June 11, 2024

#20: The Reason You're Heartbroken & How to Get Over It

20 minutes

So, why does heart break hurt so bad? Well, there is actually a physiological reason. Have you ever heard of something called "broken heart syndrome?" Well, it’s a real thing! In medical terms, it is called Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (coined by Japanese researchers in 1990 because the shape of the heart represented a fishing pot). The condition is characterized by temporary weakening of the heart muscle that can cause symptoms similar to a heart attack. There are several medical studies that analyze and research the effects of heart break:

Studies have shown that heartbreak can trigger a stress response within the body that increases cortisol levels, the hormone responsible for inflammation and weakened immunity

Studies have shown that heartbreak can lead to a multitude of different symptoms such as disrupted sleep cycles, change in appetite, fatigue, brain fog, anxiety, depression, etc.

I want to clarify, Takotsubo cardiomyopathy is an extreme response to emotional distress, therefore, it is not the common physiological response and primarily effects people who are elderly. That being said, all the other symptoms I mentioned previously are common if you have or are currently experiencing a heart break.

So, what do you do? How do you get rid of this pain?

Self-Care: As much as this has become a "trend," it is absolutely necessary when healing a broken heart. Just like you mend a broken arm with care and patience, that is how you mend a broken heart. Allow yourself to grieve and cry it out, but designate time for that. The rest of the time should be used towards productive activities that bring meaning to your life and provide a healthy distraction. When we allow too much downtime after a heartbreak, we allow our minds to run rampant which is what they are designed to do! That's how it keeps us alive. Pick activities that make you FEEL good. Even if you don’t feel good in the beginning, know that it will eventually feel good because it did once before.

Support System: Surround yourself with people who care about you and are able to view the situation objectively. Yes, it's nice to have someone in your corner that defends you to the ends of the earth, however, that can also be a very triggering dynamic. What you experienced is difficult, and having someone you are close to tell you things like, "you deserve better," or "you'll fine someone better," or "that's their loss," only scratches the surface and can be very dismissive although it is well intentioned.

Practice Mindfulness Techniques: Try things such as meditation, yoga, or breath work to help combat the anxiety and depression.

Be Patient: I understand the urge to heal, but you cant rush healing. That’s called coping. Understand that the journey through heartbreak is a subjective experience. Everyone heals at a different rate and that’s okay! Practice self-love, forgiveness, and patience throughout the process. The average person, if you are investing the time and effort into healing and moving on, feels a shift between the 3-4 month mark.

Chapters:

Intro