yeah. She goes for the, the staircase. Right? And, and he comes out like, what’s she gonna do?

Yes. There was like one of those. Seats that take you down the stairs or something. I first, there wasn’t, I didn’t under, 

Craig: but there wasn’t No, there wasn’t 

Todd: no, I, or at least I didn’t see one. If there was, I mean, the first thing I saw when he first came in the house, and we knew this, there was this woman in the house in a wheelchair.

I was like, why is she on the second floor? Right? Why does she 

Craig: live in a house? With a huge staircase. Doesn’t make any sense. 

Todd: Yeah, doesn’t make any sense. But anyway, so she goes to the staircase and I don’t know what she’s trying to do, but, but he, I think, 

Craig: swings the ax at her or something. I don’t know.

But she falls down the stairs. Fortunately, there’s another wheelchair right down there at the bottom that she can climb into. I know. Where did that come from? We must be being led to believe that there’s a chairlift there, that that’s the only explanation. Yes. 

Todd: But he walked up those stairs. He did not push a, pull a wheelchair behind him as he did that.

You know, it’s, it’s just ridiculous. Right. And she took a tumble too. Oh yeah. And he has a very hard time. It takes him an awful lot of time for him to pull his ax. Out of the seat of that wheelchair. 

Craig: Yeah, the fabric seat. He can lift a grown man with one arm. 

Todd: Right. 

Craig: But he can’t get that ax. Out of the seat of, it’s too much for ’em, a regular wheelchair.

They, they don’t make ’em like they used to man. Right. So she, she’s able to wheel herself into the kitchen and get a big knife and she wheels herself back into the dining room and she’s like, come out Ricky. And she’s feeling cocky. Oh yeah, she’s tough. She’s a She’s a bad bitch. Yeah, we’re naughty. And now it’s time for your punishment again.

I didn’t get to punish you the first time. Yeah. You’re just like your brother. Yeah. God, I’m not afraid of you. You’re weak. Just like your brother must be. Punish. And he comes out and she’s like, you are being very naughty. And he says, naughty this. And then it cuts away. 

Todd: Oh man. Cuts away. The cops have arrived.

At least, at least the detective got one more scene in here. So he comes in with this nun. And, uh, they see the mother superior sitting there at the table, but she’s not moving. And the nun walks over. I mean, I saw this coming a mile away. But anyway, the nun walks over and it’s like, mother Superior, are you all right?

And she touches her face and her head falls off. She screams, and then Ricky comes up behind with a big axe in the air. And just like his brother, the cop shoots him about a dozen times. And he flies backwards through the French doors outside, lays down on the ground, his eyes are closing and a closeup on him.

The camera slowly pans up his body and he looks dead and he comes, the cop comes down to the nun and Sister Mary who’s on the floor. Are you okay? And she turns to the side and she sees mother superior’s head there and she screams. And then it cuts us out to Ricky, whose eyes open and he smirks. What is he alive?

Craig: The end. Yeah. What? 

Todd: I don’t know. I guess it’s one of those, he was just 

Craig: satisfied. I, 

Todd: one of those horror endings, who cares? Yeah. And apparently the, the credits had to last about 11 minutes or else they couldn’t get this to even an hour and 30. So 

Craig: Yeah, they, I, yeah, I think they ran the full credits for both movies, the first one and the second horror.

They, maybe they re-edited, but they, they credited everybody from the first movie and the second movie also, to add even more time. That’s how desperate they were. And then I think that if I remember correctly, and I may be totally wrong, I didn’t look this up, so you would have to fact check this if you were actually interested, but I think that part three is still somehow connected to this story to 

Todd: somehow, 

Craig: didn’t we do part three?

No, we’ve never done part three. 

Todd: Really? We’ve done four and five. 

Craig: Uhhuh. We’ve done four and five. 

Todd: Do we even do six? Was there a six? 

Craig: I don’t know how many there are, but I, I think, yeah. What we did, the point I was trying to make was, I think that after part three, it just goes into totally different territory.

Like they abandoned the original story. Yeah. 

Todd: It’s just like a, it’s like a franchise. 

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. And some of those later ones are so wacky. Like the toy maker one. Oh my God was so wacky. I really liked it. That’s 

Todd: the one with Mickey Rooney in it. Yeah. Oh. And screaming Mad George had all those effects and they’re crazy weird and, and Ron Howard’s brothers in it.

That was a crazy one. Yes. And the initiation with the ladies in the witches coven was also fun. It 

Craig: was weird. And yeah, those later ones are so weird that they’re. Definitely worth checking out. I will say that I think now I can finally understand why people find pleasure and joy in this one. I think I finally get it.

Yeah. It is campy and it is silly, and it is funny if you approach it through that lens. I do think that you can have a really good time with it. The first half kind of irritated me. It felt kind of like a waste of time. Like, yeah, I’ve seen the first movie, but there again, like I said. There’s even some interesting editing stuff going on there.

I, I use the term interesting, loosely as interesting as it. Can be. Mm. But then the second half of the movie, I don’t know. I, I, I just, it’s bonkers. I feel like I get it. I, yeah, I’m, I’m, I’m still, it’s not like I’m a huge fan. It’s not like I would ever, you know, get real enthusiastic in a recommendation of it.

But it is campy. There is fun to be had, and I think that most of the people who listen to us share similar tastes could find enjoyment in it. Just, it’s, it’s silly if you’re looking for the silliness. You could have a good time. 

Todd: I mean, you had me braced for a slog for years. You’ve been saying, God, I don’t want do this one, because it’s mostly just clips from the first movie.

And so, you know, when I was watching, I was like, okay, I mean, yeah, this is what it’s gonna be. But then when I saw the first movie kind of wrapping up about halfway through, I was like, okay, well where’s it gonna go from here? And I was not disappointed at all. Good. I just got funnier and funnier and funnier to the point, like you said, where it was clear that they were not taking this seriously.

And I was on board with it. I rarely. Do I laugh out loud at movies, and there were three moments in this movie where I laughed. I’m sitting by myself watching it on a computer, taking notes, and I freaking laughed out loud

the lines. Oh. And I was just, I, I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. I’m glad. But, but like you said. Like we said earlier, if you haven’t seen the first one, just watch this one and you’ll probably find it at least compelling for one reason or another all the way through. If you have seen the first one, just jump to the middle.

Yeah. And watch it from there and save yourself some time. But it’s worth it. I think it’s fun and, and it eventually, it wraps up and come, brings back Christmas. I was afraid it wasn’t gonna do that, but yeah, he becomes Santa Claus at the end and kind of a parallels the first one with his brother and all that and the nuns.

So, uh, that was cool. Yeah, I mean, I recommend it. On those bases. Put it on in the background. At your Christmas party. Oh, on your Christmas party. That’s what we’re gonna say now, huh? It’d be, it’d be fun ambiance. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Well, you know, you’re rolling out cookie dough and punching out gingerbread men. Everybody will.

Cheer when he says garbage day and it’ll be, oh God, 

Craig: festive. It’s so funny. 

Todd: Thank you guys so much for, uh, recommending this movie to us. We’re really happy to get back to it and reappraise it after all these years. If you have any more Christmas movies you’d like us to do, please just drop us a line. You can find us [email protected].

You can click talk to us, you can send us an audio clip and we’d be happy to play those on the air. That’s been fun though, these last few episodes. Or you can just shoot us an email. Sign up for our newsletter. It’s our, it’s also there on the page and if you just respond to the newsletter, you’ll send us a direct message and that’s, that’ll get to us as well.

Just leave a comment there On Facebook, you can be a patron if you so desire five bucks a month gets you all access and you can hear all the complete. Unedited phone calls and what boring stuff is happening in our personal lives before and after the call. All the juicy tidbits that I cut out in the middle just to annoy you guys and make you pay us, you can do that if you, if you really care.

We also record Mini SOS from time to time, and that’s pretty fun. Uh, we have a nice little book club going behind the scenes as well. So, uh, patreon.com/chainsaw podcast. Until next time. I’m Todd. And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

This week’s pick was a bit last minute, but we settled on the 2015 film ‘Body’ from Shudder’s holiday horror selection.

We delve into the plot of this situational thriller set on Christmas Eve, discussing its lack of compelling twists and predictable storyline. We’ll compare it to other similar films like ‘Very Bad Things’ and ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ and share our honest thoughts on the characters and overall execution.

Is ‘Body’ a thrilling holiday film or just ‘mid’? Join us to find out. And hey, we’ve got a heartwarming message from a listener in Alabama that you won’t want to miss. Tune in and let us know your thoughts!

Episode 467, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: You know, I think we were a little unprepared this time around. Things have been pretty busy for both of us. Yeah. So normally we have these picks kinda laid out a couple weeks in advance and this time around we were kind of scrambling to find one for this week just to get it done.

Snuck up on us. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, um, Craig was like, oh, why don’t you just choose one and I’ll choose one next week? And in the heat of the moment I thought, well, let me just get on Shutter and let me just see something. I know you’re gonna be able to find quickly and easily. Shutter had a convenient little category of holiday horror films and I scrolled through it a little bit.

I was looking for something that I hadn’t seen or we hadn’t done. And this one showed up. It was called Body. From 2015 and it looked like one of those situational movies where mm-hmm. Something bad happens and they’ve gotta deal with it. And I love those kind of movies. Usually they’re pretty exciting.

Mm-hmm. And they can be very bleak. Yeah. So like, I think of like. God, have you ever seen very bad things? Do you remember that one from the nineties? 

Craig: I don’t know. You’d have to remind me. 

Todd: Cameron Diaz, Daniel Stern. Oh, it’s like an all-star cast and it is one of the darkest comedies I’ve ever seen in my life.

And it’s a situation where some guys are on a bachelor party and I think they get a hooker to the hotel room. And when one of the guys is banging the hooker in the bathroom, she accidentally dies. And so they’re trying to deal with it and just things spiral out of control. Like wor other bad things happen, worse things happen.

And they’re trying to cover that up and they’re trying to cover that up. And it is a comedy but is a very dark comedy. I just remember feeling sick to my stomach watching it sometimes. Anyway, these movies have the potential to, to get relief. Thrilling and exciting like this. So I thought, all right, let’s do it.

You know, it’s takes place on Christmas Eve, and then I watched it and. It’s fine. I, no, it’s, it is about as mid as you could get, I would say. 

Craig: Yeah, it’s fine. 

Todd: Just five. 

Craig: The, the best thing about it is that it’s only about an hour and 15 minutes long. 

Todd: Yeah. That was good. That’s good. Well, ’cause like I’m keeping an eye on the clock actually, during this.

Not because I was initially bored, but I was, I looked down and I’d be like, God, like 20 minutes has gone by and nothing’s really happened yet. That’s not a good sign for a movie that’s only an hour and 15 minutes long. 

Craig: Yeah, I think I put that in my notes somewhere too. Like, nothing has happened yet. It’s fine.

Eh. I mean, I think the problem with this movie is that you don’t particularly care about any of the protagonists. Yeah. So you don’t particularly care how it’s gonna turn out and like. Yeah. If you’ve seen these movies before, you’re gonna know which one of them is gonna be the one that’s like, no, we have to cover it up no matter what.

And the one that’s gonna be like, no, we should tell the truth. Like, 

Todd: yeah, it’s projected from the beginning. I’ve 

Craig: seen it a bazillion times. Yeah. I know what you did last summer is probably the most obvious comparison. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: They didn’t mean to. Kill somebody, I guess. I don’t know. 

Todd: Yeah. Yeah. I mean it’s, yeah, we didn’t mean to kill somebody, but somebody’s dead and we’re gonna cover our asses.

But you know, things get complicated and what distinguishes them from each other really the only thing that distinguishes them from each other, because the situation’s always the same, is. What are those complications? What are the things that happen as a result of them trying to cover this shit up? I know what you did last summer, and those horror movies of that ilk are kind of interesting because it’s like the coverup happens and then like years later now weird shit is happening and they’ve gotta deal with it.

Mm. Right? Mm-hmm. Then you have a movie like. A simple plan is a simple plan kind of like that too. I don’t know where it, it compresses the timeframe a little bit and, and, and this movie takes place all within the course of one evening. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: So it’s one of those where the decisions they’re making like are right here in the moment and there’s just not a lot of shit going down.

I don’t know, it’s just like, it’s so mid, it is just so basic and it’s not that interesting. It followed almost a. Predictable path that didn’t have harsh twists in it. And I expected to see harsh twists in here, and I didn’t see anything that surprised me. Did you? 

Craig: I don’t know. I don’t even know what to say about it.

We should set up the plot. I feel like there’s these three girls, Holly. Cali and Mel, and they’re like great friends or whatever, and that’s fine, and they’re hanging out and drinking and. Smoking weed no problem. Day 

Todd: before Christmas Eve, 

Craig: which is the only thing that makes it Christmas Eve, which 

Todd: yeah, that was disappointing.

Craig: Fail. 

Todd: Yeah, you 

Craig: fail. 

Todd: Sorry. 

Craig: It’s fine. It’s fine. I get it. I’ve done the same thing. 

Todd: There was Christmas at the beginning when they’re sitting around and chatting. I actually had high hopes ’cause it’s like, oh, there’s a tree behind them. There’s little Christmas music play in the background. There’s ornaments.

Dad’s got a hat on. I was like, okay, cool. We got Christmasy in this movie. It’s the only time you see it. 

Craig: Dad is wearing sunglasses at night. That I think that they try to later explain that like, oh, he was smoking weed. That’s why he. Where’s his sunglasses at night? Okay. All right. Whatever. Who cares?

Nobody cares. That’s the problem with this movie to me. Like, I don’t care. I don’t care about any of these people. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Callie is the O is the lighter brunette. It’s three basically indistinguishable girls. That’s 

Todd: true. Actually. I kept getting Holly and Melissa like visually mixed up. God. 

Craig: I mean, they’ve already had a great night.

They’ve been having a good time. They’ve been hanging out at one of their parents’ houses, I guess, and they’re smoking weed and drinking, having a great time. But then they’re like, let’s go somewhere else. Let’s drive around and go somewhere else. And Kelly’s like, cool. We’ll go to my uncle’s house. He’s got this big mansion and.

They go there and it is a big, gorgeous mansion. One of them keeps getting. Calls from like her maybe boyfriend. I don’t know. Does it even matter? Does he even 

Todd: Holly and Ben, he shows up later, much later. 

Clip: It’s supposed to be this big mansion and I guess no one’s home. So I think we’re gonna like crash there.

Yeah. Let me, let me ask, are you serious us Kenny? Yeah, I guess it’s funny. Yeah, it’s cool. I’ll text you the address. Okay. See that

Holly? What? Dude, you can’t fucking do that. Why? What’s the big deal? Uh, you just invited a guy to our girls night. I asked. Yeah. What am I supposed to say? No, he’s right there on the phone. Okay. Well, what do you want me to do? You want me to call him back and tell him he can’t come? No, absolutely not. ’cause I don’t look like a huge fucking bitch.

Okay, then what? Just forget it. Whatever 

Todd: you, why are you bringing. Guy to our girls trip, and I was thinking, yeah, why? Why did she do that? Well, we know why they don’t, because we gotta have, I mean, at this point, I’m like, all right, so this is the guy who’s gonna come in later, right? Who’s gonna cause additional complications by his very arrival.

Craig: Oh, I knew it. She’s either gonna cause complications or he’s gonna be the knight in shining armor. Or he’s gonna be the guy that shows up and is like, I’m the knight in shining armor. And then he’s going to like. Ax, you know, like, right, right. We, we’ve seen all this before. I don’t even know, like I’m looking at my notes.

You know, when they’re driving to this place, they pass by somebody who’s stranded on the road. It’s like an old man with a big. Gray beard. Like I was like, is that Santa? I know. Like, are they going to be, are they going to be punished because they didn’t pull over for Santa. 

Todd: Right. I didn’t 

Craig: know what was happening, and I don’t think that ever comes up again.

Does it? 

Todd: Never, never, God, what? What? They made that so mysterious. She pulls up, it’s like she’s gonna stop for this guy. And then one, someone from the backseat goes, no, no, keep going, keep going, keep going. So like she just drives off again and this guy turns and stares at them as they leave and that’s it.

We never see him again. That’s 

Craig: it. Never comes up again. Oh God. 

Todd: Yep. And they go into this house, there’s a, they’re looking for a key and they find a key. It’s a 

Craig: gorgeous house. It’s a huge big mansion. 

Todd: They get inside by, there’s a hidden key, and she seemed to think it was under the rug, but then she’s like, oh no, it made it be up here and it’s in the lamp.

Anyway, they get let themselves in and they start drinking and dancing and, uh, there’s a, and singing 

Craig: Christmas carols, and they have a lovely time. They 

Todd: do. 

Craig: And in my notes. In my notes, yeah. I’m like a quarter of the way down in my notes. I’m like, nothing is happening yet. Like nothing is happening. 

Todd: It’s not like there’s even a lot of character development here either is there?

Mm-hmm. I mean, we’ve got it. Cali is the brash one. Holly is sorta. Holly and Melissa are kind of the same, honestly. They’re just quiet. They’re just the girls 

Craig: that 

Todd: we always see 

Craig: in these movies. There’s nothing, yeah, really distinctive about them, 

Todd: and they’re just trading quips and hanging out. Nobody reveals any big secrets.

Nobody talks about their horrible childhood or their distant dad or anything like that. 

Craig: Looking at my notes, I feel like they’re just throwing everything in because it, Holly examines some pictures for a while. 

Clip: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: That you might think are going to be important. 

Todd: Oh, they are, but I don’t think, oh, are they?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When she wanders to the bathroom, yeah. She sees a family pic on the wall, but it’s all Asians. Yes. It’s like, and then when she goes into the bedroom and lays down, she sees also pictures of a bunch of Asians. I mean that I see. 

Craig: So she knows that it’s not really Cali’s family house. 

Todd: Yeah. She goes and confronts her right away.

She’s like, why are there Asians in these pictures? She’s like, oh, you know, my uncle, he was adopted, and they’re like, really? And she’s like, yeah, you know, they can, that can happen. And they just don’t believe her. Finally, she admits. Okay. Actually it’s not my uncle’s house. This is a family I used to babysit for.

And the minute they discover this and they’re like, well, we’re gonna leave. Suddenly a car station wagon pulls up in front and somebody comes in the house and is like, hello, what’s going on? Where are you? The girls try to run and hide and eventually this person comes upstairs and they try to run, but he kind of grabs them and there’s a little bit of a tussle at the top of the stairs and God, I saw this coming from a mile away.

Yeah. He ends up falling down the stairs. And breaks his neck supposedly. 

Craig: Right, right. I have in my notes, they accidentally kill him on the stairs. Now we find out later that he’s not actually dead. Right. Which only further complicates things because when they think he’s dead initially. Holly wants to call 9 1 1, but Cali’s like, no, we can’t.

This will ruin our whole lives. So we need to say we can, we can admit that we broke in here, but we need to say that he came in and he tried to rape one of us. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. That seems unnecessary. 

Craig: Everything that happens for the next 15 minutes seems unnecessary and disgusting. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know. Like I, I, it is unnecessary.

I don’t, I don’t even remember who said it, but I have in quotes if we tell them that only we have to live with it, I’m, 

Todd: yeah, I’m 

Craig: not sure what that means. In fact, my next note is WTF question mark. What does that even mean? 

Todd: You know, it’s that classic, well, what will this do? She’s not just saying that this will ruin our lives, like we’ll end up in jail, but she’s like, this is gonna ruin our families.

Right? Sure. One of ’em apparently has a dad who’s running for office. The other gal, I think it was Melissa, was like, I’ll get kicked out of law school and my mother will kill herself anyway. That’s their excuse. And so Callie’s like, well, if we just lie about this. And tell a story, we’ll save everybody and our skin and, and we’re just gonna have to live with the note.

You know that for the rest of our lives. 

Craig: And it’s so typical. It’s, it’s, I know what you did last summer. It’s like, oh, we, we can’t let this ruin our lives. It was an accident. Whatever. Well, okay, whatever. But they make up this whole story and then they like. Draw letters out of a Scrabble bag to decide who will be the one that was assaulted and Holly.

Wins or loses depending on how you look at it. So they kind of beat her up, like they hit her and they use the guy’s nails to scratch her, I feel like. 

Todd: Yeah. They tear some hair out and put it in between his fingers. So it’s like he grabbed her hair. 

Craig: Yeah. And then she. Goes into the room and takes his hand and sticks his fingers in her badge.

And from this point on, I’m like, what? Right? Like different things happen, like they feel like they need to change the story depending on what is happening. And I’m like, how are you gonna change this? Her DNA is all over him. 

Todd: Yeah, that’s true. That’s a very good point. 

Craig: It was gross. It was disgusting. 

Todd: It’s too far.

They, she didn’t need to go that far. I mean, like, no. So the guy broke in. He tried to assault me. Maybe he grabbed her hair. Okay. You want to throw a whisper? Two of hair and his fingers fine. Sure. You don’t have to do the scratch. You don’t have to stick his fingers in your, like, he got that far. Like, come on.

Come on. Anyway. But it’s supposed to be shocking because after, as she does it in the background, we can see his eyes are open and they weren’t before. So we can see that he’s actually still alive and sure enough, while they’re working themselves up, I actually like this bit, I did too, how they’re working themselves up to call 9 1 1.

Yeah, that was really cool. I liked that. Mm-hmm. They’re in the 

Craig: middle of doing that. Yeah. They’re, and, and like, they’re like, they’re trying to. Work up their breathing. So it sounds like they’re breathing hard and mm-hmm. They’re rehearsing what they’re going to say. I actually liked that too. That was kind of smart of them actually.

Even though all of them are horrible people. Yeah. Really we, you could argue some more so than other. But I mean, if you’re on board with this at this point, you’re pretty horrible. That’s true. I mean, like that’s the thing, like how do you root for these people? They are trying to cover up the fact that they broke into a house by not only fine accidentally.

Murdering somebody, but then trying to set him up to be a rapist. A rapist, yeah. And at some point they even say that he has like a, a wife and at least a kid, if not kids. I don’t know how they find that out, but they do say that at some point. Like, you’re all terrible. So yeah. I don’t really feel for any of you.

Todd: You’re gonna ruin his reputation. Yes. Yeah. This could have easily just been called an accident. I mean, honestly, you 

Craig: call nine and, and especially, especially at this point, they find out after they’ve done all this and they are practicing their 9 1 1 call, they hear him from the other room. He is not dead.

Yes, he is paralyzed, which is. Horrible. Yeah, but he is not dead, and they could just call 9 1 1 and say It was a terrible accident. Aside from the fact that he’s like, why did you stick my fingers in your.

Todd: He does ask that. I don’t know what was going on there, but, oh God. So he’s pleading for help. He gives his name, he says, I’m Arthur, I’m the groundskeeper. And he is like, I’ll never tell a sole about this. I just need an ambulance. Please give me an ambulance. They just wait. Cali’s a real bitch actually. But these other girls are no better ’cause they really just go along with it.

There’s a, a small amount of pushback and then there’s none. 

Clip: Why don’t we, why don’t we just like wait for a little bit? I mean, he’s in really bad shape, right? What if we just didn’t help him? Maybe everything would, would just kind of work itself out. It’s the same thing as going in there right now and killing him.

No. No, it’s not, not really. How is it not? Look, we thought we killed him before and we were prepared to deal with it. So what’s the difference if he wakes up for a couple minutes and then dies? It’s the exact same thing as him falling down the stairs and being alive for a couple seconds. Only it’s like a little bit longer.

Craig: Yeah, he would’ve died anyway, so let’s just wait. So they do? Yeah, they just hang 

Clip: out. They hang. 

Craig: Like they just 

Clip: fucking 

Craig: hang out for a while waiting for him to die, but he doesn’t. And then Ben, who they knew was coming. Shows up. It’s frustrating. It was a frustrating thing. Yeah. 

Todd: Then you’re, they do the thing you’re never supposed to do with like a person with a broken neck.

Drag him into another room. 

Craig: Well, especially if you’re trying to cover up a crime, like there’s not gonna be any covering up of that. No. Later they’re like, we’ll, just put him back where he was and nobody will know any different. No, it’s not, not word. Single episode of CSI. Like, that’s how this works. 

Todd: They were smart enough to do all the DNA stuff, not smart enough to, to do that.

Well, they didn’t have to let Ben in. That’s the thing. They didn’t even have to answer the door. They could just wait out Ben, just like they were waiting this guy out. 

Craig: I have in my notes, he shows up. He’s there for one of the other girls. I don’t remember which one. Holly. Holly. Holly. But Cali’s, like, I’ll go get rid of him and she goes to talk to him, which makes no goddamn sense.

Like she barely does she know him, but at all, I don’t know, like why would she go? I was actually thinking that she was going go and maybe try to blame. Yes. One of the other girls. For what was going on. But she doesn’t. 

Todd: She doesn’t, and, and Holly’s left in the room with the body for some reason, but. But I don’t understand what she says to Ben.

So when she answers the door, Callie goes, we know what you did. And Ben’s like, what are you talking about? And at this moment I thought, oh, is she trying to set him up for this? Right, right. Somehow for this death. But no, she says like, we know you cheated on her. And what? I’m like, what is she doing here?

And he’s like, now I never cheated what’s going on? And so. It. Now it looks like she’s trying to stir up some animosity between Ben and Holly. I guess I don’t understand this because then she just disappears. Ben comes in, seems to surmise that Holly is in the other room. Behind the door, and he bangs on the door.

He is like, Holly, Holly, I, I swear, whatever She, what? She said, it’s not true. I didn’t cheat on you. And they have this kind of argument through the door, oh, I didn’t get this at all. I just didn’t get it all. 

Craig: I think that she was just throwing out whatever, like, mm, I don’t know. He’s a man. So he’s probably cheated at some point.

Like, well, we know what you did. What, um, you cheated? I, I feel like she was like, she was just throwing something out there, but. It was stupid. It wasn’t good writing. It was a device and, and like it was a device, and I’m talking a lot of shit about this movie. It’s not terrible. It’s just so typical. I feel like I’ve seen this movie a hundred other times and 75 of those times it’s been better and better written.

Like the writing is, it’s just dumb at some points. Yeah. Uh, it 

Todd: really is anyway. 

Craig: Yeah, it doesn’t come across as dumb as dumb. It’s not 

Todd: amateur, 

Craig: quote unquote, so bad. It’s good, and it’s not amateur. It’s, it’s well filmed and thank god they only filmed an hour and or edited it. God bless this editor who edited it down to an hour and 15 minutes.

Because it should not be any longer than that, but it’s certainly not gonna be the worst thing you’ve ever seen. No, it’s fine. Yeah, it’s fine. Yeah. The actors do a fine job. The cinematography is fine. It’s nothing special, but it’s all right. We have seen way worse. It’s just frustrating when you’ve seen it a million times and then they throw in these.

Stupid. The whole Ben thing is stupid. Like, 

Clip: yeah, 

Craig: they threw it in at the beginning. Like, oh, she keeps getting calls from Ben and like, oh, can Ben come over? Like, okay, well obviously Ben is gonna show up at some point, and he does. And. The way that it’s handled is just dumb. Like yeah, I’ve seen it a bazillion times.

Todd: Well, he’s really just there to distract Ollie from the body. So while Holly is still in the same room with the body, but that’s a big room up against the door. I don’t know. Somehow distressed about. Ben and talking with him. The guy who’s on the floor is, is awake again and he has somehow using his mouth mm-hmm.

To pull on a tassel that is hanging from 

Craig: a tablecloth. 

Todd: Tablecloth. Yeah. I don’t, I don’t, by the way, I don’t think this would be physically possible unless you could lift your head. But he ends up with just his mouth pulling on that tassel enough. Ben just leaves. Right. Does he just leave? Whatever happens to Ben?

I don’t even remember. I don’t 

Craig: remember. I have in my notes hurt guy tries to pull off tablecloth, but it’s too late for Ben. And then Callie says she’ll kill him. I would chastise, chastise, excuse me, my students for saying who is him? Pronouns require a clear antecedent. I don’t know who she’s talking about.

Callie says she’ll kill him. Holly says they. Okay, so Holly says they should turn themselves in. Okay. And then like they have a big fight. Like the girls all fight. The other girl I feel like is entirely unimportant. Yeah. She barely talks. No, she barely talks. She’s just there all the time and they have a big fight and they’re like, we should turn ourselves in.

And Callie disagrees and the other two girls are like, no, we should do it. And, and Callie’s like, okay, but I have to pee or something. 

Todd: Meanwhile, yeah. Oh my god, Holly and Melissa have the dumbest scene. It’s that classic. We’ve need to kill time and we’re trying to make these characters human and they’re like, oh, I wish we were just back at the house.

Oh, right. Remember how comfortable it was back at the house? 

Clip: I wish we just go back to when we were just having fun. Oh, and remember dad’s sunglasses? Oh ha. Had sunglasses. Oh, he wears those because he is smoking pot. He didn’t want us to know off. 

Craig: Oh my 

Clip: God. 

Craig: I was rolling my eyes and they have that dumb conversation and they’re like, where’s.

Callie, that’s weird. And they’re like, holy shit. And they run in and Callie is murdering the guy. 

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: she’s smothering him and he is dead. 

Todd: There is an obvious call out to the Shining here. That’s ugh. I don’t mind people stealing shots from movies, but this is a movie that had no style really. And then suddenly is pulling a very stylistic shot out from The Shining where she’s like, you know where Jack Nicholson is banging on the door?

Mm-hmm. Trying to get into the bathroom. Mm-hmm. And it’s from below banging on the door trying to get in. Callie is asphyxiated the guy, and finally they get in and he’s dead. 

Craig: He’s dead. And Holly slaps her is like, you’re a murderer. Like they haven’t all been in on this the whole time. Right? Uh, the other girl who has been inconsequential throughout is kind of okay with it.

And, and she’s like, yeah. They’re like, we should hold a vote. Do we tell the truth or do we lie? And Callie. Not, not Callie, the, not the one who killed her, but the other girl, Holly, yeah. Is like, here’s what we’re voting on. We tell the truth and we say that Callie murdered him, or we lie and Mel’s like, Hmm.

Let’s lie.

Oh God. And then, and this is what always happens, not always, but so often, like when people are trying to cover up a secret in these type of movies, eventually they turn on each other. And I don’t know, Holly runs for the phone, but Callie knocks her out. And when Holly wakes up, she’s tied up. And Callie makes up a whole story.

This was interesting to me. We get to see, as Callie narrates this story, we get to see it. She makes up a story where the guy that they killed. Killed Holly and then they killed him and they’re gonna go with that story. So then they, he’s already dead and they beat him to oblivion. Now, I don’t watch these crime shows that often, but I’ve seen them enough to know that the forensics people can tell if somebody has been beaten.

After they’ve been killed. Like it’s different, 

Todd: right? It is, yeah. It’s something about the blood sits in the veins instead of is actively flowing and so when they’re beat, like the bruise are different. These 

Craig: girls are just stupid plus, ugh. I don’t know. I mean, I guess their story maybe could have worked, but, 

Todd: but you’re gonna kill your friend.

You are gonna kill your friend for this new story. 

Craig: That’s a good, that’s a good question. Like if your life, if your very life and livelihood was threatened, like something happened, you didn’t mean to, but it was really your fault and somebody’s gonna expose you for it. And you think you could get away with it if it were not, but for that, what would you do?

Todd: I just think they could come up with a better story, you know? 

Craig: Yeah. But the other girl’s gonna tell she’s gonna tell the truth. Yeah. She’s 

Todd: already said she’s gonna tell. So they’re gonna kill her now. 

Craig: Yeah. I 

Todd: mean, I 

Craig: don’t 

Todd: know. I couldn’t kill somebody. I just didn’t feel like. These, you could kill somebody.

No, I couldn’t, I 

Craig: couldn’t kill somebody. 

Todd: I, I, I couldn’t. I just, I, I don’t buy that. Callie is so horrible that she would not bat an eye. At killing her friend, right? No, no. Up to this point. Everything that she said, you know, like, well the guy did fall down, he did break his neck. They did. You know, they come up with the story.

Alright, so he is incapacitated. Nothing you can do about that. Waiting it out is really super cruel. That’s when she should have come up with the idea of just beating the hell out of him and. You know? Right, right. Pretending that it, whatever, but that she didn’t think of it fine. But all, all of this stuff, I could kind of see Callie being cruel enough and being able to justify it by, ah, he’s already pretty much dead anyway.

Paul: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: But this whole on of like, right. I’m gonna kill my friend, and then I’m gonna have a witness to it. 

Craig: Right. 

Todd: Who also needs to keep her mouth shut? Huh? I, I just don’t buy it. 

Craig: But that’s ultimately what the other girls do, isn’t it? Like 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: I, I feel like Holly somehow gets free 

Todd: from that glass, that broken glass.

Yep. Mm-hmm. 

Craig: And, and, and kills Callie, right? Like she, 

Todd: yep. 

Craig: Beats her over the head or something. I know. Yeah. With that table 

Todd: leg, 

Craig: she was bad. Like she screams and they kill Callie or she kills Callie. And then does it cut too much later? And like me and Holly are on the. Speech. 

Todd: Well, they have their story first.

They’re like, all right, so now we’re gonna change the story and we’re gonna make her the hero. Right? On paper. I think this sounded clever. You know what I mean? 

Craig: I do like this on paper. Yeah. 

Todd: Yeah. It’s just a little sloppy. It doesn’t kind of work in real life, but they’re like, we’re gonna make her the hero.

This guy broke in. He tried to rape me, 

Craig: Callie. They’re gonna make Callie the hero. 

Todd: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m sorry. Yeah. They’re gonna make Catley the hero. This guy broke in, he tried to rape me. He beat Callie, and we managed to turn on him and beat the pulp outta him. 

Craig: I a, again, in my notes in parentheses, I made a point to put it in parentheses, the times of their stories wouldn’t make up.

Or wouldn’t match up. Like if any forensic investigator looked this up, they would be able to determine time of death. They would be able to know that this guy was beaten after he was killed. I don’t know why I was so concerned. With this in this dumb movie, but I think it was just because every time they were trying to establish a motive, I was like, no.

I have seen CSI, this motive is not gonna work. 

Todd: Well, to be fair, it doesn’t have to make sense in order for the girls to have the idea. No. You know? Right. They, they can be ignorant. You, but they do get away. 

Craig: They do get away with it. The two girls end up on a beach. 

Todd: The fact that they get away with it is crazy.

Craig: It’s fine. I mean, I, I guess. You know, they just eliminated their sociopathic friend who cared not about anything, the lives of other human beings, but still, they killed a couple people. Yeah. And then, and then Silent Night plays to remind you that this is a Christmas movie and to remind us. That this is a Christmas movie and that’s why we chose it.

Merry Christmas.

Todd: It’s like we just pulled a lump of coal out of the stocking. Oh, 

Craig: I have seen worse. I have seen way worse. Yeah. I have put on movies on Tubi or on any other free streaming services that were far worse than I’ve turned them off. ’cause I’m like, I can’t watch this. It’s. Terrible. I wouldn’t have done that with this movie.

It’s fine. It’s. Fine, but that’s the best review that I can give it. It’s fine. 

Todd: There’s nothing, they’re groundbreaking here. There’s nothing particularly compelling here. You know, I was just disappointed. There wasn’t more of a twist. It’s like these girls have the, the same conversation three times. What are we gonna do?

Oh, we’re gonna pretend that he’s dead. What are we gonna do? Oh, well, you know, we’re gonna wait out that he’s dead. What are we gonna do? Oh, we’re gonna move him to this other room and we’re gonna stage this thing. What are we gonna, I mean, it, it, there wasn’t like. Enough of a complication. You know, these movies really need like strong complicating factors.

Mm-hmm. You know, not just this basic Ben, I don’t know, Ben might show 

Craig: up, right? Moving a guy around. 

Todd: Ben might show up. Is it, you know, I was basically it. Ben Mo might show up and I’m gonna tell, 

Craig: yeah. 

Todd: Those are the two big complicating factors and they’re boring. 

Craig: It’s only an hour and 15 minutes. Yeah. I applaud movies that know when they should only be an hour and 15 minutes.

Todd: Could have been an hour, 

Craig: could have or a half an hour, frankly, 

Todd: could have been a half hour. Again, I mean, the, with the, with as much content as was in here, you could have easily trimmed it down with Tales from the Crypt episode. 

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. For sure, for sure. 

Todd: Cut out the 20 minutes of the girls. In the beginning that didn’t go anywhere and didn’t give us any more information, except just show some girls having a good time.

Right? Cut that down to five minutes. Have the thing happen, have the girls have their three conversations, the two dumb little extenuating circumstances. And then by then you haven’t invested so much in the movie that this little sort of twist that, oh, we’re gonna actually make the bad girl into a hero in order to save our asses, 

Clip: would’ve felt a little 

Todd: more.

Twisty, I guess. I don’t know. Yeah. I mean, I can’t imagine anybody listening to us talking about this, wanting to run out and watch this movie. I mean, but so I I I’m not gonna recommend it 

Craig: if you don’t have anything else to watch. Yeah. Right. Like, I’m 

Todd: not gonna recommend it. No. There are dozens of other movies.

Yeah. Following a similar premise that are way more fun, 

Craig: or it’s Christmas time. There are so many good Christmas movies to watch, watch Christmas Vacation, or CROs, or a Christmas story, or a hundred other movies that I have on my list. Terrifying to watch this season.

Todd: Well, one nices little Christmas gift that we have for you is that we received another message from one of our oh fans. Would you like to hear it? 

Paul: I would like to hear it. Hey guys, it’s Paul from Alabama. Just wanting to say I appreciate everything y’all do. Your product’s fantastic. Y’all have kept me entertained for years.

I’ve loved pretty much all the episodes. Um, there’s been a few y’all suggested and I appreciate the shout outs. Uh, what, what’s funny, I, the funniest episode, man, I, I don’t know, I don’t know about the funniest episodes. I do love when Craig does the voices and Tyler tries to sing. Y’all just don’t know how much entertainment that is for us, that everything he’s done and, uh, keep up the good work.

I really thank y’all so much. Still listening every day from Alabama’s Paul signing off. 

Todd: Tries to sing. All right, thanks Paul. It’s pretty accurate though.

I love when you do the voices too, Craig. That’s really quite nice. 

Craig: I know. I feel like there’s a common thread. Like I am the funny one. Oh, wow. 

Todd: Looks aren’t everything, buddy. Looks, aren’t everything.

I, uh, I, I’m, I’m impressed that Paul listens every day. That’s great. Me too. Yeah. Yeah. That’s 

Craig: Paul. Thank you so much. That’s thanks. That’s so nice. And every time we hear those messages, I’m just so humbled and we hear from different people from different parts of America and different parts of the world and it just blows me away.

Lots of different people. It, it really. It makes me happy. I’m, I might cry about it.

Todd: Oh God, I, I, yeah. It’s, it’s a blast. Thank you, Paul. Thank you so much for that message. If you are so compelled to leave a message as well, just go to our website, chainsaw horror.com, click on talk to us, and, uh, you don’t need any special software. It just happens right there in your browser or on your phone, whatever you’re using to browse the website and the minute you record it up to 90 seconds, I think it’ll just.

Ship it right off to us and we will play it on air. Thank you so much Paul, and thank you guys all there out there listening. We really hope to bring you three much better holiday movies. We’ll see. I mean, it’s fun to talk about the movie, whether it’s good or bad. Yeah, I mean, yeah, no promises. No promises we 

Craig: haven’t picked.

Todd: There are a surprise to us as they are to you, but uh, if you have suggestions, now’s the time to submit them. I suppose patrons, 

Craig: especially because. We may have recorded two or three more episodes before they actually come out. That’s true. That’s one of the benefits of being a patron. Todd posts these unedited versions of our conversations almost right away, so if you come over to our Patreon site, you’ll get to hear them and you’ll have more opportunity to vote and participate in that kind of discussion.

Todd: That’s true. By the time you hear this on our regular thing, it might be too late. Yeah, yeah. We do. We do record a bit in advance at at times. We thank you so much for listening, whether you’re a patron or whether you’re just a longtime listener like Paul. Well, thank you so much for listening to us and the best thing you can do.

Is share us with a friend. Send us the way of the, your, your horror friends, your friends who just enjoy having a good conversation. But we have a newsletter also. You can send them to that. Also available drive through on our website. That’s weekly and it just, it gives you a little bit of horror news every week.

Uh, it tells you what we’ve got coming up in the podcast, what’s happening with the patrons. We, I think that’s worthwhile. Check it out. Always, you can find [email protected] or just by searching two guys in a chainsaw podcast. Get to in touch with us through social media and we’d love to hear from you.

Until next time, I’m Todd. And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

Happy Thanksgiving! This week, we’re diving into the 2008 horror-comedy, ‘Thankskilling.’

Join us as we dissect this intentionally bad, yet oddly endearing film featuring a killer turkey on a rampage. From bizarre animated sequences to hilarious one-liners, ‘Thankskilling’ offers a unique blend of low-budget charm and absurdity.

We discuss the film’s most memorable moments, its cult status, and why it might just be the perfect movie for a goofy Thanksgiving gathering with friends. Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comments; we love hearing from you all!

Episode 466, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Happy Thanksgiving. Craig, 

Craig: happy Thanksgiving to you. It really snuck up, didn’t it? It sure did. I don’t know if that’s a result of us getting older or there’s just so much going on in the world that, you know, you’re constantly berated with news and information, but it, it really.

Snuck up. But yeah, I’m grateful that it’s here. I’m grateful to have a few days off this week, and then Christmas break is 

Todd: right around the corner. Really, that’s what’s really sneaking up is Christmas. I mean, Thanksgiving is the harbinger of that, but I’m recording this from a Airbnb in Thailand. I’m in a different place now than I was a few months ago.

I, I tell you, I’m feeling, I’m feeling like a, like 180 degrees. In the opposite direction. Just energized, really happy. Well, I’m glad to hear it. So I’m very thankful. I’m glad we’re celebrating Thanksgiving and where I was actually kind of going with that was one thing that surprised me being here is there is fricking Christmas decorations everywhere.

Oh. Isn’t a shopping mall. There’s a big display. There are kids playing in fake snow down in the lobby of the A condo I’m staying in right now. There’s a Christmas tree and Merry Christmas shit on the walls. I’m like, is it that time already? No, 

Craig: it’s nuts here in the states too. I don’t know if it’s. I don’t know what it’s because of, I have some theories, but the day after Halloween was over, I was walking the dog and Christmas trees, Christmas lights.

It used to be that people waited until the day after Thanksgiving, but that’s just not the case anymore. We just right around here anyway, in the Midwest, people go right from. Halloween to Christmas and it’s wild. Crazy. We haven’t jumped on that train yet. We probably will at some point because Christmas is Alan’s favorite.

You know, if it were up to him, we would just, oh, celebrate Christmas all the year round. But even he is like, no, we have to at least wait until after Thanksgiving’s over. Well, that’s nice. Yeah. It’s It’s wild. It is wild. Yeah. People are already in the mood. One of my theories, I don’t mind saying it, is, I think that there’s a lot of.

Ugly and sad and scary things going on in the world. Mm. And Christmas makes people happy. You know, the Christmas tree, the lights, the decorations. 

Todd: Mm. It makes 

Craig: people happy. 

Todd: We just wanna get to it sooner. 

Craig: Yeah. Well not even necessarily get to it sooner, but it gives them some respite from the ugliness of the world.

And if people want to hang. Keep your Christmas tree up all year round. If it makes you happy, like yeah, I am certainly not gonna judge. We all have to find. Things that make us happy. Indeed, we do 

Todd: Thanksgiving. Oh boy. Thanksgiving. So, uh, happy Thanksgiving, Craig. 

I’m trying to, yeah, I’m, I know, I know. 

Craig: I, I’m trying, I’m trying to get to it too.

I don’t know why I’m trying to get to it so quickly because I feel like we could talk about this movie in five. Minutes, 

Todd: five minutes. It will not, this might be our shortest episode ever. We said it before, it might be, but this might, it might actually be the case this time. 

Craig: We’ve been doing Thanksgiving films for 15 years or however long we’ve been doing this.

Not quite 10, 10, 11. I’m sorry. I was gonna say this year it just, uh, it almost got away from us. You’ve been very busy. I’ve had things going on. We’ve had things planned and we’ve had to, you know, kind of move the schedule around several times and Thanksgiving just never came up. And I feel like you texted me a couple days ago and you’re like, oh, the movie we thought we were gonna do, we’re not ready to do yet.

What should we do? And I suggested something, but then I was like, wait, should we do a Thanksgiving movie? And you said, thanks, killing. And I feel like you’ve been bringing this up for years. It’s just on our list every year. 

Todd: Every year you mention it, I put it on the list, but I have been putting it off because I knew this was gonna be.

Like trauma level bad. Mm-hmm. So I just, and don’t get me wrong, I love trauma. I know level bad. The problem is this is not trauma level, this is sub trauma. Trauma is, trauma is cute and fun and charming. I don’t know, it’s hard for me to, it’s just self-aware. Bad. Yeah. Yeah. And uh, a lot of times that is just dumb.

Somehow with trauma movies, the Dumbness is, gets transcended by some other quality that I can’t pinpoint, but it, they’re just, they’re fun because of it. There’s like a punk aesthetic about it. 

Craig: Yeah. I would argue that in trauma movies, as stupid as they are and they are stupid, there’s something smart behind the writing of them.

Like, yes, the writers. Get what they’re doing and they’re making good jokes or good visual jokes or whatever. I don’t know, it just seems like there’s more behind it. Now I’m gonna defend this movie. I almost texted you while I was watching it. I didn’t know if you had seen it yet or not, but I almost texted you while I was watching it to say, I get that this is intentionally bad.

Yeah. But boy oh boy. Like, yeah. Ugh. At the same time, and I hope you know more about it than I do, because I really don’t know a lot about it. I know that it was shot on like a budget of hundreds of dollars. Like we’re not talking about a big budget thing. I’m shocked. I think these kids who made the movie were in school like this would be comparable.

And like, excuse me, I don’t be offended by the comparison, but I would say that this would be comparable to the kinds of movies that you may have been making in college. 

Todd: A hundred percent. 

Craig: I was never a part of those, but I, there were other people that were making student films on campus that I was a part of.

And this made me think of that. It’s dumb. It’s not going to be good. Like I don’t consider myself a good actor, but I know that in whatever was filmed of me in that student film that I did was just abs. It was terrible. So I’m trying to come at it from the perspective of it is what it is. Right. And thank God it’s only an hour and 10 minutes long, 

Todd: actually.

Yes. If this movie had tried to fill time. It would’ve been insufferable. And I think that’s to their credit, that they followed their story in a way. The story, the story’s actually pretty tight when you look at it. Yeah, it’s fine. It moves. There’s always something mildly interesting happening. In fact, part of the problem is maybe it moves too quickly.

It just, it’s quite jumpy at at moments. But again, like you say, they are not just self-aware, but they set out to be like, let’s make a really dumb, really bad movie with bad jokes and bad acting and call it parody. Sometimes that works and sometimes you’re trying too hard and I. Think this. I’m not gonna go so far as to say that this.

Fails. But I would say it’s riding the line for me. It’s really riding the line between Oh, okay guys. Come on. And, huh. You know, it’s kind of funny, you know, I, I, I, I dug, I, I dig that. I, I see what they’re going for. I mean, I’m not gonna like gaw at it, but, uh, it’s cute, it’s 

Craig: stupid. And it came out in 2008, you know, I don’t know what audience they were targeting.

Probably their friends. Yeah. And, you know what I mean? It’s fun. Themselves, you know? Yeah. I mean, just having a good time and I can appreciate that. I didn’t particularly enjoy it, but I am an old man, so my review of it is skewed if, if nothing else. But I did appreciate the ambition. 

Clip: Yeah. 

Craig: You know, to throw that word around loosely, I, I don’t think that they were super ambitious, but they wanted to do something.

Did it and good for you. Right. Honestly, I, I didn’t hate it. I really didn’t because I could appreciate it. I could see this looks like some people having a good time doing something fun and it’s fun and stupid and it doesn’t take itself seriously at all. And it’s not trying to get me to take it seriously at all.

Yeah. It’s just a dumb, stupid thing. And that’s fine. 

Todd: To be honest, that maybe saves it. Yeah. You know, is that it doesn’t demand a lot from us. 

Craig: No, 

Todd: no. And I think that helps. Like it helps a lot. I was not taxed watching this movie. No. Like I have been, you know, for some dumb movies that we watch, I’m quite taxed, you know, I’m like, oh god, these people want me to take it seriously.

What’s going on here? 

Craig: Well, it’s funny because it would be probably a really funny 62nd SNL sketch, 

Todd: right? You 

Craig: know, this. Ridiculous puppet, killer Turkey on Thanksgiving attacking people, celebrating Thanksgiving. The concept is funny. Yeah. But there’s a reason that those sketches are, you know, three minutes, four minutes long.

Yeah. It’s, it’s rare. It’s not. Impossible, but it’s rare that you can stretch out that material into a full feature. Well, and this arguably, I would say that this really is a series of sketches, basically with a killer Turkey in it, and there’s a through line, but it’s all about the. Jokes. And the absurdity.

And the absurdity. And dropping. Funny lines. Funny lines that arguably I found very funny, but I don’t need an 

Todd: hour of it. I, now that I’m thinking about it now that you kind of mentioned that, I think what saves the movie and kept it from being totally insufferable was that they didn’t try to do the same thing over and over and over again.

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: The first time the Turkey kills somebody, it’s. Quite ridiculous and surprising that somehow there’s an ax involved or a hatchet or whatever. Like yeah, what? Like the movie literally opens. With a closeup on a nipple. 

Craig: The bouncing boobs. I know. And I thought you were gonna be a huge fan of this movie.

I’m like, oh great. It’s gonna be a Todd movie. I was a huge fan of the first five minutes. It’s, it’s so funny ’cause it opens up with text that says the year is 1621. The olden days, moments after the very first Thanksgiving. And then it’s just a full screen of. Tits and it pulls out so that you see that it’s pilgrim tits.

There’s no explanation for why her tits are out. Right? Like it’s just not at all like as though as though the pilgrims just went to Thanksgiving dinner with their tits out, but she’s running through the woods. Oh man. What I was gonna ask you was if you knew anything about this woman, I think her name is Wanda Lust.

Todd: I love, is that your name? I love how you assume. You know, not without reason that I might know something about a porn actress. No, I have never heard of this woman. I mean, to 2008, you know, where was I in 2008? I was quite busy in Kirksville putting a building together, I guess. But you know, I’m sure she’s, she had been in the business for a while, since then.

I assume she was one of these internet porn actresses. I don’t think she was one of these who was in movies that you know 

Craig: well, they cast her off Craigslist, so, 

Todd: yeah. And she was the only paid person in this, right. Oh, I don’t know. Yeah, she was the only person who was actually paid, which is ironic on like two different levels because the only person paid in this movie was a porn actress whose boob mostly her boobs.

Are in it for the first five minutes, and that’s a gag. Big natural boobs. Yeah, they’re beautiful. Impressed. Yeah. And that’s a gag, you know? That’s fine. Especially if you’re trying to make a quote unquote, typical horror movie and you’re spoofing it or whatnot. Sure, sure. But it’s almost like the most unnecessary thing to pay for.

Like boobs should be the cheapest thing, you know? Who is it? One of my favorite. One of my favorite. Jim Wy Norski. One of his greatest, uh, quotes that I always remember is he says, breasts are the cheapest special effect we have. That’s funny. And I thought you, of all the things you had to cast off a Craigslist, it was the boobs.

Well, I wonder, very few films have this level of care, let me just put it that way. Towards their boobs casting, 

Craig: I had, I had wondered if they hired her as a name. You know, like these low budget films often. Oh right. Try to, will try to get. Either a porn star who has a big name, or somebody in the horror industry who has a big name to cameo, and they’ll throw a little bit of money at them.

And of course, you know these people, they have to work. I mean, this girl was, yeah. Advertising on Craigslist or whatever. I don’t know. I did read something that said that. She said that of all the things that she’s done on film, this was the thing that she was most embarrassed about. 

Todd: Yeah, that is I, I believe it.

Because that’s the other level of irony to this. The one actor that they paid in this movie, I would say, is the worst actor in the entire film. She can’t even get a scared expression on her face. She’s just kind of running through the woods and she just looks puzzled and she’s not even trying to run.

It’s. Sad, and this is the way you open your movie. I mean, if it weren’t for the boobs, well absolutely. Most people would’ve turned it off by now. Like really? Like after two minutes seeing the degree of acting here, it was really that bad. I 

Craig: actually think that it sets the tone, like this tells you what kind of movie you’re getting into because yeah, she’s just a, a porn actress with her boobs out running.

Through what is probably the trees at the back of a parking lot or somebody’s backyard. Yeah, yeah. Right. And this, and you get like a POV, which ends up being the Turkey, POV, like chasing her and then it kills her. I don’t even remember how it kills her with Turkey. A hatchet. That’s right. You already said that.

And I was going to say like it doesn’t try to tell you how the Turkey is handling a hatchet, 

Todd: right? Or any of the other implements the Turkey ends up handling throughout this movie. 

Craig: No. You only ever see the Turkey kind of from. Halfway up and it’s just a silly Turkey puppet. I think that I read that the budget for the effects was like $300 or something for the whole movie, and it’s just this goofy, gross Turkey puppet, but it chases her down and it kills her.

You see, I think a shadow of it. Hacking her with a ax and then it goes nice tits bitch. It just has this like low like, I don’t know, like jersey or, yeah, just this low man’s voice. There’s nothing Turkey about it. It’s just no nice tits 

Todd: bitch. It’s. Honestly a little endearing and, and it would reminded me of some, but something I couldn’t remember.

I was trying to figure out who, maybe it was just kind of atypical, cartoonish type voice that, that they were going for, and I think it was the director’s voice. I think I was likening a little bit to sorority babes and slime ball orama. You know, the red one. Yeah. But not as much fun. Yeah. Not nearly as as well done as that one.

Yeah. Not as much fun. Yeah. That’s what we get. And you’re right, it sets this tone of goofiness, like a Turkey with a hatchet and the boobs and the really cheap effects. It sets it up so that you know right away if you’re gonna want continue watching this movie or not. Right. And I would 

Craig: have turned it off if, if we weren’t watching it for this, I would’ve turned it off.

Todd: Yeah, I would’ve too. This isn’t, this just isn’t my thing. It’s not so silly that it’s. Captivating or endearing. It’s like dumb, odd, silly. You could hope it might get better or you could hope it might 

Craig: get interesting. I usually save this for the end, but like normally I would say put it on at a gathering.

You know, there’s just, but there’s not really even enough going on that there’s fun things to see, like, 

Todd: yeah. Yeah. You’d have to be listening. 

Craig: Things come and go. 

Todd: Yeah, the dialogue, I don’t know. 

Craig: Then it immediately cuts to a college campus and it doesn’t give us an update on what the date it is. So I assume it’s just modern day and it introduces us to this cast of dumb dumbs, and they’re all.

Stupid, stupid stereotypes, which again, I get it. Yeah. They’re doing it on purpose. It’s not like they’re unaware of what they’re doing. Right. This is intentional and that’s fine. So there’s a big fact I, I hesitate to say that ’cause of all the people in this movie, he’s the guy that probably looks the most like me, but there’s a big fat guy named Billy, and then there’s a haw game.

Hot guy named Johnny and a nerd named Darren and the nice girl named Kristen and the dumb slut named Allie. Yeah, and I don’t know, they’re all what? Carpooling, I guess, to go home from college, except it seems like they all live in the same town. Yeah. I dunno what’s going on. I don’t know. It doesn’t make any sense.

It doesn’t matter, but like the whole movie is just made up. Most of my notes are just records of the stupid lines. Like Billy, the fat guy comes out 

Clip: Thanksgiving break. Yes, yes. Damn, Billy, show those puppies up. No, can see your nasty titties. I’m trying to get Allie to show her big old tig up. Yeah, bring break guys.

Let’s get wasted. Pull your shirt down, honey. It’s Thanksgiving, not tips giving. 

Craig: And that folks is what you’re gonna get for the rest of the movie. Yeah. Just dumb groaner lines. Not to say that I didn’t find them amusing. I found them amusing, but amusing in the way that like, you just roll your eyes like, oh boy.

Well, 

Todd: and the problem is it’s amusing in the way that it knows it’s suppo, it’s dumb, you know? So it’s like. Hey guys, laugh at this line that we wrote that is so stupid that we know you’re gonna laugh at it because it’s stupid. And a groaner. 

Craig: Yeah, right. 

Todd: There’s not a lot of earnestness behind it. It’s just, that’s kind of what it is.

And, and that’s fine. I don’t wanna sound like a grouch about it, you know? No me’s still silly fun lines, you know? And, and I 

Craig: unders, like I said, I, I, I feel like I started the podcast by saying I’m an old man. Old man there. There’s certainly an audience for this and that’s why I don’t wanna poo poh it too much because if you find this hilarious and you can sit around with your friends and laugh at this, kudos.

I love that. Like I, I know that there’s an audience for it, and there may have even been some time in my life where I would’ve been just tickled pink, but. It’s not 

Todd: now. 

Craig: I mean, 

Todd: dare I say, dare I say that maybe this movie was a little ahead of its time for like a flash, and then it very quickly became behind its time to the point where now we watch it and we’re like, I can see what they’re trying to do here.

But there’s so much that has done this so much more successfully, way better, even working with a really low budget and bad acting. 

Craig: You remember? Yeah. You remember things way better than I do. What was that movie? That was super low budget and scream claimed that they stole their idea and yeah. Um, they kept throwing cats.

Todd: Yeah, it’s, uh, don’t, don’t look in the woods or don’t, don’t look now, something like, something like, like that. 

Craig: Um, this reminds me of that. I mean, it really looks like this movie seems like they were having a good time making it. Celebrate that and the fact that there’s an audience for it and that there are people who like it.

I love that. I absolutely love it. I, it’s not something that I would choose, but taste is taste. It’s subjective. 

Clip: Yeah. Yeah. 

Craig: And, and I wouldn’t even, like if somebody was like, oh, I love this movie. I, I wouldn’t say, oh, well. Then you’re a big dumb dumb ’cause it’s stupid. No. I’d be like, that’s great. I’m glad you like it.

I see what they were trying to do. I’m glad you could find the humor in it. I’m a big stick in the mud. Yeah. Speaking of big sticks in the mud, there’s a, there’s a totem totem, which is unexplained. Doesn’t need to be, I suppose. Yeah, it 

doesn’t matter. I 

Craig: they, they got it at the dollar store. I’m sure they just needed something to revive.

And I actually thought this was maybe one of my favorite jokes in the movie, that they just have this random like. Literally like a miniature totem pole 

Todd: stuck into the ground, which has been there since 1600 something. Yeah. So it’s a couple hundred years old and looks like it was freshly painted at the factory yesterday.

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: And 

Craig: a dog, a Collie whose name I thought was Lassie, but it just rhymes with Lassie pees on it and wakes up. The Turkey. And I actually FI was amused by that because that’s one of my favorite parts of nightmare on Elm Street four when the dog pees on Freddy’s grave. Yeah. And it brings him back to life.

But anyway, so the 

Todd: Turkey wakes up, kills the dog. It does. And it kills the dog. Uh, with a, what did it kill it with? It wasn’t, its beat, I don’t remember. I don’t know. Anyway, and there’s this old man in the woods, and you know, the woods. All the trees are planted in lines, so you know that this woods is just like a park somewhere, right?

He goes to the dog, looks up at the sky, why? And now he’s our man. I don’t even know what his name is. I just called him Scraggly guy with a, with a rifle. Yeah. Hillbilly. Yeah, that’s what I call him. He’s our hillbilly. And so his. Role in the movie is the typical, now he’s going to hunt. Yeah. That, that guy in that movie?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. There’s always a guy like this in a movie where the Turkey killed his beloved dog, and so now he’s out hunting the Turkey. Right. That’s his life goal. And then he runs into the kids. That’s kind of what happens. So the kids meanwhile on the drive, the truck starts smoking and they’re stuck by the side of the road and good thing they had a whole bunch of tents in back there.

Yeah. I didn’t know they were planning on camping, but. They end up deciding, well, why don’t we just camp? ’cause it’s too late to fix the car, which apparently they’re able to fix on their own without help. They just needed to wait till morning to do it. I guess the light, I guess, I don’t know, nobody else drives by on this road anyway, so they decide to camp in the woods and in the woods.

Darren tells this story about. Is it before or after? No, this is when he tells the story. I can’t remember what he, why he’s motivated to tell the story. Is it because the old man jumps in there? Oh yeah. It’s 

Craig: no. As they’re walking to where they’re gonna set up their camp, he trips over something and it ends up being a sign like, oh yes, welcome to Berg, or something like that.

Todd: That’s 

Craig: right. You skipped it. It’s so unimportant. But I want to bring it up really quick. We get a little interstitial scene where there’s a sheriff. Who appears to be wearing like two false eyelashes on his lip that to look like a mustache. A mustache good. But his wife serves him coffee and he just says, this coffee tastes like shit.

And she’s like, oh my God, that’s ’cause I took a dump in it. And it shows the coffee pot with. Turds in it. And this scene, this scene is completely inconsequential. It means nothing. We never see this woman again, but just the camera showing us turds in the bottom of the coffee that he, oh my God, that’s the kind of movie that you’re getting into.

Yeah. And she’s like, I want a divorce. 

Todd: He is like, okay. She leaves and we don’t see her again. Oh, the crawler story. Oh God. I didn’t write it all down, but basically. There was a, a really, really powerful but really mean pilgrim who was taking women. And the whole story is told with this, it looks like flash animation from the early ages of the internet done up with these cartoons that.

They reminded me of something. They reminded me of the covers of the Jerky Boys CDs. I don’t know if you remember those, or Green Jelly, which or Green Jello, that Band Green Jello, which later had to change their name to Green Jelly. It’s that same art style. It’s an, it’s a kind of pop art style that looks like a graffiti as well.

Anyway, it’s like they took that and made ’em into flash images and. At the end of the day, the, there’s an Indian, native American Indian who’s very angry, this guy. And so he curses him and he curses a Turkey and decides that he’s gonna curse all white men through this Turkey. And so the Turkey. Goes around and destroys all pilgrims.

It’s really almost tasteless, illustrated. But yeah, I don’t have much, I know I, I don’t have much to say about it. I, I, I didn’t really even catch it all, to be honest with you. Like what the significance of this Indian guy, and I kind of 

Craig: enjoyed the animation just because it was. It’s, yeah, it was kind of goofy, a break from what we had been seeing.

And I do like animated sequences well and 

Todd: good for them. Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. I like animated sequences. 

Todd: You know, they did throw a few things like this in there. Yeah. Animated sequence. That’s kind fun’s. Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. And, but the, the. The Feather Cloud, the Indian was wronged not only just by somebody, but it also, it happens to be Billy, the hot guy’s ancestor.

We should also mention that I, I think that these, I think that these people are supposed to be in high school, but they are, they are well into their twenties at least. The guy daring, Johnny’s the hot guy. Johnny’s Johnny? I don’t know. Yeah, that’s right. I Billy’s the, I think I kept Oh, okay. Right, right, right.

I, I think it was then, I think it was Johnny’s ancestor. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: But, uh, like Darren is, his hairline looks like mine, and I imagine that this guy is significantly younger than me. He’s. Certainly not in high school. 

Todd: No, 

Craig: but this, this was, you know, the evil Turkey was created. 

Todd: I went crazy.

Craig: This is where hillbilly guy finds his dead dog and vows revenge, and I think he says, I’m gonna drink your bro luck, cranberry sauce, mani, or somebody says that, I don’t know, I just wrote down. All these dumb lines. All the kids are camping now and they’re just talking, and both of the girls are throwing themselves at the hot guy, and then something flies into the fire and they’re like, oh, it’s a dead bunny.

That’s weird. And somebody’s like, oh, this kind of stuff happens all the time in the woods. What? 

Like, what are you talking about? 

Todd: Oh boy. It, but nothing really comes of it. No. Darren looks at it and is like. That’s just not a buddy that’s been clearly been packed away at by a Turkey bee disempowered. 

Craig: Yeah.

They stay there through the night and the next morning Billy wakes up and the hillbilly is standing over him and he is like, that Turkey tried to kill you in the night. Look, there’s Turkey poop on your. Sleeping bag. 

Todd: Okay. Oh my gosh. So then, then they end up in the car. Yeah. And there is this dumbest dialogue sequence I’ve ever, I’ve ever seen in the movie.

And again, you’re right, I’m, I am absolutely certain that they intentionally wrote it that way, but. Yeah. Like Johnny’s going back, what’s going on, Billy? What’s wrong with you? And he’s like, Ugh. 

Clip: So you actually believe that there’s a real killer Turkey on the loose? What a loser. God. Well, I know it sounds crazy, but yeah, I woke up with Turkey douce all over me.

I think he was trying to kill me, but that old hermit saved me. 

Craig: You’re a freak, Billy a freak. But I believe your story. I’m not gonna say anything. 

Clip: Wow. I. Didn’t think that my story would have this much of an effect on you guys. I mean, you’re the cool kids, right? 

Todd: And then Johnny’s girlfriend turns to him is like, Johnny, I’m sorry about what I said last night.

I guess I was a little beaked out. I mean, freaked out Jesus Christ. 

Craig: Oh, I did laugh. They all leave the, the next morning, my favorite scene was. I guess the Turkey has to get around somehow. So he hitchhikes. 

Todd: Yes, he does. 

Craig: And this guy in a sedan pulls over and opens the door for the Turkey and says gas as or grass.

And I had to rewind it to, oh, 

Todd: because 

Craig: the next thing that happened, I was like, wait, wait. What’s happening And I had to rewind it. I know, right? And I had to rewind it. And I just thought that was the funniest thing. Like somebody picking up a hitchhiker saying gas ass or grass. That’s classic. Is it? I, I like, I wanted to write down like, is that a thing?

Like 

Todd: Yeah, it is a thing. It’s a thing from like the seventies. Yeah. Cash grass or ass. My god. Yeah. That’s, that’s, that’s how you pay. Oh my God. 

Craig: I had no idea. And the turkey’s like, well, I’m all outta gas. So ass, I guess. And then the Turkey gets into the car ass first and the guy’s looking at it, he’s like, that’s one tight ass.

And he starts to like. Open his pants and the turkey’s like, that’s not for you or anyone else. He turns around 

Todd: and kills the guy. Turns around with a rifle, suddenly the Turkey has a rifle. 

Craig: Oh, but it’s even better than that. Yes. He turns around with the rifles like. Call your kids or something 

Todd: like that.

He says, do you have a daughter? He is like, I do. He says, call her. And so he calls his daughter and as he’s on the phone with her, honey, I love you all. And then boom, the Turkey shoots him in the head, God, and hops in the driver’s seat and takes off in the car. This was so surreal and I, I actually, this was his trauma.

As this movie gets, yeah, you’re right. This scene was maybe the strongest scene in the whole movie. This scene really accomplished what they were trying to do. It was so bizarre. It was so out there. It was so crude. And shocking and it, you just didn’t know what was gonna happen from moment to moment. And yeah, we should stop talking about it from here on out.

Like the podcast is over this scene. That’s it. That’s the, is the best scene in the film and it never really reaches that again. No, it’s 

Craig: just silly at this point. Like I guess that they’ve all driven from their college to their hometown where they all live and they drop off Ally the slut and. For the second time, make the joke.

Her legs are harder to close than the JonBenet Ramsey case. Like the other girl had dropped that joke before and nobody had laughed at it, and so she just brought it back again and like this time they get it. Okay. 

Clip: Yeah. 

Craig: Oh God. And then Johnny goes home. But hi then Allie is that she invites some guy into her room and they’re.

Banging with all of their clothes on, which I, which I always find quaint. I mean, if you’re in a hurry and you’re at your parents’ house, I, you know, I don’t know. But the Turkey kills the guy that’s banging her and then takes over, and then when she realizes it. That was, oh my God, it was icky. It wasy. That was really icky.

But it’s so ridiculous. It’s so ridiculous that it’s difficult. I mean, yeah, assault is never funny, but this movie is placed in such a ridiculous place that, yeah, it’s just, oh, but the Turkey finishes off and says to her, you just got stuffed. Ugh.

Oh man. And then the Turkey goes over and hangs out with Kristen’s 

Todd: dad, who is the sheriff? This scene I liked. ’cause the gag is, and, and you know if in case you haven’t figured it out yet with the hitchhiker and whatnot, the gag is that they’re willing to just not bat an eye at this Turkey like that.

It’s Turkey. You know, the hitchhiker just pulls over, makes no comment that this thing is a Turkey. It’s just gonna offer him a ride. And so, right, it’s the middle of the night and I guess there’s still a stack of mail on the table. Dad wanders in for no good reason. Decides to go through the mail in the middle of the night, sees that he won something.

I did not understand this at all. 

Craig: I don’t know. 

Todd: And he ends up in a Turkey suit. The doorbell rings and he answers the door in a Turkey suit and he sees the Turkey and the turkey’s disguise is one of those, you know, it’s the glasses with the nose and the mustache on it. 

The 

Todd: Groucho 

Marx 

Todd: glasses. Oh my God.

Yeah. And they have like this with the big nose and the mustache. They have this whole conversation back and forth. The guy’s like, oh, get basically calls him a midget. Yes. At some point. Well, I didn’t know Kristen had a midget friend. Come on in. You want some coffee? And the trigger’s like, oh, okay. And then there’s this long.

Scene. You know, that’s a parody of one of those long, awkward scenes when somebody’s waiting for somebody. Usually it’s, you know, boyfriend waiting for the girlfriend to show up or something and has to sit down with the dad. Right, right. And it’s so surreal and so funny and goes on just a little too long to the point where it is funny.

I like this scene. Actually, this is one of my second favorite scenes in the movie. I think 

Craig: it was kind of funny, and the Turkey more than anything is just bored with the dad and tries to kind of get away. But eventually he kills the dad and then the kids all go to that house. Kristen’s dad’s house and Kristen knocks on the door like, isn’t this your house or your dad’s house?

Why are you knocking on the door? I don’t understand. But anyway, the Turkey answers the door wearing the dad’s face. Yes, and nobody. Including Kristen thinks anything of it. They’re like, she’s like, Hey dad. Like she has to bend down, bend down to knee level. Yeah. It’s just absolutely ridiculous. 

Todd: This is where, yeah, 

Craig: and it’s, it’s, it’s funny.

It is funny. It’s, I get it. I am in on the joke. This part I like, I think it’s. So ridiculous. Yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s funny. Whatever. Yeah. And then they, and then they do the horror movie research montage where they, there’s a very intense 

Todd: reading montage. Yeah. 

Craig: They find 

Todd: an old book. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And the whole thing is that they’ve got, the Turkey has a talisman on him hidden in his feathers that they’ve gotta get off.

But then once they do that, they have to recite some demon. Paragraph backwards. But in order to even learn that Darren has to solve some math equation that was in the book, it, it doesn’t make any sense. Yeah, of course not. It’s just, it’s just a, just parody. It’s like a kind of sloppy parody. Ugh. 

Craig: And then the Turkey shows up.

Yeah, like usually. Usually they would have to translate something from Latin. Yeah. But at some point in this book, it changes from English to mathematical equations. Yeah. To calculus. It’s like I can crack it 

Todd: English to calculus. That’s stupid. Yeah. So you know, the Turkey shows up and I don’t know, Billy puts him in a headlock.

Then they kind of wrestle with it and somebody ends up managing to to yank. Isn’t this where they end up managing to yank the towel? They get the to off and then the turkey’s like, I’m outta here bitches, and it runs off the Turkey just always does that. And, uh, y you know, 

Craig: Johnny and Kristen have a heart to heart that doesn’t have, doesn’t make any difference.

Yeah. And then Darren cracks the math code, which tells them that they have to burn the Turkey at the steak. But Billy is the, the heavyset one is so hungry that he just has to like, leave and wander around until the Turkey tempts him with like an animated. Turkey. He’s like, come eat me, Billy. And it’s like an animated roasted Turkey.

Yeah. And Billy eats the animated roasty, roasted Turkey, and then the killer Turkey bursts out of his chest. 

Clip: Dobble dobble, motherfucker. 

Craig: Now that’s 

Clip: what I call 

Craig: foul play. Okay. And then they all find him and Darren cries over Billy’s body for a while. Yeah. And they’re showing the effects, like, and it looks like they stuffed pantyhose.

Like they’re, it is not, they’re not even trying necessarily to make this look real or good. That’s not the point. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. The 

Craig: point is to be silly and stupid, but Darren cries over Billy. 

Clip: It’s not, even though I’m. Cool kids because of you. Because of you. I wanted to kill you. You’re my best friend. We’ve been good and bad times.

Good and bad times together, Billy. It’s not gonna end like this. There’s gonna be many more good times and we’re not gonna let there be a lot of bad. You’re my best friend. I wanna fucking killed a goddamn Turkey I fucking killed. 

Craig: And there’s an entire original. Song about how they’re best friends, and he’s so sad that the Turkey killed him.

Yeah, it was. I mean, at this point the movie’s almost over and I’m like, thank God. But I found that amusing. Yeah. I found the dreamy musical montage. Amusing. Yeah, that 

Todd: was amusing. And now the Turkey is making a tossed salad in its tent. Why? 

Craig: Yeah, it’s tossing a salad. Tossing a 

Todd: salad. Yeah. And then, um, love salad.

They, they break into the tent and they read a prayer. 

Craig: Well, it, this is hilarious too, because the kids, for some reason, they know that he lives in a teepee Yeah. In the park. And they go and they drive up right next to it. And it’s about, oh, maybe three feet tall and. Then when they go into it, it’s really big.

It’s, it’s, it’s, it’s like one of those tents out of Harry Potter where it’s a little tiny on the outside, and then you go inside and it’s like palatial. It’s hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. I, I found that very funny. That’s 

Todd: true. And then he read, they read the prayer and the trick is like, ah, ah, ah, yeah. And then Darren says, now he’s lost his invincibility power.

This was written by. 12-year-old and then, and then the turkey’s like, no way. I’m getting outta here. And then he runs out between them. But outside is the, is the hillbilly man with the Yeah, with the rifle. Says, not this time, asshole shoots the Turkey, and as he shoots it, the Turkey flies into what he calls a dumpster.

But it’s really just a big trash. A trash can. They’re like, but wait, we were supposed to kill it by burning it. Who knows what this will do? And they walk over to it and they look in, they’re like, well, it surely is dead. And Darren’s like, well, why don’t we go off and watch a movie? That sounds like fun.

Yeah. So 

Craig: they go back to, let’s go back to Kristen’s house and watch a movie. I don’t remember. I feel like the hillbilly said something like that. Turkey killed my dog. One of these days. Maybe you’ll know how I feel. Maybe when your mom or your dad or your best friend gets killed, then you’ll know how I feel.

Because all of these kids, yeah, and they go back to Kristen’s house. Jill, her father’s. Her father’s dead body is still in the house. Yeah. They’re all sitting on the couch together and Billy says like, well, today was pretty rough, but I learned a lot and I make great. I made great friends. 

Oh my God. He’s kind of glad that it happened.

Yeah. He got a girlfriend. 

Todd: I may have lost my parents, but I gained a girlfriend and she goes, g, g girlfriend do do you mean? And then they fall off screen and start making out. 

Craig: They start making out. And maybe I was imagining it, but I’m almost positive I heard a zipper come down. Yeah, probably like they’re, they’re just gonna bang there right in front of Darren.

Yeah. 

Todd: And he’s like, I gotta go pee now. So you know what’s gonna happen to him. Darren goes and pees, then he goes to the bed, to the kitchen, bends over. To look into the refrigerator and then ow. And he turns around and there’s a meat thermometer stuck in his butt. The Turkey is thrown his butt. And the Turkey, by the way, was thrown into, apparently there was radioactive waste inside of this, this trash can ’cause now he’s green and glowing.

Craig: Yeah, right. 

Todd: So he, uh, get knocked Darren to the floor and starts pecking out his heart. Throws his heart across the room. Darren’s dead. Then the others are far, are asleep. They made quick work of this. Let me tell you. They are asleep on the sofa in five minutes. Yes. Oh, Billy is Beck by the way. Billy is becking Darren to heaven, so that’s kind of cute.

There’s a whole sequence of that. That was cute. And Johnny goes into the kitchen, Johnny suddenly gets stabbed. And I wasn’t unc I was very unclear with what was happening here. It took me a while to figure out he was stabbed with one of those electric Turkey hats. Electric carvers, yeah. Yeah. Uhhuh. So, uh, you know, they kind of, um, push away the Turkey and she runs out with Johnny.

He was like, come on, come on. Don’t worry. Hold on, Johnny. You can do it. You can make it. I thought she was gonna take him to the car and try to take him to the hospital. She says. Let’s hide in that shack over there, which was a funny joke. Yeah. So you go into the shack and then she picks up, uh, now you still have that lighter that you had with you.

Yeah. You know where this is going. She gets a can of some aerosol and the Turkey comes in and she blasts it with the three flame thrower, roasting hell, asshole. Johnny dies. Turkey comes back up, she picks up a baseball bat. The Turkey is flaming by the way. Peck on some of your own size and hits him out of the shed and straight into a random pile of sticks set up like a pire that you would burn a witch on.

Yeah, 

Craig: right. 

Todd: That happens to be out. In the middle of the yard 

Craig: and he burns up and he says, I’ll come back. I’ll kill you all. Then it cuts to a family Thanksgiving dinner scene mm-hmm. With a roast Turkey on, on the table. And it’s very nice. And they’re, you know, all thankful and everything. These are people we don’t know.

Todd: Yeah. Some random, 

Craig: and then the roast Turkey jumps up and starts running around and they all scream. And the turkey’s voice says, do I smell sequel? The end and there is a sequel, which they called Thanks Killing three, which I think is really clever. Yeah, I think that’s funny. Like Thanksgiving than Killing Two was lost or something.

I don’t 

Clip: know. Yeah, 

Craig: yeah. Ultimately, like. I feel like I am in on the joke. I get it. I get what they were going for. It’s really not my cup of tea. Yeah. But I, I don’t, I don’t wanna be overly critical about it because how can you criticize something for doing what I really honestly believe it’s set out to do.

Yeah. Just because it’s not my cup of tea doesn’t mean that there, that there’s not gonna be an audience for it. I think that there is an audience for it. I think that there are people who will genuinely. Really have a good time watching this. I can only imagine that that, that this is the type of thing that would be best enjoyed with friends.

Mm. So that you could laugh together and goof around together and there’s no part of this movie that you have to concern yourself with missing. Yeah. Like. You can have a great laugh, talk joke, have a good time. When you come back to it, it’s just still gonna be happening and it’s just gonna be more of the same.

Mm-hmm. You’re not really gonna miss anything. No. So it, it is what it is. Yeah. It’s not my cup of tea. Yeah. But. It’s, you know, for what it is, it’s fine. 

Todd: It’s on tuby, it’s free. You can go check it out anytime you want. 

Craig: Yeah. And it’s only an hour and 10 minutes long. It felt kind of like a long hour and 10 minutes for me.

Yeah. But it is only an hour and 10 minutes long. 

Todd: I, it, it wasn’t that long for me. It really moved. I was really grateful that it was over when it was over, but I never really felt like, oh, I mean, yeah, no, I did feel, ugh, what am I watching? But ultimately it had its moments. I expected this to be a trauma type movie.

Like I said, there are two or three spots in here where it reaches that level of trauma, like brilliance. It somehow gets that secret sauce right for a few seams. And so, you know, good for them for managing to do that, for this, you know, shot on video thing that a bunch of friends got together and do.

Which you’re absolutely right is exactly like what I did in college. And it looks like it. And it feels like it. 

Craig: Yeah, it does. 

Todd: Uhhuh. So that’s fun. And you know, we’ve talked about this before. We like the earnestness and of this, these kind of movies too. Absolutely. We love it. You know, and, and you know what, I think as we go into the age of ai.

Anyone can just type shit in and you get something that looks amazing and right, but is probably going to be soulless, right? It’s gonna be its own thing. It’s gonna be its own aesthetic. I have a feeling we’re gonna gravitate. Towards this kind of stuff more and more, yeah, this stuff that was clearly put together by real people who had ideas and maybe that wasn’t the most polished and maybe the, you know, it was a little off and maybe it just has a very limited audience and doesn’t really connect with the mass population.

I think this kind of movie is gonna be valued and treasured a lot more as the. Decades go on. So, 

Craig: yeah. 

Todd: And clearly, I mean, it must be making some money for these guys. It must be Well, and it’s gimmicky GI gimmick, 

Craig: gimmicks are smart. Yeah, it works. Yeah. It really, you know when, when people are looking for Thanksgiving horror movies, they are going to come across than killing.

Yeah. 

Todd: Because there aren’t many out there. It’s, 

Craig: it’s, it’s smart 

Todd: and it’s well named. Right. And it’s goofy. Yeah. Yeah. And I would, I would buy this puppet. If this puppet was, was sold in a store, I would actually buy it. I think it’s cool. It’s funny. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Well, happy Thanksgiving to you guys, as we always say this time of year.

We are so grateful for all of you for continuing to tune into us after this. For these 10 years, I think, did we just miss our 10 year anniversary? Did we just breeze right through it? Yeah, we 

Craig: did for sure. Yeah. I think it was in October. 

Todd: It was, but uh, might’ve even been September. But, but you know, that’s, that’s cool.

We, we, we tend to go to the episode count anyway, and we’re fast approaching 500, so we’ve got something to celebrate. Wow. I mean, we just celebrate the fact that you guys are out there listening to us and that you give us feedback and that you reach out to us wherever we are online. On, whether it’s at our website or whether it’s on Facebook or YouTube, we even get messages through Instagram.

It’s really quite cool. We love that. We also love our patrons who are, yeah, so supportive of us, who actually give us money. Chat with us behind the scenes. We really have a nice little family, um, that we’ve cultivated through this podcast, and we’re really grateful. You know, again, it’s just like watching a Thanksgiving horror movie with you guys is is like, uh, visiting with family in our own little way with our own little family, our horror family.

Oh, by the way, we’re coming up on Christmas time. That means four weeks, and there are a hell of a lot more holiday themed horror movies than there are Thanksgiving. So that’s true. It is not too late. Because we haven’t even started yet. No, it is not too late for you to start assembling a list for us. So let us know what you’d like to hear, and uh, we will assemble a cool slate of films for you coming up in December.

Until next time, I’m Todd. And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

It’s request time again, and this week we’re diving into the 2017 Argentinian horror film ‘Terrified’ (Aterrados)!

We discuss the unique structure of the film, its atmospheric and haunting visuals, and the complex narrative that keeps you on the edge of your seat. From the shocking opening scene to the film’s unsettling climax, we break down what makes ‘Terrified’ a compelling watch for horror fans, despite its sometimes confusing plot elements. Be sure to watch the video and share your thoughts in the comments!

Episode 456, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Well, it’s about time for another request. As always, we take a few of the requests that we’ve received that we put on our long request pile. And those come from all over. Those come from Facebook. They come from people posting on our website from YouTube comments, even a one or two on Instagram, things like that.

And we, we put them in a big pile and then we draw a few out every now and then and send them to our patrons as a quiz. Metaphorically. Yeah, metaphorically, of course. 

Craig: That’s hilarious. Like I just. See you like printing them out and can you imagine That would 

Todd: be so me though, I, if I was bored enough, it might be something mystical I would try to do to bring some mystery to the process.

No, we just like go through and I, I honestly kind of go like, oh, which of these do we, are we really gonna get excited about? Yeah. You know? Sure. And then maybe throw in one that we don’t know anything about that we might not get excited about, but you know. 

Craig: Yeah. We’re, 

Todd: we’re fair. Anyway, this request that came through from the patrons, they really wanted us to do 2000 seventeens.

Terrified. An Argentinian film that I think was distributed here on Shutter more than anything else. It had a very limited release in Argentina, and I think also in a few horror festivals where it did quite well. But you know, from 2017 and to me, 2017, I think, oh, that, that wasn’t that long ago. Actually, it’s like eight years ago.

Right? So. God, I had just moved to China when this came out. That’s probably why I don’t know much about it. 

Craig: Yeah, I, I mean, I, I I measure my life in pre and post pandemic. So you go, so this was pre pandemic. That was a long time ago. 

Todd: God Pre pandemic by a few years. It’s crazy. Well, here we are, uh, 20 seventeens terrified.

The director is Demian rug and he most recently did when Evil lurks 2023. Did you ever see that? Uh, I want to say yes. But I don’t remember. I’m gonna look it up while you’re talking. All right. It was really, it was all over shutter and the different streaming services, I think heavily promoted on Netflix when it came out too.

I ended up seeing it and I put a pin in it thinking we should do this on the podcast at some point. And I think it has also been requested, so we will probably get to it. I could tell this is almost a warmup for when Evil lurks, ’cause it sort of has. We have seen it. We’ve done 

Craig: it 

Todd: recently. Did we? Oh 

Craig: yeah, that’s right.

And we both, and we both really liked it.

Oh my God, what’s wrong with me? It was really good. It was that one where like there was just some like evil entity that was infecting people and those two brothers tried to get rid of it by getting rid of that big gross, fat guy that was infected. Yes. That he fell out of the truck and then there passed down.

Yeah. It was great. Oh, it was wonderful. I didn’t know it was the same guy, but now that I do, that makes a lot of sense. It makes a lot of sense. 

Todd: It is very stylistically similar, isn’t it? Yeah. It almost feels like a rehearsal for that movie, like he had the idea for both. Anyway, I saw this movie described on Wikipedia as a hyperlink.

Supernatural horror film. Have you ever heard that term before, a hyperlink film? No. So according to Wikipedia, hyperlink cinema is a style of filmmaking characterized by complex or multiline narrative structures with multiple characters under one unifying theme. Okay. Yeah, you can kind of see what they’re talking about here.

We’re playing here with time a little bit. There’s time jumps. There’s sort of parallel stories in a way with these, especially as we get into the fighting the entity with different characters in different locations. Yeah. At the same time, 

Craig: that’s, that’s funny because that’s one of the things that I found most interesting about this film is that ultimately somebody who feels like a side character ultimately becomes.

The main character. Mm. At least in my view. And I was surprised by that. And I, I don’t know. I liked it, I guess, but yeah, it, that makes sense. That hyperlink idea that it’s just a bunch of characters who are kind of connected by a central story, but there’s not necessarily a protagonist. Mm-hmm. That’s, that’s interesting.

Todd: It is. And also, you know, kind of follows through, I wonder if they call one evil alerts a hyperlink film too, because I sort of feel like that is a little bit. Like that. Although when Evil lurks followed more of a linear progression, there wasn’t a lot of time jumping in that one. 

Craig: Yeah, I see how when Evil Lurks could have been, I don’t think that it was at least as, not as much as this one because it followed that one dad for, you know, the, that one.

Yeah. Dad was mostly the main character, but it could have done the same thing that it did here, you know? ’cause it’s kind of a, in fact, I think that it might have worked even. Better. I don’t know. It just would’ve been different for when evil lurks, because that was more of a community thing. Yeah. This is really local.

Yeah. You know, like there’s, there’s a, it’s, it’s, it involves a small group of people in this small area of space and the people who are interested in that small area of space. Whereas when evil looked, felt like. This could be large 

Todd: scale. Yeah, it wa it was everywhere. It did. Well, it kind of became large scale, didn’t it?

Yeah. It seems like it moved through the country pretty quickly once it got out, right? Yeah. Oh God. Isn’t that hilarious? That I totally forgot we did that. That is well, and that I didn’t know and that now that I 

Craig: do know, I’m like, oh my God. That makes sense. Uhhuh. Honestly, what I was thinking about with this movie, especially through the first half, I was thinking, I’m not sure what’s going on and I’m not sure I really care.

And, and I think that part of that may have been because I didn’t have a protagonist to grab onto. Right. And in the second half of the story really unexpectedly, and, and I’ll be interested to hear if your experience was similar, I really started to grab onto that. Cop, right? What’s his name? F Une. Yeah.

Yeah. Funes. Yeah. I, I was like, oh, okay. This is the character I’m supposed to care about. And when I figure that out, about halfway through the movie, I was like, oh, I do care about him and I am invested mm-hmm. In what happens. And, and, and so honestly, that made the second half of the movie far more engaging and enjoyable.

To me in the first half. I just wasn’t sure. I was afraid though, throughout I felt that it was exceptionally made. Like it’s, it Oh yeah. It’s, it’s, it’s exceptional. In, in its cinematography and it’s acting and everything. It’s exceptionally made. But in the first half I was like, oh, I’m afraid I’m not gonna like this.

Todd: Yeah. I was feeling similarly. I was just a little distracted. I thought at times it was a little slow, but then other times, you know, I looked at the clock and I’m like, oh God. We’re like two thirds of the way through it already. And I think you’re right. I think until we had someone to latch onto and really care about, it was just like there’s this evil entity and there’s not much that we know about it.

And it’s kind of just taking out these people that we never got to meet or care about. And then these investigators come along who we just barely know and seem like, yeah, like they’re kind of pretty competent. And what they’re doing and experienced. So like they don’t even seem to feel that scared about, they seem more curious than scared through the whole thing until, yeah.

But 

Craig: you know, with them, like with we’re getting ahead of ourselves, we’re gonna have to jump back. But with those investigators, I questioned their motives and I wasn’t sure what was going on with them. Right. Well, and I think that’s. A credit to the movie that I didn’t know what was going on with them.

Because I think that the way that the movie is structured, you’re not supposed to, I think you’re supposed to question them right initially, but then you jump back in time anyway. This is a haunted house story. Yeah. Ultimately, it’s not even that unique in terms of being a haunted house story. Like I’ve seen this kind of thing before, right?

Where it seems like it’s a haunted house, but then you also see like a. Creepy, pale, naked, bald, hairless guy creeping around. Mm-hmm. And so you wonder. Is it, I mean, it appears supernatural, but it could just be some creepy guy sneaking around your house. I don’t know. I would be really surprised if you had seen the movie, but I think that some of our viewers may have.

There was a movie called, I’m pretty sure, the Pact, and I have no idea what was called, why it was called that, because I don’t remember there being any pact involved. But this young woman moved into a house and this kind of thing kept happening. And by the way. If you don’t want a spoiler for this movie, ’cause you haven’t seen it, skip ahead a minute and a half ’cause I’m gonna spoil it.

This woman thought that. Weird stuff was going on and we, the audience saw this creeper like creeping around her house, but it was like, it seemed like the house was on it as it turns out. No, there was just some creeper I living in her house. 

Todd: It’s like black Christmas. 

Craig: Right, 

Todd: right. Oh funny. 

Craig: So, you know, I wasn’t entirely sure, but that’s ultimately what it is.

But I think that one of the strengths of the movie is that it intentionally. Confounds you. Yes. In, in its structure. And I, I think that that’s very smart. And I give Damian Ruga and his editors and whoever else worked on it credit, because I think that’s a really smart way to do it. You know, it throws you into something that seems semi-familiar.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: But then it takes you in different directions. I, I’m trying to bring us to. The cold open. 

Todd: Right. 

Craig: Frankly, the, the open was one of my favorite parts of the movie. But tell them what happens when we come in. You know, the very first thing we see is just a very domestic, mundane shot of a woman washing her dishes.

Todd: It’s like so many haunted house. Movies Start this way, right? This woman, I believe her name’s Clara, just washing her dishes and she hears something from the drain. She says she heard voices telling her things. I couldn’t make that out. Or maybe it was in Spanish and I just didn’t, didn’t hear that part.

But there’s bubbles. Coming up from the drain, you know, almost like someone’s talking through it. I, I really liked that bit. It got really, really close. Like you said, this is a really well-made movie and the cinematography is very inventive and really quite nice. But again, this is sort of the standard thing.

She thinks she hears these voices something weird in the drain. Her husband comes home and his name is Juan. 

Craig: I don’t know. I will refer to him as husband from here on out. Oh, okay. That’s how he is in 

Todd: your notes, right? He’s Juan, I guarantee you. Okay. Yeah. He comes home and then she interrupts him and says, no, I, I heard these voices.

And he is like, what, what? And what were they saying? And he, she said, they said they were going to kill me. And then at quick 

Craig: cuts, like there’s a quick cut to black like that. Shocked. I just thought that it was a really good. Start like, here are these people. We have no idea what’s going on in their lives.

It’s entirely mundane. She’s doing her dishes, and then she tells her husband about it. He’s like, uh, it’s the neighbor next door. He, he’s been remodeling. It’s probably not a big deal. What did they say? And she says. They said they were going to kill me and it immediately cuts to black. I had to rewind that like three times to read the subtitles because, because it cuts to black so quickly.

The subtitles were on for like a second, like a flash, and at first I thought and typed into my notes, they said You were going to kill me. 

Todd: Oh, 

Craig: and when I finally was able to catch the subtitles, there were several instances when the subtitles were wrong. In fact, I found myself saying, I wish I was watching this with Mr.

Mendez, your Spanish teacher. Teacher at my school. Yeah, because I knew that the subtitles were wrong and they were wrong. In this essence. It said, the subtitles said, they said the THE, were going to kill me. Oh, and I’m sure it was meant to be them, or they, excuse me. 

Todd: Well, what ends up happening is, uh, they do, uh, go to sleep and then she wakes up and goes to take a shower.

She’s disturbed, and then he wakes up and he hears that banging in the walls behind their bed. So it’s annoying him. So he goes outside and I think he tries to call the neighbor, and he, he can’t get a response, right? So he walks over there in his underwear. Yeah. Did you like that? I did. He walks over there, he hits the buzzer, and there’s, there’s noises coming out of the, the intercom there in front of their house.

It sounds like 

Craig: somebody breathing. 

Todd: Yeah, yeah. Nothing but no response. He kind of yells and then he goes back inside and, uh, hears some noises from the bathroom. He realizes, oh, those aren’t coming from next door. They’re coming from the bathroom. And when he walks into the bathroom, he realizes that this banging that he has been hearing all this time has been his wife suspended in the air, in the shower, being slammed from one wall to another violently.

Craig: This is amazing, and I have no way I, I have no idea how they did it. And it’s disgusting. And really disturbing. Yeah, YY her body is supernaturally suspended in the air and just being smashed back and forth, and the scene is terrifying because her husband like, can you imagine? Oh God, he’s trying to stop it and he just cannot, he just cannot stop it.

Todd: It just keeps happening. Yeah. He grabs her. Yeah, it gets her against the wall, but then her head just starts slamming against the wall. I mean, it’s just, ugh. He’s crying. It’s terrible. It’s awful. Horrific. 

Craig: It’s horrifying. This establishes him as a character in the movie, like I assume that he is probably convicted of her.

Death, which, I mean, what El I, I assume he would be, because this is supernatural and he, he’s all over the place. You know, his hands are on her, his hands are on everywhere. Mm-hmm. Who else could have done it except that we saw what really happened? Uh, gosh. Yeah. I loved this scene so much. In fact, visually, I think it was my favorite scene because it was so.

Disturbing. It was just one of the most disturbing things I’ve seen in a long time. You know, this is a beautiful woman and she’s being brutally, she’s dead. Yeah. By then she’s dead. Even by the time he gets there, she’s dead. Yeah, but her, like her eyeballs are popping out and her. Head is getting squished.

Ugh. It was, uh, terrible. The but what bothers me, and it doesn’t even bother me that much, I don’t care. It’s just a movie. We never, I don’t really understand what was going on there. Right? Because later it seems like any time anything is happening to people, there’s somebody doing it who is visible to the other people around, right?

So. I’m not sure what’s going on there. Ultimately, I don’t care. I’m fine. It’s a haunted house thing. Supernatural great, whatever. Yep. But. It left me wondering. 

Todd: Yeah. Well that’s a big question I think through the whole movie is there’s a lot of unknown. I mean, I think by the end of the whole film, I wasn’t really sure what the rules were, you know, what, what, what the entities wanted, what, how they propagated or moved around.

I think, like you said, intentionally left nebulous. And, and I think we had a little bit of that. And when, when Evil lurks too, didn’t we? I think that was another sort of thematically similar thing between the movies. There was a lot of stuff that we were just thrown into this world and we’re never gonna get explained, you know, to us about.

Craig: And ultimately I feel like that’s okay because yeah, if it’s life, if something like this were to happen, would you get a nice need explanation for it? No. Like, yeah, 

Todd: there’s never a moment. 

Craig: Crazy shit just happens. 

Todd: There’s a moment in here where once somebody puts a theory out there, but, but that’s all it is ultimately.

Yeah. And I think that’s good. Like you said, it’s terrifying ’cause you don’t really know what it is, what it is. But I, I assume there’s some rule, you know, I assume there’s something, so I didn’t feel cheated or. You know, like they were kinda lazy in that regard. He gets put, brought into, uh, sort of an interrogation room with three people who at first, you know, I thought were cops, but it turns out that they are these three investigators later.

We learn their names and who they are. One is Maura Alre, one is Mario Hanno, and the other is Rosentalk. They start questioning him. One of the first things they say is, we believe you, we, we know you didn’t kill your wife. So don’t worry about that. We, we need some information from you look at these photos and he shows some photos of, of a murder and he is like, well, that’s not my wife.

And they’re like, we know. It’s, it’s a similar incident that happened like back in America in 1998. 

Craig: Yeah. Again, never brought up again. 

Todd: Yeah, that’s what they said. And so then, you know, they asked him to narrate and you know, a little bit about when things started to happen and he said, well, it first started.

With the accident in front of the house. So there are two accidents that apparently happened in front of the house. One was a dog. Right. I don’t understand. 

Craig: I know ’cause, because in the initial scene when the husband is talking to. His wife in the initial scene, they say something. In fact, I was a little bit irritated with the husband because he said he was making light of the fact that somebody had run over and killed a dog.

But he is like, don’t be sad. It turns out it’s alive. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: But then they also reference another accident that had happened that we get to see. And I didn’t see this coming, and it shocked me. 

Todd: It’s confusing, isn’t it? I, I mean, was that just deliberately to kind of mess, to throw us off with the whole timeline jumping?

I don’t 

Craig: know. I don’t know, but I’m, I would be so interested in being able to talk to this director because I think that he’s very clever and very smart and he thinks you know a lot about how he’s gonna structure his movies. But I have so many questions, but I can only imagine that that’s intentional.

Like, I’m supposed to have these questions, 

Todd: right? 

Craig: I I wanna ask him, what was that guy talking about when he was talking about when a dog got hit? Because then later when somebody references the accident in front of their apartment, I thought, oh, that must be talking about the dog that 

Todd: got hit. Right. But it 

Craig: wasn’t at all.

Todd: He says, uh, well, it, uh, you know, there was the accident that happened and my neighbor Walter. Was working on renovations. And the next shot we have, and again, like you said, kind of alluded to earlier, we don’t get any help here. There’s no, you know, six months earlier or anything like that. Right. That comes up on the screen.

It’s just we’re with a guy who’s. In his office who’s, looks like he hasn’t slept in days and he’s on the phone with somebody trying to get help. He’s trying to talk to a doctor. He keeps saying, doctor, doctor, and again, this is another thing, I thought maybe he had some medical issue and he’s trying to get to one of these doctors and he’s like, this doctor can’t help you.

So. He was referred to a specialist, and so he was calling the specialist, but the specialist’s, secretary, or assistant or whatever says, well, that person’s not here. And anyway, she’s full. She can’t take cases. And he’s like, but I, I was referred to you by, you know, these people gave me the number. Who, who gave you the number?

I was all these other specialists that said, you’re the only one who can help. She’s like, all right, I’ll call you back tomorrow. So this guy’s desperate for some help from a doctor. But then he comes home and he’s just in the days going through and we realize, oh, this is another gonna be another haunted house situation.

He’s hearing noises. He hears a similar noise come out of the drain. I think when he is brushing his teeth in the bathroom. There’s a lot of water and bathroom symbology here, which again, I think that was thrown in there, but we are not exactly clear on what it means. And then he goes into his bedroom to lay down, and I thought he pushed his bed against the wall when he stands in front of his bed.

Before he gets in it, the bed kind of nudges forward toward the wall and the nudges again, and he just gets in it. And there’s a part of me that thought, well, did his bed just move on its own. But the angle is such that. I didn’t catch whether that was the case and the fact that he just gets in it anyway, like nothing happened, made me think, oh, he did nudge it closer to the wall.

So I wasn’t sure if in this scene he was pushing the bed closer to the wall or if this thing has been happening to him so often now that he just is used to it and just kind of ignores it. Do you know what I’m talking about? Did you, did you get the same thing from this? From this scene? 

Craig: No, I know what you’re talking about.

I think, as I remember in that scene. He pushes his bed a little bit. 

Todd: Okay. He did push it, uh, 

Craig: before he lays down in it. Alright. Alright. Just a little bit, like, just readjust it. I mean, it’s a, a twin bed. Yeah. But anyway, yes, he does move his bed for whatever reason, like he just scoots it a little bit like, huh, I don’t know.

Somehow it got jostled and it’s not in the right place and he scoots it, but then he lays down in the bed and then while he’s laying in the bed, it just moves. Like not just a little bit, a lot. Scooting around. Mm-hmm. The haunting in this is really not subtle. Like no. They try to project that it’s subtle for a second.

Like, oh, it’s loud noises and bangs, or whatever. Yeah. But when you find out what those loud noises and bangs are, it’s not subtle. There’s something crazy going on, and I don’t know how I feel about this ultimately, because we never really know. Yeah. We never really find out what’s happening. Yeah. Is this a particular malevolent spirit?

Ugh. Why is it centralized to this particular location? And when I say location, I mean like a radius. Yeah. Because it’s not just one. Apartment. It’s not even like one apartment complex. It’s like a, a circular radius around a area of a street. 

Todd: Yeah. It’s like a two townhouses connected together and the one across the street from it.

Something like 

Craig: that. 

Todd: Yeah. I don’t, yeah, 

Craig: and, and, and I don’t think it’s. Unless I miss something and please enlighten me if I did. I don’t think we ever find out. We don’t. 

Todd: And there’s something to do with the water connecting them 

Craig: and the pipes. Yeah. I don’t know. But 

Todd: we don’t know what that is either. Uh, there’s a point later on that’s just a minor thing.

But there’s a point where we get a very, very distinct closeup there. Like there’s a kid who’s running around and kicking a ball around. There’s a very big closeup. In the foreground of a, an outdoor faucet, you know, that’s just dripping. And as the kid goes to retrieve his ball, he takes a big sip of water.

And if I’m not mistaken, that’s the kid who later has something unfortunate happened to him. So there’s some implication that water has something to do with this. But anyway, I’m, I’m jumping ahead, but now we’re with the guy in his bed. And you’re right, the bed starts moving, he looks underneath his bed and there’s nothing down there.

And when he comes back up, it’s that classic aha. There is something down there, but only we can see it. Then his light flips off and he looks back down under the bed to plug it back in. He has to reach under the bed to plug it back in ’cause that’s where the socket is and that thing’s no longer there.

But then as he brings his head down, we see behind him there are legs that run. Out of the room, which he seems to quickly catch a glimpse of. So yeah, he gets out. What does he do? We don’t know what happens to him at this point, do we? He’s freaking out. He got, I can’t remember because it jumps around in time.

Oh, he calls from his home. The doctor still won’t take his case. Right, and all of his furniture is all piled up in one room and that he’s sitting there and he’s just kind of like huddled. It’s made clear that it’s not 

Craig: just him. Like he’s not imagining things. Yeah, he’s not crazy. It’s made very clear, you know, he tries to go to sleep and he’s afraid that something’s gonna happen, and this creepy, naked, ghostly guy is like staring at him in the night and we see that everything has been moved around.

So it’s not just him. Yeah, for sure. But it jumps around in perspective ’cause he catches when the doctor won’t see him. And again, you have to watch, obviously this is always the case, but you have to watch the movie to really get the sense of it. But like he’s. Always calling and trying to get an appointment with this doctor, and he’s just seemingly talking with the receptionist and it’s fuzzy the same way that it is when he’s talking with supernatural people.

So I wasn’t sure if he was really talking to anybody at all, but the person on the other end keeps saying she’s not available or whatever. So he sets up a camera, and I know that we’ve already talked about the events, but. The fact that he set up a camera. He has photographic proof. This Yeah. Stuff is happening.

Yeah. So we know he’s being haunted and then apropo of nothing. We get a shot of a little boy just walking around carrying a ball or something, and he goes up to a dripping spigot and he turns it on and drinks from it, and he hears from inside. I believe Walter saying, don’t drink that. Don’t drink that.

Go away. I don’t know what’s going on with the water. Yeah, I have no idea. We’d never do. But he’s like, don’t drink that. Don’t drink that. Go away. So the kid in fear back steps into the road and then get smashed by a bus. 

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: I didn’t see that coming either. I 

Todd: didn’t see that coming at all. Yeah. I was straight out of like final destination this well, 

Craig: and it’s horrible.

This movie is very graphic in terms of like, when you see the aftermath of things, it’s, you see it, it does not pull any punches. It’s, it’s gross at some point. Husband had mentioned something to that panel of old people about there being an accident in front of his house, but he had already mentioned a dog getting killed.

So I thought that’s what it was gonna be. Yeah, but it wasn’t. It was this kid and apparently this kid getting killed sets into motion. A whole series of. That I don’t understand. We’re still spooky. Yeah. Like I liked this movie. I did. I really did. I liked the movie, but the plot is the least interesting part of it.

Yeah. If that makes sense. Like there’s just not a whole lot to the 

Todd: plot in a sense. It’s, it’s got a similar structure to like some of the ellos we watch Right. Where the plot just is kind of like. Uh, I don’t think we are supposed to care too much about the plot, or we’re not really supposed to dive deep into trying to make sense of it because the movie itself doesn’t seem to be terribly concerned with explaining much to us.

Right. No, and honestly, I, I’m, I’m okay with that. Me too. But it does force you to pay attention closer. Yeah. I liken it to, what is it, Christopher Nolan, who’s been weird lately about having movies where you can barely hear the dialogue. Oh, I don’t know. But that irritates me. He’s got a lot of flack for that, but he does it on purpose and part of his thinking for that is that it really, really forces you to pay attention.

It like gets you, you focused. I find it irritating, but in a way I almost feel like those things were thrown in there, like about the dog and then about the water that never gets resolved. All these things that either never get resolved or don’t seem to connect, but seem like they should, are just ways of forcing us to keep our brain engaged.

Craig: And it works. I mean, I’m, yeah, I am curious, but I’m a little irritated. Ultimately, I feel like this guy in this movie, I, I don’t think he did it as much in the other movie that we were talking about, but I do remember in the other movie that we. Win evil lurks or whatever. We talked about how some things just weren’t explained right, but we were willing to let that go.

I feel like this pushes that even further, and it doesn’t push me beyond my limit of being. Irritated about it. Right, right. Like how do you logically explain a haunting? 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: It just is, you know, like it’s haunted and weird shit happens and nobody’s 

Todd: gonna know for sure. Yeah. It’s the old timey, haunted house movies where, you know, there’s the ghost that appears and then the person comes and investigates more, and then they find out that there’s a very, very specific reason why that ghost of a very specific person is haunting because they have some task that needs to be completed.

Yeah. And that’s 

Craig: often convoluted and stupid. And we critic. Size it. Right, exactly. So this, it didn’t, it didn’t bother me. It was shocking enough. I don’t know. I, I feel like he tried to put a human spin on it. Eventually. The, this panel of old people who, most of them we’ve seen before get pulled into the story.

One of them is I think the lead detective on the case or something, and one of them is the guy that husband, no, Wesley. See, there are just too many people. It’s, they’re all hyperlinked around Walter. They’re all hyperlinked. The woman that Walter had been trying to get to take his case, I think eventually she comes in, she shows up.

Yeah. Yeah. And, and so this council of old people comes together and then somebody who wasn’t part of the Council of old people is this cop, this detective who is. Fez who is just, for a moment, he just serves as the role of the cop, but as it turns out, he’s also the romantic partner of the woman whose kid died.

Todd: Got hit by the car. Yes. It’s so funny how that just comes out. He also is the one who calls Hanno Yano, I think, but I don’t, Mario Hanno. Yeah. He’s the one who calls Hanno the first of the Council of Old people. And the way they’re talking, it’s like. Fez knows that Hanno has investigated weird stuff like this before.

He must know something about some previous cases. Maybe he was even involved in them. I don’t know of Hauntings, because what happens is, and the reason he gets called in is because there’s an incident where four days after the funeral, this kid’s mother. Apparently went to the cemetery and dug up the kid’s body and propped it up at the dinner table.

Craig: Well, they, that’s the conclusion that somebody comes to. But that’s not what happens. We see what happens. She’s at home. Yeah. And she hears a knock on the door and she sees muddy hand prints and footprints outside her door. Her kid came home. We didn’t see that till later. Right? No, we see that initially.

They don’t come up with some. Oh no, we see this from, oh, I missed that. Yeah, we see it from the beginning. She hears knocking and she sees the hand prints and footprints. Then the cops come over and the mom is there. We go nearly catatonic as how else could you be? But what she’s saying is he just came home and he just.

Got a cereal like he always does. And then you see this corpse kid sitting in front of a bowl of cereal and a glass of milk. But when the cop guy, the older cop guy, Juno, I think comes in, they do a closeup of the kid’s hands and he has clearly dug himself out. Yeah. Like his fingertips are stretched to the bone.

Yeah. Which looked fantastic by the way. Great. Oh yeah, the makeup and, and everything looks fantastic, but it’s really spooky. But at the same time, okay, so like Funes is the cop and he calls in this older guy, Juno, and Juno calls in and they look at this kid sitting there or whatever, and like while they’re talking, the kid moves Uhhuh.

They, they don’t see it like he spills the milk, but they’re like, well, he obviously had to move and Juno. The older cop is super cool about this. Yes, he is. Well, well we better bury him again and put up, you know, put some concrete on top ’cause we don’t want him coming back. He was just so quick to be accepting it.

Well. Yeah, he dug himself out of the grave. Look at his fingers. 

Todd: Well, Fez says, I, I’m gonna show you this. It’s pretty gruesome, but I suppose there’s really nothing that scares you. Is there Hana’s? Like, well, we’ll find out. You know, but I mean, it alludes to, this guy has a long history of investigating really spooky, scary stuff.

So maybe he’s like, Lorraine and who are they from the I I was getting a little bit of. Assembling the, the, the team for Insidious, I don’t know, like Amityville or Insidious Church or 

Craig: The Conjuring. 

Todd: The Conjuring, exactly. It’s, it gets a little bit of the conjuring vibes where you got these researchers who, with all these experience who come in, so they kind of manage the kid.

They end up having to take the corpse and put it in the freezer in the back, and he puts a plant on it. There’s a lot of kind of. Cute little humor that sprinkled in here as well that I kinda liked. They closed the lid of the, of the freezer and then I think, I can’t remember who, which of them, I think it’s Hano, puts a pot on top and he looks at Punes and says, well, you know, just in case he tries to get out

anyway. But then he goes outside and he sees the doctor, like you said, the the female doctor who is a Maura Alre outside taking pictures of Walter’s house. Next door or across the street, 

Craig: he pulls her in and then it’s like a super team kind of Poltergeist. Oh, we’re investigators trying to check this thing out.

Mm-hmm. And somehow, I don’t even know why the cop gets pulled into all of this. Like he should have just. Exited through the back door. Like, 

Todd: yeah, he’s unsettled by the whole thing. He, he’s uncomfortable. 

Craig: He’s uncomfortable. He’s personally connected to it, which is weird and I don’t really understand what the point of that is.

And like he also makes a huge, huge point, which I found to be comedy. I don’t know if you found it. He’s like, guys, I can retire in six months. Like, yeah, guys, you 

Todd: knew he was doomed the minute he said that, like, 

Craig: like my, my heart’s not great. Like I, I’ve got some problems. I’m just trying to take it easy. I can, I can retire at six months.

Todd: That was total comedy, total foreshadowing. I just got six months left to go of holding my heart ahold out. Another guys, guys.

He also has a hearing aid. Yeah. This guy’s kind of in bad shape actually. Yeah. And he admits it and he doesn’t look like he’s, uh, comfortable through this whole thing. It’s kind of funny. 

Craig: Yeah. Okay. And so then, I don’t know how detailed we want to get into the end of it, but it just turned, it just turned out there.

There’s some haunting. I don’t think that the haunting is ever explained. No, we don’t know. Why it’s, but it’s, it’s haunted and there’s a creepy naked guy, white, hairless, ghostly, naked guy who comes out at night and he might kill you. Yeah. Like, don’t live there. Just get out. Because it seems like it’s just, it is just the radius, you know?

Yeah. It just affects a, a few houses, but he shows up. There’s something about 

Todd: magnets, I don’t know. Well. I dunno if it’s mag. Not even necessarily magnets, ’cause like wooden things are moving too. But you’re right, the metal stuff. But there’s something about like 

Craig: magnetism because like metal things, like all the forks and spoons and knives are like dangling from a cabinet and then somebody’s like, Ooh, this is weird.

And puts their hand up there and then their hand gets stabbed, I guess. Mm-hmm. Because the knife. Was attracted by whatever was attracting it. And then whoever this is, I don’t even remember. It’s like something’s sucking. It’s sucking what? It’s sucking my blood. 

Todd: It’s Rosen talk, Dr. Rosen talk. Yeah. And 

Craig: you can hear like the, 

Todd: like it’s, it sucks blood.

Yeah. We know this. 

Craig: What? 

Todd: What Sometimes I guess what is happening, it, it attracts things, magnetically. It kind of plays with them more than anything. When he gets the knife out of his hand, he’s just kind of mildly distracted by all that. It’s like he gets himself bandaged up, but he’s gotta get on the phone.

He is gotta call Dr. Alre, who herself is in Walter’s house. Whose house is she at? She’s in the house with the big gas. I don’t know. They’re in apartments across the street from one another. Oh yeah. She’s in, um, Juan’s house I believe. But she has set up some kind of equipment on the table. Uh, we don’t see all of it.

And also I think the other guy’s got a few things as well where he is hano some kind of pendulum. Over some metal stuff and some tubes that almost looks like a chemistry set that at one point she has to pour some chemical into. And she seems very disturbed when she sees suddenly the pendulum swing in a particular way.

Like it’s attracted, and this again was hearkening back to when evil lurks, right? When the ghost hunters or the fighters or whatever all have this like. Weird equipment that they have to set up in order to contain the spirit, but we never see it work, nor do we ever get any clear explanation as to what it’s supposed to do and how it works, right?

That was like a little bit of confusion thrown in something that nobody ever brings up. Nobody ever points out, nobody ever explains, and they themselves don’t seem to do too much with it. I’m not even sure what information she gets from her little setup, but it’s there. It’s an element. So all three of them are just in their three different houses, kind of doing their thing, doing their little investigation.

The one guy gets stabbed, he calls her, and then Hanno calls her and at some point he comes over and he’s, she’s as upset enough by what he says that she says, I think we need to call it off. She’s looking at that crack in the wall and she can actually see a guy in there and she thinks it is Walter. And she’s like, Walter, you can come out.

There’s this thing about darkness and light as well. 

Craig: Darkness and light and perspective. Like you can see the creepy guy, like you can’t, if you just look under the bed, like a normal person would look under the bed, you can’t see him. But if you pull up the blankets from the foot of the bed and look at it from under the foot of the bed, you can, and he’s clearly under there like, okay, all right.

Whatever. I don’t know, whatever. Who cares? But Rosen talk is like manic about this. He’s like, look at it. Ha ha, isn’t that great? Yeah, great, great. That I can see this creepy guy that’s under the bed. Like, what are we gonna do? Like, I don’t know. And stuff is happening in all of these places that they’re in and they’re getting weird phone calls and, and, and some of them that are in the apartment on one side of the street are.

Seeing the creeper through the window on the other side of the street, but the people on the other side of the street aren’t seeing him and it’s crazy. And, and they all, you know, again, watch the movie. It’s worth watching. It’s, it’s, it’s fun. Mm-hmm. Find an English tub if you can. ’cause I was annoyed having to read the subtitles, but they all get killed.

There are a lot of them get killed. Like, I don’t know, there’s something with a, a China cabinet and. The action ends up following Fez. The cop. Yes. And he finds them in various ways of having been killed, but they’re also not just dead, but ghostly and, I don’t know, I think Juno or one of the old guys is like, help me.

They’ve killed me. There’s glass splinters in my eyes. Yeah, it’s just, it’s just a, the last 10 or 15 minutes is just a long, I feel like it’s mostly FIA’s just running around trying to, yeah. Get away and figure out what’s happening. And Well, at that point he has a heart attack. He has a, yeah, he has a goddamn heart attack.

For a minute, which we, and then he is like, yeah, and then he’s fine. And he says to somebody, I had a heart attack, dude. I’m like, you don’t just have a heart attack, as far as I know, and I’m no doctor, but you don’t just have a heart attack and then just lay there for a minute and then wake up and somebody comes in and you’re like, oh, I had a heart attack.

What whatcha talking about? Well, the person who 

Todd: comes in is Alicia. It’s the woman he was involved in, the mother of the, of the kid. And at first it seems like she’s not even gonna help him ’cause she’s mad at him for burying the kid again and pouring concrete all over his grave. But she does end up saying she’s gonna take her to the him to the hospital and when she takes him out to the car, he starts to get in the back seat and the kid’s Corps is in there.

Mm-hmm. She has in fact taken him out and so he gets in his own car and it’s, as he’s driving off that we see the Dr. Albrecht. Comes running out of the house. I thought this was pretty creepy. 

Craig: Oh, it was very creepy. Don’t see what it is. We saw her killed the creepy Yeah. Guy in the house reached out from a crack in the wall, grabbed her head and broke her neck.

And when she runs out now her head is like dangling on her body. Like, yeah, it’s gross. 

Todd: And she’s like, there’s, there’s still hope for us or something. Help us. You can still help us to torture. Torture us. We’re being 

Craig: tortured. Yeah. You can still save him. We’re being tortured. And he drives away. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: But then he comes back and he 

Todd: stops.

Yeah. Takes a smoke, gets a phone call from his deputy who’s like, um, I’m here at the house and things are looking weird. He’s like, leave. He’s like, oh, well I think I’m gonna go inside. He is like, no, it’s an order leave. Finally, guy’s like, oh, all right, then I’m gonna get outta here. And he stops for a minute and he thinks, and he decides to turn around.

He’s gonna torch the place. So he goes in the house and, you know, I mean. Ha. This is why, uh, I don’t know. We, we spent all this time in these houses in creepy situations where everything was tense and everything was scary because the hauntings are happening. But now that he comes back to the house with a gas can, he can just run around in the hallways and dump gas all over everything.

Without being really bothered by anybody. And it isn’t until he gets outside that he meets up with Junio, who’s his eyes are now, like pulsing and gross stuff coming out of it or something like that. He backs off, he runs away. Uh, by the way, the sound design in this movie was amazing. Very good. I thought the part where he was having his heart attack was really, really well done.

Like the sound communicated so much of what was happening through that whole scene. And it’s worth mentioning that the writer director also was the composer. Oh. For it as well, the music. Wow, that’s impressive. Yeah. But so much is unclear as to what is going on and what the end goal game is and what, what could possibly fix all of this.

So his guess is as good as any, I guess just torching the, the house right and outside. Uh, he can’t, like the match he sees who know his eyes are gross, he ends up lighting the match, starts to burn the house down. There’s a closeup on the kids’ drawings burning up. And then boom, we are now back with Juan right in jail or whatever, being pulled in front of a new group of interrogators.

Which are three completely different people, 

Craig: right? 

Todd: So now we know we’re in the future. 

Craig: Except, you know, I don’t know. I don’t remember. 

Todd: They’re asking about the three people that he talked to. They’re like, first of all, you’re not in any trouble and nothing on this. We’re gonna record this session. But none of this is legally admissible in any way.

It’s just for information. Tell us about the three people who visited you last year. How did you know them? Uh, what were they doing and how did they help you? And that’s when he sort of sees something behind them. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: And he points, he says, oh, he’s one of them. It’s Dr. Hyo. He was with you, right? And they turn around and they don’t see anything there by the water cooler.

He’s like, no, no, he’s there. It’s he’s, he’s helping you. Right? He’s with you, right? And then one of the chairs like flies towards them and into the camera, and that’s the end. 

Craig: Yeah. I would say that this movie is really successful in establishing atmosphere and spookiness, and I would go so far as to even say intrigue.

You know, in, in wanting to, being curious about what’s going to happen next and, and what’s going on. I, I’m not sure about the plotting of it, but I don’t know if that was a particular concern, 

Todd: right. 

Craig: Of the filmmakers. So I hesitate to judge it on that. I found the first part to be. A little bit slow, only because it felt familiar.

Right. I’ve seen this. I get it. It’s a haunted place. I get it. I thought that in the second half it was more interesting in. The way that it was visually presented, and I don’t mean cinematography, but I mean like the cinematography was good, don’t get me wrong, but the effects I thought were very, very good and, and creepy.

I don’t know. Ultimately, I enjoyed it. I didn’t enjoy it as much as I enjoyed. When Evil lurks, because I felt like when Evil Lurks was very character driven. 

Todd: Oh, it had so much humanity in it. Yeah. It was just such a, right, yeah. Right. A powerful movie about God. About about what? When you’re making all the wrong choices.

Family. Family, yeah. Pressures and things. This, yeah. Mm-hmm. This, you’re right. It was like, and, and I mean you could say plot heavy in a sense, but the really, a whole bunch of elements that you’re never gonna understand. Right. That are never going to be explained. And I think that’s why the first part ultimately even feels slower by the time you’re done with the movie because all these little details that are given to you in the first almost hour of the movie, I really expected a payoff.

You know, I expected to learn what the deal was with the water, right? You know, that that was gonna give us information on how they overcome the spirits or how they contain it, or how they do whatever. I expected to learn what this, this creature was and. By the end of it, you realize, no, you’re never gonna know.

And so that makes that first half even feel longer, you know? So, uh, I I was with you on that. Yeah. I thought it was a little slow in the beginning. I think the effects were about half, half. I thought they were pretty gruesome, but pretty CGI heavy, you know, that creature was pretty much all CGI, as far as I could tell.

And it looked like it. I don’t know. And, uh, I don’t know, like, you know, when it kind of comes outta the wall and its hand and, and all that. Yeah. I 

Craig: at the end. You’re right. Yeah. Because it changes in the beginning, it’s like a ghostly, naked man, but towards the end it starts to become more creature like.

You’re right. When it reaches its hand out of the cracked wall, the hand does not look like a human hand. It it looks like something alien or, or supernatural. The, the fingers are. Much longer than human hands. And 

Todd: yeah, 

Craig: and you’re, you’re probably right. I imagine that most of that was CGII was watching it on my computer, so.

Oh, right. And that part was brief. You know, that happens in just a, a couple of seconds. I found the imagery of, even though it was familiar to me. The imagery of the ghostly naked man creeping around the house, it creep that I, I did find it creepy and that was good, but I know what you’re talking about.

Todd: Yeah. Yeah. It’s worth a watch, I think. And it’s really well made. It’s probably unfair just to compare it to this other movie just ’cause he made it too. But I I, if I were to choose between the two, I thought what, what Evil lurks was when Evil lurks was way, way better. Yes, I agree. And more engaging. So, you know, if you’re going to choose between the two, if you only have the wherewithal to read subtitles for one Argentinian movie made in the last 15 years, you should probably watch What Evil Lurks.

I think you’ll find that one more emotionally satisfying. But this one’s nice. It was fine. Yeah, it was. It was a good movie. It was a good movie, not the, not my favorite, but it was a good movie. Well, thank you so much for listening and thank you patrons for, uh, giving us another great film to review. If you would like to join the fun on our Patreon channel, you can go to patreon.com/chainsaw podcast and for just five bucks a month, you yourself can choose which ones we will review for our.

Request episodes. You can also find our book club back there. We’re meeting every week or two, always reading a new book. And we also have our complete uncut phone calls that lead to this. There are a few juicy tidbits of Craig’s personal life in here that you’re never gonna hear if you’re not a patron, 

Craig: and whether you’re well, and whether you’re a patron or not, you can contact us through social media or through.

Speak pipe. And I think we had a message, didn’t we? That we wanted to play? 

Todd: We do. In fact, if you go to our website and you click ta, uh, talk to us, you can record a little message. And uh, Jana had a message for us. Would you like to hear it? I would. Alright, let’s do it. 

Jana: Hi guys. My name is Jana. I’m from Atlanta.

Um, reaching out with a thank you and a quick rec. Um, thank you. Just because y’all’s podcast is awesome. It’s great. I know y’all have. Like full-time jobs and that you do this in addition to that. And it has just one of the very few podcasts that I have, like really, I don’t know, developed like a pair of social relationship with you guys almost.

And I’m going through the backlog of all your episodes and getting ready for Halloween. It’s just a ton of fun and I’m really enjoying it. So thank you. Um, my Rec is the Fear Street series. I don’t know, I’ve never heard y’all mention them. Um, there’s three of them. They’re on Netflix. I think they came out maybe five years ago.

There’s one continuous storyline between all three movies, but the first one is sort of set in like nineties scream style. The second one, um, is more of like a eighties, like Jason style slasher. And then the third one is more of like a witchy, olden days sort of movie, like the Witch. Um. But I think they’re really cool.

I would love to hear what you guys think about them. Um, and maybe an idea for Halloween. I don’t know if you already have something picked out, but it could be a series leading up to Halloween. Um, so yeah, that’s it. Thanks. And can’t wait to hear more. I. 

Todd: Jan F from Atlanta. Yeah. You should never move, never change your city.

I, 

Craig: I apologize that we didn’t get to this before Halloween. That was a great recommendation. I, I don’t remember if that has come as a request and I’m, I’m surprised that we haven’t mentioned it. Because I know that you and I have talked about it. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And 

Todd: I’ve seen it. I’ve seen all three. Oh, 

Craig: you’ve seen 

Todd: all 

Craig: three?

Yeah. I think I’ve seen at least one of them, and I a hundred percent agree that it would, they would be great to talk about for the podcast, so great recommendation, but beyond that. Janna, thank you for taking the time to leave that message. You’re absolutely right. Todd, I think will agree with me. You know, we’re just, his life is far more exotic than mine.

Like he’s traveling the world and doing all these. Yeah, things let’s things that pretty much really only like celebrities and rich people get to do, but somehow, somehow you’re living that life. But I am just a humble, meager, middle American school teacher who does do this for the fun of it and beyond for the fun of it, that that’s how it started.

But the reason that it’s continued for me. Is because we hear things like that from you, that you make a connection with us, that you enjoy listening to us and that it feels. Comfortable and friendly. That makes me feel so good. That’s why I keep doing it. So thank you 

Todd: very, very much. Yeah. Let’s turn this parasocial relationship into a social relationship.

You know, reach out to us. Yeah. You don’t have to be a patron to talk to us. That’s right. You could send us a message on, I think you can even find a way to email us if you subscribe to our newsletter and you respond to our newsletter, that will come in our email boxes so we can get a nice little conversation going.

Yeah, and I’ve got all the time in the world for it. ’cause I just have to be clear, Craig is the only responsible adult in this duo with the full-time job. 

Craig: The only person with a real job. Exactly. Except for, except for the, I can’t get over that every, like, I’m always. You know, scrolling through social media and there your big dumb face pops up promoting some like, I don’t know, casino slot thing or whatever.

Some game, yeah. And a sleep app. Like every time it happens, like I have to show somebody like I’ll, you know, move my phone. Point to it. Alan’s like, yeah, I know he does that, but it’s just always so hilarious and I bet, I bet money that. Some of the people that listen to our podcast even regularly, but don’t frequent our webpage or Patreon and so maybe haven’t seen pictures of us.

I bet money they have seen you in those stupid acts. I am kind of like a cockroach. Yeah. Well and good on you brother. Like you have found a niche that I think is amazing and I, I wish I could make money doing this shit. It’s, uh, 

Todd: it’s only slightly more respectable than narrating werewolf porn audio books, just slightly.

Craig: You’re making money and, and probably more than I am making, doing a 

Todd: real job. You’re gonna retire soon, Craig. I am. You’ll be living the good life before you know it. 

Craig: It’s true, 

Todd: and, and you’ll be far more secure than I am. I blow all my money and travel so I don’t have that nice fat retirement account waiting for me.

Thanks again, Jana. We loved hearing from you and the rest of you as well. Please, uh, reach out to us anywhere you can. Just Google two guys in Chainsaw podcast. We’re all over. We got our website. Click the talk twist button, hit us up on social media. We’d love to hear from you. Until next time, I am Todd.

And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

This week, we pay tribute to the late English actress Samantha Eggar by reviewing one of her most notable films, ‘The Brood,’ directed by David Cronenberg.

We discuss her extensive career, from television appearances to film roles, and delve into the unique aspects of the 1979 horror movie, exploring its themes of trauma, divorce, and the sinister practice of ‘psychoplasmics.’

There’s plenty of dramatic tension in this melodramatic piece, while staying true to Cronenberg’s unsettling body horror dynamics. Don’t forget to share your thoughts in the comments!

Episode 464, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd. 

Craig: And I’m Craig. 

Todd: Well, it’s about time we got back to another tribute episode, an actress that, uh, we have seen all over television and, uh, has actually played in at least one of the earlier movies that we’ve done. Curtains had passed away.

Her name is Samantha Egger. She was an. English actress. I didn’t realize this because I don’t know if I had ever seen her with a British accent. Anytime I’d seen her, at least in my head, it’s always been American who came over to the States, uh, back in the seventies or so, moved to the States and started starring in horror films.

Before she started moving up through television, did the Love Boat, did all kinds of TV shows. Star Trek, the Next Generation, all the way up to Disney’s Hercules in 1997. She was Hera in that one. Oh. So, uh, she’s had quite a career and I think she’s one of those actresses where, at least for me anyway, I hear the name.

I’m not quite sure who she is, but when I see the face I’m like, oh yeah, it’s that lady. So, uh, we decided to do one of her most famous roles over here, the Brood by David Cronenberg from 19 79, 1 of David Cronenberg’s. Earlier works. I would say I had seen this before as a kid, I think maybe on television.

It came on and I just popped in and out of it. So the only thing I really remembered about it was the ending. So I was very excited, uh, to come back and revisit this, have an excuse to do that, and celebrate, uh, Samantha ER’s life. How about you, Craig? Had you seen the brood before? 

Craig: I don’t think so. I really don’t think so.

I mean, there were parts of it that were a little bit familiar, but I think that’s just from seeing clips of it here and there, because I’m shocked that I haven’t seen it because it’s well known. It’s, you know, kind of, I don’t know if you’d call it a cult classic or I don’t know. All of Cronenberg stuff is weird and kind of in its own category, but I don’t think I had seen it.

Before this, and I honestly, the, the, the actress that we’re talking about, I, she’s not somebody that I am super familiar with, but her face is super familiar to me because there are a couple of images of her from this movie that I have seen. So many times there, there’s one, I’m looking at it on IMDB, right, where she’s kind of backlit or lit kind of from above.

So her hair is kind of glowing all around her, and I’ve seen her face a million times. I’ve, I’ve seen this movie talked about, I think that maybe. It had been spoiled for me at some point. I kind of had an idea of what was going on, but no, this is the first time I’ve actually, I, I believe I’ve sat down and watched the whole thing.

Todd: Yeah, it’s uh, it’s quite a movie and again, like you said, it’s one of his more famous ones. Uh, maybe just ’cause it’s one of his earlier ones, but it definitely put her on the map and it has a lot of other stars in it. It’s got Oliver Reed. Uh, we had, uh, done burnt offerings, I believe. With Oliver Reed in it and were impressed with his performance and that, and I was really impressed with his performance in this as well.

He just has an intensity here as this Dr. Hal Raglan and the other person in this movie, art Hindel, a guy who I looked at and I was like, God, he looks so much like Peter Dinklage and I’m, I was just like, I know I’ve seen this guy around before, but I’ll be darned if I can. You know, remember why, I mean, he’s been all over the place.

He’s been an, he’s still a working actor to this day, has a really good striking look to himself. These really cool eyes, very expressive. And I think the thing that really struck me the most about this movie and why I thought it was also a. Turned out to be a good one for showcasing Samantha Eggers talents is David Cronenberg really gets up in people’s faces here.

This is all about, it’s it’s mostly drama in, in a way. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: And it’s in some ways kind of soap opera like I thought. And he just, uh, it’s really just about the tension between these characters and there’s constant tension between all the characters in this movie. Everyone seems to be hiding a little something or suspicious of something, and he’s really up in their faces as they’re interacting with each other, and you can just see it.

And I think it’s a rare actor who can pull this off in a sustained way without it getting super corny and super cheesy. And I, I don’t think it really got that far, but it, it’s definitely a heightened sort of sense in this film. I thought everything’s a little heightened. 

Craig: Yeah. I mean, the cronenberg is kind of like that, and I, I.

I feel like he does, and I’m totally spit balling because I didn’t do any research at all. I just watched the movie. But I feel like I, I do remember seeing something about how he was inspired to write this. By his experience with his own divorce and custody stuff. Mm. And there’s definitely that element of it here and, and I feel like his other movies are like that too.

They’re metaphors for some real human experience, like you said. It really does mostly feel like drama, except there’s this kind of weird mystery in the background. And it reminded me of a couple of things. It reminded me, gosh, I, I’m not gonna be able to, um, think of the name of it, but that movie, oh gosh.

Deep Red. Is that the one? 

Todd: Yeah. Maybe 

Craig: Donald. Donald Sutherland. And there’s a mysterious little person in a red 

Todd: Oh, 

Craig: slicker. 

Todd: Don’t look now. Don’t look now, 

Craig: don’t look now. It reminded me of that a little bit. 

Todd: Well, the, the little kid running around with a like red jumper is, is, seems almost directly ripped off from that, doesn’t it?

Doesn’t it in a way? 

Craig: Well, I, they are so similar in that you, you keep seeing these small people or whatever, but you, they, they’re careful not to show you much if any of their faces. And so who are they? What’s going on? So there was, yes, it’s very, very similar to that. It also though, not as dark, it reminded me of that Sam Neil movie that we did about the couple that were having problems and 

Todd: possession.

Craig: Possession. Yes. It gave me kind of those vibes too, though that movie was much darker and far more emotionally intense, so it reminded me of some things. Uh, I honestly, I didn’t take very many notes because I don’t feel like a lot happens. Yeah. 

Todd: It’s very slow, and that would be my criticism of it. Honestly.

It’s so slow. I, it’s an hour and a half and you know, just like most movies, things really get going about half an hour into it. And then there’s stuff that happens. There’s some murders that do happen and then it’s kind of an another. It’s almost until the last 15 minutes that you really, everything starts to kind of quickly come around to a, to a head where you really know for sure what’s going on and, uh, the evil has to be confronted.

And up until then, it’s, it’s a lot of drama and a lot of figuring out, like you said, this mystery. You’re right, because possession almost felt like a movie that could have been done by Kronenberg. It takes this real life. Issue of divorce and then throws this weird body horror and surrealism into it.

This movie has elements of that too. It’s not quite as surreal, but it’s it’s out there by the end of it. 

Craig: Yeah. And it’s not that the intrigue isn’t interesting. It is. I, I, I do think you’re right. The, it’s. It’s paced too slowly, I think. But I mean, the intrigue is interesting. It opens up with this doctor played by Oliver Reed, Dr.

Raglan, and he’s doing some sort of therapy session with these people now. They call it at some point, like PLAs plasma something. 

Todd: Psycho plasmic. 

Craig: Psycho plasmic. I have no idea what that means, or if it’s a real thing. 

Todd: It’s not. 

Craig: But part of it, part of it is like, oh. Uh, like psychodrama, which is a real thing, and I think is weird when people like role play and stuff.

Todd: Is that called like gestalt therapy or something like that? I think, I can’t remember 

exactly. 

Craig: I don’t know. Maybe I, I’ve heard it referred to as psychodrama, but only. From Layman. I, I have no idea what the technical thing is, but that’s part of it. And he’s doing that with this guy and it, he, like, he’s roleplaying as the guy’s dad and the other, the guy is roleplaying as himself and he seems like he’s playing himself as a younger kid and he’s like begging for his dad’s affection.

And the doctor is like emasculating him and calling him a girl. And his name is, I think Michael, and he calls him Michelle. And he’s just really demeaning and really putting him down. 

Clip: I could just think of you as a girl all the time. Couldn’t I buy your frocks and your dresses and your frilly hats. And your frilly scarves?

And you could be, you could be daddy’s little girl. I wouldn’t have to be so fucking ashamed of being seen with you in public, would I? What do you think of that, Michelle? Sounds like a good idea. Don’t, daddy, don’t. What did you say? Something such a soft little girl’s voice. I couldn’t hear what you said.

Hate you, daddy hate you. Speak up, girl. Hit you and hate you because I love you. It makes me feel guilty inside. 

Craig: I don’t understand what the point of this is, 

Todd: right? 

Craig: But. While it’s happening, the more agitated this guy gets, he starts developing sores all over his face and body, and as he gets more agitated, they get bigger and more open and disgusting until at some point the doctor gets this guy to a peak where he like screams, I hate you, daddy, and 

Todd: here’s what you do to me.

Craig: Yeah, yeah. Here’s what you do to me. And all the sores are like. Festering and disgusting. But then what he, the, the doctor just kind of brings him back down from it and the sores go away, right? 

Todd: Yeah, it’s interesting. He throws open his shirt, they see all the wounds, and this is like a performance, uh, I, it’s obviously like people visiting his clinic or whatnot, seeing this happen, and they’re all shocked and somebody calls him a genius and then they hug and, and he’s kind of done.

And you’re right. I do wonder what, what part of the process is this therapy and how is this helping him? It just seems to be drawing out his trauma. But I think the. Premise of this psycho plasmic, which isn’t a real thing, is that somehow through this therapy and through them exhibiting their trauma and getting it out, they actually manifest physically in some way.

In this case, this guy’s sores happened in his body. 

Craig: Why would they want to do that? I don’t understand. 

Todd: I have no idea. 

Craig: There’s another character later who. Isn’t really important, but he helps out somewhere along the line. But he wears like an Ascot looking kind of thing, and it’s because he has these huge, disgusting tumors growing out of his neck because of this treatment.

Like, 

Todd: yeah, I mean, 

Craig: why? Why would anybody go? Why would you? Why would he even want that? 

Todd: I think from the, the very get go Cronenberg is setting up this Dr. Raglan as a, as an evil scientist, you know, he feels sinister from the beginning. He, I think that really never goes away. You don’t. Sense. I I never got a sense that this doctor’s motivations were pure.

Craig: No. 

Todd: And so, yeah, it, it feels like he’s experimenting on these people. And, you know, the, the very beginning, the opening scene you mentioned is like a big experiment that’s playing out in front of everyone. And while everyone’s going, yeah, this is great, or whatever, what does it actually mean? Doesn’t seem to be crossing their mind unless there’s a whole bunch of theory that he’s written books on that, you know, you could read and, and they would say something about that.

But 

Craig: it is, and he has, he’s written books like He, something about. Anger, 

Todd: rage, 

Craig: I don’t remember. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Rage. Yeah. He’s kind of a famous guy, I guess. I don’t know. Maybe it’s just because it’s innovative. I like, well, look what we can do. I don’t know. Okay. Whatever. But I mean, it was the seventies, one of other Yeah, that’s true.

Todd: These were big. We’ve talked about this, another movies that we’ve done around here about the fascination around psychotherapy and things like that and, and how far and where it could go. So I think this is very much in the realm of that. Yeah, 

Craig: that makes sense. One of his patients. Seemingly his favorite patient is a woman named Nola, the, the actress that we’re attributing today, and she’s under his care 

Todd: willingly, 

Craig: I’m not really sure, like, but her husband is Frank, played by Art Hendle, and they have a daughter, this little blonde girl who is like the off-brand version of Carol Ann.

Todd: Yeah, she sure is. 

Craig: And that’s a mean thing to say. She’s a cute little girl. But anyway, they have this daughter and I guess they were having marriage problems. I don’t remember exactly why the mom ended up going to this doctor, but she’s in inpatient treatment and she’s not supposed to see the husband at all, and she only gets visits with the daughter on the weekend.

But the dad at the beginning of the movie, picks the daughter up from the visit and takes her home and notices that she’s like covered in. Scratches and bruises. So he tells the doctor, I’m not bringing her back here anymore. She’s not safe and, and seriously, like that’s, it’s, it’s more about that family drama than anything else.

Yeah. And as much as I, as much as I really do like Miss Eggers and this. Role and I think she’s great. Does she ever get out of that bed? 

Todd: I don’t think so, no. I mean, I think, you know what, we’ve talked about some of these movies where it feels like they could have shot their role in a day. I think they shot her role in four days.

That’s what it says in the trivia. And that, and that shows, because she’s in the same place, in the same outfit, the same bed pretty much the whole time. I don’t think she even stands up. 

Craig: No, I don’t either. Yeah. 

Todd: And but, 

Craig: and, and like you said, she’s always shot and fair, you know. Pretty close up. So at least from the waist up.

And she’s just, you know, got the heaven lights and her hair is all like bouffant and beautiful and it’s, it’s strange. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Like what is happening? 

Todd: We only see her when she’s kind of there and she’s. Playing this madness, but you can almost, it’s hard to know, right? It’s hard to know what her problem is because we don’t real, we, we come in in the middle of this.

All we know, like you said, is that he’s here for this intense treatment. Frank seems very skeptical of all this. I think 

Craig: Uhhuh 

Todd: not just. Because of her, but skeptical of the doctor as well. And when he confronts her and says he wants to see his wife, he’s like, you can’t. And then he says he wants to not carolanne, to not come Carolanne.

I call her Carolanne the girl to not come here anymore. And he’s like, you can’t do that either, because she’s entitled to custody. And so he’s like, I’m gonna talk to a lawyer. And he says, all right, good luck with that. Go ahead and do that. And then he goes and talks to the lawyer, and then he goes and talks to the kid’s grandmother.

And then we get the doctor doing the session with Nola. So it’s like. You said a lot. I think there are a lot of scenes early on in this movie that we wouldn’t see in a modern horror movie. We wouldn’t necessarily see all this talking to the lawyer and figuring out all this what he can and can’t do. And then the grandmother has some significance, I think.

And the grandmother looks really young to be this girl’s grandmother. 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: But nevertheless, I think she wasn’t much older actually than Samantha Egger. The actress herself, but um, the grandmother’s there. And I think for me at this point anyway, I was starting to crystallize a little bit of what I thought this movie was ultimately about.

Yeah, I agree with you. I think it’s about divorce and that’s certainly a theme that runs through it, but I feel like this movie’s also a little bit about how trauma kind of gets passed down through the generations. When he’s talking to the grandmother and the little girl is in there, she’s talking about her own daughter and how she’s in the therapy and how she’s blaming her for her issues and doesn’t like the fact that this has bring, brought attention to, and these things that happened years ago are, are coming back to haunt them.

Clip: I guess you know now what it feels like, what it feels like being a parent, being blamed for everything, to have the past distorted so you don’t even recognize yourself in it. Your child’s version of the past, that is Juliana. Candace is only five she’s working on right now, believe me. 30 seconds after you’re born, you have a past and 60 seconds after that, you start to lie to yourself about it.

Todd: And later, well later she dies. And the father, so clearly they’re, they’re divorced as well, right? This, this woman’s parents. Yeah. And later the father comes back and he makes a very pointed statement how, I think it’s horrible that you guys have to go through the same heartaches that we went through.

It’s enough to make you cry. 

Craig: Right, right, right. So I think maybe the mom maybe had had some struggles before. Yeah. Because when Dr. Rag, when Dr. Ragland does his. Psycho nonsense with Nola. He role plays Kandy, the daughter, the little girl, he speaking as her, says, I can’t come see you anymore ’cause you hurt me.

And she said, 

Clip: no I didn’t, sweetie. You must have had a bad dream. Mummies don’t do that. Mummies don’t hurt their own children. They don’t. They never do. They never do. They sometimes do sometimes. Then they’re bad mummies they up mummies. 

Craig: And Ragland’s like, like who? And she’s like, like my mom. 

Todd: Right. 

Craig: And then, and then we see her mom, who doesn’t seem like a crazy person.

She, she’s drinking heavily. She seems like a drunk, but I don’t know. Frank doesn’t seem concerned about leaving the kid there with her. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: That when she’s talking to Frank, she says something about how when Nola was a kid, the issues that she’s having now. She had had before 

Todd: right. 

Craig: When she was a kid, and she would get really upset and she would wake up covered in these weird bumps.

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Which means nothing to us now. 

Todd: Right. 

Craig: But, but put a pin in that. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Because it’s important. Yeah. And then you said, and then she dies. But the, so the way that she dies is somebody, you see a fist break through a window in the kitchen and then this child. 

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: it looks like a child, like in like a, almost like a snowsuit, like a two piece snowsuit with a hood that’s drawn kind of tight around its face, but again, you don’t see its face.

Much comes in and destroys the kitchen. Now, meanwhile, the grandmother and the daughter and the granddaughter are just in the adjacent room. And this goes on for a while, and the grandma’s like, do you hear something? Like the whole kitchen is being smashed. And then when she finally, and then she, when she finally goes in there, she opens the door and it doesn’t look as smashed as it should, but this little thing, this little person, and it’s got kind of weird hands.

A little claw, like 

Todd: it seems like it can climb up and grab, grab onto things, you know, scurry around on the ceiling. 

Craig: Yeah, it’s like a spider monkey. 

Todd: Yeah, it really is. 

Craig: Yeah. It can jump, it can jump all over the place and it makes weird noises and it like it attacks her and beats her to death with something.

Todd: A meat tenderizer. Yeah. Bees are to death pretty brutally. I would say. I, I, you know, it’s not like crazy special effects. This is, I think, an era where Cronenberg wasn’t really going all in on the, I mean, there’s gore and there’s, there’s a lot of grossness later, but as far as like this woman getting attacked, it’s just a lot of blood going everywhere and you don’t really necessarily see closeups of the impact.

But I thought this was just very brutal beating that this woman got As do everybody in this movie who dies, they seem to all get brutal beatings. Yeah. And it’s really intense and it’s that very bright red blood that’s going over everything. 

Craig: Yeah. And there’s, I mean, there’s an obvious thread to how these people who are being murdered are connected to one another.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: But they just don’t really put it together. Like then the grandpa shows up and he is like, oh, it’s terrible that she’s dead. And then he goes to the hospital and introduces to the doctor and he’s like, I wanna see my daughter. And the doctor says no. And he is like, well, her mom died. I have to tell her her mom died.

And he’s like, no, you can’t tell her. It’ll disrupt her therapy or whatever. Yeah. And I think, I think that he threatens to come back with police or something, I don’t know. But he, he makes a threat, 

Todd: Uhhuh. 

Craig: And then there’s a little interlude where Frank, he visits the guy with the gross tumors growing out of his neck, for reasons that I don’t remember.

But it’s a result of Ragland’s treatments. We find that out and Frank has candies. Teacher Ruth over for dinner. Then we go back to the grandpa who has gone to the scene of his Wi Ex-wife’s murder, and he’s looking around and like. Being sad and lays down on the bed and one of those, that weird kid thing, whatever it is, is under the bed, just crawls out from under the bed.

Todd: That was shocking. 

Craig: And beats him to death with something. 

Todd: Yeah, but not before. We get a lot of. This grandfather’s trauma. He’s walking through the house, he’s drinking, he’s, he’s going on and on about, oh, what, you know, what I did? And this guilt that he feels that’s never, you know, again, it’s never really expressed directly, but because of the earlier conversation with the grandmother, I.

It’s clear that their family dynamic was difficult. 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: And there was some abuse in there. Somewhere in there there was some kind of abuse. I, I remember that at one point all the doctor changes to become daddy. Right. For Nola and Nola’s, like, you never protected me. Right. You know, you saw what happened, you saw what mommy was doing to me, and you just turned away.

So it’s almost like a regression therapy, I guess, in a way that this doctor is doing on them. 

Craig: I guess 

Todd: to what end, again, I, I don’t know. Like because is the idea that she. Repressed this trauma and he had to bring it out. 

Craig: I don’t know. 

Todd: I don’t know if that’s the case, but it doesn’t really matter. The point is that Frank is concerned and he’s building a case for full custody.

So he’s taking pictures of this girl’s back, he’s visiting the teacher, he invites the teacher over, while he has the teacher over, he gets the call that Fran, that, uh, the, the grandfather’s dead. So he has to run out and ask the teacher to babysit, and while the teacher babysits, she gets a phone call from Nola.

Screaming at her, basically saying, uh, are you and are you and my husband having a little PTA meeting of your own? You know, you’re a bitch. 

Craig: That was funny. 

Todd: Love that line. 

Craig: But, but when Frank ran out, the reason he ran out, he didn’t get the call. He ran ’cause he was worried about the grandpa. He, he knew he had been drinking.

Oh, 

Todd: you’re right. 

Craig: So he ran over there. So he gets there right after the grandpa’s been killed, and as he’s standing there looking at the body, the little spider monkey thing jumps on him, 

Todd: right? 

Craig: And then it runs away and he sees it run away, but then it just like dies. 

Todd: Yeah, it’s, yeah, it just dies for no reason and.

He, he, you gotta admire Frank Stoicism through all this, don’t you? Frank Is just, when you think about his character, this guy’s not reacting the way I would react to everything. He’s very calm, he’s very measured, he’s very curious. He just stands and stares at this kid for a while, watching him die, and then goes to the cops.

It’s, it’s just, 

Craig: yeah. And then he’s like walk. He’s doing a walk and talk with a cop and. The cop says, we didn’t know that little freak was in there. We looked around, but he’s so small. I’m like, what are you talking about? Small. He was hiding under the bed. He’s, yeah, he’s not like, he’s like Tom Thumb or something.

He is 

Todd: as tall as my 7-year-old is. You know Jesus. 

Craig: Yeah. He’s hilarious. But then, then they do a medical exam on it. And for some reason they do it in a room that’s completely lit in ultraviolet. 

Todd: Was, do you think so I thought that was just a camera, like a decision because it’s told, it’s really told in flashback he’s driving down the, the car, in the car down the street.

And, uh, he’s having, I think a memory of what they had, just what he just left. 

Craig: Oh, okay. Okay. I think I missed that. So anyway, they do this medical exam on it and the, he’s like, Frank’s like, why it die? And he’s, and the guy’s like, you see this little like balloon sack on its back, that’s, its something hump and it’s like a gas tank and when it runs out, it dies.

Okay. And and he is like, do you notice anything else? And somebody immediately says, he has no naval. And he is like, that’s right. No naval. That means it was never technically born, 

Todd: right? No teeth, no tongue. Tongue was too tough for speech. He thinks it can only see in black and white. It’s just so funny how matter of fact.

There’s like this clearly sort of otherworldly creature sitting there on the thing, and he is just, they’re just casually standing around. Oh yeah. Wow. That’s really interesting. Well, thanks Doc. And they leave like, presumably, I don’t know. They bury it. They’re all done. I don’t know, but this is, this is pretty typical Kronenberg.

He’s not really worried about the reality of these things, so we don’t need to be worried about it either. But then I think, uh, this is when they all kind of get together because Frank is trying to build a case, uh, for custody and he looks like he’s going to sue the doctor. So at some point, this guy that he had visited, like you said, with a giant lymphoma in his like, um.

Nursing home, I guess is where he was, brings Mike that previous patient with the sores all over his back that we saw from the beginning into his room and invites Frank there because he had earlier said there are other people you know who’ve had problems with this guy. Right. And that’s when we get a lot of exposition from Mike.

Mike says, NOLA is the Queen B. 

Clip: What did you mean when you said is the queen bee? Well, she’s the queen. Be all right. She’s the star. She’s the one he’s interested in, and the rest of us don’t count anymore. She doesn’t even have to pay for it. And that’s because she’s the one who was born to prove that psycho plasmic is the ultimate therapeutic device.

That’s a quote. Mm-hmm. 

Todd: At this point, Raglan heard about what went down and the discovery of this kid, and he asks his assistant to pretty much dismiss all the patients, all the adult patients. He says, except for Nola. Mike tells Frank Frank’s like, why did he dismiss all the patients and why is he still keeping my wife?

And well, Mike’s like, well, because he wants to be with your wife. He wants to be alone with her, is what he says. So that, again, it’s like there are all these, like you said, these divorce dynamics going on. There’s a little bit, I guess, jealousy, there’s suspicion, there’s confusion, there’s custody, there’s all of this stuff.

It’s very real. You know, I have to say as I a, as a person who’s gone through that myself, it, it hits me viscerally when I see this stuff going on. Sure. I mean, we’re well past all that now, but you know when you go back and you think about it, yeah. It’s very real possession. This movie, they’re really good at conjuring up what that’s actually like.

He’s gonna go visit the class, right? To pick up his daughter and run over and try to figure out what’s going on. By the way, I really like the fact that this was shot in 1979, and I think Cronenberg picked the most seventies of locations he could possibly find. Everything is like wood. The buildings are kind of that style of wood, and, and the paneling on the walls is wood and the architecture and everything, including the school that he goes to where the parking lot.

It, it just looks like an exterior that I would’ve seen on Sesame Street that was filmed in the late seventies when I was watching, you know, I mean, just everything about it plus their outfits, like the, the wide ties. The corduroy suits and giant collars. The hairstyles, I just felt like I’d been dropped right in the seventies and it never led up through the whole movie.

And I, I love that part about it. 

Craig: That’s funny. 

Todd: Did you not get that sense when you were watching? 

Craig: I don’t know. It felt, I mean it all that time period, I don’t remember it well, but like when I see pictures of my parents and stuff, like that’s, 

Todd: yeah. 

Craig: And, and where they lived and all that kind of stuff. So it’s very familiar to me and yeah, I mean, it, it was.

You, you’re definitely immersed in this time. Uh, right. For sure. But yeah, I don’t remember why he’s going to the school, but we see, 

Todd: just to pick her up, I think his daughter, 

Craig: oh yeah. We see candy at school and two of those weird kids show up. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And they like. Grab her and steer her out of the room. 

Todd: They just kind of usher her out quietly and she just goes along with them uhhuh.

It’s very odd. Right? And it’s terrifying. 

Craig: Yeah. And then they come back in the room and all the kids are looking at them. ’cause I think at this point we can see their faces. I mean, it’s been revealed. We know that there’s some weird thing. They’re not. Human. So we see their faces and the kids all see their faces and they’re looking at them like, what the fuck?

And then the teacher turns around and they beat her to death right in front of her first grade class. 

Todd: Oh my God. Oh, 

Craig: and the kids are just standing there like wide-eyed, just watching their teacher be bludgeoned to death in front of their face. 

Todd: I mean, I mean, what would you if you were a kid? I don’t know what, I don’t know what I would do in this situ I, when something that extreme happens right in front of you.

I, I think we’d be shocked at how pe, how people would react, especially little kids. 

Craig: Oh, especially kids. Sure. Kids wouldn’t know what to do. I think I would run and, and 

Todd: one of ’em runs out 

Craig: and Yeah, I was gonna say, and one does, and he runs out and it just so happens that Frank has just arrived and he’s like, help, help.

The bad kids are hurting. Mrs. What’s her name? Or whatever. And he runs in there, but she’s already. Totally dead and totally the kids are just standing, standing around her mutilated body sobbing. Yes. 

Todd: And And he grabs one of their drawings, places it over her face and just walks out of there. I’m like, what?

Is there anybody in here 

Craig: leaving the children? 

Todd: Yes, completely fine. Well, he’s most concerned about his daughter ’cause his daughter’s missing. So I guess I kind of get that, but holy shit. I mean, who’s gonna take care of these kids now? What’s going on? Maybe the principal comes in, you know this stuff. 

Craig: Then the weird, can you be my daddy guy?

Tells Frank that Raglin is only concerned with the disturbed kids in the shed. Why didn’t he tell him that before? I 

Todd: know, right? 

Craig: Yeah. I don’t get that. And, and he is like, and the, they, you know, they’re these disturbed kids and they live in the shed and Nola takes care of them. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Okay. So Frank goes to the shed.

Todd: Yeah. And kind of a distracting day for night series of scenes that I found. Did you notice how like the top half, the top frame of the film at this point was awfully blue and awfully dark? Like they put this filter over the lens to kind of dim down what was above it and. Like the, the brightness of the sky and it just felt like a bit much to me.

Craig: I don’t, I don’t think I was play paying that close attention. Yeah. I mean, and, and like you said, it’s really like the last 10, 15 minutes where things really amp up and get crazy and this is where it begins. ’cause there’s like this big showdown. But I also, this is odd to me because Frank. Gets there. He sees Raglin coming out and Raglin says K’s up there with the children, the children of her rage.

I’ll get to that in a second. Mm-hmm. But he’s like, he’s like, if you go up there and try to take her, they’ll kill her. And then he explains. I don’t know. He had already, he says something like, Candy’s safe with them for now, because she’s basically one of them. And the dad’s like, what are you talking about?

And he’s like, they’re Nola’s children. They’re the children of her rage. Okay? 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: And then the, the part that I don’t understand is at this point, it almost what. Was the desired outcome for Raglin, right? Because at this point it seems like he turns into a good guy. Like I’ll help you. In fact, I thought that he was messing with him.

I thought that it was a trick. 

Todd: Oh 

Craig: yeah. I thought he was saying you have to go in there. He says you have to go in there and placate Nola. Because she has to remain calm, because if she gets upset, then the brood is going to get upset and then it’ll be dangerous and they’ll kill us all or whatever. He’s like, so go in there and while you’re in there placating her, I will go up and get candy, and that’s what they try to do, but things go wrong.

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: but ultimate, ultimately, I don’t think that Raglin was trying to trick. Frank. So why all of a sudden now, like, has it just gone too far now? I don’t, I don’t get it. Yeah, 

Todd: I think so. I think it’s, again, it’s that classic mad scientist thing where the, the experiment with that showed so much promise, you know, he’s on the verge of this breakthrough, this incredible medical miracle, but then it gets out of hand and he realizes it’s gone too far and he’s gotta kill it.

You know? I thought it was interesting that he mentioned that when she released her rage at her parents during the therapy, then they went out to kill them. It’s almost like she can also control these children through her rage, or they, they do her bidding in a way. 

Craig: I don’t, but I don’t think that she is, I don’t think that she’s doing it consciously.

Todd: No, she’s not. 

Craig: I don’t even think that she’s aware 

Todd: No. 

Craig: That it’s happening. There’s one point where she says that she had a dream, maybe that Ruth was out of the way or something, or whoever the, the teacher lady was, and she did do the whole psychobabble thing. Psychodrama with Raglan, with him as Ruth also.

So everybody that she did that thing with Raglan with. Ended up dead. 

Todd: Right. 

Craig: Except for the daughter, but the daughter’s now in peril too. Oh, but man, this is where Cronenberg gets real Cronenberg. 

Todd: He sure does. 

Craig: When Frank goes in and this, I, I, I feel like this is the first part where I realized she has been in that bed the whole time and she’s, it’s, it’s low to the floor and she’s sitting in it kind of pooled in the sheets and in her white.

Gown it all. It reminds me of like. The princess and the never ending story. Just like a Oh yeah, like a, a a like a princess on a white princess bed. 

Todd: Ah, yeah. 

Craig: And like I said, she’s lit from the top. I think that’s intentional. I think that that, you know, she is kind of the queen bee. Mm-hmm. I think this, this is kind of her, not throne, but her, her princess bed.

Todd: Yeah, I agree with you. 

Craig: But anyway, she, uh, he goes in there and talks to her and they have a talk. 

Todd: They do. They have quite a talk. It’s, it’s a long talk. It’s a lot of back and forth. It’s kind of a tug of war, and I don’t even remember all the content. I mean, at the same time, Raglin is sneaking around in the Broods layer, which is a bunch of bunk beds that somebody had to build bunk beds for these kids.

Think about that for a minute. It’s like a little summer camp in there that he’s created. I don’t, again, I don’t know what he was planning to do with all these kids. I don’t know if he’s just gonna hide them or what, but there they are. And as he’s talking to her. You know, I think there’s a lot of accusation and stuff.

She starts to get more heightened and upset. Do you remember the content of, of their argument? It’s just melodrama, right? 

Craig: Yeah, it’s just melodrama. He’s saying that, you know, he wants their family to be together and she, I, I do think that she’s unhinged. 

Todd: Sure. 

Craig: So she does. She’s like, she, you’re lying. Uh, but at some point, I don’t remember.

I think she exposes herself in a moment of vulnerability. Like she thinks that he’s going to accept her, or maybe it’s the opposite. Maybe she’s showing him what she’s become to show, you know, this will never work or whatever. Because she eventually opens her gown to expose her torso, which at first I thought was covered in the same sores that we saw in the guy before.

But it’s not, it’s little. Ugh. Like, 

Todd: ugh, 

Craig: big Sacky, warts, and one of them down by her. No-no. Is like a big, it’s like a uterus outside of her body. 

Todd: Yeah. It’s like a giant uterus. Mm-hmm. 

Craig: If, if I understand correctly, all those small ones. Will eventually become that. I think that she’s birthing out these kids on the reg.

Todd: Yeah, exactly. And, and then I, I, 

Craig: this one, this one happens to be ready, apparently. 

Todd: Maybe. Yeah. I, she reaches down and bites into the sack. So that it bursts open and it’s bloody inside. It’s, it’s all just blood. 

Craig: It’s disgusting. 

Todd: She pulls out this fetus and then she just starts licking it. 

Craig: Oh my God.

Disgusting. 

Todd: Like a, is this like reminiscent of a cat licking her kitten after it’s born or something? 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: And it was apparently Edgar’s idea. It wasn’t in the script. It was her idea that she would just lick the hell out of this thing with so smearing blood all over her face and he just watches and, I mean, all you can do is watch when this is going down, she’s nuts.

And it’s gross. It’s typical cronenberg body horror. Very gross. 

Craig: It looks really good. The, the, the effects look. I mean, it’s disgusting. 

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: it looks great, but it is just disgusting. 

Todd: You know? I think this is one of these cases of where she’s been done wrong. You know? She’s a victim in this. She’s been a victim, and then I think she’s been exploited.

You know this doctor? 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: I think when she came to him for the therapy, it just so happened that she had this special gift in a way, right. That she was born with. Because her mother alludes to the fact, like you said earlier, that when she was a girl and she would get angry and sometimes at night she would wake up and she’d have all these sores all over her.

She’s special. And so, you know, the doctor has, has figured out that this is really gonna help improve his therapy. He’s birthing these rage children. That’s super interesting. But he’s gotta keep it quiet so he can study it. And then after enough rage, children get born and you know, costs a lot of money to feed all those mouths.

You know, I don’t know if you’ve taken care of kids before, but it’s a pain in the ass. He’s gotta finish his second book, whatever. And so he’s hiding it all until he can’t hide it anymore because it turns out that her rage sends them out to do things. So that’s really what’s going on here. And so, like I say, you come back to this and you realize she’s a victim here too.

So, I mean, there’s no real bad guy in this. I suppose maybe the doctor in a way. Uh, but uh, ultimately it’s just this manifestation of all this trauma. That has happened to them in their divorce and their family, and it, it’s, it’s all falling apart and stoic. Smart. Deliberate Frank. Eventually he is like, I’m gonna kill you.

I’m gonna kill you. And 

Craig: well, it’s because he is disgusted by what he sees as she’s licking this baby clean 

Todd: for sure. 

Craig: And she sees that he’s disgusted and she’s like, oh my God, I repulse you. We could never be together. You’re gonna try to take candy away from me, but. I’ll kill her before I let you take her away from me.

And, and she’s getting all angry. And so Raglin, who is up in the bunk room with all the weirdos all, all the weirdos get all agitated and start attacking him. He pushes Kandy out the room or something and I think she locks herself behind a door and they kill him. And that’s why Frank is trying to kill, I guess he kind of has to kill Nola.

Because it’s her or Kandy. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: At least that’s what he thinks. That’s what Nola has said, basically. And so he does, he. Kills her. 

Todd: It, it’s kind of like the boss monster in a video game. As soon as he kills her, suddenly all of the little minions are dead too. So that kind of solves everything. But you know, it all does.

Sort of beg the practical question. If it was so easy for Raglan to just sneak into that room with the kids and grab candy, why didn’t they just do that instead of. Confronting and approaching this woman and risk enraging her instead of calming her. How would you think that this ex-husband, I mean obviously they’re divorced for a reason.

Going in there and seeing her for the very first time and how many months, you know, that she’s been in there is gonna soothe her? 

Craig: Yeah. You 

Todd: know, I don’t get it. But yeah, I don’t think it things, things definitely don’t go to plan anyway. He does though, I guess. No, you’re right. He does some of the content of that is him getting down on his knees Right.

And begging for her to come back. So he does put an effort in to kind of follow the plan and she’s just not having it. So it just was a bad idea. 

Craig: Yeah. And, and Kandy having been. Nearly attacked and killed by the brood. She had been behind a door, but they were beating it down and grabbing her and, and pawing at her.

And she was screaming, you know, now they’ve dropped dead. But having been through all that, she’s now catatonic. So Frank picks her up and carries her out to the car and they drive away. And I knew this was gonna be the end, but the camera slow pants down to her forearm and you see two little like. Mole type growths.

Suggesting again, like you said, that uh, this trauma is passed down. 

Todd: It’s really pretty sad. I mean, when you think about it’s really sad. 

Craig: Yeah, I, I, I guess. Well, and she has, I mean, if whatever happened to Nola was a result of her own trauma, now it’s happening to the daughter because she’s been through trauma also, and, and perhaps absent the trauma, it wouldn’t manifest, but right.

It keeps, it keeps repeating itself. Anyway, I don’t know. I found the movie very weird. I, I, I can’t even really say I liked it. It was all right. And I, I like, I thought that it was absolutely made, 

Todd: yeah. 

Craig: The end was gross and the practical effects looks fantastic. Eggers is beautiful and I think did a really, you know, she was compelling and 

Todd: yes, 

Craig: like you said, she shot it in what, like just a few days or whatever and Yeah, I have no idea how much screen time she has, but it’s just all closeup.

Beauty shots, but, but she does good acting. I mean, she seems crazy. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: But, but she’s also, she’s also sympathetic. Like you feel bad for her. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: She didn’t want to be this way. She, you know, she didn’t do anything wrong. She’s in a bad situation too, but she is in fact crazy. And, and she, and she plays it well.

She plays it very well. 

Todd: I mean, yeah. I mean, out of sensitivity for people who go through trauma, we’re, we’re using shorthand, right? It, it’s a movie. 

Craig: Right, right. 

Todd: You know, so when we say crazy, we’re, we’re not trying to diminish or whatever these real psychological problems at all. It, it’s a movie we’re talking about at movie terms, but you’re right, and, and she plays this crazy.

I think really sympathetically, like you said, and for a horror movie, very realistically, you take a big risk when you’re doing a film like this that your actors can really pull off something that feels human and not just heightened and Hollywood, and I feel like this. Right. Right. Felt human. All the act I, I concur with you.

The acting in this was, I think, just great. Even though it’s melodramatic. I, I didn’t laugh at it. I didn’t roll my eyes at it. I was really involved in their story. I was a little bored, to be honest, because it just didn’t move as fast as I’d wanted. Knowing I was watching this horror movie, I was really kind of also wanting to get to some, some scary stuff, you know?

And that was a little, a few and far between. So I think it had some pacing issues for your typical horror fan, but that doesn’t. Make it a bad movie. It doesn’t even mean it’s, no, it’s wrong. You know? It’s just that kind of film. Yeah. You gotta be in the mood for some, some real drama here with some horror elements thrown in that I think is deep.

You know, I think it’s got this deep message. I think it’s well written. I just could, I recommend it to, I’d have to be careful who I recommended it to because it’s, it’s not fast paced. It’s, it’s not thrilling. Mm-hmm. Uh. As, as horror movies, you know, could be, and as, as some of Oth David Cronenberg’s, other movies tend to be, and it’s not even as weird as some of his other films are like, you know, it’s a movie like video drum.

It’s just surreal and crazy and you just, this is not like that, you know? It’s like he’s building to something like that. He’d only done I think, a. Few movies before this, but really did get some acclaim for these early films that he did. And he really sort of started to embrace his style, I think, and plow on forward and be more bold and let the horror elements in a little more.

And you know, in a way like, uh, who’s the other guy we just talked about who did erase her head? You know David Lynch? 

Clip: Yes. 

Todd: Just really like to dabble in the surreal. And for that, his movies are unique. I really liked that about them. Unique and human. And Samantha Egger was a, in this case, really good at playing that in this role, and I mm-hmm.

And I, and I was really impressed with it. It’s a tough actress who can be in closeup for that long and maintain this degree of, of sympathy and humanity in, in her face. That’s 

Craig: right. 

Todd: I was really impressed. Well, thank you guys so much for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend.

Uh, we just came outta the Halloween season and we’re coming up close to Christmas. I don’t know if you know of any Thanksgiving movies we could do. Please send them our way. Those are fewer and further between than the Christmas ones. But either suggestions, we would take, uh, just find us [email protected].

You can leave us a comment on there. We’ll see them no matter what page you leave them on. We, uh, also have our socials out there. Just search two guys in a Chainsaw podcast. Any one of those ways is a good way to reach out to us as well as consider joining our Patreon, patreon.com/chainsaw podcast gets you unedited.

Uh, phone calls that lead to these episodes gets you mini sos little write-ups that we do a book club behind the scenes. Direct conversation with us, just five bucks a month. patreon.com/chainsaw podcast. Until next time, I’m Todd. 

Craig: And I’m Craig 

Todd: With Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

Happy Halloween!

Join us for a special Halloween episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw as we dive into the obscure 1991 cult classic, HauntedWeen. Re-released by Vinegar Syndrome and recently made available on Tubi, this obscure gem is an amateurish yet charming horror flick.

We discuss the film’s production, plot, and key moments, from its quirky characters to its surprisingly good cinematography and makeup effects. Perfect for a chilly Halloween night!

Episode 463, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd. And I’m Craig. Happy Halloween. Craig. Happy Halloween. Yeah, we’ve been gearing up for it, right? We’ve had, uh, three interesting movies before this, Eddie. Here we are on the big day now. We had gone back and forth. I think we originally we’re talking about doing finally WNUF, Halloween Special, which has been on our list forever and looks very intriguing.

But it just so happened that I found this movie that has just kind of been released on Vinegar by Vinegar syndrome that, you know, vinegar Syndrome’s been putting out a lot of really obscure movies lately and giving them the really great cleanup treatment with extras and all kinds of stuff. And it just became available on Tubi as well.

And this looked like the kind of movie that we like to talk about because it is so obscure, kind of forgotten, reminded me a little bit of, um, scary Movie. You remember that one? I don’t know, put together as a labor of love by some well-meaning people and a whole bunch of people who’ve never acted before or acted since, or directed before, directed since, but it has a lot of heart to it, and at least that’s what I took out of this.

This is 1990 one’s haunted Ween.

Oh my gosh. No, I haven’t seen this movie before. Never even heard of it until a couple weeks ago when I cajoled Craig into letting us do this instead of WNUF. 

Craig: How do you feel about it? Well, I feel like that title is Titillating Haunted Ween.

Oh boy. Ooh. I think I may have seen this movie before. 

Todd: It has a mind of its own. Oh boy. Watch it rise from the, okay, nevermind. 

Craig: Yeah, no, of course. I, uh, I had never seen it, nor had I heard of it, and I didn’t even look at it or anything about it until, oh, like minutes before I watched it. Yeah. I don’t know. I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s definitely that’s fun and exciting that I’ve never heard of it.

I, it’s, it’s brand new, but it’s kinda rough. 

Todd: You remember Scary movie? The one about the kid who was freaking out all about, about the haunted house, and he goes in and then it turns out that I do not, no, I do not remember that at all. It, it was that movie that was just kind of put together. Eddie Munster was in it, an older Eddie Munster.

I believe you. I have no recollection of it. Oh my God. Okay. It was like a local haunted, no, I really want you to remember this. It was a local, haunted, haunted house. All right, fine. I’ll look it up. The kid is standing in line. Everything absolutely freaks him out. He goes through the haunted house. It appears that people are dying and somebody is going around killing them, and this kid meanwhile is just like flipping out over everything is scary for him.

Craig: Oh, okay. All right. Yes. Yeah, that when you were saying, yeah, when you were saying kid, I was thinking little kid. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Young adult, I guess. Yeah. I vaguely remember 

Todd: when I read the description of this and how it was made, it just reminded me of that this was something that was shot in Bowling Green, Kentucky, the director, writer, producer, all the same guy, Doug Robertson, never did anything after this or before it, but just wanted to put a movie together and basically had some rich parents and his parents friends were rich.

His father was a lawyer, his grandfather was a doctor. They used his family’s network to gather some money together and got his vision realized, and you know, the budget was low, but there are a ton of people in this and it’s clear that most of them. Are not professionals, but a lot of them were from the local university, university of Kentucky.

Right. Probably theater people. Quite a mix. Do you know there’s a whole documentary about the making of this on YouTube? No, it’s 45 minutes long. It’s just basically a whole bunch of behind the scenes footage interspersed with. At that time, interviews with the cast, there’s nothing modern, it’s all in the moment while they’re shooting the movie.

They pulled people aside to interview them, cast the crew, the director and all that stuff. And it’s kind of neat to see all the behind the scenes setup and stuff that went, that went on here. It was filmed in 1989, but it wasn’t released until 1991, so it just missed all the slasher craze before, you know, scream came in 96 to, to revitalize it.

So it sadly, I think the delay of the release probably didn’t get it. What it was hoping for as far as exposure goes. Obviously though this is a very amateurish movie, but I found it charming for that. 

Craig: If you’re gonna like the movie, it’s gonna be a so bad it’s good kind of thing, like Yeah, yeah. You’re gonna laugh at how bad it is, and I get it.

I, I just, uh, gosh, I don’t know. 

Todd: It was fine. This is like the Halloween movie equivalent of your local haunted house. You know, it’s not the big professional haunted house that you’ll drive to the big city for and pay a bunch of money that’s got, you know, millions of dollars invested in it. This is your local Kiwanis club that took the high school gym and made a haunted house out of it, and is is charging you five bucks to get in.

This is like the movie equivalent of that. I, I just see it as like a, a local labor of love from some very well-meaning people. It has some interesting. Things in it, and they’re copying a whole bunch of horror movies. Like there’s so many references and, and shots and stuff stolen from other movies in here, and it’s just kind of charming to see it happen.

Fun to watch. But you’re right. I mean, if you’re, if you’re watching this to see like a big professional production, that’s gonna be super scary and be twisty and you know, that’s not what this is. But I thought for Halloween, this is great. 

Craig: Yeah. Oh yeah. And there are definitely things I like about it. And there’s one part in particular that I really enjoyed and it wasn’t all the Boobs.

I know that was probably your favorite book. Oh, I thought you were gonna say The boobs. I mean, that’s great. Whatever. But no, it wasn’t that I, I see what they were going for and I think that it was fine. You know, it does feel reductive, but most. Slashers do like, right. It follows a very familiar formula, or it’s kind of a hodgepodge of many formulas, but that’s fine.

Most of them are to some extent. It reminded me a lot, you know, a second rate version of like Funhouse, Toby Hoopers. Fun house. Oh, yes, yes. Yeah. It reminded me quite a bit of that. But, and then, you know, we did that Linda Blair movie, like, I don’t remember what it’s called. Hell House, hell House or something like that.

Mm-hmm. Where, you know, a, a fraternity goes into a haunted house and get murdered, like. You know, we’ve, we’ve seen this kind of thing before. It is, I just don’t think that I could get past the amateur nature of it, and I wish that I could have had more fun with it. I don’t know. Again, I, I was totally, I was stone cold sober when I was watching it and by myself on my computer.

Like, that’s just not the right, that’s just not the right atmosphere. But there were the, like the, the actors were so amateur, and again, I don’t particularly care because like you said, this was, you know, just a bunch of people who were doing this. For the love of doing it, and I hope that they had a good time.

But there’s a lead guy, kind of this, you know, douchey frat guy Who’s the Kent, is that his name? The, the Kurt. Kurt. Kurt, yep. Mm-hmm. Kurt is the president of this fraternity and he’s got this girlfriend. Mel, I think Mel. Mm-hmm. And they’re both awful now. She’s gorgeous. And he’s gorgeous. They’re both very, they’re both very attractive people, but they’re terrible actors.

Oh, and there’s one scene where they’re meant to be having this. Serious heart to heart about their relationship. Yes. And, and the score, like the score is telling us that this is like very serious and it’s about their love and this is a romance and they’re talking back and forth and at one point you can see him have to stop himself from lipping her lines.

Like he, he starts to mouth her next line and has to stop himself. Yeah. And then her next line, he jumps and stops and lets her deliver it and then comes right back in, like, and that’s the take they used. Yeah.

Clip: Do you remember this summer when you had to leave My family’s vacation? Yeah. My dad needed some help on the farm. I know, and I can understand that, but it’s always something. What’s bothering you? I guess I’m just jealous of your friends. That’s okay. That’s normal. My friends are much cooler than your friends.

I’m serious. Kurt. Look, I really like what I’m doing here. These guys mean a lot to me. One day we’ll have a chance to do something for each other. I know, but I love you. Even if you do ignore me half the time, I’ll try harder. I’ll try to be more understanding. Tomorrow will go someplace. Just you and me. No fraternity.

That would be nice. 

Craig: That’s the kind of thing I’m talking about now. If you’re into just real, like if you really like really, really silly, there’s some really, really silly stuff in here. I know that we should really start that. You know that with the cold open or, or whatever. 

Todd: Yeah, maybe, 

Craig: but, 

Todd: so let’s do that.

Let’s do that. There’s like a 20 years ago title on the screen and there’s this kid standing outside this, it’s like a. Gate into a driveway that leads to a house. There’s a big sign at the top that says The Berber House. 

Craig: Yes. 

Todd: And this is all set against the backdrop of a complete ripoff of Carpenter’s Halloween score.

Yes. Yes. It’s like the score in reverse. It’s like instead of going up, the notes go down, but it’s kind of the same. And there’s some people driving in and giving this kid money and he puts a mask on. Sometimes when he is taking money from them and it’s just weirdly silent and people come by and are like, Hey, nice mask.

Looks real scary. And you know, the sheriff comes by and is like, Hey, how you doing? Eddie then drives by when he doesn’t talk to him, and then eventually it looks like he just wants to go up to the house. So he flips the sign. Closed and walks up the drive to the house where people are going inside and it’s called the House of Horrors.

And it’s just a farmhouse that has been obviously transformed into a haunted house by mm-hmm. Like again, I would say like the local Lions Club or something like that. Sure. And, uh, the guy at the front who’s scaring everybody before they go in says, Eddie, you know, you’re too young to work in here. Maybe next year.

And Eddie’s like clearly really into this ’cause he starts rehearsing that. Well those welcome instructions as he walks around the house, crawls under the crawl space, which becomes vents. Mm-hmm. Okay. And somehow gets into the house, into, I mean, this is not a huge looking house from the outside, but apparently there’s a room in there that’s gets overlooked a lot.

That’s the room he ends up in. And one of the girls kind of gets lost and wanders into that room. And, and I thought this girl was cute because she looked way too old for how she was acting. She was acting with this like really girly voice and like, oh, I’m so scared. But like, she looked like she was 16 at least.

Oh, I didn’t notice. She bumps into Eddie and. That freaks her out. And Eddie has led her into this room with a candle to, I guess she wants to get out of there, do you know the way out. And in the room he kind of locks her in somehow by closing a panel and then just chases her in circles around the room until he runs her into the corner where she gets impaled on a stake and it’s pretty bloody.

And I thought, did he mean to do that or was this an accident? But then he pulls a machete out from, I don’t know where he was hiding this thing I know. And then cuts her. Now we don’t see him cut her, but we see lots of blood squirting on him. 

Craig: Yeah, 

Todd: lots of blood. And he runs off into the cornfield, and as he trips and falls, a woman’s hand appears on his shoulder and goes.

Eddie, we need to go away for a while. Right. Turns out to be his mother and now we’re 20 years later now, I don’t know, 20 years ago already looked like the eighties, but apparently 20 years later it’s still the eighties as far as how everyone’s dressed and everything. 

Craig: Yeah. I was surprised this, this childhood trauma set up is so common, like, oh yeah.

To the point of cliche, but who cares? I was surprised, like when he backed her into the. I don’t know, huge spike sticking out of the wall. I thought it was an accident and I was like, oh, this is going to be tragic. You know, like he’s gonna be blamed for this. Right. And that’s what’s gonna push him over the edge.

No, it seems like he was a psycho right 

Todd: from the beginning, and I guess his mother was hanging out nearby and knew what went down in the room. I, I like, it’s kinda weird, 

Craig: I guess. I dunno. Well, that, I didn’t realize this until later in the movie, but that was their home. Like they lived there. Oh, they put on the haunted house every year.

So then they, they flee the mom. I don’t know if there was a dad, but we never see a dad. But, uh, it’s 20 years later and apparently Eddie and his mom, Eddie, who was a normal, very normal sized young person, is now a huge guy. Yeah, it seems like, but they don’t show us his face until near the very end of the movie.

I’m not really sure. Why, but whatever. But they live in a cabin in the woods, but she immediately dies of a heart attack and he finds her and says, mama, no.

No. And it like reverbs in the soundscape. It’s hilarious. Yeah. And then he throws her in a van and says, it’s time to go home. Mama. Like, yeah. Everything is such an obvious trope. Like the night he came home, like, Uhhuh, it’s time to go home, mama. 

Todd: I thought there were moments in this movie where the camera work was really impressive for, for this low budget.

That’s fair. And the, um, editing was kind of good too. Like the camera’s one of those always moving real h. Style, way of cinematography. You know, it actually does some complex movements through crowds and around corners and stuff that really elevated the movie above. For example, scary movie, which the camera was quite static most of the time in there.

And it, I think, in ways that one felt even more amateur than this one did. But yeah, and the, and the cutting was kind of cool too, where they were, you know, they cut between him chopping the wood and as they were slowly zooming in on. Her inside the house, and you know, the fact that they just didn’t show his face, which as you said, oddly enough, didn’t matter.

I didn’t know if at the very end when he finally pulls the mask off just before he bites it, if we were supposed to recognize him or there was supposed to be something significant about his face. No, I don’t think so. I don’t think so. So it’s just a, it’s just a thing. But yeah. So anyway, time to go home, mama.

And now we’re at Top Hill State College and there is a Pee Wee Herman lookalike. 

Craig: I know. What was that? That was so weird. Okay, so we, and and you’re right. I, I will give the movie credit for that. There is some good camera work it, the, the camera man or who, whoever’s operating the camera, navigates this camera through the door and then through this frat house.

But it’s like, it’s a frat party. Let us tell you. It’s a frat party by showing you a beer bong and having guys. Dump their beers, you know, conspicuously on the breasts of the girls that they’re talking to who are wearing white t-shirts, and the girls are like, oh, it’s so cold. Like, and look at my tits.

Like, and then got, I can’t even, and, and then a pee wee Herman lookalike. For, for no reason and like no. Is he doing, is he doing a Peewee Herman impression or are we, are we just to believe that this is Peewee Herman’s College? I don’t, 

Todd: I feel like it was just a guy who was like, Hey, I can do a Peewee Herman impression, and the director’s like, all right, why don’t you just go with that?

For 

Clip: the whole 

Todd: movie. It’ll be funny. We’ll put you in a couple scenes. He’s just in a few scenes, but it’s, I was loved it that he got a little bit more action toward the end. That was kind of nice. But yeah, it’s just they move from person to person to person. And it’s all these little scripted bits of zaniness, you know, before our main guy comes in to, uh, get everyone’s attention and read a letter from the national 

Craig: and the jokes.

But even like, there’s jokes, but the jokes are so. Stupid. Like, yeah, they’re so bad. Like, like one of the jokes is he’s like, I have this important letter. I found it in so-and-so’s shoe. And the guy’s like, well, I saw the letter and it was thick, and I had a hole in my shoe and I had to patch it. Like, that’s, that’s, that’s a joke.

Yeah. That’s not funny. That’s just stupid. I don’t know. The laugh track tells me otherwise. Oh boy. It’s horrible. And so this dumb, dumb curt, this, this hot, dumb dumb gets up in front, like, and I see what they’re going for. They’re going for animal house, but it’s just so, the acting is terrible. It’s, it’s what you would get if you got a bunch of.

College kids who had never acted Yeah. You know, got them kind of drunk and said, okay, pretend that you’re dancing and laughing and having a good time. Like it just looks completely, it looks terrible. And so, but he gets up and he’s like trying to rally the troops or whatever, 

Clip: sister, how are we?

The Sigma five have always been in front of the rest. It is a pleasure to be your leader.

Alright. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it. Quit it.

This letter. Is 

Craig: from our national headquarters, even though he’s not taking it seriously at all. Yeah. This letter tells them that they’re gonna lose their charter because they haven’t been paying their dues and they owe like $3,000 or $4,000 or something. I don’t know. But none of them really seem particularly concerned about it.

Like, 

Todd: no, nobody cares. It’s like they’ve been putting this off for as, for as long as they have, and they’re just gonna keep doing it again. I was like, what’s the point of this scene? 

Craig: Well, and then like, he, like evangelizes, like he takes on like he’s mocking like, uh, an evangelist looking for money and. I would bet $10 that he was reading off cue cards.

Oh. I don’t think he could memorize that whole thing. And he was looking off camera. I think he was reading that speech off cue cards. You’re probably 

Todd: right. You’re probably right. Oh. But his girlfriend, Mel comes over. That’s when we get introduced to her and they’re, they’re little relat. They’re just paper cut out actors being pushed together and like, I mean, it just, it’s just so silly.

It’s dumb. It’s so dumb. She takes ’em outside and they sit down and their dialogue, why, why can’t we just do things together? We used to do a lot together before you became president. And he’s like, yeah, I don’t know. Being president takes a lot of time 

Craig: and she says, I, I think I’m just jealous of your friends.

And he says, oh, well that’s normal. My friends are way cooler than yours. 

Todd: And it’s so slow. There’s like a five second pause between every lie and it’s so slow. And then she gets up and walks, you know, to look away and stand against the post. And then he comes over to her and it’s like they’re trying to be dramatic, but they just don’t have the charisma to, to pull it off, you know?

Craig: And the, the score is not only generic and annoying, but it’s also really loud. Like I was listening to it in my earbuds and I could hear what they were saying. I’d be exaggerating if I said I couldn’t, but the score was really loud. I was like, tone it down. Oh man. And then, so I don’t know, they, they just kinda leave it there.

And then he calls a meeting of the dumb dumbs and there’s. A guy named Hanks and a guy named Listen, and a guy named Jack. Now all three of these guys, like I was trying, how am I gonna remember who these guys are? 

Todd: Wins. He was Winston, I think. Who was Winston? You said, listen. No, it’s Listen, 

Craig: listen. Really?

Yeah, yeah. Oh God. Look at the IMDB. Oh, wow. Okay. Okay. So this is set in Kentucky and some of the actors are just students of the University of Kentucky or a nearby college, and you can tell, and so some of the accents are. Legit and real. Then you have Hanks. Yeah. I don’t know what Hanks was doing, but he could be real.

He was talking in the Royce like this the whole time. Like that was his real voice. Like, 

Todd: I don’t know. I mean, have you ever been to Kentucky? You would be surprised. No. It was so affected. He felt like it was affected, but there were moments where I thought a a about halfway through the movie, I thought maybe this is just a real down, down home Kentucky boy, I don’t know.

Craig: I think that it was just a gag that he committed to like, I’m gonna do this, the whole movie. This is 

Clip: gonna be my character, man. I wrote him a letter and told him we were having a few problems. Well, Hanks, what did you say in the letter to whom it might concern? Mine were having a few problems sincerely.

Hank’s Treasure. 

Todd: I found him grading at first, and then as the movie went on, I kind of actually found him Charm. I, I liked him. I, I, he turned out to be like my favorite character. I had the same experience by the end, 

Craig: I was like, all right, I like this guy. It’s like he got, even though he’s a total douche bag, but yeah, the, he kinda grew on me.

Todd: He did. He he grew on you. He, he’s like. He got a chill about him, I think, you know, where suddenly it was like just one of these casually funny guys, and I was like, all right, I can get into this. And his stuff was, you know, halfway funny. I would say, you know, about half the time his jokes were, nothing was like har hardy, har horror, but 

Craig: eh, 

Todd: I got a grin or two out of, out of his antics.

Craig: I did too. And I, I guess maybe I should be appreciative that. If he was gonna go with the gag, that he stuck with it. Because initially I was like, oh my God, this is so stupid. And then as it went on, I was like, I don’t know. He is kind of charming. Whatever. Well, their pow wow was interesting, right? Because it’s like, yeah, uh, yeah, 

Todd: they’re talking about how they need to raise money and they’re like, well, we can have a party.

We can charge people for it. And, and he’s like, well, I hate to charge people for a party. I’m like, what fraternity is this? What fraternity doesn’t charge people for a party? And you just had a party. You could have, you could have charged for that. What’s going on? 

Craig: Yes. Here’s something that bothers me about this movie in general.

They need all this money and so they, you know, they’ve never charged people for a party before, which is ludicrous. But secondly, they go on to throw two more. Big, big parties and they charge for one of them, like $3 or something. Yeah. And for the haunted house, eventually they charge $5 per person. Now I realize that this is the eighties or nineties or whatever, so that it’s different than now.

But still what bothered me was. They’re charging people either $3 or $5, but then they’re providing all the booze. And at one point this girl is barbecuing like 15 chickens on a barbecue. I’m like, you guys, you are not making any money here. You are losing money on this fundraiser. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Uh, anyway, that bothered me, but it’s okay.

Todd: Maybe they stole all the booze. Who knows? Maybe Well, and then Kurt and Mel are at the lake. They decide they need to get away for no reason. For no reason. They’re at the lake and they are bronzed. They are bronzed, they’re laying down on, oh my 

Craig: God. He looked like he had been smeared in mud or something. I didn’t know what was happening.

Todd: Right. And, and of course, like she’s laying down, she turns over and he, she’s like, can you put some sunscreen on me? And so he undoes the back of her bra. I saw where this was going. And then he starts smearing, uh, the sunscreen on the back and then a bunch of wild people on the pontoon boat. Pull up. And apparently this is threatening and upsetting to her because I guess the idea is like he promised her they would get some alone time like she wanted, right?

And these people surprise me. He’s like, oh, I swear it wasn’t me. But that allows her to spring up so that we can see her boobs, first boobs of the movie. And she covers up real fast. And then the second and third set of boobs comes right in on the pontoon boat. I know these girls are just hanging out on the 

Craig: pontoon with their tits out and that’s fine.

I don’t have any problem with it. I’m fine with that. It’s just funny. It’s funny, these guys, I, I’ll believe that they’re cool because they’re fun and funny, but these are not, like, aside from the, the main guy, it’s not like these guys are like beefcakes. For the most part. They’re, they’re kinda average, nerdy looking guys and these girls are just all over them.

Tits out. I mean, good for you. 

Todd: Oh, I mean, obviously it’s checking boxes. Uh, I was surprised that a movie like this had tits, honestly. I mean, they usually, with these low budget labor of love kind of movies, they can’t necessarily get anybody to do that sort of thing. So I thought, you know, three sets here we get more later.

I was impressed. I mean that, that was one up over scary movie as far as checking the boxes. They were good boobs too. They were, they were. I was impressed with all of ’em. Honestly. If I had to rate them, I for amateur boobs. Amateur, they did. They were good. They must have auditioned those boobs. I don’t know.

And, and so he is like, Mel, I had no idea these guys were gonna be here. And she’s so offended. So then he is like, wait, let’s just go for a drive on the other side of the lake. And so they’re in there. Cor, was it a Corvette? 

Craig: A Corvette. Oh, it was like a commercial for Corvette. It’s what it looked like. Oh, there’s 

Todd: so many commercials in here.

There’s also like commercial for rc, I think. 

Craig: Dominoes. Yeah. Um, they did a lot of front facing logos. Yeah. 

Todd: The subway. Subway, it reminded me the old subway cups. And then at one point a, a girl, very obviously, back to the camera, tacking up the flyer on when they’re on the college campus, has the giant RC Cola logo on the back of her shirt.

I mean, we’d seen enough RC Cola cans facing the camera and then it’s just BAM logo on the back of my shirt. It’s so obvious. But again, did this low budget labor of love movie, get corporate sponsorship. 

Craig: No, surely not. They just didn’t care like you think. They, they, I don’t know. I, I would just think that they, either they weren’t thinking about it and weren’t experienced enough to know that they could get in trouble for doing that.

I think that’s what it was. They just, or they weren’t thinking about it. 

Todd: Do you think they worked a deal with like, the local distributor to like, help provide craft services? Like with, 

Craig: with rc that wouldn’t surprise me. ’cause RC pops up more than once. Yeah. A guy, a, a guy who looks like a middle aged guy at the first.

Party, I think is wearing an RC like delivery. Guy jacket. So maybe local distributor there, maybe. I don’t know. I think it’s gotta be something, but surely not Domino’s in Subway, right? I don’t know. Who knows? Whatever. Who cares? Anyway, so they drive to the other side of the lake where apparently the Berber house is the old Berber house, and he’s like, I’ve never seen this before.

Todd: Really? 

Craig: Are you just driving around on random? That you’ve never been on before. Like you go to college here, it’s you. You hang out at this lake. It’s just on the other side. Like 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: It’s like it materialized out of nowhere, 

Todd: but he knows about it. He’s like, oh, it’s the old Berber house. Yeah. He looks in the window and And then we get the creepiness of that.

You expect there’s a creepy looking dude. Killer OV outta the 

Craig: window. 

Todd: Yeah. Lots of killer POV. 

Craig: Yeah. We get glimpses of this guy and the first time they show him, it’s just for a split second. And then just a few, you know, a minute or so later, you get to see him again. It’s, it’s still quick, but you get a better look at him.

And I, my immediate thought was, I hope that’s a mask, right? Because I need to, because I hope that’s not them trying to do creature effects. ’cause it looks like a cheap rubber mask. And then I was like, no, it makes sense. It would be a mask because that kid. Was into masks or Right. You know, he had that scary mask in the beginning.

I honestly think that, that’s why they don’t show us his face, not because who he is is a mystery. Oh. But just because he’s, he’s a masked guy. Killer. Right. Like, like, you know, we, we know who Michael Myers is too. We just don’t really see his face. That’s true, because there is a, very often 

Todd: there is, as you said earlier, a lot of Halloween reference here with the POV, certain POV shots especially, and the mass killer and whatnot, and the quietness.

He doesn’t talk or anything. They walk around and of course his first idea is to make it. He’s like, man, this would make a great haunted house. So I thought he was gonna go back and propose to his fraternity brothers that they make it into a haunted house. And that doesn’t happen at all, by the way, here, I thought there were some great camera moves and I liked the little fake out moment where she walks in front of a window and the dude is actually, his face is right there.

He, she just doesn’t see it. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. 

Todd: And it, there’s a bit of a cue and it gave me a bit of a jolt. And then she turns around and walks by, and of course he’s not there anymore. And there’s this bit where she cuts herself on a screen door. And so he is like, we need to get you to a doctor. Really. And uh, she walks away and the blood drips down and, and, and the screen door opens and the camera kind of pans down and these hands come down and like pick up the blood on the fingers.

And I don’t know, it was just, it, like this was clever camera work. I was really surprised. And now they’re their fundraising party with what, which must have been a local garage band playing called The Side. And I bet they provided all of the music with words in this movie. And there are a few kids are Dancing Hank’s and they were fine.

Yeah, they were. And, and the music was fine too. I, I don’t know. You said the score was annoying. I, I actually thought it was okay 

Craig: in, in parts, like in the, in that romantic part. It wasn’t all the time, but yeah. I liked this band too. But the, the, the dancing, and we’ve talked about this a million times. It must be so hard to film dancing.

’cause it always looks bad. Yeah, it looks, it looks bad and stupid here. It does. Oh boy. And again, tons of gags. And, and really inconsequential things like Mel has a heart to heart with a friend who tells her, you’ve gotta dump. Kurt and he’ll come running back if you dump him. And guys are turd heads. I heard tarred heads.

Oh, I can’t say it was turd heads. Oh, well that e. Either one could be. Yeah. They’re both dumb. So, and then a creep van pulls up to the house. We know it’s the killer’s creep 

Todd: van. Aren’t there also interesting moments in this movie where you can tell they weren’t taking themselves very seriously? 

Craig: Oh yeah.

No, there were parts where 

Todd: got very jokey. Are you the underage girls, for example? Oh yeah, that bit with Hank and the underage girls. Yeah. And, and also when Mel is talking with her friend Sally, and she’s like, what’s the story with Hank? I mean, you gotta tell me. We’ve been friends for what, seven weeks?

Craig: Just, just casually throwing out Oh, Hank and the underage girls. Yeah. That was funny. I, I feel like I should. Explain that. Yeah, do it. Yeah. Hank’s is the doorman. He’s letting people in and taking the money or whatever, and these girls show up and they, I have no idea how old these girls actually were, but they shoot from their perspective really low up at Hank’s as to make them look really short.

Yeah. And then when they’re shooting behind over Hank’s shoulder, they’re shooting from up high. So they look really small and he’s like, Hey, girls are, are you 18? And they crouch down right in front of him. And I feel like it may even be shot from between his legs. I’m not sure it is. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But they, but they have this like out loud conference.

It’s all very fast. They’re talking over each other like, oh my God, he is never gonna believe us. We’re not gonna get it. And then they pop up. Yes. And he’s like, okay, come on in. Like, that’s, that’s clearly a gag. Ah. Like that, that can’t, that could never happen in real life. So it’s clearly a gag. And I get it.

I, I, I see those attempts at humor. I actually thought that was kind of amusing. I just didn’t think, uh, yeah, there’s a lot of random antics. Yeah. Yeah. Random. And they’re. Hit or miss, and more often than not, miss. 

Todd: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean, you can tell they’re trying and it’s almost just like, it’s like watching your kid do a play at elementary school, you know?

Right. A forever, we’ll give you a clap, right? I mean, we’re like 30 minutes in now and I mean, some stuff has happened, right? So I’m not gonna say. We’re finally getting some action. There has been a little action, but just not enough of it. And this is where it gets kind of reminiscent of Halloween because as you said, the truck pulls up and there’s a killer POV as he approaches the house and Hank answers the door and there is this.

Voiceover. That doesn’t fit at all. It sounds like almost like the local radio guy giving the voiceover of this monster, 

Craig: it’s shot from behind his head and from his perspective. $3. 

Clip: I’m not here to party, man. Don’t close us down. We’re just having a little fundraiser and I want to help. Can you raise a check for 3,700?

There’s an abandoned house outside of town near the lake. Make a great haunted house. 

Craig: Hank responds as he would like, what are you talking about? We can’t go there. It’s abandoned. And um, he’s like, well, here I have the key and you can use the house. And he’s like, he’s like, well, who are you? And this, this exchange was so weird, and he’s like, I’m a Sigma Fi too.

And he is like, oh, well then give me the handshake. And then they’re silent for a while as though we are to believe that below frame they’re doing the handshake and then the weird guy goes. I did it. Right. Right. And Hank’s like, yep. Alright. Hanks like, what? What’s happening? 

Todd: How did this guy know the handshake?

That’s what I wanna know. He was a kid. That’s weird. And then he ran away and now he came back as an adult. Did he pledge Sigma? By at some point. I don’t know. I don’t get it, but I feel like 

Craig: some more stuff happens. The Council of Douche Bags goes and checks out the house, and they’re like, yeah, this is scary and awesome.

My next favorite part was the Elvira Home Makeover. Ugh. That part made me happy. 

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: The musical montage musical well, yes to a great song about a haunted house. Uhhuh. I really enjoyed that a lot, but seriously, I knew as soon as I saw them pulling up with like paint cans and stuff, I’m like, oh my God, they’re gonna do an El I were mistress of the dark house makeover.

It was so 

Todd: good too, ’cause Hank’s just sitting there goes nails. And they’re some person like holds up some nails. Nails. We got a box of nails, paint and one girl’s got a thing of paint and she’s like, paint and most important beer. And then this random muscle, dude, oh my God, without a shirt on, lifts a keg over his shoulder.

I was like, where did this guy come from? He’s certainly not part of the fraternity. And then, so this is like a competitive weightlifter is what he looks like. Right? And then Hanks goes, what more could a guy ask for? And then the voice goes permission

sometimes. I really liked the writing here 

Craig: and that this shot was good too, because Yeah, I feel like the camera speeds through the crowd. I, I don’t remember if the part crowded or, or, or excuse me, the crowd parted. Yeah. It’s like it zooms in. Yeah. And and to reveal that the sheriff is back there. That was actually fairly impressive.

Todd: It was, it was a good moment. I mean, it’s classic movie moment. It was good. And, and the sheriff basically says he is gonna keep an eye on the house and then he doesn’t, he leaves and we don’t see him until the very, very, very, very, very end. I thought he’d be a factor. And he’s not at all. 

Craig: No. And we see him at the very end.

Like he just arrives in his car and then we never see him again. And that’s it. 

Todd: Like 

Craig: he 

Todd: missed it all, but I love it. Then, so you are right. They do this musical montage and like they’re doing not even that zany of things, but anyway, the muscle guy is up there hammering nails and pounds of beer. Actually, it’s kind of a lot of boring stuff happening.

But then there’s a group shot where they all line up and make a big pose to admire what they’ve done. There’s no payoff shot. There’s no shot of the finished house. You 

Craig: just No, but that was, that was Elvira. Exactly. When they all come back, you know, to look at it and, but you’re right. There is no payoff.

But the other thing that bothered me was. This was a haunted house, and it’s like they were trying to make it look nicer. Like, yeah, why are you pulling the boards off the windows? That’s scary. Like, you should be putting up more boards. I think they were just bringing it up to code and, and ultimately later we do see it, you know, at not too far a distance and it looks nice, like, it looks like a big, nice house kind of, I don’t know.

But we’re, we’re finally getting to the good stuff. Like they have a campfire and it’s stupid, and a guy playing guitar who clearly does not know how to play guitar at all. Like he just strums it. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And I don’t know if that’s a joke or they just didn’t have anybody who played guitar, but they sing Freebird and blah, blah, blah.

We see that Mel has moved onto a new guy to make. Her boyfriend jealous and somebody says, let’s tell ghost stories. And the sheriff’s daughter tells them 20 years ago in this very house, a girl was murdered, blah, blah, blah. And my dad, the sheriff thinks it was the boy and maybe he’s still out there. Dun dun.

Yeah. And then, and then a horny couple’s like, let’s go to the lake. Yeah. And I was like, finally. 

Todd: Yeah, you, you missed the, the great dialogue though when the dude played the guitar goes, well, I don’t believe any of it. I mean, 

Clip: I think 

Todd: the girl cut her own 

Clip: head off, right? And now she’s trying to pin the rap on the little boy.

Nobody would cut their own head off. Well, speaking of head,

let’s go 

Todd: swimming,

which gets her hot and that’s when they decide to go to the lake. Yeah. And she strips down and And he says what I was thinking. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Joanne. This is my favorite part of every movie,

guitar playing. Dude, you got my number. That’s fine. You know exactly where we are, huh? And of course, dude, with the mask, it gets very Friday the 13th here. Yes. Very. That whole, um, campfire scene was very Friday the 13th as well. I mean, it was almost shot for shot. Mm-hmm. And yeah. He, he, you know, just like Friday the 13th, while she’s in the background, stripping down, unbeknownst to her as she’s walking away into the lake, he grabs this dude by the throat, pulls him up the tree and stabs him in the neck.

And I was kind of impressed with this. 

Craig: It looked pretty good. It looked about as, it looked as good as any Friday, the 13th 

Todd: movie. It really did. The early ones at least. Do you know that the guy, one of the guys who did, um, special effects and stuff on this and the makeup things name is Dave Snyder. He went on and moved to Hollywood shortly after this and was in, worked on a ton of things, a ton of stuff, stuff we know, like Species two, hell raise their bloodline.

And the prophecy, the girls dawn of the dead. The re the remake was Zach Snyder. I’m all the. Pirates of the Caribbean. Crazy, right? 

Craig: Yeah. This looks pretty good. I was impressed and a lot of the effects. From this point forward when we finally get to the action. Honestly, if I had only started watching it here, if I had started watching it at the home renovation scene and watched it just from there to the end, I think I would’ve liked it a lot better.

I think that first part, oh yeah. I think the whole first part felt. Boring and I don’t care. And these actors are bad and slow. Once it gets to the action, I actually kind of enjoy it. We’re like 50 minutes in here. Yeah. 

Todd: We’re like 

Craig: a, we’re, we’re two thirds of the way movie by now. Right. The girl you know, is waiting in the lake and the killer comes up behind her and breaks her neck.

Well, I mean, she stripped down to 

Todd: everything but. Her underwear Uhhuh. Her panties. Right. That bothered me. Like if you’re gonna strip down to go in the lake, why do you leave your panties on? I don’t understand. Right now 

Craig: you’re gonna have 

Todd: wet panties 

Craig: that can’t be comfortable. Right? That’s the worst. I guess you could just, I guess you could just go commando.

That would be fine. But anyway, then, okay, so he breaks her neck and didn’t leave her in the lake, carries her away. And I thought, ew. Ugh. I don’t know if I wanna know what. What’s going on there, but ultimately I like what’s going on there because at this point then there’s a montage of, while everybody else is gone the night before the haunted house, the killer messes with their setup and sets up a room of his own and like uses big red paint to.

Paint the kill room or something like that on the outside of it. Mm-hmm. And then we cut to the night, you know, the, the night of the Hy House, and there’s a huge line. Now, I kind of expected that this would just be a fraternity sorority thing, but it’s not at all. In fact, the whole community comes. I don’t remember if I said this already or not, but maybe I did.

But it was just so striking to me. At some point near the end, when things go crazy and everybody’s fleeing, a man runs out with a baby. Somebody took a baby. Are you serious? Yes. You didn’t see that? Didn’t notice that. At the end, when everything goes nuts and people are running out of the house, an adult man runs out with an infant, A human, like, not at all.

Oh my gosh. That’s so funny. A human infant in his hands. Why do you have a baby at this? 

Todd: Well, before it gets to the haunted house, you gotta, you gotta mention our little love triangle issue happening here because Kurt. Ends up confronting Bentley while he’s watching Press Your Luck on tv. Bentley was the guy that Mel was hanging out with to try to get Kurt jealous.

Kurt asked him to back off and I love Bentley’s response. He goes, you know what? You’re right. I wasn’t going to do anything, but now, now I think I’ll bone her. He’s 

Craig: like, 

Todd: I 

Craig: think I’ll bone her. I wrote that down too. It was pretty funny. The delivery was the best part of it. It was great. Oh, it was the best.

It was the best. But cut to the haunted house. Right. And the, and the killer is just waiting inside and, and we see what they’ve done and they’ve actually set up a decent haunted house. Yeah. It looks pretty good. The first room that you walk into is the wall of hands, and they, a voice says, stand against the wall.

And they do. And the guys, you know, reach their hands out and grab people and of course, take advantage and feel girls up and stuff. But then there’s a doctor slasher room, and I don’t remember all that’s going on in there, but I remember he has a flame thrower and I was like, uh. Your insurance provider is not gonna approve that.

Todd: This also reminds me of how sometimes these local haunted houses were, instead of just a thing that you walk through and walk past, there would be, you stop, there’s a scene that plays out in front of you. Mm-hmm. You move to the next room, there’s another scene, and God, I don’t know if. If that’s really done anymore, may maybe like, again, the local ones do it, but, uh, I haven’t been in a haunted house in ages that’s, that’s set up like that, but I remember them.

Mm-hmm. Very specifically. So kind 

Craig: of cool. I mean, it’s, it’s not at all Yeah. A bad and, you know, the, the fraternity guys and their girlfriends, I guess are the actors and they’re doing fine. I mean, it. Silly, but it’s what you would expect of a amateur haunted house. Yeah. And in the doctor slasher one, there’s a nurse and she has to go pee.

So she goes outside and we watch her pee. That was weird. That felt fetishy. Yeah. Why did she squat behind a bench to pee? Uh, don’t they have a bathroom out there somehow? I know it’s in it. Well, I guess it’s an abandoned house. I don’t know. Whatever. Then the killer knocks her out and takes, drags her in through the vents.

Wasn’t sure what was going on here. And then listen. Or I, I’m sure it’s pronounced Liston. ’cause that sounds more like a name. Right? But it’s spelled, listen, he is at the keg and he gets knocked out and dragged inside and then it doesn’t matter. But Bentley invites Mel to his van. He says, I’ll be waiting for you, whatever.

And then this now gets to the part of this movie that I legitimately like, mm, the killer has set up his own room in this haunted house. He’s decorated it. We don’t find this out immediately. Very well. Yeah. He’s decorated it very well, in part with the bodies like his mother’s body, the bodies of the people that he’s killed so far.

But the people that he’s just disabled are knocked out. He’s got set up in like different kind of torture traps. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: And when the crowd. Comes in, they think it’s just part of the show and he puts on a show. I loved this part. Yeah, I loved this part. 

Todd: This was awesome. And we’ve talked about this before.

We did it a movie too called Haunt, I think, uh, where this was the same concept, Uhhuh, but we, we’ve talked about this before, how if you’re gonna kill somebody, do it at Halloween. ’cause you can get away with it, probably right in front of people’s faces. 

Craig: Right. 

Todd: And it’s, it’s awesome. The girl is tied up to a chair, right?

And she comes too and he takes the thing off her mouth and she’s like, oh, it’s a rail. It’s not. Act, it’s real. And the crowd’s going, yeah, yeah. Wow, this is so awesome. And then he comes up behind her with a chainsaw. God, I thought he was gonna cut off her head. He just kinda like hacks her neck for a a minute and then, yeah, that was weird.

It flops backward. That was weird actually. That was really poorly done. To be honest, there was like some weird shot from the back of the chainsaw approaching what was obviously a tiny skinny little mannequin neck. And then suddenly there’s a shot from the side and her head’s just back and there’s blood there.

I, I don’t know, 

Craig: it wasn’t great. But then Liston wakes up and again, he’s pleading with the crowd and the crowd’s like, and, and, and the killer who is. Still grabs a baseball bat and the crowd’s like knock his head off and like it’s a whole thing. Like the crowd is so into it and they’re like, man, this is really good.

They’re good actors. And I just loved the setup of it. And, and he does, he messes around and pretends to miss a couple times, but then he knocks list’s head off and it’s clearly a dummy head and I love it. I love that. Yeah. Eighties practical effects. Shit. And it was fun. It was fun. I, I thought it was fantastic.

This is so Halloween, you know? This is reasoning Then, then Bentley’s waiting in his van for Mel and Peewee Herman shows up again and scares him.

Todd: Half propo of nothing. Oh my God, that’s so funny. Uh, he was really, he was like half good as Peewee Herman. It was like, if he had just been a little more He wasn’t bad. No, he wasn’t. But like, he just, just missing that last like 5%. 

Craig: Yeah. I mean, if I met him at a Halloween party, I’d be like, that’s pretty good, bro.

Like, oh yeah, you’d be impressed. Yep. But then Bentley gets dragged away with a noose. Kurt Mel, have another heart to heart and like makeup. And then as though the killer had to have been crouched down just below camera, oh, I love this. And, and, and they’re having this heart to heart and it’s, you know, a shot.

They’re both in profile talking to each other and the killer just pops into frame and knocks their heads together. 

Todd: Yes. I laughed out loud at that. Oh my God, that was funny because also it was funny because of the dialogue that was happening before. It was the worst cheesiest dialogue. You know? I mean, we haven’t had any real chemistry between these two.

Everything has just been very paint by numbers as far as their little scenes and their relationship tension. It’s all been very dumb. And now. Suddenly he runs to her and he’s like, Mel, Mel, I figured some stuff out. I love you. She’s like, I do too. Oh, do you really mean it? And then boom, knocked their heads together.

Oh God, it was so funny. Yeah, 

Craig: the dialogue was terrible. He’s like, I sometimes you just don’t know what you have until you lost it. And she’s like, you never lost me. You always had me. You just didn’t know it. Bang. And then they, and then they get dragged too. Of course. He always had, or what? It’s, it’s been like, what, 24 hours that you guys have Max.

Right, right. So they get dragged inside too. And then there’s a new crowd in the kill room and he is got it set up and he’s in a different mask now. He’s in a werewolf mask. Yeah. And Mel is just duct taped to a wall, and that was great. The killer takes a scalpel and slices her abdomen. Okay, fine.

Recoverable, but then he slices all the way beginning at the base of her hand all the way down her arm. Yeah, with a scalpel and the blood starts coming out. We are to believe later that she is fine and that is ridiculous. She would be dead. Yes. She 

Todd: would’ve bled out of all of this by now. I thought it was clever though, how they had her duct taped to the wall.

What a great way to hide to do the special effects. Yeah, that was smart. Super smart. But, and it was cool. And Kurt’s at the electric chair and he’s like, no, you son up a bitch. And the killer zaps Kurt a couple times, but doesn’t kill him. Bentley, I thought Bentley got hung. He’s got there. You know, Bentley kicks the thing out from under him and he swings until he’s not swinging anymore.

But Hank, I guess these were just sort of fake out moments, right? She should be dead. He should be hung. 

Craig: Oh yeah. He’s been hanging there for a while. He would for sure be dead. 

Todd: Yeah, Hank comes in ’cause he just wanted to check out the haunted house. He got bored running the gate. To see it for what it is.

And he ends up in the room and he goes, this isn’t part of the house. Everybody run and he picks up a blowtorch. 

Craig: He blow torches the chicken wire. It’s not a blowtorch, it’s a flame thrower. Flame thrower. Sorry. Where did they get a flame thrower? 

Todd: Well, we did see it earlier, the doctor, earlier I, we saw 

Craig: it, but, but where did they get it?

Todd: I know. Okay. I know. I thought this was a joke because he uses this on everything. He uses the flame thrower on the chicken wire, which somehow cuts a vertical slit in the chicken wire so he can get in and then he torches the rope in order to set Hank free 

Craig: Bentley. Yeah. 

Todd: A Bentley free. Sorry. Torches the rope and then, oh, he just basically frees everyone.

Yeah. Tears her off the wall and she’s supposedly fine. Basically, everyone in here is actually fine. Uhhuh. I was disappointed in that. And then the killer pops his head up through the vent. He’s been dragging, by the way, I don’t know how he stuffed those bodies down the vent and dragged them in there. But, uh, he pops his head up and Hank torches down the hole and thinks he’s gotten him.

And then Hank stumbles out of the room that he’s been in all of five minutes, like he’s super tired and collapses and, and 

Craig: like cover, like as though he’s been in a burning building, which he’s not like, but he’s covered in like, smoke so and so. Yeah, I don’t get it. And, and nothing happens to him. 

Todd: He was fine.

No. So he spent five minutes freeing these people and now he’s soot covered and exhausted. The killer comes outta the crawl space to very exciting music and stumbles around into some barn or shed. And in the meantime, this is when all the people running out, right, they’re all panicking, is laying in Curtis’s lap on the porch.

Curtis is cradling her. Got her arm straight out with the wound, still completely open going, you’re gonna be fine Mel. You’re gonna be fine. I love you, Curtis. I know. Yes, I know. 

Craig: I’m sorry, I, I just talked over it, but that was so funny to me when. She said, I love you, Kurt. I know, 

Todd: it’s so funny. Oh 

Craig: my God.

Todd: Finally, the sheriff shows up just for the killer to burst outta the bar with the van and drive off past him. Mm-hmm. The killer does stop to puncture the sheriff’s car tire though. And Kurt runs after the van and they do their best to make this look exciting. And actually I was, you know, again for a low budget movie, they didn’t do too bad with this, this van.

Stuff. It bursts out and it knocks over that big sign that we’ve been seeing by the road, and it starts driving down the road. The guy finally takes off his mask and he’s severely burned on one side, but otherwise he looks fairly normal. 

Craig: He’s a handsome guy. 

Todd: Yeah, I was. I was expecting to see something revealing.

I mean, they made a big deal out of it, but it’s just the, 

Craig: the burn makeup looks really good. I mean, in hindsight, and in talking about it for a, a, a relatively amateur production, I think I was just so thrown by the amateur acting that I didn’t. Appreciate other elements of it, but that, that burn makeup looked really good.

And, and you’re right, the, the action effects here. All of the stunt driving, you know, taking out that sign. It, it’s, it’s impressive for what it is really. Yeah. But this next 

part 

Todd: is dumb. Oh, it’s so crazy. The, the van is way down the road. Yeah. And Kurt is standing there at, with a shotgun and he shoots it from God, what is it?

Like a hundred yards at least. Boom. It explodes again. I thought, is this a joke? Are we like, are we supposed to laugh at this? And the whole van bursts into flames and drives off the road where it stops for a minute, but then it starts up again. 

Craig: Yeah, I was, mind you. It explodes. It is engulfed in flame and remains engulfed in flame.

Yeah. And you can see the flames all through it. It is just the frame of this van left. Yes, yes. And like you said, it stops for a second and then it starts back up and drives away. That is, that makes absolutely no sense. 

Todd: It’s so bizarre. Actually. I saw, I skimmed through the, the thing on YouTube, the behind the scenes stuff, and apparently those guys.

Did in fact just rig this van obviously to explode, and they just strapped down the steering wheel so that it would go slightly, right? So it would go off the road and they were just standing there going like, well, we don’t really know where it’s gonna go. We’re just hoping for the best it’s gonna go off the road.

I’m like, you’re gonna let this flaming van just go off the road into the woods forest? Yeah. Which is what they do. Uh, that’s the last shot of the movie. 

Craig: Uh, the, the explosion looks good, but the suggestion that that guy is still alive in there and driving away is ludicrous. Ludicrous. Yeah, it’s pretty, I mean, I, I guess, you know, they’re opening it up for a sequel potentially, but ludicrous.

Sure. And then it just cuts to the end. It ends very abruptly. You know, Kurt standing in the middle of the road, a hundred and some yards away, shoots the thing, it blows up, rolls in the end. Credits. Yep. 

Todd: Fade to Black credits. And then after the credits at the very end coming soon, haunted Ween two. Oh, I didn’t see that.

I didn’t stick around. Oh man. Yeah, there’s a whole haunted Ween theme song over the credits by that. Probably by that same band. And yeah, I don’t think they ever got haunted Ween two out. But yeah, I mean, I just, I found it entertaining. But you’re right, I mean. It’s entertaining because it’s one of those so bad, it’s good movies, but it’s got actually some really good elements in it.

Craig: Yeah. This happens to me fairly regularly. You know, I, I don’t like the movie. I’m not excited about talking about it and then sitting and talking about it and thinking about it. It had some good stuff going on. Yeah. It’s a, it’s not a good movie. It’s a bad movie. But it also doesn’t take itself seriously.

It doesn’t, it doesn’t take itself seriously. I think maybe that’s part of the problem that I had with it. I, I didn’t feel like it was balanced. There are the parts of it that are so ludicrous and, you know, remind me, maybe not to the extent of student bodies, but like, it seems kind of like they’re going for that kind of humor.

It’s kind of few and far between. I think that the stuff between Kurt and Mel, like the romantic or or relationship drama, I think that was meant to be funny. Yeah, I just don’t think it read. No. Yeah, I just don’t think it read right for me. Like I, I didn’t feel the intention, I guess, which is asking a lot of a low budget movie like this, so I shouldn’t be so critical.

And it is Halloween-y and if you haven’t seen it, it’s, you know, it’s all right. There are things to appreciate about it. You could skip the first, what, 45 minutes? Half hour, 45 minutes. ’cause the last, 

Todd: yeah, 

Craig: half hour, 40 minutes. 

Todd: Are fun. Yeah, you’re right. It’s honestly, sadly, you can skip the first 50 minutes.

You know, it’s like you basically need to skip the first two thirds of the movie to get to the really good stuff. But I dunno, maybe I’m just a little biased in, in that I could have seen myself making a movie like this. I get in college. You know, putting some friends together and doing it. And so I always find this charming, just an attempt at doing this, and the massive amount of effort and money that it takes to put it together.

If you come up with something that’s even halfway decent, good for you. Yeah. And if it’s entertaining. Enough. Like that’s what a movie’s supposed to do. You know? It doesn’t have to be polished to be entertaining. And by the end of this, I had a smile on my face and it was a movie. Especially when you watch it around Halloween, I think it hits different than if you were to watch it say in the middle of the summer or something like that.

Sure. ’cause it’s just got that vibe. Yeah. I was glad we watched it and I really enjoyed it for what it was. I’m not mad about it. Good. Because when we started out, I thought you were gonna be a bit mad about it. So No, I’m not mad about it. All right. Yeah, well the, uh, the director didn’t run off to do anything else.

Like I said, just the makeup artist went on to do a million things and it seems to be quite successful in Hollywood. Major big budget productions. And then the gal who played Mel Blade Pickett, uh, this was like her screen debut and she was since, in like 27 other movies. Mostly looks like kind of soft core erotica from the mid nineties and up.

Stuff like Hot Lust and Confessions of a Lap Dancer. Butterscotch how sweet it is, and the exotic house of wax. If you didn’t see enough of her, seems like you, you can see a lot more of her in more ways than one. Mm. By, uh, checking out her, her work from, from 1991 to 1998. Is that the note we’re gonna end on as me talking about, I guess these yield lech?

Fair enough. All right. Well, no, you know what? She was also doing stunts in Ace Ventura Pet Detective in 94, so 

Craig: she was very beautiful. She reminded me of, I think that Patricia Arquette is gorgeous and sexy, but like a more stereotypically sexy Patricia Ark. 

Todd: Yes. 

Craig: Exactly. 

Todd: Well, thank you guys so much for listening.

Happy Halloween to you. Happy Halloween. Yay. We love bringing you our show and our MO movies during this season. If you enjoyed it, please share this with a friend and write us a review online. Wherever you write your review. Go to our website, chainsaw horror.com. Leave us a message. Let us know what you did for Halloween.

Just send some good wishes our way, and we will definitely share them on air. If you click that talk to us, link on our website, you can just record a nineties. Second message that we’ll play. And, uh, we’re, we’re heading into November and it’s pretty soon into December where we’re gonna have some Christmas movies coming up.

So get your requests in now for any of the Christmas horror movies you think we should cover during that month. Until next time, I am Todd. And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

We continue our Halloween Horror series with ‘Cursed Friends’ (2022). In this episode, we discuss the film’s production by Comedy Central, its nostalgic feel, and blend of horror and comedy elements.

We breeze through the plot, noteworthy performances, and the many cameos from popular comedians, including Kathy Griffin and teen heartthrob, Joey Fatone. If you’re looking for a light, Halloween-themed comedy, this episode is for you.

Don’t forget to leave your comments; we’d love to hear your thoughts!

Episode 462, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: Well, here we are, week three into our, uh, Halloween Horror series of movies. Try to pick from different eras and different kinds of movies. This would be our second horror comedy that we’ve done. This is a little more recent than Idle Hands that we did last week.

This is right, 2020 Two’s Cursed Friends, I think. Is, was this like one of those sort of Saturday Night Live sort of produced things or It 

Craig: was Comedy Central.

Todd: Uh Ah, that’s it. 

Craig: Comedy Central, I read at the time was kind of trying to branch out from just producing like standup specials, which Comedy Central standup specials are.

Great. Yeah. But they, they were trying to branch out. They wanted to do some original content and some original films, and I think that this was one of their first goes, so it was specifically made for cable television. And you can tell because there are clear cuts for commercials. Yeah, I noticed that. And that, that honestly doesn’t bother me.

It’s actually kind of nostalgic to me. Hmm. A lot of. Movies that I really liked when I was a kid were made for TV movies. I feel like the Made for TV movie has gone very hallmark. And, you know, there are certain, I, I don’t know what I’m trying to get at. You know, these, these romance like trope like Yeah.

Tropes, you know? Yeah. Kind of like they churn ’em out. Yeah. This city girl in the country boy. Or the country boy in the city Girl. Or the city Boy in the country. Boy. And you know, like it’s, yeah. Around Christmas time 

Todd: usually. 

Craig: Oh, for every holiday they have ’em. And Yeah. You know, we’ve even done one, I think that was, you know, kind of a horror spoof on that, which was fun.

I don’t have any problem with those kind of, they’re not my cup of tea. Sure. But I know that a lot of people, those are people’s 

Todd: comfort movies. Like, oh, they’re wildly popular. It’s like the books, you know, romance is just such a huge genre and, and people can never get enough of them. 

Craig: Yeah. And that’s great.

So I don’t, I have absolutely no problem with. TV movies, which this is, but you know, I’ve seen this before. I don’t remember if going in the first time I knew that, but it is pretty apparent. I, I, I wouldn’t say that that’s also necessarily any commentary on its quality. I mean, it’s right, the, the production is fine.

Production value’s good. 

Todd: It’s not amazing, but it’s, it’s, it’s not poor either. The acting’s fine. I mean, it’s silly. So the acting’s gonna be kind of silly. You suggested this one though. What, what was it that drew you back to it? Did I that made you, did I Yeah. You did. You don’t remember? No, I don’t remember honestly.

Craig: Uh, maybe just pulled it from a list, probably behind the scenes. I have been super. Crazy busy. Yeah. All month. There’s been a lot going on for me at work and in my personal life and we’ve been trying to coordinate this and Todd’s been, initially, I think I shot some titles and then you shot some titles back and then I was just.

Checked out. Yeah. You kept, you kept sending me things like, what are we gonna do? And I’m like, I don’t care. 

Todd: It’s been a weird season for both of us, honestly. Like the last few months. I know. We even missed a week because of it, so, uh, it’s okay. We’ll give ourselves a break every now and then, I suppose.

Craig: Yeah. It’s just, it’s, it’s, it’s too bad because I know that both of us. So enjoy this month. Like we look forward to it every year and we talk about, you know, all year long we talk about, oh, maybe we should think about this for Halloween. It’s one of our favorite months, but both of us have just been, there’s just been a lot going on.

Todd: It’s been overshadowed by a lot of other shit. 

Craig: Yeah. So when you sent me this title, I was like, cool, great, whatever. And then you were kind of having difficulty finding it, right? So I found it, and when I found it. I realized that I had seen it before. I see. But I didn’t really remember anything about it.

And in fact, I had it confused with something else. I remembered that it was a horror comedy, but for some reason, and it doesn’t make any logical sense, but for some reason I had it confused with a horror comedy that I saw recently called The Blackening. Oh yeah. Which is actually funnier and. I think you would’ve enjoyed more 

Todd: probably than this one.

So you, it’s so funny you sent me a, a text saying, you’re gonna hate this movie. I watched it See you one Sunday. I just, I just thought, man, you know me so well. I, I didn’t hate the movie. You set me up to hate the movie. Maybe that was a little unfair. I shouldn’t have done that. But no, it’s fair. I, I didn’t hate the movie, but you’re right in your sentiment that this is not really, I don’t wanna say this isn’t my cup of tea.

What do, do I sound like a grouch If you know there’s some wacky comedy, I say I don’t like it. No, I don’t know. It’s just not what I am kind of in the mood for most of the time. This is just one of those, again, a Saturday night lifestyle, a joke, a second kind of movie where everybody’s quippy and everybody’s funny.

Yeah. And lots of people are overacting. Scary movie. Yeah. Yeah. Really, what do you call it? Stereotypical characters, wacky situations, physical comedy, all that. I love all that stuff, don’t get me wrong. Sure. But you put it all together in one package and there’s no gore. There’s no. Yeah. Is there, I don’t think there’s any gore.

I don’t remember there being any gore. No. 

Craig: And, and to be fair, this movie is very halloweeny, which is great, and I love that about it. Yeah, it’s a good choice for that. Yes. But it, it’s a Halloween comedy. Yeah. You know, not scary. It’s not scary and it’s not intended to be scary, but it is a comedy very much in the spirit of Halloween.

Yeah. So if, if you’re just a, if you’re a big horror hound and, and you’re looking for horror, you’re not gonna find it here. I mean, there, you know, there are Halloween costumes and there’s. Spirits and there’s a curse and there’s a big snake and there, you know, like there’s all these fun Halloween things.

Yeah. But it’s like Halloween party. It’s like, it’s like, it’s like your elementary school Halloween party. It’s, it’s just covered in Halloween, but it’s not scary. 

Todd: Yeah. It’s just kind of fun. Halloween. Yeah. Traditional type stuff and things in the background and the setting. Yeah. It’s not a trick our treat or anything like that.

Right, right. It’s. Not dripping with Halloween atmosphere in that way. It’s just, yeah, like you said, like going to Walmart and walking down the aisle and seeing those plastic masks with the right plastic bag, you know, outfits underneath them. That kind Halloween, it’s festive. Yeah, it’s festive and 

Craig: it’s fun and it like, it really does feel celebratory of.

The holiday and the season, and it seems like they were having a good time with it, and I like that. I ultimately agree with you that it, it’s funny and there are funny bits and it’s got good actors and it’s well produced. It’s just to watch an hour and 25 minutes of it or whatever it is. It just, it, it’s kinda like, okay.

I, yeah. Like too much. Let’s, let’s move it along. Huh. But that’s not to say it’s not fun and it is just absolutely chock full of comics and comic actors. Yeah. Very, very, very talented. Yeah. Working comic actors and comedians, many of whom I am big fans of. And it’s fun to see all of them in it. And each of them is very funny.

In it. Mm-hmm. It’s just kind of as a whole movie, it just kind of starts to feel like a lot. I I, I, I feel like I’m talking it down too much. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it. I did, I, I thought it was fun. It’s just not nec, I don’t think it’s something that necessarily warrants repeat viewing. 

Todd: Right. Anyway.

Yeah. You see the joke once and. You laugh at it and you don’t really wanna see it again. You know, it’s a one trick pony. It’s not that kind of, yeah. For me, it’s not that kind of comedy. I’m gonna be coming back to and, and being, oh, remember that part? You know, kind of thing. It, there’s just so much. There’s so much, yeah.

Just thrown at you and it’s all very, very light and tone, which is nice. Yeah. And it moves. I mean, it really does move. It’s not like it gets boring, it just gets almost overwhelming after a while, you know? Right. 

Craig: And I, I, you mentioned before that there’s no gore, there’s not, there’s nothing shocking or scary.

I would say that this is probably appropriate for kids. Yeah. Except for like, if, if you were to nitpick and, and if anything it wouldn’t be the scary stuff or the gross stuff or anything. There’s language and innuendo. That would be the only thing. Yeah, there’s a lot of sexual humor 

Todd: in here. 

Craig: Yeah, I, I mean, I don’t know.

A lot could go over your head. I think would just go over kids’ heads. Yeah, I’m, I’m thinking specifically the, the subway scene. That’s exactly what I was gonna say. So one of the main characters is played by, okay. So her name is Mikayla and she’s played by Nicole Byer. And I’m a big fan of hers. She’s very funny.

I’ve seen her in standup, I’ve seen her in sitcoms. She’s guest hosted the, how did this get made podcast? Several times. She’s hilarious. She’s doing a lot. Oh my god. She works all the time. She’s hilarious in this movie, and we’ll talk about the premise in a second, but part of her premise is that Joy Fatone playing himself is under a love spell, basically, and is super into her.

And she works in a submarine shop and he comes in. And the second he sees her, it just starts flirting with her. Their flirting is just filled with innuendo about his big hot Italian sub. And how much meat? Oh, there’s lots of meat. This is just full of. She ends up squirting mayo all over it. Is it fat? Oh man.

Make it fat. Do do you like it wet? Oh, yeah, baby. Meanwhile, I mean, they’re looking at each other. I, I, she’s. You know, I ing am and probably like licking her lips and shit. And then she starts squirting the mayo and he’s like, I like a lot. I like, oh yeah, keep going. Uh uh, it, it was funny. So it was, there are funny scenes like that.

And I will also say that I’ve seen Joy fatone in a lot both. Playing himself and acting as other characters. He’s talented too. He’s a funny guy. 

Todd: And if you don’t know who Joey Fatone is, he’s one of the members of NSYNC from back in the right, in the nineties. Yeah. He’s talented. Yeah, he’s cute. He’s, he still looks the same, just a little, you know, like all of us.

Put on a little weight, got a little older, but, 

Craig: oh, well, he, I mean, he’s handsome. He. He was, you know, they make a joke about it in the movie. That’s another thing that I like about Joey Fatone, is that he can totally take a joke and he is totally down at making jokes at his own expense. Mm-hmm. And I love somebody like that, you know, that guy’s got NSYNC money, you know?

Yeah. If I, if I had NSYNC money, I’d be like, yeah, I can make fun of myself. That’s cool. But like, you know, he was of the guys. It just so happens that his name is F-A-T-O-N-E, so he was Joey Fat one because he was always heavier than the other guys back in those days when he was in his twenties. He was pretty lean These days.

He looks like a typical healthy. Middle-aged guy, but he’s happy to lean into the jokes and I appreciate that. And I feel like that’s true of all these people. It’s one, it’s one of those deals where it kind of opens in the middle of the movie and then we cut back, so Right. The first thing we see is Will Anette leading a seance and he calls out to.

Some spirit or something, and purple smoke goes in his mouth and he gets possessed. And the possessed voice says, you bitches are so, and then one of these four friends who are sitting there at the seance say, we never should have played that fucking game. Then it cuts to 20 years earlier, Sherman Oaks, California, and we’re introduced to these four friends and they’re dressed as nsync and it’s cute.

Another positive thing about this movie that I think a lot of people, especially people our age are, you know, within a 10 year younger range of us would appreciate is it’s really nostalgic. You know, these kids are millennials and so they grew up in the late nineties, early two thousands, so they’re dressed as nsync and some kid is dressed as.

Borat or something like, yeah, there are tons of references and there are tons of great music cues and music throwbacks that are really nostalgic in a way that I thought was really fun. There are so many good elements of this movie to the point that, and I, you know, I usually wait until the end to say this.

I would never steer you away from this, especially at. Halloween time, right? Like it’s a fun movie, especially if you’ve never seen it before. It’s fun and you’ll have a few laughs and you could maybe watch it at a little cocktail 

Todd: party at your house. It’s, it’s that kind of thing. You can duck in and out of it, it’s fine.

Yeah. But 

Craig: you kept saying SNL and it is like that in that it’s basically vignettes. It’s, it’s little scenes. I guess the exposition in the beginning is important and then it kind of devolves into little vignettes, right? But the exposition is that they go to this big spooky house and they knock on the door, and a crazy spooky lady answers the door and her name is something Sunshine, something.

Sarah, friendship. Sarah Friendship, Sarah Friendship played 

Todd: by Kathy Griffin. 

Craig: Yeah. I am a big Kathy Griffin fan. Huge. And like I’m, I’m kind of going through a Kathy Griffin Renaissance right now. Oh really? Are you? Yeah, I am. What is the Kathy Griffin Renaissance? Well, she recently. Launched a podcast called Kathy Griffin.

Talk your head off. Do you get it? It’s hilarious because she got in big, big trouble for that silly picture that she posted with her holding a a Halloween mask of Trump’s. Head. Ah, yeah. Covered in fake blood. Forgot. And she was, I forgot about that. She was like holding a knife or something and she was just holding up.

Oh my gosh. Well, if you’re a fan of hers, you wouldn’t because she just got canceled. The president, the president and the federal government tried not only to destroy her career but her life. Wow. They tried to charge her with conspiracy to assassinate a president. Like legitimately, they were pursuing these charges.

Of course, they couldn’t put it all together. I think that they were also, you know, the threat of it was intimidation. You know, she was on the no fly list. You know, worldwide, all, all kinds of stuff. It was ridiculous. It was meant to be a joke. And I got the joke. It was dark, but I thought it was kind of funny.

But they also tried, you know, they tried successfully to cancel her career. She was canceled, and not only was she canceled, I mean she was on a huge tour. The entire tour got shut down. Not only was she canceled, but her s her. High profile celebrity friends who had been very, she hosted New Year’s Eve at CNN with Anderson Cooper for years, and they were close personal friends and he dropped her so fast and, and that happened with almost everybody.

There were only a few. Anderson Cooper. Wow. Yeah. Oh yeah. Anderson Cooper and the other Andy. Andy Cohen. ’cause she used to do a lot of work on e and Anderson. Andy Cohen dropped her like a hot potato too. And now. When he’s asked about her, he pretends he doesn’t know her. Like it’s so petty. Oh, weird. Wow.

And, and I’m, I’m a fan of both those guys too, but I think that was shitty. I, I don’t think you abandoned a friend like that, but I’m, I’m sure they were concerned for their own careers as well. But, and I know this isn’t the Kathy Griffin episode. I, I think I’m gonna like. I think I’m gonna like tweet her and tell her that we talked about her on this episode and I bet a million dollars she’ll listen to it and maybe she’ll, maybe she’ll mention us on her podcast and she is a lot more listeners than we do.

She is in her renaissance. Yeah, but they did. Okay. So they did effectively. Cancel her career. She couldn’t, I mean, up until that point, she literally held the Guinness World Record for the largest number of standup specials produced, I think. Wow. Period. Certainly by women, a hundred percent by women. But I think period, she has done so many.

She works all the time. She’s a hard worker. You know, that’s what she loves to do. She loves to work, and they took that away from her. Ugh. And she couldn’t get work anywhere. For like five or six years, and it’s only been in the last couple of years that people have been coming back slowly and she’s, she’s getting some gigs and she’s got this podcast now and, and she’s gaining some popularity on the podcast and she’s still just doing the same thing that she always did, which is just tells stories.

Hmm. She’s an interesting comedian. She’s not a joke teller, she’s not a joke writer. She just tells stories about experiences that she’s had with celebrities and she’s got good ones. But, so she’s back and, and she. Produced herself, funded herself a new special and shopped it around, couldn’t sell it. So last week she released it for free on YouTube, and Alan and I watched it.

It’s two hours long. She said that’s one of the reasons that she couldn’t sell it was because any place that bought it would’ve forced her to cut it down to 50 minutes. Oh. And she didn’t want to. So it’s a, it’s two hours of her live on stage. If you are a fan or have ever been a fan of her comedy, watch it.

It’s. Hilarious. And I’m so happy that she’s back in the game back. ’cause I think that she’s hilarious. Yeah. Yeah. I think that she’s hilarious and, and she didn’t deserve to be canceled for something so stupid. No. Gosh, it’s, it’s terrible. I don’t want to get too political, but that was stupid. But she’s in this movie and she’s very funny.

Yeah. Oh, I should also mention that in that time she got lung cancer and she never smoked a day in her life. She doesn’t drink, she’s never had a drink of alcohol. Wow. She got lung cancer and they had to remove half of one of her lungs. Oh my God. And in doing that, in doing the surgery to remove half of her lung, her surgeon, this reputable Hollywood surgeon, accidentally sliced her vocal cord.

What? And left. And left her virtually unable to speak at all. 

Todd: What? She could only talk like this for about two or three years. 

Craig: Oh my God. And so, not only had her career been destroyed, but then the instrument that she uses for her job. Was taken from her too, and she got into a really dark place. You should watch her special.

She talks all about it. Wow. But she’s also very good friends with the singer Sia. And Sia being a singer, knows all the best voice people. And she said, she told Kathy, there’s this surgeon, this female surgeon that can put an implant in your vocal cords and you’ll get most of your voice back. And she did.

She still sounds a little bit different than she did before. Her surgeries, but so much better than it was before and she’s able to work again. And that’s my Kathy Griffin tribute. I’ll wow. If we’re still, if we’re still doing this in 30 years. Knock on wood. When Kathy Griffin dies, I’ll talk about her again, but she has a bit part in this movie as the villain, A recurring bit part, I mean, kind of villain or whatever.

She, they go to her house and she’s like, oh, I’m sorry, I don’t have any candy. And she’s all weird and witchy and fun and funny, and she’s like. Let me see what I got. And she’s like, oh, how about a book? And they’re like, oh, that’s lame, whatever. But she gives them this book and they go on their way and I don’t know, she looks ominously honest.

As they leave, they, when at the end of the night, they all go back to the main girl’s house. Erica played by Jessica Lowe, who I know I’ve seen in things, but I can’t think of anything specifically. They all go back to her house and dump out their candy and they’re like, oh, what’s this weird book we got?

And it turns out it’s mash. Something. Something 

Todd: by Sarah. Friendship. Yeah. Mansion apartment, Shaq house. Have you heard of this before? It’s a real game. Oh God. We played this all the time. Yeah. Okay. Sure. Didn’t you play this whole time when 

Craig: you were a kid? 

Todd: I mean, I remember it. I, I did not play it all the time.

I, I always felt it was kind of a, kind of a girly thing, Todd. It was, it was dumb, but it was, it still time stupid. We, we didn’t have phones. No. It’s the kind of thing we would play all the time. Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. We, we were forced to be creative and actually do things together rather than just be. On our phones all the time.

Now 

Todd: we sound like grumpy old guys. 

Craig: It was silly, but it was something when you were bored that you would just sit around and do with your friends. I mean, it would be the equivalent of, I don’t know, playing tic-tac toe or something. It was just, yeah, a little bit more interesting and And fun like Mad Libs and stuff.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Like that. And it was. Kind of, I don’t know. In hindsight, I feel like it would be a good game for kids to play together because it would be a good way to kind of get to know each other. Mm-hmm. Like the things that you’re interested in. That’s true, because what it is, it’s like a square.

And each square, or, no, it’s I, it’s I what? It’s a spiral, I think. But anyway, there are four sides to it, and it’s like you have four slots that are places that you could live. And if you go by the actual rules, it’s a mansion, apartment, a shack, or house. But we bent the rules all the time. And then one of the four was who you’re gonna marry.

So you would list four people and you could list people you actually knew, or celebrities or whoever you wanted to. And then one was what your job was gonna be, and then. I think I remember the other side being like, how much money you were gonna make or something. Yeah. But I feel like in this movie, they make it how you’re gonna die.

How you’re gonna die. 

Todd: Which I thought was gonna be a bigger thing in the, in the movie. Yeah. It’s not at all. It’s not at all. It especially because at one point, you know, one of the characters goes back to this book as an adult, you know, we’ll talk about that in a minute. And he sees that what his, that bit is smudged off.

So the running gag is, he doesn’t know how he’s going to die. I thought that would be a bigger deal and it just kind of. Pops in as a joke once or twice, and 

Craig: only with him, which is kind of weird because it seems like everybody else finished the game too. But that never plays in, it never plays into anybody else.

Todd: To me, that would be the whole, the whole horror of the movie would be, I know everybody would be focusing razor sharp on that bit. How am I gonna die? What was this preed? Because everything else comes true. And then I think the whole thing would be like a big ass final destination deal, you know? Well, 

Craig: and, and maybe that’s why they chose not to do it because they wanted the other.

People, I don’t know. The other stuff is coincidentally funny ’cause they all play the game or whatever, and then Erica’s like, oh look, there’s a poem. And she starts to read it, but she gets interrupted by her mom. So cut to a bunch of years later and we come back to all these people as adults, 20. And Erica is like, Erica’s like an ad exec or something.

I don’t know. Mikayla works at a sub shop. She’s a single mom. Andy, who’s the gay one? He’s played by Harvey. I don’t know how to pronounce his last name, Gian, maybe. He is an up and coming guy too. I’m seeing him in a lot of stuff and he’s very funny. Yeah, he’s funny. I guess I shouldn’t make presumptions, but I would assume that he’s gay because he typically plays a somewhat flamboyant gay character as he does here.

They’re the core three, like they’re the best friends. But Erica’s brother Josh, who’s played by. Andre Andrew, Andrew Lewis Caldwell. 

Todd: Did he become French all of a sudden? Andrew, Andrew, Luis Andrew

Craig: again. Another guy that I’ve definitely seen is Stephanie. He’s funny, but I don’t really know him from anything in particular. He isn’t part of the core three, which is kind. It’s, you know, it’s. A part of the plot that he wants to be, but they let him hang out, but he’s not, and spoiler alert, by the end, they become the core four.

Okay, whatever. So it’s the four of them and we just kind of get a little bit of insight into their life, the good and the bad. Erica’s boss is played by Nikki Glaser, who is super hot right now. Have you ever seen any of her stand up? No, you should. She’s very sharp, she’s very smart. She’s also very beautiful and, you know, has blonde hair and so she makes a joke of, of being a stupid, oh, I’m just a stupid woman, but she’s obviously very bright and very sharp, and very, very funny.

Her comedy is really cutting and fast. It’s really good. 

Todd: Oh yeah. Okay. Maybe I have seen her, actually. 

Craig: She’s doing very well right now, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you had seen her somewhere. And I’m glad that she’s doing well, but she’s very talented anyway, as adults now, they meet at the bar and they get drunk and they go back to Erica’s house and her door is open and like all of this, you know, they try to do spooky stuff.

Like we are in a spooky Halloween movie. Like, oh no, the door’s open. I hope nobody’s in there. But it’s always really just a setup for a joke and, and when they go in, they hear. Sex noises. Mm-hmm. They’re like, is it a sexy ghost? What’s happening? It’s just her brother, adult brother Josh jerking off and they talk for a second, and then the power goes out.

So Erica goes down to like flip the breaker or whatever, and Kathy Griffin, Sarah, friendship. Appears briefly and then disappears. Yeah. And Erica finds the book again and they are like, oh look, do you guys remember this? And they look at it and they review everything for us so that we can remember and know what the setup of the movie is.

So here, here’s how their games, here’s how their games turned out. Oh, you wrote it down. I’m proud of, it’s, IM, it’s important. I mean like, because it’s, these are the things that keep happening to them and it takes them a little while to realize it. It’s clever. I like it. Ultimately they’re like, oh, no, it’s happening.

Todd: I think the whole concept is actually very clever. Mm-hmm. It was a really good idea. Honestly, it’s executed pretty well. Like I said, I thought they missed a, you know, missed kind of an opportunity there to make it a little more horror to kind of focus on the death thing. But like you said, I think, I guess I can understand why they didn’t really want to Right.

That could kind of overtake everything else. That’s what I think too. So, yeah, it was a great concept. 

Craig: I, I, I do too. But the way things turned out is Erica lives in a shack. She’s a plumber and she married Eddie Fish, Bain, who was this boy that she had a crush on when they were kids. But I guess as they grew up, he kind of became a nerd and she’s gonna have a hundred kids.

That was what the other one was. How many kids are you gonna have anyway? Oh, that’s it. And you’d always be like 

Todd: 1, 2, 4, a thousand.

Craig: Okay, so Andy, the cute, lovable gay guy, he lives in a house. He drives a segue. He’s a cult leader and he marries their geography. Teacher Mikayla is gonna live in a mansion. She’s gonna be a pro wrestler. Now, me just saying all these things, listing them off, I’m thinking about the things that come up later and I’m like, this is funny.

It’s clever. She holds the record for the longest fingernails. And she’s married to Joey Fatone. The reason it’s funny is because all of these things come true, right in really hilarious ways. Josh is a grave digger. He’s got a pet snake and he’s gonna die. It’s smudged. Doesn’t know, so we don’t know. It’s smudged.

Yeah. So unlike the time when they were kids, Erica finishes reading the poem a lot aloud. And in the night while they’re all sleeping, the book glows and we see it glowing purple from outside the house. And then they wake up the next day and they start going about their days and just. By coincidence and circumstance, all of these things that were predicted by the MASH game start to happen in really funny ways.

And I knew that talking about this was gonna be difficult because it’s really difficult to explain comedy, you 

Todd: know, like 

Craig: Right. Yeah. It, it’s not gonna be funny when I say it. It like it, it’s funny in the moment because it, it pops up kind of out of nowhere and you don’t know what’s coming. Me just telling you what happens isn’t gonna be that great.

So maybe we should just highlight a few things. I don’t know. 

Todd: Yeah, I think that’s better. Just kind of hit the things that stood out to us. And honestly, this is a perfect time to tell everybody if you really are interested in seeing this movie, and I think you should if you’re into, if you wanna see a nice, fun comedy for the.

Holiday season with a lot of great comics in it and good performances and everything. Just stop the podcast and go watch it. Yeah, don’t listen to us. Rehash the shit you’re gonna, you’re gonna see. 

Craig: Yeah. You know, it would, it would be it like Todd referred to before. It would be like if at the Monday morning water cooler, I tried to tell you about all the Saturday night Live ski.

Like Right. And people do that and it’s annoying and like, I mean, sure, you’ll kind of get the gist of why it’s funny, but then if you go back to watch it, you’re already gonna know what to expect. So it probably won’t hit the same way. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: So I agree and it is a funny comedy and if you’re into horror comedies, especially silly, goofy horror comedies, like you might actually really like this because again, there are great people in it and there are like fun surprise cameos of people popping up.

Todd: I’m kind of sort of thinking of it as like the parenting light. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Remember when we did the parenting? 

Craig: Yeah. It took me a second, but yes. 

Todd: Yeah, it is like that, but far lighter. Agreed. You know that that one actually had a, a lot of references to horror movies and horror itself in it. It was a dark, it got dark at places, even though it really kept its comedic tone, had a lot of comedians in it and things like that.

I think if you liked that movie and you were looking for, for example. The Hallmark version of it. This is what this one is, in a way. You know what I mean? Yeah. Except for the 

Craig: swearing. The swearing is there. Yeah. No, except for the swearing and sexual innuendo, and I don’t know. I mean, they were targeting a particular audience.

They were targeting the comedy central art audience, which is not, which is why in broader, yeah. These are people who typically watch, you know, if they’re going to Comedy Central, they’re probably going to Comedy Central for standup specials, or you know, really irreverent. Sketch comedy or, or whatever. So this, it’s not, it’s not targeted towards kids, but it, it is lighter.

It it, mm-hmm. It definitely feels lighter. Okay. So, you know, some, some funny things. E the first thing Erica goes to, she, she’s already announced to her friends that she’s gonna be Princess Peach and she goes to open her. Luggage to get her costume out. And she’s like, oh, darn it, I’ve never messed up packing before.

That’s kind of her main character trait is that she’s the straight edge one and she is the problem solver and kinda Type A. Type A totally. And she’s like, I never screw up packing. And she pulls out a costume and apparently she switch and her boyfriend calls and he’s wearing the Princess Peach costume and the costume that she pulls out is Mario.

Very clever. That’s funny. So she becomes the plumber. She becomes the plumber, Uhhuh. And then, you know, other, I don’t remember the sequence of things because the sequence of things barely matters. But at some point there’s a problem with the toilet. And I think her brother comes in, is like, well, you have to lift up the tank, you know, to really see what’s going on.

And he lifts it up in a giant snake. Jumps out and attacks her and you know, she throws it in the tub or whatever. And then there’s a big gag about how McKayla’s on the phone or somebody’s on the phone and was like, if it’s a venomous snake, you have to suck it out. So get to sucking. So the brother has to like give the sister a hickey.

It’s all very silly. Yeah. Sketchy comedy that, like I said, is not gonna sound very funny. When I’m talking about it, I actually thought that scene was really funny, but it, it just introduces the fact that these things are coming true. She’s a plumber, she’s working on a toilet. She’s dressed as Mario, who is a plumber.

A snake pops out of the toilet. So now her brother has a snake, which was one of the predictions. Mm-hmm. And it just keeps going on like that. I don’t know. Were there other things that you specifically remember? Like we already talked about Mikayla and Joy Fatone. That starts to come true at some point.

She’s dressed as a werewolf. I love her werewolf costume. I’m a big fan of Nicole Byers. She’s hilarious, but she’s dressed as a werewolf and at one point she takes off her gloves and she’s got these crazy long fingernails, and then she has them for the rest of the movie, and at some point. Because eventually they figure out what’s going on and they’re like, we have to figure out how to undo this or break the spell, or whatever.

But there’s also some kind of going back and forth because McKayla’s stuff isn’t that bad. Like yeah, Joey Fatone is super into her. He’s invited her to his Halloween party at his mansion, which 

Todd: they go to. Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Which they go to. She, you know, she’s got these. Giant fingernails, which is kind of gross or whatever.

But also later in the movie, she’s able to put, to use her professional wrestling skills in a moment that I thought was hilarious. Like it just comes out of nowhere. Like they’re in a pickle and all of a sudden she just body slams somebody and she’s like, I’m a professional wrestler bitch. And even, and even at one point when they’re talking about like, you know, if we can’t break the spell, what does that mean?

She’s like, I don’t know. I’m kind of, okay. I’m even kind of getting used to these nails. Like, she’s fine. It’s funny, 

Todd: but at some point they, they do wanna break the spell and they do some research online and they find that there was a woman, what was her name? Emily or Erica? Something. I don’t know. Erica.

And this is, 

Craig: they find, right, they find out. That it’s happened before. They do the classic trope of horror movie library research. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. Yep. They search, um, and they search the 

Craig: newspapers, 

Todd: the Emily Sunshine or whatever friendship, Emily. Friendship or whatever, 

Craig: Sarah. Friendship. Defense, like the Twine defense or whatever.

Mm-hmm. And they read this case about this girl who killed her friend. Or something. And she was a beekeeper and her friend was like a, 

Todd: what was he? 

Craig: A chef? Celebr or something? Something, yeah. Celebrity chef or something like that. And, and she killed him. And they’re like, oh my gosh, a beekeeper and a chef.

Is there anything more mashed than that? And they’re like, we gotta find this girl. So they go and they find her at a mental institution. That has a specific name that I didn’t write down that’s important later, but they go to visit her and she’s played by Nicole Richie. Yeah. I’m also a big Nicole Richie fan.

Nicole Richie isn’t an actress. I mean, she’s really an heiress. She’s Lionel Richie’s daughter. She’s a nepo baby, right? Um, but she’s also a business woman. I think she’s in fashion and retail and she does very well for herself. I like her. I, I think she’s very smart. I think she’s got a very shrewd personality and a very funny sense of humor.

And she’s also somebody who is happy to be self-deprecating and make fun of herself and, and be really silly in this type of thing. Alan and I watched The Simple Life that really dumb Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Oh yeah. Reality show from show, the nineties show. That was a classic and we thought it was the.

Funniest thing we had ever seen. Like it was so stupid. It was so vapid and stupid, but she was hilarious on it. And I’m still a fan of her. So she placed this crazy lady, and basically all she tells them was, yeah, I had to kill my friend. That’s the only way to stop it. And they’re like, are you sure you stopped it?

And she’s like, does it look like I live in a shack? 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: And they’re like, no. And she’s like, well, unless you see my best friend driving around in a monster truck and having triplets and something else, I don’t know. Yes, it works. So they think they have, so they think they have to kill somebody. 

Todd: Yeah, that’s what she says.

They gotta kill somebody. So then they kind of, and she’s, they’re like, well, we gotta kill all of our husbands or whatever. Or significant others. Or one of ‘

Craig: em, I 

Todd: think. I think it’s like, no one of them. Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Now it’s just sort of a case of, well, who are they gonna choose? And they kind of zero in on the one that I think the one girl kinda likes the least.

Right. The dorky guy. Fish Bain. Yeah, fish Bain. That’s right. Well, I mean, 

Craig: none of them want to do it. None of them wanna kill anybody. No, of course not. But he’s the most convenient. He’s, he’s already popped up, you know. And he was their Uber driver a couple of times. So 

Todd: that’s how he gets to them. Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah.

We know that he’s around and this is a possibility or whatever, and so they, they also know that they can find him and, and nobody wants to do it, but she, I guess, decides that she’s gonna take one for the team. So. Well, what’s kind 

Todd: of cute about this whole thing is that she actually gets kind of into him.

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: She goes over to his house to kind of pretend, to be like to a, a date, like immediately is what she does. And she’s guzzling down wine so that she can kind of get through it and, you know, she’s supposed to lure him out to this cabin in the woods basically, that they’re all gonna be at. And as he’s talking, she’s like laughing at his jokes and you can tell it’s sincere, you know?

And, and so there for a while. Yeah. She’s like kind of into him and, and it’s cute. I thought that was kind of a cute, sweet twist. So, yeah, I, I, what’s his name, ends up becoming a grave digger. Right. Because he digs the hole that they’re going to, they’re planning to put his body in. 

Craig: She sets up this date to lure him to camp.

Wanna bang me? Yeah. So that they can, and, and her brother digs the grave. So he’s a grave digger now, and they’re waiting there. For her to bring him back. But in the meantime, like you said, she’s charmed by him and he is charming. Yeah. Is he a nerd? A hundred percent. Is he charming? Absolutely. And like she’s even charmed.

Like he does. He says he does impressions and she’s like, you should show me. And the impressions that he does are so random and obscure. Like I don’t even think I knew the references. And they’re so goofy, but she’s clearly charmed. Mm-hmm. But she, well, and is it, it’s before they go to camp, wanna bang me?

I think that he’s like, do you wanna see my Shaq? And she’s like, what? That’s right. Because she’s supposed to live in a shack and he takes her out back and he’s like, this is my shack where my goat lives, Uhhuh. And he’s like, I’m gonna be a cheese maker and I’m gonna make you know, the greatest cheese. And, and he gave like, that’s, that was their date.

Like she was sampling his cheese and like, apparently it was really good. Like she was like shoving it in her mouth, Uhhuh. And he’s like. Uh oh. Like the goat makes a noise and he’s like, uhoh, she’s early. And Erica’s like, early for what? And he throws on some big rubber, rubber gloves and he’s like, get suited up.

We’ve gotta do this. And then it cuts back to the people at camp wanna bang me just being silly and joking or whatever, and then it comes back and he’s shirtless. I’m not sure why, but whatever. And he’s kind of tending to the nanny goat and she’s like, cradling this baby. I don’t know. It’s very cute. And she thinks the little baby goat is super, super cute.

And he’s like, it’s our first kid. And she’s like, what? And he’s like, yeah, it’s just our first one. We’ve gotta have a bunch more, like a hundred 

Todd: uhhuh. Cute. 

Craig: So if she marries fish Bain, she’ll have a hundred kids. Kids. It’s adorable. 

Todd: I mean, the whole byplay of kid being the word for a baby goat, I, I think that’s genius.

That, that, somebody thought of that. 

Craig: I thought it was super cute. Yeah. I, I hope that wasn’t too much of a spoiler, that it wasn’t so much that it was funny. It was just clever and sweet and then mm-hmm. I thought it was sweet, but that kind of freaks her out. So she’s like, okay, we gotta go to camp. Wanna bang me, and she takes him there.

But the other three below their cover. And he gets mad because Fish Bain gets mad because he thinks that they were just playing a mean joke on him. He really liked her and he really thought that maybe he had a chance and he thinks that’s really mean. So he just leaves and she calls after him, you know, that she’s sorry and she, you know, wants to explain, but he just leaves.

So then they’re in a pickle. But the geometry teacher or geography or whatever it was. Shows up. The one that the gay guy is supposed to marry? 

Todd: Mm-hmm. 

Craig: Is he there 

Todd: in a cloak? I don’t know why he was there. It’s just one of these things that happen in these silly movies. It’s just people show up for some dumb reason.

Craig: Right. He’s there in a cloak and. The, I, I, I shouldn’t just call him the gay guy. He has a name. Andy kills him. Yeah. Like hits him in the head with a shovel and he falls into the grave. They’ve also, you know, they’ve run into each other several times before this. We have glossed over a lot. Oh yeah. Yeah.

There’s so much intentionally. Yeah, intentionally. But they’ve run into, so, so he’s been trying to avoid this guy anyway, and now here he is and they have to kill somebody, so he kills him. But we see in the background these other cloaked figures, and I won’t spoil that one, but that has something to do with the prediction for Andy’s future later too.

Yeah. Ultimately, I don’t know. Oh, they end up at Joey Fat’s party. It’s at a big mansion, and Joey Fatone is still big time into Mikayla. She’s big time into him. They’re afraid that they’re not gonna be able to. Break the curse. I really don’t remember how all this happens, but what do they just decide?

Joey Fatone gets behind like the DJ booth and he’s like, here’s a hit from a blast from the past or something, and he starts playing an NSYNC song. I don’t remember which one. Yeah, bye bye bye. Or something. I don’t remember. 

Todd: No something else. But you’re right, 

Craig: they’re like. Hey, this is our song, and they’ve got like a whole choreographed thing.

I don’t remember if at this point they’re just kind of resigned to, you know, right. They’re not gonna, I, I don’t remember. Yeah, 

Todd: it does kind of fizzle a little bit like this. It’s kind of an abrupt ending that’s not as satisfying. But there was some, somebody, I can’t remember who it was or where they found it, but it was something, some clue as to how they were supposed to be able to break the curse and had something to do with friendship.

Right. Yeah, of course that woman’s name was Sarah Friendship, and so they thought it was referencing her, but what it was actually referencing was their actual friendship. 

Craig: Right. But, but there’s also a part where, again, through some sort of exposition, maybe the crazy beekeeper tells them that Sarah friendship is actually an ancient demon.

And there’s kind of a, yeah, it’s very brief, but there’s kind of a cool little animated part that gives us exposition a lot. Oh, I liked that. That was cool. Yeah. How this demon like. You know, targeted young people. And, and she especially went to like slumber parties ’cause that’s where young friends would gather and stuff, and she would curse them.

And her ultimate objective was to break their friendships. And, and that, that kind of happens here. Like at some point they, they get into an argument and, and the other two confront Erica and basically accuse her of not being a good friend. And they’re really, you know, they, they feign this connection, but really they’re not.

Friends that they were when they were kids, and they kind of have a falling out and then they go their separate ways and then they end up back together at this party. And when they’re all on the dance floor, they’re like, this is our song. Let’s do this. And so they do a little choreograph number and it’s cute, it’s silly and simple.

It looks like something that kids would make up. They’re not very far into it. When the brother starts like retching and barfs up this purple sparkly smoke, and they’re like, what’s going on? And they’re like, wait. Uh, maybe this is it. Maybe you know, the power of our friendship can. Beat this or whatever.

So they keep doing their routine and eventually they all start barfing up this purple stuff and it turns into like, you know, the demon head and smoke or whatever. And, and then it’s gone. 

Todd: Mm. 

Craig: Yeah. And they defeated it. And, and then, you know, we get a little, it’s not really an epilogue. The movie continues where they, you know, go about their lives and Erica gets the promotion that she hadn’t got before, so she doesn’t have to be a plumber.

And it’s implied that things pretty much. Worked out. Mm-hmm. For everybody. Everybody’s okay. I think Joey Fatone is still into Mikayla, so she’s cool. 

Todd: Well, and Erica’s wants to rush home and see a fish, Bain, you know, ’cause she was so into him. So yeah. So she runs to his place and. Expects to start things back up with him.

And it turns out he’s there with all of the, I guess the dorks that they kind of hated in school. Yeah. The guy who farts all the time and whatever. He is like, oh, well come over the whole gang’s here. And she’s like, what, what, what? And then they say, yeah, we’ve just been playing this game match. It’s an app now.

Here, check it out. And she looks at it and screams and. That’s the end, 

Craig: right? Like they tell her that she’s gonna end up marrying the fart guy. Right, right. That’s right. Because they’ve been playing match. Yeah. And she’s like, ah, yeah. Right. So, and it ends that way. It’s funny, I, again, I, I. There is so many other things happen.

Todd: Oh, of course. Yeah. It’s a gag a minute, honestly. Mm-hmm. Yeah. 

Craig: People that we didn’t mention, you know, other cameos pop up, people that you will certainly recognize and all of that is fun. It’s just not, it’s not something that you really need to pay a lot attention to. Alan and I sit every night and like play card games while we’ve got TV on in the back and, and you know, you don’t have to be, you don’t have to have your eyes glued to it.

Right. You’re really not gonna miss much. And if you miss anything, doesn’t matter. You’ll catch up. Yeah. You’ll catch up. It’s, you’ll figure it out. You’ll figure out what’s going on. So, I don’t know. I, I like, I, I would give it like a six and a half, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s fine. I didn’t love it, but I had a.

Fine time watching it. I laughed several times. There were some funny gags. All of these people are people who I think are really funny. Nikki Glaser’s part is small, but she’s funny in it. Kathy Griffin’s part is small, but she’s funny in it, and I’m a huge fan of hers. Nicole Byers, again, I’m a big fan of, so I, I definitely wouldn’t steer you away from it.

Just know what you’re getting into. It’s not a horror movie. It’s a goofy comedy, but goofy comedy can be fun, especially, you know, if you just, if you need something light, if, if the world feels heavy, this is light and it might be good. 

Todd: Yeah, you’re right. Just light, goofy comedy. A bunch of comedians in it.

And it’s about what you’d expect. And, uh, there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s just, uh, yeah. You know, go for it, check it out. And 

Craig: it is, again, it is just, you know, Halloween barfed all over this movie. 

Todd: Yeah. That bit. There’s always Halloween in the, in the, in the frame. And yeah, it takes place during Halloween.

There’s Halloween decorations. They’re walking down the street and the witch is showing up in different places, like by a tree that’s all decorated and things like that. It’s, yeah, it’s cute. It’s fun that way. And they end up in a big Halloween party. In, uh, Joey Fat’s house. 

Craig: Yeah. And you know, if, if your kids are the kind of kid that I was, I think that you could watch this with your kids.

If, if your kids aren’t, if swearing isn’t a big deal in your house and, you know, some, not gr you know, sexual innuendo is what it is. I, I think when I was a kid, I, I probably would’ve got that. It was supposed to be something about sex, but. That’s, it wouldn’t have known Exactly. Right? Yeah. I, I, I would feel if I had, you know, an eight, nine, 10-year-old, I would feel comfortable showing that’s, you know, that’s a personal preference thing.

But anyway, I, I recommend it. I, I think that the people that we talk to about these kinds of things are open to lots of different, we, I’ve, we’ve heard that recently from people that they appreciate that we do different types of stuff, a wide variety of stuff. And so I think a lot of you who appreciate that wide variety will enjoy this.

Todd: Well, speaking of people we’ve heard from, as I always often say, if you go to our website, you can click talk to us at the very top of the screen and you can record us a little message. And we love to hear from our fans that way. And we will play you on the air. And, uh, we wanna hear right now from Paula who sent us a message just a little while ago.

Paula: Hey guys, this is Paula Renner. I am a huge fan of yours. I’m a huge horror fan. I too am in Missouri. I’m up in St. Peter’s. Um, my, one of my dreams is to actually be. Uh, a guest on your show. I know that’s lofty, um, but why not? You only live once. Um, I was hoping you might be able to add a movie to your list.

Uh, the, let’s see. It’s called The Legend of Hell House. Uh, Roddy McDowell. Not sure if you’ve done that one. I don’t think so. I think I’ve listened to all of your podcasts, but, uh, anyway, I’m hoping this spooky season you guys can do it. And, um, yeah, let me know. Other, another one would be, um. Oh gosh, I’m drawing a blank.

I’m actually nervous ’cause I’m a huge fan of you guys. Anyway, sorry for spazzing out. I hope you guys are. Well, thanks for doing what you do and keep up the good work and I hope to hear the legend of Hell house on your show soon. Thanks. Bye. 

Todd: Legend of hell house. 

Craig: We haven’t done that yet. I love that. Yeah.

If you’re listening and you’ve ever, you know, Todd says that you can leave us a message and you thought, oh, I don’t want to do that. You should, if you have any inclination. To do it at all, don’t hesitate. I love to hear those things and it’s, it’s, it’s, of course, it’s really nice to, and, and please do leave us nice reviews, reviews online.

Please do, do that. But it is also nice to hear people’s voices. Like, I, I had a wedding and a funeral this weekend and lots of people in from out of town and I talked to some people from St. Peter’s. So it is, it’s, it’s not far from here. The world is, thank you Paul. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Thank you Paula. I, uh, I, I, we’ve not done that movie.

I’m not familiar with it, but we are always more inclined to do movies that people, you know, reach out to us about. So we’ll for sure, put it on the list, and I would imagine we’ll probably get to it sooner rather than later. 

Todd: Yeah, and thank you for the cutting words, Paula. We’re really glad that you’re a listener here.

And who knows, maybe we’ll have you on the show one of these days. Yeah, well, we’ve got one more to go and that’s gonna be on Halloween day, so I’m so excited for that one. And I hope you guys are all gearing up for a great Halloween day this year. No matter where you are in the world, you don’t have to be American to celebrate it.

Carve a pumpkin, whether your pumpkins are big or small, you know, when you’re overseas, sometimes the pumpkins are really small. Craig, I didn’t realize how large American pumpkins are compared to the rest of the world, till I started living abroad and trying to carve a pumpkin on Halloween. And it’s, it’s a challenge when they’re, you know.

Like the size of a large grapefruit. Yeah. 

Craig: I, uh, I actually decorated this year. I typically don’t decorate, but our local grocery store, our local Aldi had great big pumpkins for just like three bucks a piece. So I bought a bunch and put ’em out in the yard. Nice. It’s cool. It, it, it, it does, it, it, it sets the mood, it makes me feel good every time I pull up to the house.

Hmm. 

Todd: Little things like that really help, don’t they? Well, thank you guys so much for listening. Again, our website is chainsaw horror.com. That’s where you can leave a message like that. You can also just write us an email, post, a comment on there. You can post a comment on our Facebook or Instagram, anywhere you find us.

So you can just Google two guys in a Chainsaw podcast and you’ll. See all the little bits and places that we are online, including Patreon, which gives us you a little bit more access than everybody else for just five bucks a month. patreon.com/chainsaw podcast, you can have access to mini sos little things that we post the uncut versions of our phone calls, which often gets.

Very personal about our lives, just in case you’re interested in that, right? But we also have this wonderful book club where we are meeting wonderful people who are coming and going and reading all kinds of great books and discussing them once every couple weeks on a Zoom call. All if all, any and all of that sounds interesting to you, just go to patreon.com/chainsaw podcast for just five bucks a month.

Get access, and we would love to see you back there behind the curtain. Well, until next time, I’m Todd. And I’m Craig. With Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

In this energetic episode of ‘Two Guys in a Chainsaw,’ we dive into the 1999 horror-comedy film ‘Idle Hands,’ perfect for Halloween.

We discuss the film’s references to other horror classics, its nineties nostalgia, and memorable performances by Devon Sawa, Seth Green, and Jessica Alba. While rewatching this cult favorite, we found our initial excitement was tempered by some hard-to-define disappointment, as we debated its comedic value and overall execution.

Join the discussion on whether ‘Idle Hands’ holds up to its reputation or falls flat as a ‘mid’ film. Don’t miss this spirited Halloween edition!

Episode 461, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: We’ve got another Halloween selection for you today. This is 1999’s Idle Hands, which I believe has been requested a couple times and has been on our list for Halloween possibilities because it does take place at Halloween.

And Halloween is referenced right in the very beginning. Yeah. The movie. So, uh, there’s pumpkins and they talk about Halloween decorations. So, and Jacko lanterns.

Craig: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like when it first opens, there’s like jacko lanterns in front of, like a suburban house, and the music is by Graham Ville. I don’t know how to say his name, but it’s the same guy who did the music for the craft, who I was just like gushing over.

Yeah. Last week or whenever it was funny. And, and that really excited me and, and especially in the very beginning, they don’t use John Carpenter’s Halloween score, but it’s reminiscent of it. Yes. And I really liked that. 

Clip: I, I, 

Craig: that was a good way, that was a good way to get into it. 

Todd: It really was. I feel like this movie also kind of references other horror movies, although supposedly the director didn’t really want to, I don’t know if that just slipped in there or what, but there’s a lot of Sam Raimi esque cinematography in here.

Sure. Um, the cinematography really, really struck me, actually. I was really impressed with how connect it was. There were all these different angles and things were just always moving. I really liked that aspect of it. And being a late nineties movie, it almost feels like a mid nineties movie to me. I guess it’s right at that point where it’s kind of late nineties, early two thousands.

Not like the what, four years difference? Not like 

Craig: that’s a big deal. But yeah. I was just laughing ’cause I was gonna say it feels kinda mid. Period, like mid period. It’s, it’s kinda mid, like it’s just, it’s just Okay. All over 

Clip: the place. Yeah. 

Todd: Everything about it is mid right. Fair enough. Alright, so maybe we’re gonna show our cards early.

First of all, by the way, believe it or not, had not seen this before, had you? 

Craig: Oh, gosh. Yeah. I, I was excited about when it came out. I feel like early on in. The podcast, we had a guest host who is big time into Devon swa, who was a friend of yours, right? Yes, yes. Isn’t it? Yes, yes, that’s right. Yeah. He’s cool and, and he’s doing a lot of cool stuff now.

Like he did the Chuckie series and I really liked him in that, but he was kind of in nineties heartthrob and so, you know, whatever. I wasn’t super into him, but he was cool. And, and that’s fine. Yeah. And, uh, he had a 

Todd: final destination right after this. I think the same this 

Craig: past 

Todd: year. Yeah. Yeah. 

Clip: Yeah. 

Todd: And Seth Green.

Craig: I’m a big fan of Seth Green, big fan. He’s cool. Yeah, he’s very cool. He’s very funny. I know him best from Buffy. He was Oz on Buffy and he was great in that show. But he’s done lots of cool stuff. He’s especially in animation. Mm-hmm. I know he’s done a lot of cool animated series. Voice work. Yeah. And, and he’s very, very cool.

And, and even at the time I knew he was cool, so I was drawn to that. And it felt very nineties. I mean, it felt very hip. It just felt very hip and cool at the time. So, yeah, I, I definitely saw it then. And you know, we just watched it again and I was really, you know, excited to do it. ’cause I thought, oh, this is gonna be fun.

It’s gonna be a fun nineties movie to talk about ultimately, uh. I didn’t really like it. 

Clip: Ah, you and me both. 

Todd: I was so afraid I was gonna get on here and I was gonna be like, oh. I was just like, the movie graded on me after a while and I can’t even tell you why’s, I mean, alright, so good. So we’re kind of on the same page.

I 

Craig: mean, it’s fine, it’s fine. There’s nothing wrong with it. No, it’s fine. I, I can’t even necessarily, I, it’s just stupid and like I am, that might be it. I’m a fan. That might be it. I’m a fan of stupid. I like stupid. I actually very much enjoy stoner comedy, which this Uhhuh totally is, very much, is like, I’m totally, I’m very down for that.

Like I am so down for stoner comedy and you already know this, but let me just be transparent with the audience. My grandfather died yesterday and you know, I, I had just been at the hospital and there was lots of family there, and then I got a call from my sister. That he had passed and it’s, it, it’s good, it’s fine.

He was very, very sick and, and he was in pain and it, it was a blessing, frankly, that he fi like he was finally out of his misery. It was a blessing. So then I was spending time with, I, you know, I was hanging out with family. And then I had to come home and watch Idle Hands. Watch Idle Hands. 

Clip: That’s 

Craig: a bit of a, of a jump, I’m sure.

Yeah. And like, so, so I just really wasn’t feeling it and I, you know, like I, I I, I, I can imagine listeners that you can understand that like, I, I just wasn’t in the greatest, like I wasn’t. In a space to laugh at some of this silliness. And it is silly. And it is silly and it is fun. I don’t wanna talk bad about it because it, it’s a fun movie and it’s, it seems like, you know, they were just having a good time making it.

It’s not meant to be serious. It’s meant to be silly and stupid, and it is, and it’s fun in that way. And so listeners. I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch it. It’s a fun, silly movie, but it’s stupid. It’s pretty 

Todd: stupid. It’s pretty jokey. Now, unlike you, I’m not really into stoner comedy. I don’t object to it or anything.

I’ve just not really my cup of tea and about 10 minutes into this I was like, okay, this is gonna be stoner comedy. But then it’s not for a while. I mean it is, but then I feel like this movie goes all over the place in tone, which I liked actually. I think that’s fine. Mostly it’s comedy, mostly it’s stupid.

I think it’s kind of a one trick pony for me. The shtick just got old after a while. It’s this guy’s hand that is possessed and, and it took it a long time to get there. 

Craig: Yeah. Like, it, it, it, it, it seemed like we didn’t even really understand what was happening. I don’t even know how his hand got possessed.

I don’t either. Is it even explained like what the, the hell, I mean at some 0.1 of his friends says something like, yeah, my grandma used to say. Idle hands are the devil’s playground or whatever, which I’ve heard. And that’s fine. Right. And and the main character, Deon Swa is like this big jerk off stoner guy who doesn’t care about anything.

But you know, he plays a too waking up and Yeah. And he, and I like Devin Swa, and he, you know, like he plays, it’s fine, you know, he’s a stoner. He just wants to sit around in his boxers and smoke weed all day. Fine, that’s fine. But like, and then Vivica. A fox. Right? Does she still go by that or is she just Vivic Fox?

I have Fox now idea. I don’t, I don’t know. But I do love Vivica. A fox. A fox, because she is, she’s a fox. She’s definitely a fox. I mean, she’s hot as fuck, like yeah, she, she’s so, she’s so gorgeous. She’s in it, and she plays a character that I don’t even really understand, like maybe she’s a nun. I don’t know.

What, what 

Todd: is she, I don’t know. Comes in. Like she’s investigating this or something and she dresses like a nun to get in to the jail. I don’t know if she’s see she’s a nun or not. It’s too late. Like what is the deal with the 

Craig: hand? Well, that’s the thing, like she’s like, yeah, I am from this ancient order of nuns and our job is to chase down this thing that possesses.

The laziest people

and I don’t know, makes their hands evil or something. I don’t, oh my God, I don’t really get it. Like you just kinda roll with it in the movie with like It doesn’t it? Yeah, it doesn’t matter. Like who cares? And like her character. Could be entirely excised from the movie and it would make no difference.

Wouldn’t even matter. 

Todd: She doesn’t do anything. She doesn’t do anything. It pops into a few scenes, looks around, gets hit by a car at one point, at the very, very end, I think her character was actually supposed to die when she got hit by that car. I thought that was gonna be the comedy of the scene, was that they just ran over this woman and were just like, oh, what was that?

I don’t know. 

Craig: This woman’s just gone. Yeah, she’s just a sexy nun. Who is? From a long line of sexy nuns who are trying to hunt down this thing, I guess. 

Clip: I don’t know why. Doesn’t make any sense. What is it? It doesn doesn’t make any sense. 

Todd: Somebody saw Evil Dead too, which we did very, yes, yes. It was like, just take that and make that a whole movie.

Yes. 

Craig: Yes. And, and I wish that they had done more of that. I was surprised. Okay, so the, the opening I really liked, you know, Jack Lantern’s very reminiscent of Jam Carpenter’s score for Halloween, very Halloween. And then Fred Willard. Yeah. Is the dad and I, I love Fred Willard. I will never say an unkind word about him.

He’s so funny. And I loved him in everything that he has ever been in. Yeah. Just so funny. He’s the dad and the mom is Connie Ray, who I just recognized immediately, but then I looked at her IMDB page and she just plays bit parts. Mm-hmm. But I recognized her from, and, and so the two of them together as this silly mom and dad.

It was funny and like that put me in the mood. I’m like, oh, okay. This is gonna be a silly, funny comedy. And it is, and I liked it. 

Clip: Look at this, A Thanksgiving cornucopia made out of pie, plates and spackle. What the heck is a cornucopia? It’s like a horn of plenty. Oh dear Canid, wait, we just finished decorating for Halloween.

You, 

Craig: she looks up and sees written, I don’t know, in glowing letters above her bed. I am under the bed. Yeah. And then there’s like. Cat scare and immediately, which I thought was funny. Yeah. Was, was funny. And then the mom gets like violently pulled under the bed and killed. Yeah. And I think the dad gets killed too.

It was funny to me. The mom, did you notice the mom grabbed the phone and it was a rotary phone and it was like a hotel phone. Did you like Yeah, it had like the, the number underneath? Yeah, the rotary dial, which I thought was hilarious. Yeah, weird. And then the whole gag is the Devon Awa, his name is Anton.

He wakes up in the morning and doesn’t realize that his parents have been murdered. He doesn’t even know that there has been, been like a, a murderous streak in this town. 

Todd: Yeah. ‘

Craig: cause 

Todd: he has no 

Craig: idea. 

Todd: It’s just. He’s just oblivious. He’s walking around kind of ignoring or not, not seeing like little blood stains on the floor and things like that.

The 

Craig: cat looking up the blood, the cat like eating his mom’s eyeball. I think that’s what he eventually notices later, much later. Yeah, I don’t know. All of that. All of that was funny. Like I was. It’s like, this is funny. You know, he’s a dumb stoner teenager and, and just totally oblivious to everything going on.

Mm-hmm. And he’s like smoking weed out of a, what looked, I thought it was an inhaler around his neck. I was like, oh, he’s asthmatic. This is gonna be important. No, it’s just a pipe that he smokes out of. Yeah. Yeah. And, and, and like he’s looking for weed and he, like, before he even notices that his parents are dead.

He like goes to buy weed from Seth Green and this other guy. The actor’s name is Eldon Henson. They’re Mick and Pab Pinup. Pin Nub. 

Todd: I never caught his name in the movie. I’ve never heard his 

Craig: name. 

Todd: Yeah, nub. Maybe it’s just nub with the silent pea. Who knows? 

Craig: I don’t know. But they’re his stoner friends that he buys weed from.

And they’re funny. They’re funny, they’re, they’re stoner funny, and eventually they get killed and then they’re still just more stoner. Funny, like honestly, Todd. I was looking, I was looking forward to watching this movie because I remembered liking it and then watching it again. I’m like, I don’t know.

This is just kind of stupid.

I love Seth Green and he and this other guy are doing funny, you know, stoner stuff, but ultimately it’s just 

Todd: kind of dumb. Yeah, I, I mean that’s how I feel about most donor comedy anyway. It kind of wears itself out pretty quickly. I feel like that stuff you’re meant to be stoned while you watch it. 

Clip: Yeah.

Oh man. She dropped her lyrics book. Hey, she’s gonna catch you reading that shit over her shoulder in biology class. Her songs are badass, man. She’s like a powder or something. Go bring it back to her. Be like a night and shining arm roll. Oh yeah. She’d be all grateful. She’d invite me in, she’d offer me a drink, got upset and she’d rip your clothes off and make sweet love to you.

Red shoe diary style. Just go talk to her man. Maybe she’ll think you’re funny or something. 

Todd: It’s just low key comedy, you know, and whatever. They’re doing their thing, but they’re doing their thing for a very long time. Jessica Alba rides by a bicycle. She’s Molly. She’s the sexy neighbor next door that makes Jessica Alba.

Anton has a thing for, I think that 

Craig: Jessica Alba has removed herself from Hollywood because she was so tired of just being objectified and this movie objectify the hell out of her. Oh my God. I mean she, yes, I mean, she’s just. The sexy girl. That’s it. Yeah. And I feel it’s true. You know, I’m not gonna feel too bad for Jessica Alba.

I’m sure that she’s made a lot of money and she’s a very beautiful woman, and if she’s made money off of that, great. But I can also understand the frustration if she’s an actress who wants to act. And she just gets cast because she’s sexy. Mm-hmm. I can understand that frustration. I, I can, and I can understand, it seems as though she’s kind of removed herself from the industry and I, she’s been vocal about this, you know, in, in the Fantastic four movies and stuff.

Like in one of the Fantastic four movies, she was in a scene where she was supposed to cry and she was crying and the director told her, Ugh, can you do it sexier? God, like, like cry, sexier. Oh God. And I, I think that was very off putting to her, and I can understand that. Like I, I’ll never be able to relate.

To being so sexy. Right. If people ask me to cry sexy. Right? That would be nice. I’ll never be able to relate to that, but I can imagine how frustrating that would be if you were serious and you were an actor and you wanted to work and that’s all people expected of you or wanted from you. I can imagine how frustrating that would be.

Yeah. Nonetheless. She plays Molly the crush, the girl next door in this movie, and she is very sexy, and that’s really all that she’s given. She’s the sexy girl next door, even when she’s brought in to be in scenes and stuff. It’s dumb like, like, yeah, she, she’s just the sexy girl. That’s all. It’s, there’s one point near the end of the movie where she’s in peril and her clothes get ripped off for no reason, for no reason.

Todd: The reason was the audience wanted it, the test audience. Well, 

Craig: and, and because she’s gorgeous and, and she’s stunningly gorgeous and she looks great in bra and panties, she looks fantastic. But I can, I, I, I can’t, I can’t imagine. Sorry. We need to hoot 

Todd: this scene. What? We’re gonna rip your clothes off.

That’s, that’s what the audience, I can’t imagine for when they were watching your performance. 

Craig: I can’t imagine being a young woman. Wanting to get into acting and into the industry, and that’s all they care about and like, okay, great. Now for no reason, we’re just gonna rip all your clothes off. Okay. I mean, I’ve got great, like I’m putting, I’m putting myself in her.

She’s like, I mean, I get it. I’ve got great tits and I’ve got a great body. I get it. But. Can I come on talk? Well, not a little bit, but not really. Like I get why that would be frustrating. Anyway, whatever. So his, where do we wanna go? A 20 minute discussion of Jessica 

Todd: Albas now officially. I know. All right.

I know. Yeah, I don’t know. You know, he goes next door and he has some flirtatiousness with her, but he’s really shy and that’s the gag. Then later he ends up over at her place, but ultimately he ends up in his kitchen and he discovers the eyeball that the cat’s eating and his goes upstairs and I think his parents’ corpses like fall outta somewhere.

I never really figured out where that was and that freaks him out. He stands up and then the guys come over. People are always popping in and out of scenes. The guys are just there, or he’s left and then he comes back. You know, all these things are happening like all throughout the movie. You can never really keep track of who is where and it doesn’t really matter.

Craig: Yeah. When the guys come over. They find the dead parents. The dead parents have been propped up like Halloween decorations or something, but the mom has a piece, Anton’s shirt has been ripped from the beginning and I noticed that. Yeah, right away. And when, when the boys come over, the mother has the ripped off piece of t-shirt in her hand.

I really don’t even understand this. How would that work? Honestly, that would never happen. I don’t understand it because from this point on. And like I think the mom had written a NT and Blood on the floor and like they find the ears of some other twins that were killed. Earlier in the house. And so, yeah.

What was that about? He says, I don’t know. He says to the friends, the killer was me. I am the killer. I don’t get it. It’s not like when the hand takes over it, he’s totally possessed. Like he’s conscious, conscious and aware of what’s going on. So how did the hand go on a murder spree? Right all around town and he’s just completely unaware all around town and he’s just completely unaware of it.

I don’t get that. 

Todd: Yeah, I I don’t get it either. It doesn’t make any sense. Well, it’s not consistent with what we see, which is him fighting Bruce Campbell Evil Dead two style with his hand pretty much for the rest of the movie until he cuts off and not as good, 

Craig: isn’t it? It’s so funny to me that we just watched Evil Dead too, and I just went on and on and on about how great Bruce Campbell was at doing that.

Devon Sawa, God bless you. I’m a fan. I’m a big fan, and you’ll never. Heard this, but this is no Bruce Campbell work here. I don’t know. I don’t think he did Too bad. He was, it was fine. 

Todd: Yeah. He had kind of a different 

Craig: vibe 

Todd: going with it. 

Craig: I think that had I not just. Seen and gushed over Bruce Campbell that I wouldn’t have thought about it at all.

But watching this, I’m like, ah, you’re no, Bruce Campbell. 

Todd: The thing about it is the hand kind of switches on and off at one moment. He’s really, really fighting it, and the next moment he’s like having a dialogue with someone and you’re like, how did he control that hand? All of a sudden it’s just like by his side, or it’s tucked in his shirt or something, and then boom, the handle, like pop up onto his neck.

Or I, you know, uh, it, it’s just again, it’s. It’s not, and thank God it’s not a long, sustained sequence of him fighting this hand for an hour. Right. It does then therefore lead to these moments where the hand’s not even an issue. I mean, he’s still there. His hand is still attached, but now he’s like walking around or he is trying to solve problems or whatnot with the guys.

Anyway, it does lead to some funny moments though. Mm-hmm. Like I love that bit. Seth Green, his character is backing away from him, and he flips open the door of the refrigerator to block him, and he holds up a beer bottle. He’s like, would you like a beer? And his hand just immediately smashes it out of his hand, smashes it against the counter to break it, and then impales Seth Greens.

Character in the head with the beer bottle that was sudden and quick and kind of funny. Yeah. Uh, yeah, it is funny. And then there’s a whole chasing killed them both. 

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. He kills them both. I don’t remember how he, oh, he throws like a saw blade, like a circular saw blade. He throws at the other guy and cuts his head off and all of this gore and stuff.

Fun. Honestly, I just really feel like I wasn’t in the right head space. I feel like if you’re in the right head space, this movie could be very fun and very funny. Take a hit off your vape pen. Smoke a hole. It’s, you’re gonna have, you’re gonna have a better time. 

Todd: I don’t know, but that doesn’t. That doesn’t explain why I was also, I mean, was I also not in the right head space?

Like there was just about it? No. God no. No. Not in China to God, no. But I don’t know why I could not pinpoint what it was about everything that I. Just wasn’t, I mean, I don’t wanna say emotionally invested ’cause how emotionally invested do you get in a wacky comedy, but there was something about it that just didn’t connect for me and I just felt I was watching scenes, you know, afterwards.

Craig: Yeah, it did feel like scenes. It didn’t really feel like I didn’t know where it was. I didn’t know where it was going. Like I, yeah, I didn’t, I didn’t really get. Point of it. There’s no strong through 

Todd: line because no, there’s not. The movie pauses all the time for just long gag sequences. Like once those two guys are killed, he goes to bury them in the backyard, but they come to life.

And that was kinda shocking. I didn’t expect that. And I’m still not sure what caused that. Why No, why? There’s no, there’s just no explanation whatsoever. No. Just so we can have two zombie stoner guys and then the next 10, 15 minutes is just them doing stoner stick. Zombies in the living room. Right, right.

Like the 

Craig: one guy’s headless and he’s, you know, taking hits off the bong and it’s just coming out, you know, of his neck or whatever. Yeah. So I think 

Todd: with, with that, like whatever plot there is and there’s not much plot, it’s just chase the hand really, it just stops dead for these moments. And like I said, in those moments when they’re doing all their shtick, suddenly the, I, I’m, I’m like, what’s, what about the hand though?

Like, is he still fighting the hand? No, the hand’s just kind of hanging there. It’s like not an issue anymore, I think. It’s around. After that, he ends up going next door to Jessica Alba. 

Craig: Is that right? Well, right, and it’s almost like the zombie guys and the hand are like encouraging him to be more confident.

Go over there, ask her out or whatever, and then ask her out while he’s there. The hand is like getting handsy with Jessica Alba and like she’s into it. This, it was. Stupid. Yeah, it was really dumb. Like the hand is like, the hand is like grabbing her ass and stuff, and then she. It’s so dumb. This girl lives across, this girl lives across the street from him or whatever, but they don’t really know one another.

And he’s been lusting after her and he rings her doorbell with his evil hand. They talk for a second. The evil hand like grabs her ass and she’s like. Ooh, that’s hot. And she throws him down on the bed, and the gag is that the hand is getting aggressive, so he has to tie the hand to the bed, but she thinks that he’s just being kinky or whatever.

Mm-hmm. Which, okay, that’s cute. You’re teenagers, but, okay. And, 

Clip: and then 

Craig: she just s him. I couldn’t believe. Yeah. I, I couldn’t believe that. Like, I was like, what? You, you guys don’t even know each other and you’re like 17 and he ties himself to the bed and you take his pants off and just go to town. Go to town.

I mean, listen, when I was 17, if that had happened to me, I would’ve been thrilled, but it, it seemed a little 

Todd: out place. I don’t know. Yeah, I hear ya. I mean, it was just a gag for a gags sake, but with the ages and stuff, and I don’t know, just the way it kind of went down. It’s also there no tension or 

Craig: weird?

No, I don’t dunno. It’s, it’s also very safe. I mean, this movie is R-rated, but there is, there’s no sex. Right. It just, he tie, he ties his hand to the bed and then it cuts back to them later. And I think she’s like, oh, my parents are home. I don’t want them to know that. I just. You, you like his pants are down, but he’s still in boxers.

It’s very visually and cinematically. It’s very chaste. I just, it was weird. 

Todd: Yeah, yeah. It felt, it felt off to me. I, and I don’t know if that’s because there was no real back and forth that she was just so eager. She just jumped on. I mean, I realized that maybe is the gag, but we kind of saw that coming from a mile away anyway.

’cause she’s been all over him since he opened the door. Right. So. I don’t know. There just wasn’t a lot of, there wasn’t like an arc or whatever to this scene. It just kind of happened. And then they end up back over at, at his house and the friends are there watching TV and he’s like, Anton, I’ve gotta ask what’s with the hand.

Clip: It doesn’t obey me at all. So the only thing I can come up with is it’s, it’s gotta be possessed. Hmm. Do you guys know anything about Satan or evil or No. But we know somebody who does, 

Todd: and it’s the guy who listens to the same Motley Crew song over and over and over again. God, how many times were they gonna drop the needle on Shout at the Devil?

Was that the gag? Every time this guy came on the screen, it was playing that song. You know, they pay per needle drop for licensing fees. Sure. So the only thing I’m thinking of is maybe Motley Cru, shout at the Devil like five times was cheaper than five different tunes. And not that they have a shortage of tunes.

By the way, this is like a greatest hits of, oh my God, late nineties alternative. There were. Metal. Yeah. The 

Craig: Ramone’s, 24 hours to go, right? Yeah. Features pretty heavily. Like also there’s a band at the school dance, and it’s a famous band, but I don’t have the name of it in front of me, but they’re doing the Ramones 24.

I don’t know the name of the title. That’s why 20 20, 24 Hours to Go and One Be Dated, and that’s a great song. I love that song. 

Todd: Yeah. Well, when he goes to meet up with. That guy. I don’t, Freddy was his name. I think he is at a fast food restaurant. Yeah. And there’s a memorial outside the fast food restaurant where apparently one of the, or these twins were killed.

So people are laying flowers and there’s this kind of dumb bimbo gal who’s also laying flowers and this guy’s over the top, stupid, I don’t know, guy who listens to heavy metal or whatever, jockey type person with the big truck. He walks up to her and everything about this scene was so cheap. And the acting was so over the top bad that I thought I had stepped into a Troma movie.

It felt exactly like a scene from a Troma film. 

Craig: Yeah. I hadn’t thought of that, but you saying it. Yeah, it does feel like that. You’re right. Remember that chicken movie 

Todd: we did? Yeah. Mm-hmm. I liked that you guys. It was stupid fun, but I liked it. If this whole movie had been like poultry geist, I would’ve liked it more.

But this one scene just was like, this is pure trauma. So you know, that was different plopped in the middle of this. I don’t know how Anton ends up in the drive through window of the restaurant. He kind of goes in and the hand just kind of grabs him and there’s some kind of half-assed gags where the hand is trying to pick up murderous things.

The knife and throw it, but it keeps kind of avoiding people narrowly. And I would’ve enjoyed that if it had gone on a little longer. But it just happens a couple times. And then Freddy ends up in the drive through. It’s my hand. Okay. It’s, it’s, it’s, 

Clip: it’s like it’s got a mind of its own. It makes me do things I don’t want it to do.

Oh yeah, man, I to be like that, get into all kinds of stupid shit. But the trick is to keep yourself busy. That’s why I’m always working on the board. It keeps me out of trouble. Idle hands are the devil’s playground. Keep my 

Craig: hands busy. 

Clip: Yeah, that actually makes sense. Mm-hmm. 

Craig: So he starts knitting and that’s, that’s that.

Todd: It should be really funny, shouldn’t it? It should be. What’s the most, oh god. Obvious way to keep your hands busy. But then the cops, the cops come back. One of the cops is played by Sean Waylon didn’t mention the cops before. That was fun to see. Yeah. Our very first 

Craig: episode, people under the stairs, I was like, it’s Sean Waylon.

I was excited. Right. And so, I mean, they don’t do anything. They have a No, they’re not. They’re just there. They’re father, he kills them. One of them gets like, and, and it’s not him, it’s not Anton, it’s just his hand that he has no control of. One of them takes a knitting needle to the ear. That’s straight through the head.

Yeah. Ear to ear. And then the other one. I just have taser to the face. Yeah. I’m not sure why that would though, killed 

Todd: him. But that was Sean Waylon, all the while Derm by Rob Zombies playing in the background. And Anton decides he needs to take care of this Bruce Campbell style. So he goes into the kitchen and he’s got his hand in one of those Bagel slicers.

Mm-hmm. And this I actually laughed out loud at, because one of his friends says, man, those things won’t even cut my bagel. And I was like, yeah, that’s exactly right. Mm-hmm. Those bagel slicers are useless and it is useless. It just bends around his arm and so he ends up chopping it off. It ends up in a microwave.

Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. He puts it, that was weird. Like, like you said, like it just, it just feels like a series of scenes. Like we watch this hand cook in the microwave for like 30 seconds. Yeah. And okay, but, and, and then he leaves. Nothing comes of that. Like, no. Eventually somebody just opens the microwave and it gets out like it’s fine.

Yeah, 

Todd: he leaves for some reason. I don’t even know why. So then the guys come back in and they wanna microwave a burrito ’cause it’s a stoner thing. And there’s a gag where, uh, Seth Green’s character puts the guy’s head back on finally, uh, with the meat fork. 

Craig: I thought that was funny. It was a stupid joke, but it was funny to me like he stuck the pointy part of the meat fork up in the guy’s neck and then just crammed the blunt side down in his body and then his head was on for the rest of the movie.

I thought that was kinda funny. That’s right. 

Todd: That was funny. E tries to microwave a burrito and when they open it, the hand leaps out and runs out and they’re like, well, that was weird. And then there’s a shtick where he’s eating the burrito and like. Comes out of his neck. So they’re using duct tape. That was gross.

I didn’t even care for that. I know. But then Anton is back all of a sudden, wherever he went to now he’s back. Exit scene. Enter scene. It’s like a play, right? I, I, I don’t know why, where he was, what he was doing and why he’s now suddenly back, but he’s back looking for the hand. And by now the hand is working its way down the street.

So the hand is detached from here on out and apparently is played by the same magician who played a thing. The Adams family movies, which is cool. It is cool. That be a real big deal. 

Craig: Yeah. I thought that was cool too, that it was that same guy and good for that guy for having a hand career. 

Todd: Right. 

Craig: He’s really fun in the Adams family here.

I don’t know, it just felt like a, a lot of running around. Mm-hmm. I, I, I all, it 

Todd: wasn’t just much expressiveness. 

Craig: Exactly. I was gonna say, frankly, I wish that the hand was more of a character. It’s really just something that pops in and out here and there and that they’re chasing around. Even in Evil Dead that we just talked about, the hand had an attitude.

You know what I mean? 

Todd: Yeah, yeah. You’re right. It was kind of a, it felt like a character. 

Craig: Yeah. And I would’ve liked that more here, but it’s really not. It’s really just a device to run around and kill people, but whatever. That’s 

Todd: fine. Yeah. Because at this point it’s really just chasing the hand around and it, it works its way down the street.

They go and take the metal guy’s truck for some reason. That’s when they hit Debbie. Debbie comes outta nowhere and yells Anton and gets hit by the truck, and I’m like, where did she come from? How does she know? I don’t remember Anton. She, she came from Utah or something. Like she, she broke from 

Craig: I know. I, I have, I have in my notes, Debbie hooks up with the truck guy to find Anton.

Todd: How did she sort out this guy has the new hand spirit? I don’t know. 

Craig: There was some, I, there was something that connected that. I don’t know what it is, what I don’t. Understand maybe still is, why is the hand after Molly, right? They are trying to chase it because it’s after her. Why? 

Todd: Yeah. I don’t, is it because of it just fell in love with her in her bedroom?

Craig: I don’t know. I guess whatever. But then they, they go to this high school dance, right? Mm-hmm. Yep. And, and that band is playing the Ramones and we get boobs, Jessica and Jessica Alba’s dancing like an idiot, like. That scene where they’re just dancing. I’m like, what are you doing? So stupid. I don’t know.

Todd: Well, you missed the couple in the car where you’ve got the obvious, if you’re gonna have a disembodied hand in a movie like this, you know that you’re gonna have Oh, right, 

Craig: right. 

Todd: Hands, fondling boobs. So we get our, our boobs in there. Those are big titties. They were, they were impressive. I wasn’t complaining.

Well, he, the, the three hands that end up on it have a lot to, to push around. That’s true. Um, shout of the devil is still playing by the way. Oh my God. Yeah, the hand. 

Craig: Yeah, the hand kills that couple and 

Todd: mm-hmm. 

Craig: It’s funny, like, I don’t know, they’re just making out in the car and then the guy goes down on her and then all of a sudden her top is off and like her big natural boobs are just.

Ow. 

Todd: And, 

Craig: and, and then they, and then they get killed. I don’t remember. And 

Todd: everybody then it’s just the hand is inside, like the, the principles in the dance. It’s just a scene. Yeah. Well, it’s not really in the dance. I don’t know how it gets where it’s going. It just pops around. But, uh, I think the next scene is there’s the principles on the, on the phone in the dark, and he’s talking to some chick, maybe phone sex, and this hand crawls up his leg and he’s like, oh.

It’s like, I can feel you doing it. Then I guess it grabs his dick and yanks it off or something while he’s talking. Yeah, 

Craig: I, I just have hand kills pervy principle 

Todd: and, and Anton pops in the room, sees the aftermath, and looks around and walks out. But it turns out the hand’s still in there because the next shot is the hand sharpening its fingernails in the pencil sharpener on the desk, which I thought was cute.

That had great angles and style. 

Craig: I did like that. Mm-hmm. That scene in particular, I, I made a mental note of it too. I was like, that’s clever. Having it stick its finger in the electric me carpenter. Yeah. 

Todd: Yeah. That’s so good. 

Craig: But, and then there’s, you know, the classic thing where he gets on the mic at the school dance and it’s like there’s this evil hand on the loose.

Everybody go home, but, but nobody believes them. And then it shows the hand locking them into the. Dance, I guess. Uh, 

Todd: yeah. Drops down on the maji the musician’s head. Right. Peels a scalp off. That was, that was fun. 

Craig: I that yeah. Right in front of everybody. Yeah. The little high school dance montage I did appreciate.

’cause so many horror movies with something bad happening at the dance. He drops one of the, a whole light rack, like a whole rack of hanging lights on a bunch of people. The hand us. Mm-hmm. All that was good. That’s great. Molly and a friend escape into. The hallway sized 

Todd: vent. Vent, they could practically walk in this vent.

Yeah. I 

Craig: know we’ve talked about this before, like the Vince in these movies are ridiculous, 

Todd: but this is, this is utterly ridiculous. They’re, they’re like lowering themselves through this shaft. I mean, through this, this giant fan. I like this bit though. I liked the concept of it. Molly lowers herself down.

Her friend tries to, and her friend somehow gets caught up in the rope and it. Ends up around her neck, so it looks like she’s hanging. So Molly kind of tries to pull her down, but then the shoe that was stuck in the fan to keep it, to keep it open suddenly gets knocked out and so the fan starts spinning and so this poor girl gets sucked back up into the fan and just chopped bits.

Craig: Yeah, 

Todd: I like that. That was a clever seat. 

Craig: Poor Tanya. Yeah. And then I don’t even remember how we get there, but. Then we cut back to Anton, who is still fighting with the hand, but the hand has now gone into hand puppets, 

Todd: a hand puppet. Oh my God. They, they were really stretching in the writer’s room for this one.

I think 

Craig: I actually like this and think it’s hilarious. The hand being in a puppet. That’s really funny. And I mean, I guess if you’re just gonna go for it, just go for it. But like, it doesn’t make like the puppet’s. Facial expressions change. Change. Yeah. How are you gonna explain that to me? It gets 

Todd: stupid.

Craig: It’s fine. It is stupid and it’s, it’s, it’s stoner stupid. And that’s, I don’t know, nothing wrong with it. It was, it was maybe a, a bridge too far for me yesterday, but Okay. Whatever. Well, it’s funny, I’ll laugh at it. 

Todd: Honestly, if this kind of ridiculous donr comedy was happening throughout the movie, I think it would flow better, but it’s just bits and pockets of it here and there.

Craig: This is also when this hand puppet has Molly tied up to a car, which is on a, like on the roof of the, of a car. On a lift and it’s lifting it up to like this glowing pentagram on the ceiling. And this is the point where like, I guess Anton’s trying to get her down, but all he does is just rip her clothes off.

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: Not only does it happen, which is ridiculous enough, but that’s fine. But they call attention to it like every, like poor Jessica Alba has to. Act looking down at herself like, oh no, my clothes got torn off. I make it sexy. 

Todd: Like 

Craig: it’s so silly. 

Todd: So silly. I wanna know how the hand managed all this. I mean, it really tied her down there and drew that Penta pentagram on the ceiling.

I 

Craig: know. 

Todd: And it’s very capable, 

Craig: I guess. I don’t know. 

Todd: Yeah. Anton is fighting the hand because the hand has a grip on this lever that’s pulling her up. It’s that classic really. Right. Okay. Power play against, yeah, and she’s, you 

Craig: know, she’s just the writhing, screaming sexy girl. Like 

Todd: Yeah, 

Craig: it’s very cliche and I’m sure that’s exactly what they were going for, like, 

Todd: for sure.

Craig: I get it. I get it. It just didn’t, uh, it didn’t land with me yesterday. Maybe it did when I was 17. I don’t know. I don’t remember. But the way that they get the hands to stop lifting, the thing is to give it a bong hit. 

Todd: Yeah, like suddenly a gets a great idea of the, one of 

Craig: the dead guys has like an exhaust, like an entire car exhaust.

Like it’s as big as his torso, but he’s turned it into a bong and he calls it Mighty 

Todd: Joe Bong. 

Craig: I saw some crazy bongs in college, but never that big. Yeah, and I don’t know, the hand gets high and the lift stops, and then Debbie shows up again. I guess she’s not dead. I thought she was dead. No, but apparently she’s not.

Todd: Nope. She ran in with the, her ceremonial dagger and chucks it in the air, just as the hand is flying through the air. 

Craig: Something she, she has. I think a ceremonial dagger that I don’t recall ever having seen before this. Um, she has, oh, she was trying to 

Todd: stab what’s his name with it earlier time. Okay. All right.

So 

Craig: she’s got this fancy dagger and she just throws it at the hand and it goes through the hand and the hand just disappears. I swear to God in my notes, I have, that’s it. 

Todd: Then Seth Green’s character literally says that. 

Clip: That’s it. That’s it. No explosions, no Hell fire, no. I mean, no, I’m glad everybody’s all right.

But yeah, that was weak. 

Craig: So Lisa? Yeah, and then she then sexy vivica a fox like grabs Seth Green and says, time for the ritualistic sex and just walks out.

Todd: Oh god. Oh man. Time for the ritual. I still, first, I 

Craig: like, I’ll, I’ll wait until the day I die for somebody to. Grab me by the call and say, time for the ritualistic sex. No, I mean, if it’s time, it’s time. 

Todd: I know, right? Horror movies though, ritualistic sex doesn’t always turn out so well. Well, 

Craig: I mean, if you’re gonna go, 

Todd: be willing 

Craig: to give it a shot.

Fair enough. If you got, if you gotta go anyway, I don’t know. Okay, so then Molly makes out with Anton and somebody says. ’cause I have it in quotes. As usual, marijuana saves an otherwise disastrous day. 

Todd: Oh, it’s, it’s fine. And then somehow Anton is crushed by the car, right? Like they, somebody knocks a lever or something and they realize Anton is underneath it.

And by this they’re like, oh, shoot, Anton. And we don’t really get to see what’s happened to him because the other two are too distracted by the garage door. That’s opening. To reveal that white light that earlier they said they didn’t, they chose not to walk into ’cause it was too much effort. Right. And this time they decide to walk into it and the final scene is Anton is alive and in bed and Molly is Hol whole body 

Craig: cast.

Yeah. 

Todd: Yeah. And Molly’s hovering over and and him and she says, I can’t even believe it. You blew off heaven to kick it with me. And he is like, yeah. Then the two appear as angels. The guys say something funny. The two dead guys, 

Craig: his friends. Yeah. 

Todd: Then they walk away and then, and they turn off the light. 

Craig: Yeah.

And, and, and there’s the, the glowing message. I’m under the bed and then that’s it. Right. Like I feel like that’s where it ends. I was really looking forward to watching this. Mm-hmm. And then there were bad circumstances and I kind of had to watch it late last night and finished it just before we started talking.

I was really looking forward to it. I remembered liking it and there were so many things. I love Seth Green. I really liked Devin swa. I think that the concept is funny, but whether it be circumstance or or whatever, it just didn’t work for me this time. I just, I just wasn’t into it. 

Todd: Too dumb for Craig.

That’s, that’s a pretty, that’s a pretty dumb movie. Yeah. 

Craig: That, that’s a low bar. Yeah. 

Todd: Usually I’m the one who’s like, oh, this movie’s too stupid for me. And you’re like, what? Come on, chill out, relax. I love dumb comedies, but yeah, I 

Craig: don’t, I do, and I didn’t hate it either. Like I wasn’t mad at it, you know, I wasn’t like, I didn’t feel like I was wasting my time.

If you haven’t seen it, you know, I know Todd, that you said when we started that you hadn’t seen it and you didn’t particularly enjoy it. But if you’re, you know, a Gen Xer who’s a horror fan, watch it. It’s fine and, and you should know about it and you should be able to talk about it, but it’s for educational purposes.

For educational purposes. I mean, we we’re Gen X, we have a responsibility. We’re like, we’re, we’re, we’re the last tough responsible. Generation. Yeah, exactly. So you owe, you owe it to the children.

Todd: I mean, I have to say I didn’t hate it either. I didn’t think it was terrible. I just, that’s the thing. Lost patience with it, and I think I already said it. I think it was just a bunch of dumb kind of obvious donr jokes, which were funny, mixed in with a few surprises, which were nice. But all just kind of peppered with random scenes of hand gags.

Yeah. And there wasn’t a real flow through. I didn’t really understand what the end game was gonna be, where the story was headed, where did this come from? Is it gonna continue to be a threat? Who is this woman chasing it? Right. None of that is ever bothered to be explained, and I, you wouldn’t think it would need it, but I don’t know, without it, I think just the culmination of all these things, it just felt like a big.

Massive scenes that I really wasn’t terribly invested in, and I was kind of ready for it to be over, so 

Craig: it could have been an SNL skit. It could have been a three minute funny thing, it could have been a recurring SNL kit that could have been funny, but all stitched together. It’s kind of a long hour and a half.

Clip: Yeah. Put it 

Craig: on in the background. Yeah, like when, when you’re vacuuming it’s better than nothing. Watch it. 

Todd: Watch it. Don’t listen. That’s, 

Craig: that’s my, that’s my glowing review. It’s better than nothing. 

Todd: Well, speaking of better than nothing, thanks for listening to another episode of our podcast. If you enjoyed it, please share it with a friend.

Let them know where we are. Write a review for us up on Apple Podcast or wherever you listen to your podcast. Those really help other people find us. If you’re really enthusiastic, you can find our Patreon at patreon.com/chainsaw podcast for just five bucks a month. You get access to our uncut phone calls that lead to these.

We have lots of little goodies up there, minisodes, you name it. A great little community in the background. We’ve got a good book club going there. Cool. Waited a long time. Now. We’ve been reading Grady Hendrix, Stephen King and Christopher Pike. We dip in and out of young adult fiction and get into the more serious stuff.

If you, that all appeals to you, just go there, uh, patreon.com/uh, chainsaw podcast and you can support us there as well. However you support us. We really appreciate it. Our home online is chainsaw horror.com or leave us a message there or on our Facebook or Instagram pages. Thank you for listening and we’ve got more Halloween movies.

Coming your way this month. Happy spooky month. Until next time, I’m Todd. And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

This week, we kick off Halloween month with the 1996 cult classic, ‘The Craft’. Dive into the Halloween spirit with this movie that combines teenage angst with witchcraft.

Craig shares his long-time love for the film, while Todd discusses his first impressions after watching. Listen as we explore the memorable performances by Robin Tunney, Fairuza Balk, and Neve Campbell, discuss the film’s strong feminist themes, and highlight the unforgettable 90s soundtrack.

Tune in for an in-depth discussion of the movie’s impacts and legacy. Don’t miss it! And Happy Spooky Season, listeners!

Episode 460, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig; And I’m Craig.

Todd: Well, we’re starting our Halloween month, about a week late this year, but I think that, uh, we couldn’t have done it much better than with a movie that I think have evokes a bit of the Halloween spirit deals with teenagers and witches and witchy stuff felt like Halloween to me.

Anyway, we’re doing 1996 as The Craft, which I know is a movie that you’ve been wanting to do for ages, Uhhuh, and a movie that, believe it or not, I had never seen until now. 

Craig: Yeah, 

Todd: I, I do not like, I cannot believe it. It’s wild. This came out the same year as Scream, right? Yep. And it stars a couple of the same people.

It’s got NPH Campbell and Skeet Ulrich in it. Mm-hmm. I believe they had a bet or going to see which one would do better at the box office. But, uh, either way it worked out pretty well for those two, didn’t it? 

Craig: Yeah. That was a funny story, I guess. She won, I guess she bet on Scream and his punishment was like he had to stand in Times Square or in some big public space in a chicken suit and like talk about, I don’t know, something super random like World War II trivia or something like that.

Yeah, I don’t know. I just found that story so funny because like the end of the story was like, and forever after he had an affinity for mascots and makes regular contributions to like the Mascots Association of America. That’s a real rich person thing to do, isn’t it? It’s 

Todd: funny. That could, that story is could be totally made up, but I like it.

I love it too, nonetheless. It’s funny. Yeah. This movie was definitely evoking nineties vibes for me. Totally From, man, 

Craig: are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? Like watching it again yesterday. This is the nineties of the nineties movies. The cast is, is crazy. Robin Tuni, who, and maybe I should specify late nineties, like this is, yeah, the era of my high school days, late high school and you know Robin Tuni, who is the star of this movie, all just.

Immediately prior to this starting Empire Records, which was another huge movie for me, like, oh yeah, I loved that movie. Fara Balk is in this movie. And I have always loved her since the time that she was a little girl. Mm-hmm. And I kind of felt like I grew up with her. And at this point in time, she was the person that I so badly wanted to be.

She was just you. Like, I’m gonna do what I want to do and I’m gonna be who I wanna be kind of person, both in real life and in this movie. And I loved that. Like you said, Skee, Dorich, nev Campbell, Brecken Meyer, Christine Taylor, like the most nineties. And like these were all huge people that you were seeing in these teen movies all the time.

Right. And to see them all together in this movie, and Christine Taylor playing against Type, which I loved. Ugh, strap yourself in because Craig’s gonna love all over this movie. Yeah. I was real, like, I knew going in, I couldn’t believe that we hadn’t done it already. And I knew going in that it was one of my favorite movies, but I hadn’t watched it in a while.

I mean, it hadn’t been that long. I put an on every once in a while, but as we say often, it had been a long time since I had sat down and put it on from beginning to end and, and watched it closely with a, a more critical eye. And I just loved every second of it. Like there’s, there’s not a part about it that I thought was boring or poorly executed.

I think it’s beautifully shot. I think that it’s wonderfully acted. I the soundtrack blows my mind like, oh man, this soundtrack is so good. And. I say that as somebody who, as a teenager, I was a junior in high school when this came out, so as a junior and senior I had the soundtrack on CD and listened to it ad nauseum.

It is so good. Hmm. I also had the theater poster for this movie on my wall all through college. It was the only theater poster that I had, but all through college I had I, I love this movie. 

Todd: It sounds like it was 

Craig: a shaping influence for your adult, your early adult life. I think that there was something that I liked about these young women who had been kind of pushed aside.

Reclaiming their power. Yeah. I, I think there was something about that that was really appealing to me, and I thought that they were all interesting and unique and I was rooting for them. Mm. I just, I, 

Todd: I really liked it. Yeah. There is a very strong, you know, you could say feminist message behind this movie where you’re right.

Like, we have so many of these team comedies where women are the dumb blonde and women are, you know, the, the victims of pranks and things, and are sometimes just side characters cast for, for jokes or for laughs or, you know, you know how it is with women in, in film. This, like you said, these women are strong, they’re powerful from the very get go the moment you meet them.

You know, these women are taking control of their lives at a time when they’re teenagers and they’re very confused. You know, it, teen years are tough for all of us. They really are. They’re filled with emotions and there’s lots of social dynamics you have to navigate at school. You know, you’re nervous about relationships and about things like that.

And I think one of the really cool things about this movie that really does set it apart from a lot of other films, especially at this time, is that it really tackles that head on and, and you never feel like these women are villains. They’re doing the best they can. They’re, they’re trying with the resources that they’ve come up with to get this power and things get out of control.

But in a way, I sort of feel sorry for all of them by the end of the movie, you know? Yeah. Can’t really blame them for what they’re doing. And I can’t really say that even in the moment that they would be able to go like, this is wrong. We should stop. You know? There comes that point in the film where it happens and one of the characters does just sort of plow through and go overboard anyway, you know, so that becomes, I guess you could say the defacto villain.

But even in that, I felt sympathy for that character. So it’s good. It’s not as this, it’s just different. And I like that about the movie. 

Craig: Yeah. The power corrupts is, you know, one of the most universal themes. Yes. Of all time. And that’s great. I, I also would agree that this is a very feminist movie, but it’s my favorite kind of feminist piece in that it’s not preachy, like, like Right.

That doesn’t feel like the, that doesn’t feel like the point of the movie. Correct. It just is like these are strong women with agency. Yes. It’s not some big message about feminism. It’s just women. Are strong, you know, like Yeah. It’s not a message movie. Exactly. I agree. Yeah, I mean, I don’t even know where to start.

I took so many notes. Okay. So it’s written by Peter Ardi, co-written with the director, Andrew Fleming. Peter Ardi wrote Flatliners, which I also liked, and I can see some similarities, I think. Yes. Just a little bit in tone. Yes. 

Todd: Tonally, it’s very similar to Flat Liners. You know what I like about it? And I think the same thing we did Flat Liners a while ago.

The Flat Liners is sort of a matter of fact, movie uhhuh. Things just happen and you watch them happen. It’s not like a big deal is necessarily made of any of it, or you know, you have these moments of drama, but they feel very natural almost like all of this could be happening in real life. There aren’t like cliche moments.

There aren’t like these right soliloquy or these kind of big moments really for any character necessarily. It just feels like a movie that’s playing out like real life would play out, and I felt that way about Flatliners. I feel similarly about this. 

Craig: It’s directed by Andrew Fleming, who right now is most famous for directing Emily in Paris, which is very successful, hugely successful.

I’ve never seen it. All I’ve heard about it is that it’s awful, but wildly popular. Now, again, I, I can’t make any judgment because I haven’t seen it. Maybe I would really like it too. I don’t know. But I was looking back further in his career and he did a movie before this called Threesome, which. Was like a sexual awakening for me.

Do you remember that movie with Laura Flynn Boyle and one of God, no. I don’t feel like me. One of the Baldwin brothers and another famous guy from the nineties, I can’t think of his name. And the whole premise was like, it was three friends, a straight guy, a gay guy, and a straight girl, and they just kind of got entered.

Twined and they were mm-hmm. It was, it was a love triangle kind of thing. And then at the end they had the titular threesome and Oh boy,

good times. Uh, yeah, they, because the one guy was straight, so like, they were like, I, I’m sure it was very tastefully shot, but the way that I remember it is that they were all naked and they were like sandwiching, Laura Flynn Boyle and the gay one, his hands started to creep to Steven Baldwin’s. Butt, but then he like retreated, like, I shouldn’t do this.

And then Stephen Baldwin grabbed his hand and put it firmly on his ass. Oh boy.

Todd: Craig entered a new plane of existence at that day. 

Craig: Yeah. He also did a really funny movie called Dick with, uh, Kirsten Dunt and Michelle Williams. Uh, right. And it was about the, it was about the Watergate scandal, but from the perspective of these two teenage girls who inadvertently exposed to the whole thing, it was very funny.

I remember liking it a lot. He 

Todd: also did Bad Dreams, uh, his first film, which we did earlier this year. Oh, I don’t, what, what was it? I don’t remember. That was the one. Oh, the woman who’s put in the mental, in the hospital and uh, okay. It’s got The Nightmare on Elm Street. Rip off. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yeah. We, we thought it was kind of fun, but also pretty silly.

Craig: I liked it. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. But again, this movie for me, just, I don’t know why, but it. Is virtually perfect and folks out there, I’m not suggesting that it’s necessarily like it should be added to the National Film Institute Registry or anything. Like, I’m not saying it’s an a, like a perfect movie, just, it just works so well for me.

Yeah, and it’s not a Halloween movie and that it’s not set at Halloween, but from the very beginning it feels halloweeny, you know? Right. You’re seeing crystal balls and potions and candles and a pentagram and these three girls sitting around all these candles chanting, now is the time. This is the hour.

Ours is the magic, ours is the power over and over again, and it cuts into a tight closeup on Farah Ba, who we later learned is named Nancy, and then it just cuts. To clouds in the sky and this great Our Lady Peace cover of the Beatles tomorrow. Never knows. Oh God, I, I’m, I’m, I’m gonna keep mentioning these songs because I could sing every one of them.

’cause I really did. I You couldn’t wear CDs out, but if you could, I would have. I listened to it so much. And the cast list comes up, and then we meet our main character Sarah, who’s played by Robin. Honey, I was surprised to find out that Angelina Jolie and Alicia Silverstone were considered for this role.

Yeah. These types of trivia facts always shock me because I was like, how could Angelina Jolie or Alicia Silverstone being in this movie, they’re grownups. 

Todd: And then I’m like, wait, 

Craig: this movie 

Todd: came out 30 years ago. Yeah. They were hog back then. I mean, Alicia Silverstone of course. Was this Oh yeah, this was, well clueless was a little before this, right?

93 or something like that. I don’t, no, no. I think it would’ve been closer to this time. I’m not sure. 4 95. She was in the Aerosmith videos. Yeah, she looks a lot like Robin Tni, honestly. Uh, 

Craig: kind of. 

Todd: Oh, come on. 

Craig: And Angelina Jolie. You know, I don’t remember when Gia came out. I think her big break was 

Todd: hackers, right.

Craig: Well, yeah, hackers would’ve been, I’m trying, the girl interrupted, she won the Oscar for, and I feel like that’s what really set her career on fire. But anyway, whatever. Side note. Anyway, Sarah is moving to Los Angeles with her family and it’s not really important except for that. It comes up later on the way.

There’s a big snake motif in the cab on the way to her house. She sees a huge snake in a tree, and then while they’re moving into their house, a creepy homeless man like walks through the front door right behind her and doesn’t threaten her physically, but like offers her a snake and scares her. So the dad.

Runs are off. I have the whole plot here. I I the outline completely don’t shut. Yeah. I do like, because like I said, there’s not a part that I didn’t like and it moves quickly. There’s, there’s a point, I don’t remember where it is in my note, but there’s a point where I’m like, we’re only 15 minutes in and so much has happened, or something like that.

Todd: We do end up learning about these three girls. That’s, uh, what, Bonnie, Nancy and Rochelle. 

Craig: Right? Because she, Sarah, Sarah goes to a Catholic school and she doesn’t have an immediately good experience, but we are introduced to these three girls. The girls that you just mentioned. 

Todd: Yeah. And they’re like, um, sort of your, I don’t know that, you know, they would, you might say outcast girls.

They’re the click who is getting a little goth. Well, particularly Nancy, Nancy’s the Za Ball character. Each of them have a problem, you know, kind of a, a problem with the movie focuses around Nancy lives in this trailer. Her stepfather is abusive, and, uh, she’s got a very unstable home life. Bonnie has these burn scars.

How did, did we ever hear how she got them? It’s not important. 

Craig: I don’t think so. I think it just said she was burned when she was a kid. So she’s got burns over large part of her body, her back, and her shoulder and upper arms. 

Todd: And interestingly enough, they don’t show up until she has no shirt on. It’s not like she’s got a big burn scar on her face.

You know, that’s like, 

Craig: no, but she’s insecure about it, of course. And Rochelle’s thing is that she’s black. I, I think that there was a cut scene where we find out that she’s actually the only. Black girl in this Catholic private school, which I’m sure would be challenging before they cast Rachel. True, who is of course a black actress.

That wasn’t going to be the thing it was gonna be that she had an eating disorder, but when they cast Rachel True, who was 29 when they filled this playing a teenager. Funny. Right. The oldest, they changed it and I, I think that she was initially a little bit uncomfortable with that, but ultimately I think that she was really happy with it and glad that they did it.

And, you know, giving them each kind of like a unique problem. I suppose one could call that cliche, you could certainly call it a Hollywood cliche. Yeah. That these girls are outcast when they’re all gorgeous, right. Like they’re, they’re all gorgeous. I mean, FARA balk is a type for sure. Like if you’re not into, if into Goth girls, you’re not gonna be into her.

But if you are, she’s. Stunning. Right. Just gorgeous. In the beginning of the movie, they do their best to ugly up Bonnie Nev Campbell, like they make her look like she doesn’t shower. Like her hair is all greasy and stringy and she plays it very mousy. And of course then they have their glow ups later. And like, oh surprise, you took her glasses off and took down her ponytail and she’s gorgeous.

Like Right. It’s definitely a Hollywood cliche, but, but the difference is less stark here. Well, true. And I think that these actresses pull it off. Oh yeah. I just think that it’s well done in the hands of actresses who weren’t. Talented. I think it could have been very cliched and just another not great teen horror movie, but I just think there’s a, a lot of, and again, that’s not to say that on their own, any one of them is amazing.

Right. I just feel like this came together really well. It’s just really well casted and, and 

Todd: like I said earlier, kind of when we were talking about, you know, the, the, the tone of the movie, everyone in this movie kind of has their moment, but I’m not sure anyone really outs, shines the other. It definitely revolves around Sarah of course.

And so she’s the eyes, you know, of the audience of what we’re, what we’re seeing. But aside from that, I felt that it was just really, it, it dealt with them in a very balanced way. Obviously Nancy is sort of the leader. She’s the energy, I think, behind this group because she’s the most. Gregarious, and I dunno, she’s maybe the one with the biggest chip on her shoulder, at least obviously outwardly rebelling teens, when they’re going through stress, they all deal with it in a different way.

Some people withdraw, some people really get into activities and friend groups, and some people you know, are like, I’m gonna do everything my parents don’t want me to do. They’re gonna dye their hair and they’re gonna pierce everything they can pierce and they’re gonna do whatever they can to quote unquote rebel because they’re reacting to this, uh, trauma, this difficult part in their life.

And so you see that played out, I think, in these four characters, really in a very realistic way. I thought that wasn’t overblown, it wasn’t overdone, it wasn’t overdramatized, it just felt like my high school. You know? Yeah, it really did. Right. And that’s a strength of the movie. And, uh, like you said, the, the characters play it really well, and they all feel very realistic and feel very balanced.

And I also like the, their relationship with each other. I do too. I think it’s interesting that these three characters, you know, when we meet up with them, they are clearly turning to witchcraft to help them. We don’t really know why. We just know that they’re, they’ve gotten into it and that’s good enough.

Yeah. 

Craig: And oh my God, it was the nineties. Like I, I’m sure that this movie sparked a lot of interest in wca, probably. But my God, even before this movie, like, oh yeah. I was like buying stick incense and burning it in my room and like mm-hmm. People had like crystals and stuff, like, I don’t know, it was a really weird time, perfect timing for this movie.

I think Robin t is the star of the movie, but I think that Fara Balk steals it, and, and she has. More dynamic to play, to be fair. But I just really like her. I’ve always been a fan of hers, like I said. And what you were saying was, you know, she’s the leader and she comes across as very tough and aggressive.

But I think you’re right in your assessment that that’s kind of out of necessity. You know, she comes from this really volatile environment where she lives in a trailer with her drunk mother. And you said abusive stepfather? I don’t know. He leers at her and, and there’s a point in the movie where he’s physically aggressive with the mother, but just all around it seems like her.

Situation is such that she has to be tough. She doesn’t have any choice. Right. You know, even with, with the goth thing, I think that that’s armor. You know 

Todd: what I do, you know what I mean? Oh, of course. Yeah. That’s, I mean, that’s kinda what I was saying, like this is, this is a way to protect yourself mm-hmm.

From the world. And you’re the CEUs, it’s your own door. I don’t know. Right? No, no. Yes. I have a really good way of putting this, but yeah, you’re just, uh, yeah, you’re protecting yourself. That’s, that’s very common. 

Craig: Mm-hmm. And I, I think that you could argue that ultimately Nancy is the one who is the most insecure, but she hides that, um, by being so aggressive.

Anyway, there’s also these three jerks. Chris is the leader of their group, played by Skeet Ulrich. Then there’s Mitt played by Brecken Meyer, who I’ve always, he’s so funny. And he’s, he’s little and short, so he’s rarely, if ever, gonna be a leading man. He’s always gonna be. Kind of a character player, but he’s great.

He was, he’s in this, he was in, he was the fun skateboarder in Clueless, and he is been in tons and tons of stuff, especially around that time, but he’s still working. He was in a really good episode of Black Mirror in the last couple of years. He played an astronaut, you should check that out. It was really good.

Hmm. And then there’s Trey played by a guy named Nathaniel Marston, who I didn’t recognize, but, so I went to his IMDB page and found that he passed away in 2015. He didn’t do a lot more acting. He got into production, but that was unfortunate. Yeah. Passed young. I don’t, I don’t know why, but Bonnie read in the Almanac that something good was gonna be coming today.

So she thinks it might be their fourth. They need four. I don’t know for witchy reasons to like call the corners like north, south, east and west or whatever. Later that same day, she’s in a class with Sarah and she sees Sarah balance a pencil on its lead on her desk. Make it spin. So she’s pretty confident that that’s gonna be their fourth.

I 

Todd: mean, it’s a pretty obvious thing. I’m, I’m surprised that Sarah herself is like, oh, this is just a little parlor trick I do. 

Craig: Well, she, she says later she can do things, but she doesn’t really know how, and she doesn’t really have control of it. Right. And it’s suggested later also that while these girls, the other three girls are studying witchcraft and maybe potentially can do.

Some things. It’s really Sarah that has natural power. Right. And I, and I think that we’re meant to get that she inherited that from her deceased mother, who, there’s a picture of her deceased mother that features prominently throughout the movie. Well, 

Todd: it’s pretty much told to her by the proprietor of that occult shop that, that they start frequenting later in the movie.

Uh, she tells her she inherited it from her mother, which made me think, how did she know? 

Craig: Well, I, I think she just says, you’re a natural witch. Maybe you got it from your mother. Ah, okay. I, I, I read that in the shooting script. It was made more evident that the other three girls really don’t have any power at all.

It was just when they brought Sarah in, they were kind of able to. Leach off of her power. 

Todd: Hmm. 

Craig: Which I think still 

Todd: reads, I think, yeah. 

Craig: I think it, it reads to me, but even though Bonnie thinks, oh, she’s here. This girl is gonna be our fourth, Nancy is I think, threatened from the beginning. Mm-hmm. And she doesn’t want to bring somebody else in.

Particularly somebody who potentially has power and could usurp her spot as the leader. So she initially rejects her, but they turn it around. But not before Chris starts flirting with Sarah. Oh shit. It’s the bitches of Eastwick. 

Clip: What? Whatever you do, stay away from them. Why? Well, you see the one on the right, she’s a major slut.

I mean, I don’t know from experience or anything, but the one in the middle, she’s got these burn scars all over her body. I haven’t seen them, but friends of mine have. Anyway. They’re No, nevermind. What? What? They’re witches. 

Craig: Witches. 

Clip: Well, that’s what people say, 

Craig: you know? He’s being very charming, so I can understand why she’s char by him.

And he’s like, you can come watch me at football practice if you want. And she’s like, okay, well we’ll see. And then she totally goes, right. That’s when the three girls approach her. They introduce themselves, and Nancy warns Sarah about Chris. She says he spreads disease. I know from personal experience he’s a jerk.

The only thing that bothers me about this movie, and it doesn’t really bother me because I think it is real to life. Chris is a jerk. Yeah. And Sarah can never get that through her big stupid head. He’s, he’s mean to her. I don’t know. We’ll, we’ll get into that more, I guess. The girls invite Sarah to go shopping at this occult shop, and on the way there, Nancy notices that Sarah has.

Suicide scars on her wrist. Interestingly enough, Robin Honey also had suicide scars on her wrist in the movie she had done immediately prior to this Empire Records. Oh. Which I hadn’t remembered. I just read about it. But they go to this occult shop, which we’ll come back to multiple times. And there’s this shop lady, I don’t know if she has a name.

I don’t know the actress’s name, but there’s this shop lady, the other girls are just kind of looking around and like shoplifting and stuff. But the shop lady kind of takes interest in Sarah right away. She tells her that she should buy this book and it’s the craft and uh, talks to her about candles and energy and all kinds of thing.

So it seems like maybe she gets a vibe off of Sarah from the beginning, but, but that’s just the beginning. Yeah. As they’re leaving, they’re walking down the street. This is all in Los Angeles and they seem to be in a kind of not great part of Los Angeles. There’s a lot of homeless and prostitutes and, and not good stuff.

And that snake guy. From before shows up and confronts Sarah again. And when I say snake guy, I mean he’s holding a snake like a little snake. He says, I had a dream about you. He’s talking to Sarah and kinda like not chasing her, but following her down the street. And she’s obviously uncomfortable and trying to get away, and he’s shouting behind her, I had a dream about you.

In my dream, you were dead. Dead. And Sarah runs across the street and he follows, and all at once, all four of our witches turn and look at him and the camera makes it very clear that this is happening. And he gets brutally hit and run over by a truck, right? Like he doesn’t just get hit by the truck, he gets hit by the truck.

We see that. Then it cuts to a shot under the truck where he, his head gets run over. It’s really striking. I mean, I thought it looked fantastic. You know, again, I’ve seen this movie so many times, but I watched movies, we’ve talked about this before. I watched them differently. When I’m preparing to talk about them for the show.

Right. I’m, I’m watching ’em closely. You know, I’m, I’m, I’m really looking at things that we can talk about, and I, I thought it looked fantastic. You know, sometimes when I’m watching movies for Pleasure, I’m like, oh, wow, that cinematography is really great. But not usually, usually I’m just watching the movie, 

Todd: right?

Yeah. But this, 

Craig: it looks fantastic, but they all get really excited and run off to like some, I don’t know, chic hobo encampment where they sit down and talk for a second and they’re like, you know, this, this must be it. We’ve got the power. And Nancy, she starts talking about Menal. It’s, it’s spelled M-A-N-O-N.

But the, it sounds like this. A mano, they pronounce it strangely. 

Clip: You guys, maybe he’ll really listen Now, who? Manno. Oh, what’s that? That’s like, God, no man invented God. This is older than that. Do. Do you guys wish that the devil, it’s like God and the devil. I mean, it’s everything. It’s, it’s the trees, it’s the ground, it’s the rocks, it’s the moon, it’s everything.

It’s nature. Yeah. If God and the devil were playing football, manel would be the stadium that they played on. It would be the sun that shone down on them. 

Craig: It’s all very connected to like nature and energy and, and you know, it’s not difficult to wrap your head around. It’s just kind of like a divine, all powerful natural thing.

But he says, or she says. He fixes you, he takes all the bad stuff about you and makes it all better again. And Sarah says Nothing makes everything all better. And she gets up and walks away and one of the girls is like, where are you going? She’s like, you guys are kind of freaking me out. She leaves and goes and hangs out with Chris.

Yeah. And there’s a great jewel song, uh, in the background of this. Yes. Todd, I’m serious. You know, and everybody listening, go to Spotify, go to iTunes, wherever you get your music and download the soundtrack. Especially if you were a teenager in the nineties and you were into those like indie alternative radio stations.

So many great and, and Jewel was certainly not Indie alternative, but this is not, I don’t think that this is a song that she released on any of her albums. I think it was just for the soundtrack, and it’s a great song, and I don’t think it’s in the movie, but. In the middle of it, on the soundtrack, there’s a rap moment where, where Jewel wraps.

No way she wraps. Oh God. It, I, it may be a little bit of a stretch to call it a wrap, but. It sounds like, it sounds like a wrap to me. I mean, I could do it for you. Do it, Greg. Do it. She goes excited to hear who we will become. Gonna lay out in the water, go back to where I’m from and it goes on, it goes on more than 

Todd: that.

Oh, thanks. That keeps me from getting flagged for copyright violation on YouTube. You, you just sing it so I don’t have to 

Craig: cut it in. And again, I don’t think the rap is in the movie, but the, the, it’s, it’s great. The whole soundtrack is so good. Chris says, let’s go back to my house. Nobody’s there. And she says, no, she’s not rude about it or anything.

They’ve only hung out once. Yeah. And he’s like, okay, cool, whatever. But the very next day she goes to school, to immediately find out that he has been spreading rumors about her. Not only that they did in fact have sex, but that she was the worst he’d ever had, or something like that. Yeah. He’s a dick. 

Todd: He’s a dick.

And then he just totally just trashes her. He’s not even angling like, this guy’s not even smart about it. He’s not playing the long game with this girl. Suddenly now he’s like, yeah, forget about you. It’s just nuts. I know it’s frustrating. Yeah. I guess, 

Craig: you know, not necessarily unrealistic, especially in high school, 

Todd: but you’re right, it is a bit much, I mean, it’s just to get us to the, it’s the catalyst to draw her closer to the girls.

Yes. Because now the girls are, right now they can bond and do their 

Craig: thing, which is literally what they do. Right, right. And we, we now get this montage of the things that you already alluded to, the reasons all of their problems, and Rochelle is facing racism. Christine Taylor. Who I have always liked. I, she’s, I thought she was hilarious when she played Marsha Brady.

I, I’ve always liked her. I still like her and she plays her beautiful blonde, stereotypically popular character in this, but she’s horribly racist. And I don’t know what, how I felt about it at the time, but in hindsight, I’m almost surprised how far they went with this. She’s just blatant. She, she’s not subtly, yeah, it’s not subtle.

Right. It’s not subtle. It’s outright like she just bullies her. In general, Rochelle is a diver and Christine Taylor, Laura is, you know, always messing with her when she’s trying to dive or whatever. But then in the locker room, you know, they’re getting ready. Laura’s brushing her hair and she goes, oh, gross.

There’s a pubic hair in my brush. Oh wait, that’s just one of Rochelle’s little nappy hairs. And yeah, Rochelle confronts her and is like, why are you doing this to me? Like, what did I ever do to you? Laura says, do you really wanna know? And she’s like, yes, Laura, I really want to know. And she says, I don’t like Negros.

Sorry. I know, right. 

Todd: One could also almost argue that this is maybe a bit too far. Like you said, just like how Skeet o’s character is just like so immediate and blatantly dickish to this girl. There’s no subtlety about this either, and I don’t know, it, it’s, it’s a bit much, I guess it gets its, I think it’s a really, 

Craig: I think it’s really, really clever in the writing because they establish those two characters as vile.

Like these are just vile people that we hate. Yeah. And we are very much on the side of the girls like, yeah, these are bad people. They deserve to get what’s coming to them. That’s true. I think that that’s an excellent setup. For later when they do get it, for us to go through the same emotional journey that the girls go through.

That yeah, these people may have been bad and they may have been done thing, they may have done bad things, but they’re still human and that doesn’t necessarily mean that they deserve to suffer to the extent that they ultimately do. Right, right. They’re set up to be so bad so that we are supposed to have this catharsis of empathy later in the movie.

Yeah. I think 

Todd: you’re probably right about that. So it works. It comes across as a bit much in the moment, but you’re right, it, it does work emotionally as the movie goes on. 

Craig: As you already said, Bonnie’s got scars. She’s going for these treatments. Her doc, her doctor is Brenda Song, who was the narrator of Desperate Housewives, and it’s a needle therapy.

Now, I have no idea if this is an actual scientific thing, but it looks miserable. It, you know, yeah, it’s a needle. I would say a tattoo needle because it works in that way, possibly pokes. It’s constantly poking, but it’s not a tattoo Needle. Tattoo needles are fine. This looks like a pretty big needle, and it’s going into scar tissue, which I can’t imagine.

How painful that would be. And yeah. You know, we’re shown how painful it is because Nev Campbell screams in agony while this is happening. Sarah’s still dealing with the trauma of losing her mom. And, well, her mom died, uh, in childbirth, but she’s having flashbacks to her suicide. We see Nancy’s trashy trailer trip life, and then they decide to go on a field trip together.

Mm-hmm. And I don’t mean a school field trip, they skip school to go on a trip to a literal field. Yes. And they take a bus and a Juliana Hatfield song called Witches Song plays in the background. It’s so good. And they get off the bus. And this is kind of the iconic scene from the movie. One of, at least I remember it was in the trailer, at least that’s how I remember it.

They get off the bus and the bus driver stops them and says. Hey girls, be careful. There’s lots of weirdos out there. And Farah Bull looks at ’em and says, we are the weirdos, Mister. So good. It’s funny. And then they, then they do their witchy stuff. They call the corners, you know, each of them has a direction.

Robin Honey is north. I don’t remember what the other ones are. And they make wishes they wish for what they want. Rochelle wants to be loved, or I don’t remember, but she says something about Laura. Sarah asks to love herself more and to be loved more by others like Chris. And she’s like, I know you guys.

It’s super lame. They’re all like, okay, whatever. Bonnie wants to be beautiful inside and out. And when it comes to Nancy, she just says that she wants all the power of Menno. Yeah. And after that, all of these butterflies. Appear and they take that as a sign that they have been heard, and apparently they have, because immediately after that, things start to change.

Todd: Yeah. And, and again, when we’re talking about sort of the normal realistic aspect of this movie, I kind of like the fact that this isn’t this huge dramatic, like, you know, the, the clouds get dark and wind starts to whip around and you know, you know something is really happening. You really feel like they were probably teenagers in my high school who were doing this.

Sitting out in a field, having their own little ritual from some book they read or whatnot, and then a butterfly lands on one of their shoulders and they take it as a sign, and then the movie goes on very matter of factly, as these things start to happen. And I really liked that understated aspect of this part anyway, of the movie.

It, it really, I don’t know. The movie felt very breezy for me in a way for a while, you know? Yeah. I just liked that about, it was just fresh and unique and it 

Craig: kept me engaged. I agree entirely. That’s what I like it. It just keeps moving. It doesn’t drag at any point. Mm-hmm. And at this point, things start to go well for them.

Chris starts acting like a puppy dog around. I mean, it, I mean, it, it could only be the result of the a spell, the way that he’s acting. 

Todd: Oh, yeah. He’s kind of out of it. You know, there are moments where like, his buddies are like, razzing him and he kind of stares at them, like he hears what they’re saying, but he doesn’t understand what they’re saying.

And he is a little confused and he just turns back to carrying their books. You know, it just, it’s funny in a way. I mean, he’s the most clear. And the, the one girl who was, uh, Laura, I guess who was teasing Bonnie, she starts losing her hair. Oh, Rochelle, sorry. Her hair starts falling 

Craig: out. 

Todd: Right? 

Craig: Mm-hmm.

Bonnie’s treatment is a complete success. Like 

Todd: complete and utter 

Craig: uhhuh just 

Todd: wipe the scars away. 

Craig: Yep. They’re just totally gone. She’s a medical miracle. And also throughout this, there’s also just, I, I have a montage of them having fun because they are like, they’re just, yeah, they’re hanging out together, they’re having slumber parties, they’re laughing at one of the slumber parties.

They play light as a feather, stiff as a board, and it works. And they’re all like blown away. And it’s at this part that the movie feels so fun and like I wanna be friends with them, like mm-hmm. I wanna hang out with them and have magical powers. And have slumber parties and. Do fun stuff. And you know, because Bonnie’s treatment has been a complete success.

She changes overnight. She’s super confident. She’s wearing super sexy clothes. They all, over the course of the movie, they start out very dowdy. And over the course of the movie, as they reclaim their power, their look starts to become much more chic. They’ve all got their own individual styles, but they all start to become more chic.

Initially, Nancy’s upset because it doesn’t seem like her spell is working, but then in their trailer, her stepdad starts roughing up her mom and she screams at him and all the lights explode. And the stepdad has a heart attack and dies, and they find out that they’re getting a life insurance payout or a pension payout of $175,000.

Mm-hmm. And they’re so excited, and I’m excited for them. As a grownup in 2025, right? That’s not gonna go very far, you 

Todd: guys. No, I was thinking the same thing. I was a little judgmental of how they chose to spend their 175,000. Well, I 

Craig: saw that today it would be worth just a little bit less than twice that.

So somewhere around 350,000, which, you know, if I won $350,000, I’d scream and, and be excited too, but I’m not necessarily sure that it would get them this huge. Penthouse. Right. That they now get, that the girls visit them in. This was a part that I had never really considered before. But again, watching the movie closely, they go to visit Nancy’s new apartment and the mom is there and the mom is super, super happy and like Is is so, so happy to be showing off her new place, which is really nice.

Jukebox. It’s ridiculous night. Yep. And her jukebox that plays only Connie Francis, welcome to our Connie Francis tribute episode. Connie Francis passed away just a few months ago. Oh no. Yeah. But I think that this scene is interesting because their wishes are coming true and they’re all so happy about it.

And they visit Nancy and this is typical. The mom kinda wants to hang out with them or whatever, and Nancy’s like, no, mom lame. Leave us alone or whatever. Watching it this time, I was thinking, I think that this is our first hint at a major theme of this movie, that magic or, or power and money. Do not ensure happiness.

Mm. The mom has gotten what she wanted, everything she’s always wanted, including a jukebox that plays only Connie Francis. But she’s not happy, right? Yeah, she’s She’s still a drunk. She’s still alone. Yeah. It’s true. This is, again, only the half point at Nancy’s house. They, they learn and we learn about glamors, which are just magic.

Tricks basically where you can change the appearance of things and Sarah turns her eyes brown and then turns her hair, blonde, cosmetic type stuff. We’re at the halfway point now. This is where things turn, Chris becomes, it’s not immediate that you can tell, but it, it doesn’t take very long to realize that Chris is becoming dangerously infatuated and they go back to the magic shop and Sarah asks the lady how to undo a spell and she says, you can’t undo a spell.

It just has to run its course. There’s talk about black magic and white magic, and the shop lady says that there’s, there is neither white or black magic. Life just keeps a balance. But be careful because whatever you send out, you get back times three. Yeah. Obviously foreshadowing obviously. A warning, 

Todd: but Right, right.

And Nancy’s only half paying attention to this because she’s interested in this book that talks about Inca invocation of the spirit, I think, and tries to buy it. And of course the shop lady’s like, no, this is way too powerful for you. And she’s like, look, lady, you’re gonna sell it to me or not. She’s like, well, that’ll be 25 bucks.

So she does like, now, again, speaking of foreshadowing, it’s all contained within this scene, right? The, your choices, the things that you’re doing are going to have consequences. And Nancy doesn’t care and she just wants to take it up another level. And that’s exactly what they do. They go to the beach.

Mm-hmm. And they each bring an item. It’s funny how this is never explained to us, right? It’s not like they read the book and we see have this scene where they’re preparing. And so one person brings a bird, one person brings a snake. I can’t remember who all brings it. And I thought, okay, that’s interesting.

But nothing is said about it. It’s just part of this ritual that we just take in. And that’s fine with me. I like a little bit of mystery, but I guess there was a practicing Wiccan on set that they used as a consultant to make sure that everything was fairly accurate in these, these like spiritual type things.

They used actual chants and words from Uhhuh, from books and things like that. Although man, Manon or whatever, Manan is not an actual deity. 

Craig: No. They intentionally made up a deity so as not to offend. Anyone, they weren’t making jokes at the expense of, yeah, people who practice witchcraft. You know, I think they were presenting it in a respectful way.

There were rumors at the time that Za Balk was actually a Wiccan and she was not. She was interested in the occult. She bought an occult shop during the filming of this just because she came across it and you know, working on this and it was available and she bought it and she ran it for a very long time.

Todd: Yeah, it’s interesting, isn’t it? 

Craig: Yeah. She was just interested in that stuff. But yeah, they did have actual advisors on, and this scene is really cool. Like there are reasons. I hadn’t really thought about it before, but each of them has a different little animal. And Rochelle’s is a fish. Well, she’s a swimmer and a diver.

Bonnie’s is a butterfly. She wants to be beautiful. Sarah’s is a love bird. She is pining after Chris or whatever. And Nancy’s is a snake, which guess is about like rebirth, but also power. Right. And that’s not something that 17-year-old me would’ve paid any attention to, but I still kind of liked, I could at least make the association, oh, they each have their own symbol or spirit animal or, or whatever, right?

But when they do this big ritual invoking the spirit or whatever, it’s late at night on the beach and there’s a big storm rolling in, and they call the corners like they always do. But then Nancy does this thing where she invokes the spirit and she says, Manon fill me. And she gets struck by lightning and I guess they fall asleep.

The next thing we know it’s morning. And it seems, it seems like they’re waking up and they’re all there except Nancy. And they kinda look around for her and she is. Out on the sea, walking on water. Yeah, she’s Jesus at this point. She’s powerful. Obviously she’s powerful, but she’s also. Crazy. Yes. From this point forward, like she’s acting crazy and far balk can act crazy.

It’s great. Yeah. But she’s like, he blessed me. I can feel him running through my veins. And there are all these beach sharks, and she’s like, these are my gifts. I’m your daughter now. Ah.

But this is when Sarah starts to realize that things have gone too far, and she tries to talk to them about it. Bo, you know, they’re all being reckless. Bonnie who used to be nice, is now all narcissistic and bitchy, and she warns them that they’re throwing things out of balance and that it’s going to come back on them.

And she, Nancy and Sarah argue, and it’s, it’s a power struggle. And you can tell that Nancy is trying to establish dominance like it’s my way or the highway. So if you don’t like it. You can go. And at this point Sarah’s like, I don’t necessarily want to go, but she’s separates herself from them a little bit.

And, and Chris is stalking her, but she agrees to go to dinner with him and he doesn’t take her to dinner. He takes her out on a side road and, and they park and she tries to talk to him. But he’s not even, he’s not even paying attention to her. He’s not even there. No. He is not even there. And he’s like, and he even says something like, I, I, I don’t know what I think.

I can’t think all I can do is feel. And when she again, rejects him, he tries to rape her. Yeah. But she gets away and she tells the girls, and Nancy wants to find him immediately. Yeah. And she marches into this big, rich. Popular Kid party marches in, like she owns the place and there’s a Space Hog song playing behind her and it’s 

Todd: Good.

Space Hog. Space Hog. I forgot about those guys. They had like a song at one time and I was really liked them and I thought, oh, these guys are gonna going to do great things. 

Craig: It’s a great song. It’s called the Who? It. And she finds Chris and takes him upstairs and tries to seduce him as herself, but he rejects her, so she glamors herself to look like Sarah, and, oh, gods him.

I 

Todd: guess I gets real close to it. Think so. I guess it. It pretty much happened. I, they, well, the girls end up following her there and they walk in. 

Craig: Yeah. So there, there’s also a moment at the party where Laura approaches Rochelle in a friendly way. And again, we feel sorry for her. You know, Rochelle, I, we, we skipped a part where Rochelle had.

Seen Laura sitting on the floor in the shower crying with her hair falling out, and she says, what did I do to deserve this? And you can tell Rochelle is second guessing. Yeah. What she’s done. But yeah, Sarah walks in on Nancy and Chris and Nancy rages at Chris. You’re just jealous. 

Clip: Jealous. Jealous. You don’t even exist to me.

You don’t even exist. You are nothing. You are shit. You don’t exist. The only way you know how to treat women is by treating them like a horse when you are the whore and that’s gonna stop. Do you understand? You understand what I’m saying?

I’m sorry. He is sorry. Oh, he, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.

Craig: And she floats towards him. You just see the tips of her boots scraping along the carpet, the force of her rage. Forces him out through the window and he falls from the second or third story and is dead. Yeah. And, and, and Sarah feels bad, like she feels responsible for this. Mm-hmm. And in some ways she is.

And she realizes that. So she tries to bind Nancy, she does a binding spell, but it doesn’t work. The girls start tormenting her in her dreams. Like they’re, they’re flying into her room and, and taunting her. And eventually they confront her in the bathroom. And Nancy says, Sarah’s like people are dead. Two, two men are dead.

And Nancy says. Well, they deserved it. These girls have obviously been completely corrupted by their power. Yep. And again, like I said, that’s a universal theme and and especially teenagers. Can you imagine having that kind of power as a teenager? 

Todd: Oh God. It’s like that Twilight Zone episode of the little kid.

Yeah. Who can make things happen with his brain. Yeah. Mm. 

Craig: Who cares about consequence? You’re getting what you want. And they threaten her. And Nancy says, you know, in the old days if a witch betrayed her coven, they would kill her. And then she just walks away and it’s like, bye. So Sarah goes to the shop lady for help, and the shop lady takes her to this mysterious back room and says, right, listen.

Which is bigger than the shop itself. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: And it’s all 

Todd: mystical and flowy and. It solved a question for me though, because every time we pop into one of these shops and there are a million candles lit, I’m like, I just picture myself, does this shop owner come in and individually light each and every one of these candles every day and just leave them going?

But then there’s a moment in this movie where she lights one candle and all the rest of ’em come up, and I’m like, oh. So that’s how that 

Craig: works. Convenience. She tells her that she’s a natural witch and that she needs to invoke the spirit, and Sarah’s like, I can’t. She’s like, yes, you can. But Nancy interrupts this by making it seem like the first part of the, the front half of the shop explodes.

And the effects I think, are pretty good in most places. Yeah, in most places there’s part, the part where she does the glamor, where she changes her hair color. There’s something off about that. It’s very. Nineties morphing technology. Yeah. Other than that, it looks pretty good. She runs home and nobody’s there, and Nancy calls and says, turn on the tv, and a plane has crashed.

And she’s like, yeah, your parents were on that plane. And then the whole house is filled with snakes, spiders, lizards, and bugs. Now, Sarah had said earlier that when she was a kid, she used to have these nightmares or hallucinations where she was surrounded by snakes or something. Right. And Nancy had overheard, but they didn’t make anything of it at the time.

But now Nancy’s using this against her. So there’s a whole scene of her running around, you know, with snakes all over her and bugs and rats and all kinds of stuff. But ultimately, Nancy. Pops in and says, gotcha. And it, it was all just a glamor. It all disappears. 

Clip: Right. 

Craig: But she says, if I were as pathetic as you, I would’ve killed myself ages ago.

You should get on with it. And Sarah, you know, goes downstairs and the whole coven is there, and they tell her this is the end. You know, you killed Chris, and now you have to die. And they all float right up in the air. They’re full on powers. Yeah. Right. And they start chanting, now is the end. Let her go in peace.

And they throw down a suicide note in her handwriting that just says, I killed Chris, I’m sorry, with her signature. And Nancy slashes her Sarah’s wrists. And Sarah says it. Sarah says, it’s not real. And Nancy says, then why are you still bleeding? Like she really did cut her wrist. 

Clip: Yeah. 

Craig: So Sarah runs up to her room where she pleads for help.

Starts invoking the spirit, but she’s alm, she’s about to die. She’s bleeding out, she’s about to die. When either she sees or it actually happens that the picture of her mother animates. Mm-hmm. And the voice of her mother says, reach inside yourself. And she does. She starts chanting again downstairs. The girls are just waiting and Nancy’s like, go check and see what’s going on.

So Rochelle and Bonnie go up there, but. Sarah is still kind of recuperating. She casts a glamor to make them see themselves in the mirror. Hideous, Rochelle is, her hair is all falling out and Bonnie’s whole face is covered in those burn scars. And when they see that, Bonnie says, not again, and grabs Rochelle, and they just get the fuck outta there.

They just leave. They’re the smart ones, 

Todd: right?

Craig: Okay. So Sarah’s scars heel up and Nancy, after the other girls run out, she’s like, where are you going? And you can tell that she’s. A little nervous. So she goes up and she’s like, Sarah, what’s going on? And there’s a great mirror effect where through a BA has her back to the mirror. And so we’re seeing her back and the reflection, but then it changes and Sarah turns around and steps out of the mirror and grabs her and scares her.

Yeah. Sarah’s got full on powers at this point. Yeah. She can like app operate and move around and do some stuff. Yeah. She can do all kinds stuff and all kinds of stuff. She says to Nancy, yeah, I talked to Manon and he told me to tell you that you’re in deep shit. And so then she does a, she, she makes bugs crawl all over Nancy and, and turns Nancy’s finger and hair into snakes, which freaks Nancy out and she falls over on her back and then Sarah lets it all disappear.

And she says, relax. It’s only magic now who’s pathetic. And Nancy is like. I’m, I’m really sorry. Um, it just all went too far and like it’s obviously fake and Sarah obviously knows that and Sarah starts that binding spell again. Like, I bind you, Nancy, I bind you from causing harm to yourself or, or to others and to yourself.

And Nancy keeps saying, wait, wait, wait. And eventually she pulls out from where, I don’t know, a huge dagger and holds it way above her head and screams and, and attacks Sarah. And they fight like in the air Yeah. Against the wall. And papers are flying everywhere. It’s pretty awesome. And, you know, it’s easy to figure out how this was done.

The, the set had to have been rotated 90 degrees. Yeah. So where it looks like they’re up against the wall floating in the air, I’m sure they’re just lying on the floor and, you know, things are flying at them through the doorway behind them. You know, things were just being dumped on them. But it looks great.

And they fight, and it ends with a giant dresser like flying towards them. And Nancy gets outta the way right at the last second and it smashes Sarah into the wall. But when Nancy moves the dresser away, it’s just Sarah’s clothes there. Nancy goes to stab the clothes, but Sarah like comes back outta the floor, back into her clothes and kicks Nancy against the wall.

Like a Across the room? Yeah. Into a mirror. And Nancy’s, uh, out and, and, and she continues to bind her. 

Clip: Yeah. 

Craig: Cut to the next, I guess, or a new sunny day. I think that Sarah and her parents are moving again. It looks like maybe. I don’t know. Who cares? It doesn’t matter. The Bonnie and Rochelle come to visit Sarah and they’re trying to be all nice, and they’re like, you know, we’re sorry for her.

And she’s like, trying to kill me. And they’re like, yeah, and, and they’re like, we were just wondering if you still had any powers. ’cause we don’t. And she’s like, Hmm, no, I don’t know, whatever. And she’s like, well, they’re like, if you ever wanna, you know, just hang out or call the coroners or whatever, just let us know.

And she’s like, yeah, hold your breath until I call. And they turn around and one of them’s like, she probably doesn’t have any powers anyway. And Sarah turns around like. Fire starter or something. The wind blows in her hair and she’s got this intense look on her face. And clouds roll in and lightning strikes a branch right above Bonnie and Rochelle and falls and all those lands on them.

And Sarah says, be careful. You wouldn’t want to end up like Nancy. And then it cuts to Nancy strapped to a gurney in an institution. She’s got scratches all over her face. And she is out of her mind. Yes. And she’s like, uh, I can fly. I can fly, I fly, can fly. I’m flying. And she’s like, he gave me the power.

And the nurse says, he gave you something baby, but it wasn’t the power. And, and the end is just her alone writhing on this bed. Insane saying, I, I can fly. I’m flying, I’m flying. But even in this moment. I felt bad for her. Yeah, me too. I really did. She came from a bad life. She was given some power and autonomy and she took it way too far, but she, I don’t think she was a bad person.

Clip: Yeah. 

Craig: And I’m, I’m sad that this is how she ended up, I mean, she did try to kill her friend, right? Yeah. I mean, I mean, I, I’m, I’m not, yeah. I’m not justifying or, you know, no. Yeah. The things that she did. But you’re right. It is 

Todd: sad. She’s a teenager. Right. You know, she’s a teenager and this is. I always feel bad about, you know, when teenagers do life altering things in teenager movies.

’cause Well, I mean that’s, I guess that’s what’s happens in real life too. Sure. But you, you just know they’re just not, they’re just not there yet. They’re not adults, you know, they can’t, you, you want every teenager to have a second and a third chance to get older and to mature a bit, you know? Have the right mind.

Craig: Well, and I mean, you know, she’s not dead, so we don’t know what happens after this. 

Todd: Maybe she’ll become sane again, but it seems like maybe she still has Manan in her. Who knows. 

Craig: Maybe, but I mean, so does Sarah. For all we know. I don’t know. And I, 

Todd: I don’t know. I didn’t think Sarah had Manan in her. I felt like Sarah was just channeling her inner power that her mother, but I 

Craig: don’t think Manan is either good or bad.

Todd: Good or bad. 

Craig: You’re right, 

Todd: you’re right. That was established 

Craig: and, and there is a sequel that came out, I don’t know, within the last five years, and I only recently saw it, and I went in expecting it to be bad. I, I was excited to see it, but I was like, I’m gonna have zero expectations. I’m sure it’s gonna be bad.

I’m just gonna try to enjoy it for what it is. Uhhuh, it wasn’t bad. It wasn’t bad. Really. No, it wasn’t bad. I actually liked it quite a bit. It’s not as good as this movie, and it’s a lot more woke than this movie. Like, oh, okay. The feminism and there’s, there’s a lot of L-G-B-T-Q stuff in it, and it’s a little more on the nose with its messaging about those things.

Mm-hmm. But I think that’s par for the course these days. I, but I actually did enjoy it. And so if, if you are a fan of this movie. It’s not as good. It is not as good as this movie, but it’s not bad. I had a good time with it. Oh, well that’s interesting. 

Todd: I I would’ve assumed it was bad. Yeah, me too. Because they were trying to make a sequel for a while.

I think they were gonna do like a direct video something, and it just never felt, never came together. Yeah. With Nancy Uhhuh. Yeah. I, uh, I love this movie. I thought it was great. It was just really nice and fun and I mean, I can’t really find fault with it, honestly, at all. It just a solid, solid performances, solid movie.

There’s nothing super fancy about the cinematography or anything like that. In fact, it is shot just like all these nineties movies were, you know, with perfect lighting in every scene. And it did take me back, you know, you’re right. The soundtrack, the music, it really worked, it really took me back as well, just to that scream era that set off all of these.

It’s, it’s kind of funny how these movies kind of came around at the same time and scream really set off this whole slasher self-aware bit. And this movie, although it was critically not. I think the reviews were kind of mixed. Roger Ebert was, I don’t know what Roger Ebert’s problem is sometimes, you know how much I love him.

Mm-hmm. But he gave this movie two stars and he was just kind of cynically critical about it. Like, it should have been like this instead of like this. And I thought that felt a little unfair. People loved it. I mean, I think it may, it grossed 55 million on a $15 million budget. It was a success. 

Craig: Yeah. 

Todd: Just 

Craig: a couple years later, charmed totally ripped it off.

Like Charmed is such a huge ripoff to the point that the theme song for Charmed is one of the prominent songs, the same version, the same cover of one of the prominent songs from this movie. Oh my God. It’s such an obvious, yeah. And, and I’m sure you read too, like the, the guy who wrote this or, or the director one or the other, shopped a, a script around for a series of the craft.

Mm. And, and one of the places that he shopped, it was wherever. That show Charmed got produced wherever. Yeah, wherever it got produced. Robin t said it was such a blatant ripoff that for years and years people would approach her and say how much they loved her and charmed. Oh God. Well, I’m glad that we finally got around to doing it because honestly, it’s among my favorite movies Scream.

Obviously did much better and and sparked an entire franchise that is still running strong. If I were put in a room and forced to choose between the two, I think I would pick this one. Mm. I think I just enjoy it more and, and maybe I just feel that way today because it’s so fresh in my mind. I like Scream two and Scream is funnier.

Clip: Yeah. 

Craig: Well, 

Todd: Scream’s got a gimmick. It’s kind of this meta horror movie. It’s, and it’s a slasher with a mystery, you know, it’s a very different kind of film. This is a straightforward story that’s told well, so, uh, they’re different movies, but they have a lot of the same aesthetic to them, the same actors, very late nineties.

Well, I enjoyed it and thank you Craig, for bringing it up to kick off our Halloween season. As always, we have more Halloween type movies coming for you these next few weeks. We hope you guys are getting ready. The best way, you know how I know I, I’m in the States right now. I visited Spirit Halloween just yesterday.

Nice. And that’s always a fun little ritual for me. It blows me away, especially because I could be gone for, for, you know, I’m overseas obviously, most of my life these days, and then I come back to the States and it feels like I’ve, I’ve missed out on a few things and, uh, I’m always amazed at how. After a couple years, it seems like Spirit Halloween has more and more complex animatronics that you can buy for like hundreds of dollars.

Oh yeah. They’re just sitting out there and I just love activating every single one of them and seeing what happens. It’s, it’s really pretty nuts. I miss having a house with a yard. In a garage where I can just do things up and scare, trick, or treaters. Uh, so I hope you guys are getting ready for that in the best way you can.

How about you, Craig? Are you doing anything for Halloween this year? 

Craig: I have been so busy with work that I haven’t had a second to think about it, but, uh, I’m, I’m excited. For the month I’ve been watch, I have been watching some new horror movies, so that’s been fun. Well, we’ve got 

Todd: a lot planned for you. Uh, if you, uh, subscribe to our Patreon, you’ll get a little bit more.

We’re gonna throw up some additional content there this month, some Halloween oriented stuff. All you need to do is go to patreon.com/chainsaw podcast for just five bucks a month. You get access to that, you get access to Mini sos. We post unedited versions of this phone call with a little bit more personal stories with us, and the beginning and the end and all the stuff that I cut out that just is, is too hot for Prod Top.

You can also go to our website and, uh, stream all of our entire back catalog. That’s chainsaw hor.com. Leave us a message there and we will play it back on air. You just click talk to us and you can record a quick message. And we love hearing from you guys. We got a couple of those coming up this month as well.

Until next time, I am Todd. And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.

In this episode of Two Guys in a Chainsaw, we revisit the 1985 anthology film ‘Cat’s Eye,’ written by Stephen King.

We delve into its three stories—two adapted from King’s ‘Night Shift’ collection and one original story featuring Drew Barrymore. We’ll tackle our memories of the film from childhood, the impressive acting, and the memorable third segment. We also touch on the film’s music by Alan Silvestri and the direction of Louis Teague.

If you’re a fan of anthologies, Stephen King adaptations, or classic horror, this episode is for you. Join the conversation and share your thoughts!

Episode 459, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw Horror Movie Review Podcast

Todd: Hello and welcome to another episode of Two Guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: And I’m Craig.

Todd: This week we decided to dip back into anthology territory. We haven’t done a good anthology in a while, I think since we did the month of anthologies a while back. Right. 

Craig: I don’t know. But when you suggested this movie ISI would’ve put a hundred dollars down that we had already done it.

Oh, yeah. I, I thought for sure we had already done it. 

Todd: I had thought about it. I, I’m surprised we haven’t, it, it comes to my mind every time we talk about doing anthologies. ’cause this is an anthology. I remember very distinctly watching as a young kid. And, uh, what we’re talking about is Kat’s Eye from 1985 with a screenplay written by Stephen King.

It’s an anthology of three stories. The first two stories are based on actual stories from his night shift collection, which by the way. I wore out. I loved that book. I had a paperback of that. Oh, it’s so good. And I, I probably read every story in there three or four times. I loved it. Yeah. And a and a, a third original one, uh, that was written specifically for this movie, and specifically I believe, to feature Drew Barrymore, so, mm-hmm.

Yeah, I had great memories from watching this. It was fun to watch it again because all these things kind of came back to me. They made deep impressions on me as a kid, you know, just imagery here and, and thematic material there. But I think it was Stephen King’s first PG 13 rated movie, and so, mm-hmm. I guess it makes sense.

I could have watched as a kid, there’s nothing in here that’s really so. Terrible that I shouldn’t have seen. I think I was pretty young. 

Craig: No. Yeah. How about you? Yeah, it’s pretty tame me. I don’t remember. I mean, I think I must have seen this when I was a kid, but, and I’ll probably repeat this several times throughout the episode.

I remember the third story so well. Yeah. And the other two stories. Not so much. I mean, when I, when I was looking at it and when I was looking it up and researching it and when I started watching it and stuff, I’m like, oh yes, I remember these and I remember exactly what happens. Mm. But they’re not particularly memorable to me.

Right. Like they’re fine, whatever. But the third one, so memorable, I just absolutely loved when I was a kid and I would get so excited I, this isn’t one that we had on VHS, so if I would happen to catch it on. Cable or whatever. I would be so excited. ’cause I loved it. I loved the one so much. 

Todd: I think that’s third one’s the best.

They really kind of, I can’t say they really ramp up. I can just say that the third one’s the best for me. 

Craig: It’s the best for the movie. I don’t remember reading the first story. I don’t think. No, I did. I read them both. Quitters Inc. And The Ledge. I read them both several times ’cause they were in that. I feel like both of those, they’re fine and the actors in them are good in this and we’ll of course get more specific about that in a second.

They’re fine. I just felt like those stories were better on the page, like Right. They were, I don’t know. For some reason they were more suspenseful and, and because there’s not a lot going on. Yeah. You know, it’s not a lot to see and look at. Yeah. I liked them better on the page. They’re fine here. 

Todd: The movie, meh.

The movie has to do a lot to stretch out visuals. You know, I especially think of Quitters Inc. Because there’s that whole sequence where he’s kind of going crazy where he is seeing cigarette stuff everywhere and he’s kind of having these visions at this party and like that I don’t think really was. On the page.

I think that that was almost fabricated specifically to give us something visual to see for the movie. Yeah. This is directed by Louis Teague. Uh, Louis Teague had just directed Cujo a couple years before this. Mm-hmm. And then this same year that Cat’s Eye came out, also the jewel of the Nile. Did you ever watch that?

God, we’d love that as kids. I 

Craig: loved that movie when I was a kid, and it’s not easy to find these days. Well, I, I haven’t, I haven’t given in and paid for it yet, so I haven’t seen it in a long time. But yeah, we loved it. I loved it when I was a kid too. 

Todd: We watched that all the time and, and that song, that Billy Ocean song when the Go and Gets Tough.

Yeah, it’s a great song. God, we sang that all the time, yo, but. If you go back and watch it. Seriously, not good Romance. Romancing the stone still holds up. You know the one before it, but Jewel, the Nile? No, not good. And we did another one. So we did Cujo also by this director. We did alligator too. He directed Alligator in 1980.

Craig: Oh, I liked alligator. That was a lot of fun. Yeah. 

Todd: So great director, and then Stephen King wrote the entire screenplay for this. This might be one of his better written by Stephen King movies. I would say. 

Craig: It’s good. I like it. Mm-hmm. 

Todd: It’s tons of stars in here. Oh my god. Yeah. Big. Everyone’s a star. And Alan Sylvestri did the music for it.

And it’s all kind of Cynthia and I actually wasn’t blown away by the music, to be honest, but Alan Sylvestri himself is a very distinguished, he’s a, I mean, back to the future he Back to the 

Craig: future. Yeah. Oh, oh God. The 

Todd: witches like a million things, like every movie you’ve ever loved. Pretty much from this era on.

He did the music for, there’s so many, so many things. 

Craig: Yeah. I didn’t, I didn’t love the synth score either, but I thought that it was fitting, like Yeah, for for the time and for the feel of the movie. I thought that it was. Fitting it, it, you know, it, it’s no Back to the Future. But no, it’s, I mean, it’s pretty prominently featured.

Like it’s, especially towards the end of each story. It’s pretty prominently featured to like, tell you like, this is the end. Right?

Oh, man, I didn’t, I didn’t hate it, but. It, it is very synthy and, uh, whatever. It’s a thing. It’s a bit on the 

Todd: nose. It’s a bit on the nose, you know, I don’t know what to say. It calls, yeah, it calls attention to itself, which a score really probably shouldn’t do too often. 

Craig: As, as far, as far as the plot is concerned.

I thought of you immediately when it started, because it starts. By following this beautiful cat, and I know that you’re a cat person, Uhhuh. I love cats. And I was, I was like, oh my God. That is a gorgeous cat. It is though, isn’t it? 

Todd: It is 

Craig: a, 

Todd: it is. It is a beautiful cat. It’s not only a gorgeous cat. This is a well trained cat.

It’s, he’s a good actor. Oh my God. I, I have to imagine. That the, the most difficult part of this whole movie was getting all these amazing cat shots. This cat is fantastic. It, it’s running around, it’s going in places, it’s jumping over things. It’s acting, I mean, whatever they did to, I, I was hoping and praying that there would be something in the trivia that would tell me more about this damn cat.

Mm-hmm. And or his handler. Or her handler and nothing. Nothing at all. 

Craig: Well, I, I’m sure you read the thing about how they did the shocking scene, which Yeah. Which is disturbing. But that’s the only thing that I read about it too. But it is a beautiful cat, and I was, I’m, I’m just reminded because Alan and I used to have cats, and we loved our cats and it was great because we were in college and we lived in apartments.

We didn’t have a lot of space. Loved them, loved them, loved them. And then we switched to dogs and we’ve been dog people ever since. I love cats. I think they’re amazing. I think they’re super smart. They are super independent and can pretty much take care of themselves. I just can’t handle litter boxes. Oh, okay.

Gotcha. I hate them. I hate litter boxes. Disgusting. Well, and then, and you can’t, and you can’t have cats and dogs because dogs love litter boxes and they’ll, it’s like a Chinese buffet for them. Oh. Like, they’re super excited. Don’t tell me that. Ah, I know it’s gross. And I know you can, you can cut that. You can cut that.

Todd: No, 

Craig: we’re gonna keep 

Todd: it. 

Craig: I think this is the second time you brought that up. Actually. We’re gonna keep it in both 

Todd: circumstances. 

Craig: So gross. But I love cats. They’re gorgeous. But this movie, the through line is this cat and I don’t remember where it starts. I wanna say New York. It, it travels all over New England.

Oh God. This movie, this cat gets around. Yeah, it gets around the opening scene, like it’s just running around and, and the camera’s following it and like it gets chased by Cujo. It 

Todd: does 

Craig: almost hit by Christine. I mean, yeah, like the car from Christine with a bumper sticker that literally says something like, watch out for me.

I am evil. I’m Christine. Like, I know why. Come on. I dunno. I like it. I should just slip that joke in without the 

Todd: bumper sticker calling it out. Ugh. 

Craig: God. Oh, I think it’s so, I love them. It’s cheesy and there are, so there are tons of these little nods to Stephen King at, at some point somebody’s watching the movie The Dead Zone.

At some point somebody’s reading. Pet. Cemetery. Cemetery. Like I think it’s funny. It’s funny. I liked it. I thought it 

Todd: was funny. I just thought, come on, give us some credit. Will you On the bumper sticker? 

Craig: True. Yeah. It was a little much. 

Todd: Well, the cat runs around and goes all over the place, gets chased by Cujo, almost hit by Christine.

Then it jumps onto a truck that is shipping tobacco somewhere, and then when it jumps out, it’s in the middle of New York City. And so it kind of goes from the suburbs to New York City, I’d say. Yeah, and I read that. There was originally some scenes that explained the motivations of the cat. 

Clip: I 

Todd: know I read that too, and I can’t imagine like, what, 

Clip: how would that have been?

How are you gonna get 

Craig: like, oh, are we gonna get like the cat’s backstory? Like, I don’t get it. I think it was wise to leave it out and I also didn’t think like. It was so obvious to me that the cat was just the through line. Yeah. And that it was, and that it was going somewhere because after it gets off that truck, a mannequin.

That has Drew Barrymore’s face, 

Todd: ghost Drew Barrymore. 

Clip: Help me.

You gotta find it after me. 

Craig: And, and, and Drew Barrymore just keeps popping up. Like, it’s so weird everywhere in this movie, but it’s so weird. I didn’t find it odd at all. I actually, oh. It’s fine, but with these kind of anthology movies, sometimes there’s no through line at all. Mm. Sometimes it’s just, well, now we’re moving from this story to this story, like creep show or whatever.

Yeah, you’re right. I, I kinda, I kinda like that there’s a. Through line in this, 

Todd: uh, there, yeah, the better ones definitely have through lines. Of course creep show, the through line is kind of, its pages of a comic book. It’s really simple, but there is kind of a through line. There’s a, there’s a framing story.

I like that this has the cat as the through line, but it’s funny that the through line is not just the cat, it’s also Drew Barrymore. 

Craig: I know it’s weird. 

Todd: Like the cat just looks, how 

Craig: does this ghost, right. Who is Drew Barrymore and why is she every girl and she’s calling to him like, first of all, she’s multiple characters throughout.

Yes. The movie. And when we finally get to her, it’s not like she’s been psychically calling to this cat. Like she doesn’t know anything about it either. Yeah. It’s just the essence of Drew Barrymore needs to get this cat. To a particular Drew Barrymore to take care of her. 

Todd: She was cast because the director really liked her in Firestarter, which was just a year before this.

Craig: I’ve never seen Firestarter Have you? 

Todd: I have. I saw it when I was a kid. It really freaked me out and then I read the book and it was good. I was okay. I haven’t read it either. It’s fine. It’s a pretty simple book for Stephen King book. It freaked me out as a kid because it’s basically these, uh, this kid and her father, I think, who both have the psychic power that they can start fires and the government’s pursuing them and they’ve gotta, you know.

Get away from that. Yeah, 

Craig: yeah, I get it. She’s a fire starter. I get it. I am the fire starter. Stop.

Yeah. Okay. Alright. So the mannequin talks to the cat and it’s like, help me. Okay. And then we get the first story and it’s James Wood and he’s going to like a smoking cessation. Facility, like he wants to stop smoking or whatever. Yeah. Quitters Inc. Is it wood or woods? I can’t remember. Woods. James Woods?

Yeah. Mm-hmm. My sister moved to LA right out of college and she was auditioning for shows and stuff and he had a show and she auditioned for his show and I had always heard that he was a dirtbag and like he just seems like a dirt bag. Oh yeah. But she said that she. Auditioned for him, and in fact, he is a dirt actor.

Oh, really? What you’re gonna say? Yeah. He’s actually really nice. Oh man. No, no, no. He’s actually not like, you know, my sister, she’s like five. Seven or something. Yeah, she’s a little tiny person and she’s like, James Woods was only interested in like the tall, skinny blondes with big boobs and those were like the only people that he would see.

However, she said that his co-star, I don’t even know what the show was, but I’m pretty sure his co-star was Andy Richter and she said he was lovely. Of course I wouldn’t expect anything less from Andy Richter. Uh, but anyway, so he goes to this, uh, smoking cessation place and the guy who. Is, I don’t know the boss there.

I don’t know anything about this guy. I looked up his name. His name is Alan King. Mm-hmm. And I really don’t know anything about him except for that I a hundred percent know who he is. Like I’ve seen him in a bazillion things. Mm-hmm. And he’s kind of a, not old Hollywood, but older Hollywood than us, but he was, yeah.

I feel like he was 

Todd: in everything for a minute. He really was. He always played a heavy, he often played kind of a heavy guy, sometimes a father, that type of thing. I think more or less after this, like he was in bonfire the vanities and God. Yeah. Now that I’m looking rush hour two, it’s funny. That now. Now I know because you just recognize it.

Look at it doesn’t look like 

Craig: he 

Todd: was in that much that I would recognize. But God, 

Craig: he’s got an amazing, a great voice, a very recognizable voice. I, I guarantee if you watch this movie, you’ll see this guy and he’ll be like, oh yeah, that guy, that guy, yeah. I definitely see him, you know, know this guy. Anyway, so he shows James Woods this like.

Room behind glass that’s like just a metal, great floor. And the cat is in there. 

Todd: Mm-hmm. They picked up the cat from the street. Yeah. 

Craig: Some goon picked, picked up the cat. Right. Whatever. And they start playing. And I skipped something. He, when he was in the lobby, there was some guy in the lobby and he was super, super nervous.

And then his wife came out and the wife looked like she was in bad shape. Not good. Mm-hmm. So now he sees this room and the cat and they start playing twist and shout or something, I don’t know. And then they start shocking the cat. Like the floor is electrified. Yeah. Like they’re shocking the cat. And he says, well, the, the song is part of the conditioning.

Okay. Whatever. I don’t care. 

Todd: Yeah. 

Craig: But basically he tells, what I don’t understand about this is apparently that just by walking into the building, you have contracted yourself to this. I know. Yeah. When he, when he finds out this guy’s like, well, the first time operatives will be watching you all the time.

All the time. Yeah. It’s about, 

Todd: it’s about quitting smoking. 

Craig: Yeah. Yeah. And, and you won’t, you sometimes you’ll know they’re there, sometimes you won’t. They’re gonna be watching you all the time, and the first time you get caught, we put your wife in the electric shock room. Mm-hmm. The second time you get shot or get caught.

We put your daughter and, and, and they know where her school is. They know everything about him. Yeah. We put your daughter in the electric shock room. Third time your wife gets raped. Yeah. What? Wow. Excuse me. Ah, and he hasn’t agreed to anything like he, he was. A friend of his referred him to this place. He walks into the office, sat in the waiting room, and then got pulled into this office and this guy just starts telling him all this stuff.

Did he even pay? You 

Todd: know,

oh my God. It’s crazy. I don’t get it. It was so much better on the page, I’m sure, because I read this and the, the, the story just made me sick. Well, he then comes home and he’s freaked out. And I guess, you know, like, I don’t know, wouldn’t you like just call the cops or something at this point? But, uh, he sneaks downstairs, eventually wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to get a smoke.

He sneaks downstairs into his office, which is a room with the windows open. The blinds are wide open while he digs through his drawers and finds an an almost empty pack with one cigarette left in it when he pulls it out and gets ready to light it. The closet door in there kind of opens a little bit.

So then he goes over and he grabs an umbrella to pro to push it open. And then when he opens the second door, his golf clubs all fall out. So then he tosses the umbrella back into the closet and hears a oof from somebody. Now he looks in and sees ghees, which are surely not his. They’re wet sticking out from under the clothes.

They’re wet. And what does, he can see that they’re wet. What does he do? He’s just like. I didn’t smoke it. Notice I didn’t light it. Tears it up and walks out of the fucking room. What? I don’t know. I thought that part was scary. Oh, it was scary. But he leaves and goes back up to bed. What you think? There’s a guy in your closet, it’s pretty clear.

There’s a guy in your closet. You’re just gonna accept that and go to bed then. But 

Craig: then he goes and yells at the guy, like he goes back to the place and yells at the boss. Man’s like, there was somebody in my house. And he is like, yeah, well. It could happen. They do. They, they do their job. 

Todd: He doesn’t, he doesn’t really check the closet until the next day when the glosses are not there.

But then he sees dirt, you know, footprints coming out of it. I’m like, oh my God. So that was weird. I, I didn’t like that bit just ’cause I thought it was so dumb. 

Craig: My thinking was, yeah, there’s somebody in there and he knows that now, but he also knows who it is and so he doesn’t care. Well, it’s not that he doesn’t care, but like he’s so freaked out, like he 

Todd: thinks they’ll shoot him or something.

Craig: They’re not necessarily here to hurt me. They’re just watching. Right. I think he’s afraid of getting in trouble, like he doesn’t wanna get in trouble. Gotcha. Anyway, whatever. It doesn’t matter. Who cares? That’s fine. So then the next day he goes, I was a little confused about this. Mm-hmm. He goes and visits his daughter.

Drew Barrymore in a terrible wig and glasses and he gives her a legit cabbage patch kid. Love that. That was, that was big back then. That was big. 

Todd: I had 

Craig: one. Did you have 

Todd: one? Oh, I had one, yeah, for sure. Mine was a, um, was a ringmaster, a circus ringmaster. He had boots. He had a snazzy vest and outfit. He had a top hat.

He was badass. I might still have him. So I think I do. I think I do. 

Craig: Mine was. Before they started specifically making like the infant, like baby ones when they were still Cabbage Patch kids. Uhhuh. Mine was baldheaded except for a little tiny tuft of blonde hair at the top. They came with names. Oh yeah.

Birth certificates. Yeah. I don’t remember if. My Cabbage Patch kid came with its name. I mean, I know it came with name, but I remember that its name was Robby Lee. 

Clip: Okay. 

Craig: I don’t know if that’s the name that was on his birth certificate or if I made that up, but that was my little almost baldheaded. Oh my goodness.

Name 

Todd: Robbie. 

Craig: Lee, 

Todd: my Cabbage patch kid came from Babyland General Hospital down in Georgia. 

Craig: Oh gosh. That’s great. I love it. Do you 

Todd: know about this place? I think it still exists. No, it’s this, it’s this like house that you can go to and inside it’s a, it’s a hospital for Cabbage Patch kids. It’s where they’re born.

There is a cabbage patch inside here and you can gather around and witness them birthing cabbage patches. Gosh out. Oh my gosh. These cabbage patches, cabbages. Oh my God. That was a trip. I remember that. That’s where I got my ringmaster because they had a giant circus, kind of like an automated, like where they had put all the Cabbage Patch kids in, but then they could, like they were trapeze and there were things, and then they would all move and stuff in the middle.

And I was entranced by that. That was a whole thing. 

Craig: Yeah, I’m pretty sure mine 

Todd: came 

Craig: from Santa. Um, so anyway, so then, so he visits Drew Barrymore at her school and. That’s weird. Like, and I couldn’t tell what was going on with that. Like I almost felt like they were kind of telling Drew Berry more to maybe kind of play it kind of slow.

Yeah. Like why I didn’t understand what was happening. And it doesn’t appear that their child lives with them. Right, right. I, the only time we ever see her is at school. 

Todd: I guess you’re 

Craig: right. I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. Whatever. And the guy from the smoking place shows up and menas him a little bit.

Yeah. Yeah. And then he gets stuck on a drawbridge. Ju just 

Todd: like the opening to a maximum overdrive. Remember, 

Craig: it’s the same bridge. I read that too. Oh, 

Todd: is it? I didn’t see that 

Craig: part. Yeah, it’s, it’s the, it’s the same bridge that that was filmed on and I Oh, that makes sense. I know. And when I read that, I was like.

Oh yeah, it looks like that bridge. I remember that bridge. Right. Okay. But he’s on a draw bridge. He’s looking around, he’s thinking, surely nobody will see me. One of the cars right next to him is a convertible and this guy is making out with a girl. And I am like, well, obviously that’s one of the, it’s him.

It’s obviously one of the watchers or whatever. 

Todd: You don’t think it’s the two kids completely unbuckled in the back of the station wagon. Front of him doing the pillow fight? No, I didn’t think it was them. There were so many dated things in this movie. It was really cute to watch. Like nobody does that anymore, obviously.

But it was not uncommon for us to ride in the backseat seat. Oh no, not at 

Craig: all. 

Todd: Station wagon without seat belts 

Craig: on. We didn’t wear seat 

Todd: belts. No, 

Craig: nobody wore seat belts back 

Todd: then. We had a seat that flipped up and face backwards. I don’t even think that’s legal anymore, but we had had it installed in our Volvo station wagon.

It was this hard as hell seat that I think was plywood covered with like the thinnest amount of fabric you could get and it would flip up kind of open up, and there were seat belts, but we would be facing backwards. It’s like enough for two small kids to sit next to each other facing whoever was coming up behind you.

Probably the most unsafe thing in the world when you think about it. Somebody rear ends you. Uh, yeah. God. 

Craig: My mom drove a minivan for decades. She’s out of her minivan phase, but she drove a minivan for decades and the first minivan that I remember that she had didn’t have three seats. Instead, it had the second seat that folded down into a full.

Bed and it was amazing when we would go places on vacation and stuff and my, you know, that were long drives, we would just drive through the night because my parents could put that bed down and my sister and I would sleep in the back. Blankets, pillows, I’m telling you, it was a full size bed. And then we’d wake up in the morning and we’d be there.

Oh God. And they wouldn’t have had to have dealt with kids. Yeah, through the whole drive. It was amazing. I loved it. It’s 

Todd: different time 

Craig: anyway. What were we talking about? I don’t know. I think there’s a movie that we watched. He discovers cigarettes in the glove box. Yeah, he just in the glove box and he thinks he’s gonna be real sneaky and he puts shades on.

Oh my gosh. Leans down, smokes and ducks 

Todd: down. It’s so funny actually, because the smoke is clearly coming up in the car and then you just see this arm come up and try to wave it all over. You like 

Craig: wave it away. I’ve been there. I get it. I quit smoking though. I, I mean, I, I switched it for vaping, so I’m not gonna brag too much.

But, um, no, it’s something, it’s definitely something I did. I, I quit smoking smokers out there. If you didn’t think you could do it, I didn’t think I could do it, but I can. And it wasn’t as hard as I thought it was gonna be. In fact, one day I just smoked my last cigarette and that was it. Wow. And then I just started 

Clip: vaping.

Todd: You had to replace it with something, but it’s somehow, that’s a little bit, 

Craig: yeah. I, I don’t have like a cold and a sore throat. All year round anymore. Mm. For the longest time when I smoked cigarettes, I was always sick. I always had a cold, you know, go back and listen to our old episodes. I used to put Todd through the ringer.

Oh. Editing out my coughing. You don’t know how many coughs I had to edit out this guys. Mm-hmm. You can do it. It’s, it’s possible, but it is hard for some people. My dad’s been struggling with it forever. He just, he can’t beat it, but, so he smokes and he gets caught. And they put his wife in the shock room.

Todd: Yep. And then it, it’s interesting because then he goes into the, the room, I guess, to meet her after the shock room. He’s gotta confront her and they watch it on camera, but there’s no sound. And one of his goons is like, uh, 

Clip: hey boss ain’t gonna turn the sound up. There’s no reason to. When you’ve been in a business as long as I have, you get to know every line.

In 30 seconds, she’s either gonna squeeze this guy hard enough to give him a hernia, or she’s gonna slap him in the face and walk out. 

Todd: They make bets on which it’s gonna be, and sure enough, she embraces him. Hard to imagine. But, uh, I don’t know. I think it’s an interesting concept. And like I said, I think it worked a lot better on the page.

Yeah, on the screen, everything seems so extreme that it’s really hard to buy into, but you just go with it really quickly. Now it’s suddenly like they’re all on good terms now. Right. Like he’s been through the program. He’s been off smoking for a while, apparently now he’s with that guy at his goon and they’re in his, off his office.

But it’s like a little medical checkup and he is like, you gotta keep this target weight. And they’re, yeah. And they’re chummy, like, yeah, they’re friendly. Mm-hmm. Like, thank you, thank you for threatening me to help me cut smoking. But then he jokes as he leaves. This is what I remembered so much as a kid.

I don’t remember again if it was from the movie or from the, the, the story, but he jokes with him and he is like, now you gotta keep that target weight up or whatever like that. And then James Woods is like, ah, what are you gonna do? Come home and do something else? He says, no, I’ll just go home and cut your wife’s finger off, whatever.

And then the last scene. Which I thought was great is he’s sitting at the table two couples having that classic eighties dinner party with the linen table claws and the candelabra that they bring out. And, uh, they’re toasting him and his friend who brought him there originally, and their wives are toasting.

Two Quitters Inc. And as the, as his friend’s wife raises her glass, he sees that her pinky finger is indeed cut off. So the idea is that this is probably, he’s never gonna be out of this, right? That he’s always gonna be under the gun and it’s kind of. It’s scary as 

Craig: hell. Yeah. Again, by every account that I’ve heard, James Woods is kind of an asshole, but he’s a good actor.

He is. And I liked him and he’s real young in this. Yeah, I liked that one. And then the cat gets away. Yeah. And takes the ferry to Atlantic City. Oh my God, that is so funny. Or something, I don’t know. And then. It goes, drew Barrymore is in a commercial on television. Again, like, help me. It’s still coming for me.

It’s getting closer. Okay. This story, I do remember reading this story, and I think that this story is excellent. I think that this is an excellent short story. Mm. And it was first published in Penthouse Magazine, which is perfect. Ah, Stephen King did that a lot. I mean, he was a, yeah. Playboy penthouse. Yeah.

He was a young writer. This was his job. He was getting paid. He would get this shit published wherever he could get it published, and it was Playboy and it was penthouse, but. Other more mainstream publications too. Well, and like, I just think this, I think this is a great penthouse story. It’s seedy. Mm-hmm.

I mean, it’s not porny at all. No, no. At all. But it’s set in a world. That is appropriate 

Todd: for Penthouse Magazine? I think, well, I mean, it was an honor. I mean, to have a short story and it’s so quaint now. You can’t who even reads a magazine now? I know, right? But magazines used to be a very big outlet for starting writers to publish their short stories, and Playboy was one of the biggest magazines.

If you had a, if you had a story in Playboy, you were well respected. You know, they’re not just sex stories or anything like that. Like really, they would have actual. Literary short stories in there. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, for sure. Yeah. He made a big, when he did that, it helped him along his way anyway. Right. But yeah, I, I agree.

I like this one too. It’s okay. It’s better. I think. Again, it’s better on the page, but I was just enthralled by the very beginning. What, where they get this cat back in here. Because the cat makes it to Atlantic City, and we follow this guy out of, out of the casino that he owns. He’s your typical mafia boss kind of dude.

He’s a Yeah. Big wig. Mm-hmm. And I, he was clearly making an entrance, right. As an actor. It’s one of those deals where they concealed his face, like we’re just following behind him as he walks out the front door of his very busy casino, and then he spins around to answer someone’s question, and I imagine at the time the entire audience would be go, oh, it’s him.

Mm-hmm. Kenneth. McMillan, who’s been in a million things, and you’d recognize him as well. He was in Dune just before this. He was in Amadeus. He was in, um, a lot on television. Oh yeah. Dog day afternoon, Stepford wives, Serco, taking of Pellum, 1, 2, 3. I really liked the taking of Pellum. 1, 2, 3. And he’s the borough commander in that one.

The original there was a remake, but the original 19 74 1 is fantastic. Right. Anyway, yeah. So he, he makes his entrance and then he and some guy he knows, noticed the cat. Across the street trying to, it stuck. It’s stuck in the median and they make bets as to whether or not the cat will make it across or not.

I loved the sequence and I do not know how they shot this while keeping that cat safe. There was one spot where they were clearly overlays, two shots, but a lot of the rest of it, I don’t know if they just had glass up to keep the cat from moving too far or whatever, but I was scared for that damn cat.

And the cat does end up making it across the street, so the boss guy wins. But not without two cars swerving to avoid him crashing into each other. I wasn’t scared for the cat. Yeah, well you knew the cat was gonna live. That cat knows what’s up.

I loved that bit. And you know it’s funny how like. A lot of these anthology stories, they don’t try to tie their wraparound or framing stories in as well as this one does. That cat is a fixture. Oh yeah, absolutely. In every one of these stories and has his little moment in this one. Before we get onto the story, you know, 

Craig: as we’ve already said, but I want to e.

Size again, this cat is a good actor and like I’m invested in his story. Yeah. No joke, right? Oh God, I am, I, I am with this cat all the way. It, it turns out, it turns out that this big boss man, his girlfriend is having an affair. With the guy from airplane. Yes. Robert Hayes. Yeah. The Mob Mafia type guy. Like confronts the airplane guy.

And what, what, what does he does? He objective does make him an offer. Like, like you can have, you can have her, if. Or something. I don’t know. 

Todd: He sends his girlfriend away because he knows he’s in trouble. He owes money or something like that, or he is stolen money. I’m not quite sure what it was, but as soon as these guys abduct him, just as soon as she’s, he’s set her away, they plant heroin in his car and drive it to a.

Parking garage and he threatens that he’s going to call the police and he’s gonna tell ’em about the heroin and this guy’s gonna be in big trouble. Or he can make a wager. If he wins the wager, he can have the money back. He won’t call the police and he can have his wife. Yeah. And so they go, and the wager is that there’s this just very narrow, you know, five inch ledge that goes around the entire.

Building. They’re up on, I don’t know, the penthouse suite of some very, very, very tall New York skyscraper type thing. And uh, he’s like, you can just walk around the whole thing, then you win. Yeah. 

Craig: And I remember this being really, really good. Like it, it’s a really good story. Hmm. It doesn’t transfer as well?

No. To the screen, I don’t think, because ultimately it just gets boring. Like, yeah. On the page. The tension is so high and I, I don’t remember what the narrative perspective is, but I don’t remember if we’re in this guy’s head, but it’s just very tense here. We’re just watching a guy scoot along a ledge like, yeah.

I get, I 

Todd: get it. A bird packs at him for a while, right? The guy pops out and throws things at him and blasts water at him every now and then. But maybe the only scary I, I don’t know. The only real tense part is when he like gets to this sign that stuck to the side of the building and the sign kind of falls apart and he is dangling from it for a while.

But I don’t know, I just always felt like I knew he was gonna make. Yeah, because what, well, how’s this story gonna end? Do you just plummets off the ledge? That’s, that’s no fun. So I knew he was gonna make it, so I just, I felt like I was just watching him go through the paces here. And you’re right, it’s kind of slow.

Craig: I mean, it’s fine. I mean, things happen visually. It’s good. Like you said, like, like a pigeon. Peck him and he is like, ow, you little pecker. Oh, that’s funny. There’s a pecker joke in the next one too. Mm-hmm. I don’t know. And like, yeah, he has to like climb up an electrical cord and stuff and the cat is there and there’s a shootout.

I don’t remember. Yeah, I, I guess the, a shootout between the, I don’t know, good guys and bad guys or whatever, but it ultimately ends up with him making the mob guy. Do the ledge. Yeah, and I think that’s how the story ended too. Yeah. I think the story may have been a little bit more ambiguous in the end, but for sure he makes the mob guy get out on the ledge and do the walk or whatever.

In the movie, I don’t remember what happens in the book, but in the movie, that same rascally pigeon. Peck’s at the heavy mob guy and he falls off and dies. Yeah, he doesn’t last long. The end. The end. And so then the cat catches a train to Wilmington, North Carolina. Yes. This cat knows how to get around. It gets around God, and this is my favorite one.

And I love it. I love it from start to finish. It’s so good. I love that. As, as soon as the cat arrives, we are introduced to this new family and the way that we’re introduced to them is that we see a, a strange. Point of view shot from what could be a cat? Yeah. Because it’s small and quick and low to the ground, but it’s also making funny noises like Yeah, it’s like evil dead cam going through the, but tiny, yeah, but small because ’cause it’s real close to the ground, it’s really small and it turns out that it’s some kind of troll and apparently.

The essence of Drew Barrymore has been warning the cat, like this thing is coming for me. Apparently now it’s there and it’s founder Uhhuh, but the cat gets there at the same time. Thank God, just in time too. Really Just in 

Todd: time. The girl, Amanda is her name, drew Barrymore, and she’s got these lovely parents.

They have this lovely house in this place and, and, uh, she just, the cat runs up to her and into the house, I think, and she’s like, can we keep it? Can we keep it? And she calls it general, but they insist on putting the cat out every night. And at some point the mom 

Craig: does. Yeah. Her mom’s kind of a bitch.

She’s, she’s a little, she’s not nice to this cat. Well, she’s, she’s just a mom. She’s doing her best. I shouldn’t 

Todd: judge her. Alright. I remember this little conversation between her and her father at breakfast. 

Clip: Your mom just happened to have a conference call with Nana, uh, last evening and Nana told your mom that, um, cats steal kids’ breath.

Why would general take my breath if he has his own? Ah, well, you have to put all the animals outside in the night. I mean, especially the cat animals, because if you don’t, they climb up and sit on your chest and suck all your bread out like this. That is very, very helpful. Hugh, 

Todd: is that a thing or is that just something Stephen King made of 

Craig: it’s, it’s an old wive’s tale.

No. Is it? Okay. I think it’s an old wive’s tale. Mm-hmm. That’s 

Todd: cool. 

Craig: I think people specifically say it about babies like infants. That makes a lot of sense because cats do like to sleep with you and like if a cat were to sleep on a baby’s head. Then that would be bad. That could be problematic, right? I think that’s where it comes from.

Todd: When I was a baby and we were living in Fort Worth, Texas, my parents had a very problematic cat named Tigger and they said there was something wrong with Tigger that like, it was a very neurotic, strange cat. And they came and found Tigger once in my crib, snarling at me, and that’s when they realized Tigger has to go.

Craig: That’s funny. I’ve been exposed 

Todd: to cat on infant violence in my life. Apparently. 

Craig: We’re, we’re telling lots of personal stories 

Todd: this episode. We really are, 

Craig: but the, I, I almost 

Todd: shouldn’t, I almost shouldn’t tell you what happened to Tigger. Oh, well now you have to, both of my parents are nurses. You know that.

Yeah. And my dad decided to play nurse anesthetist himself on Tigger. He put Tigger in his favorite cage with his favorite blanket and all that stuff in the garage behind the exhaust pipe of the car, and put Tigger to sleep himself. Yeah. Well, that’s all right. They knew that they couldn’t give Tigger away to any other family because Tigger was really that problematic.

So they decided to, yeah, my dad, I don’t know how he feels a little guilty about, I don’t know if he feels guilty. We, we’ve, we don’t talk about it much, but I haven’t really probed him on that one and. All these things, what difference does it make? I mean, it doesn’t matter, you know, not that was a 

Craig: humane, it was, it was humane.

It’s fine. He did it in a humane way. Yeah. My, yeah. I think my grandpa, if there were unwanted litters, I mean, he was a farmer and they didn’t, you know. Spay or neuter their animals. So if there was an unwanted litter, he would just like put ’em in a sack and throw ’em in the pond. Oh no. Are you serious? Oh God.

Yeah. But what I was going to say was we never had pets growing up. Because my parents, when my mom was pregnant with me, they had a dog that they loved, I can’t remember what its name was. I think it was like a spaniel, some kind of spaniel. And they loved it so, so much. And literally like the day before or just days before I was born, it got hit by a car.

In front of their house and my dad had to shoot it with a gun to put it out of his misery. Aw. And we never had pets until I was like a teenager. We finally got a cat.

Man, 

Todd: that’s funny. 

Craig: But I always really wanted a pet, just like Drew Barrymore really wants this cat really bad, and she already has a parat. Mm-hmm. But I Did you go on. It’s so funny, like, did you ever have birds? I, I don’t, no. My mom hates birds. My mom, my parents is scared of birds and so we never had them.

Allen had a bird. I wish I could. Remember his name. It’s like Chewy or El Chapo or something. I don’t remember. But he talks about it and he and his mom loved that bird. I think they’re disgusting and I think that’re disgusting to have in your house. But she has one, and the mom doesn’t want to have the bird, or excuse me, the mom doesn’t want ke the cat because she’s afraid that, well, it seems like she just doesn’t like.

No, the cat. The cat, anyway. But she says, you know, it’ll get the bird or whatever. But Drew Barrymore is like, but I’ve been having these bad dreams where a monster comes out of my wall. Mm-hmm. And general will protect me. Yeah. And that’s true. That’s what is happening. There is a monster in her wall.

General finds a way into the house. It’s horrifying. It is horrifying. 

Todd: Yeah. You know, again, as a kid, this was just, just. Really hits you where it hurts, right? You’re always worried about the monsters in your bedroom. Yeah. And this little opening, almost like a little mouse hole, just kind of folds itself back down at the baseboard in this one spot in her room.

And this little troll comes out and it’s green and it’s kind of gremlin like. And it is fantastic. And I love what they’re doing here with this creature. Me too. It’s not stop motion. It’s like a combination of a little puppet, but mostly it’s, it’s the gate. It’s what they did with the gate where you got Yes, yes.

Just this giant sized set and a person in costume, Uhhuh. It’s so good. And, and I love it. The creature was designed by, um, Carlo Aldi, who did, you know, we’ve done, um, a couple Italian movies that he, uh, he did makeup and, and, uh, puppetry and stuff effects for, but then he went on to do et he designed the ET creature.

King Kong. 

Craig: I love. Love. I love it. I love it. It’s familiar. Like I think she says something about, yeah, you know that, you know that story. The three Billy Goats gruff. It’s like that, but it lives in my wall and it is like, it’s kind of familiar as a troll, but it’s also. Unique. Yes, it’s a great 

Todd: design. 

Craig: It’s, it’s fantastic.

It has this kind of flat nose, and I mean, it, it’s got like these razor, these tiny razor sharp teeth, but its mouth articulates in a way that a human mouth doesn’t. Yeah, like it’s it, its lips seem to have multiple points of articulation, like, yeah, I don’t know. It’s really cool. It looks great. The only thing, and this isn’t a criticism because I don’t care, but the only thing is I couldn’t really get a gauge on its size because sometimes it looked like it was the size of a.

Softball. Right. And sometimes it looked a little bit bigger. It is a little unclear. Yeah, it, but I, I didn’t care. It looks great. Like, I loved the stuff where they were clearly filming it on oversized sets. It looks fantastic. 

Todd: So good. 

Craig: I loved the stuff when it was like crawling on Drew Barrymore, and I don’t know how they did that.

And does it look. A hundred percent real. No, but it looks great and looks good enough. Yeah. And it’s scary. Like I said, when I was a kid, this is the one that stuck with me because it was scary. Yeah. And you know, she, she try, she doesn’t really know what’s going on ’cause she’s asleep as she, I guess, kind of remembers it or is dreaming it or whatever.

And she tries to tell her parents and they brush it aside as parents do. Yeah. I mean, it’s a monster in your room, of course, when you’re a kid. I mean, when, I don’t know. I don’t know if I remember it or it’s just, we’ve seen so many of these movies, but like that’s so frustrating when parents just kind of brush, brush it aside, like, yeah, okay, well I guess when you find me dead, then maybe you’ll take me seriously.

Right. Is almost what happens here. It is like, mom, the, the troll kills the bird. Mm-hmm. And the, the cat tries to, I don’t know, stop it, protect the girl. I don’t know. But the cat gets implicated in the death of the bird. Yes. So the mom captures it in a box and takes it to a kill shelter where it is going to be killed the next.

Day. 

Todd: Yeah. That was fast. Right? Jesus. I love that the dad picks up the cat and no, before mom takes it away because mom does this while dad is gone at work. I love it how he picks up the cat and he sees that it has a wound on his shoulder. And he’s like, that’s that’s a pretty big wound on there. And uh, she’s like, oh, well it looks like Polly got one more peck at it.

You know, before it got, and he’s like, I certainly never realized that Polly has such a big pecker. That’s our second pecker joke. Do you think there was a pecker joke in the first one that we missed? 

Craig: I 

Todd: don’t know. Is that another through line for this? I don’t know. 

Craig: I don’t know. But this one made me laugh really hard.

And this dad has played by somebody recognizable too. Oh yeah. Famous. I, I couldn’t figure out, I, I didn’t know him from anything in particular. It was just another one of those guys I’ve seen in many things 

Todd: been everything. Yeah. 

Craig: So, yeah, so the cat is gone, but it’s also very crafty, so it tricks the worker, like, it pretends like it’s really.

Sleepy. And then when the worker opens the door, it bolts out. Mm-hmm. And I believe that because cats are crafty. Oh yeah. That’s one of the things that I like about them. And they’re fast too. Yeah, they are very fast. I love cats. And it, and it escapes and it runs through the rain. And cats hate being wet, so it must really care about this girl.

Mm-hmm. It runs back to her house where the troll. Is making its big play. It has put a door stop in the door and it gets up on her chest and it starts sucking out her breath and she’s like coughing and and stuff. And then. The cat shows up and it and the troll have a big fight. Oh man, this fight 

Todd: is awesome.

It’s all over the room. It’s with everything I know. So good marbles and toys. Oh my God. And roller skates being thrown and somehow the, a big dictionary falls down in front of his hole so he can’t get back away and, yep. He ends up on the record player? 

Craig: No, before that he try, he tries to float away on some helium balloons.

Yes. And he’s like, he’s like bobbing up and down on the helium balloons. And it was so funny, like they’re showing the cat like swatting at this thing, dangling from helium balloons and it’s just obviously some inanimate thing and the cat swats it and just starts spinning, spinning, spinning. So then they cut to.

A shot of the troll and it’s like the troll is just spinning, spinning and it’s like, ah.

Oh, it’s so funny. Yeah. But yeah, you’re right. It lands on the record player, which plays. The police is, I’ll be watching you or whatever. Yeah. Which is the second time we’ve heard it. But it’s funny. And Drew Barrymore is shouting from her bed. 

Clip: Play it faster. Play it faster. 

Todd: And the cat is dutifully flipping.

Rrp upping the RPMs. Oh. Like he knows. 

Craig: This is so funny. Oh, it’s hilarious. Like young people today, anybody. Any younger than us, I feel like. Did you have a record player? I did. I had one. Oh, 

Todd: yeah. Yeah, we did. I had my own record player. We had a family record player. We could stack multiple records up on it and they’d come down automatically.

Uhhuh. Oh yeah. I had one in my room. I would just play all the time, 

Craig: I think. Oh. Oh. Well, my dad had like a nice. Stereo. I had a Fisher-Price record player. Yeah. But it worked. Mine was, mine was like a Fisher-Price 

Todd: one. Yeah. It was like a, you know, it was mostly plastic, I think. But it worked. You play records on it.

Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah. I, I feel like we are the last kinda are generation that experienced that and, and to know, as I recall, mine only had two speeds. Mm-hmm. There was. A faster RPM and a slower RPM? Yeah, the 45 and the 35 I think. Yeah, right. This one. This one apparently is just like on a sliding scale and he can turn it up.

So it sounds like Alvin and the Chipmunks on speed. And he does. And. You see the little troll like holding onto the the little knob central post and the thing and it’s going, ah,

I love it’s little noises. It’s cute. You’ve gotta put in some kind of clip of it’s little noises ’cause they’re so funny and it shoots off into her box fan. Fan, her box fan. Oh my God. And gets totally obliterated as though this were some kind of like industrial, right? Oh, it just gets, it just gets obliterated and it’s hilarious.

And then the, what I didn’t, I didn’t remember this. And what I find most funny is the parents come in. Yeah. And they think that the cat has done something bad and the girl tells them what really happened, and they look at the fan and it’s all blood and guts and gross stuff, but there’s a little troll arm uhhuh and a little troll dagger, and they pick it up and the mom’s like, okay, you can keep the cat.

Just don’t tell anybody about this. 

Clip: What? What? Such a 

Craig: weird reaction, right? Like no one can know. That we had a little troll in our house. You could keep the cat so long as you don’t tell anybody. 

Todd: It’s almost like she’s blackmailing them now, because now you see the general is like eating a fish, like 

Craig: a Bronzino, really on a silver platter 

Todd: with parsley garnish.

Craig: And then he goes up the last scene, he goes up and the cat jumps up on Drew Barrymore’s chest and gets right up next to her. Almost like, you know, like they thought it was gonna steal her breath, but instead it just. Licks her mouth, which is gross. It just ate a big, raw fish is disgusting. However, I have animals, my dogs lick their butt holes and then they come kiss me on the mouth.

Yeah. And I don’t care. So it’s a cute, I it’s, it’s actually kind of cute. I thought it was a 

Todd: very cute ending, especially since it was established this old wives tale and it turns out that it’s the troll doing it, not the cat. And then the cat licks her instead of taking a breath. It’s so cute. 

Craig: Yeah, it’s very cute.

Todd: And then. Credits and there’s a cat’s eye song. 

Craig: Oh, is there? I didn’t even, you do, listen, all I saw, no, the credits started coming up and they list the actors first, and Drew Barrymore is listed first and just credited as. Our girl, uh, which I thought was cute, but I didn’t pay attention to the song. I didn’t know there was a cat’s eye 

Todd: song.

He should have listened to the chorus. It’s like cat’s eye. You’ve Got a cat’s Eye. Something like that is so, it’s so charmingly eighties and com. Entirely forgettable, but I, I love it what a movie has. Theme song that references the title at the end. Yeah, it’s always good. Me too. I really enjoyed this. I mean, look, I mean I did think that the second one was a little slow.

I thought the first one read better on the page. I think we, we both kind of came to that conclusion. They’re not amazing. A creep show is way better. Both the creep shows are way better. Yeah. But true. The through line of the cat is just so charming and it’s so well done. Yeah. And the third story just like makes up for it all.

And I love, I enjoyed it. I just had a good time with it. Yeah. 

Craig: Yeah, and even in the first two, I don’t think they’re great, but I also don’t think they’re bad. In fact, like the acting in them is quite good. Yeah. If you haven’t seen it, you should definitely watch it and I think that you’ll like it and or slash appreciate it because it is well done.

It is just I would a hundred times go back and watch the third segment again. I don’t necessarily need to watch the first two over and over. I’ve seen them. They were good. That’s fine. The third one’s great and I love it, and I would watch it a hundred times. Over. But if you’ve never seen it, I think you’ll like it.

I do think you’ll like it. 

Todd: Yeah. I, I recommend it highly. I don’t know. I, I recommend it if you’re looking for an anthology, it’s nice. There are worse ones out there. Yeah. There are better ones out there. It’s just fun. Yeah. And if you’re a cat lover, a hundred percent. Gorgeous cat. 

Craig: Beautiful cat in this movie.

Todd: Well, thank you so much for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend. Please write a review of this show only if you like it on Apple Podcasts or wherever you review podcasts. Please, uh, help us spread the word. You can join our Patreon by going to patreon.com/chainsaw podcast, and for just five bucks a month, you can get.

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Thank you so much, listeners, for listening, and until next time, I’m Todd. And I’m Craig with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.