We’ve made a ton of episodes about how to work on relationships once you’re in them. But we also often get asked… how do I actually find good matches while dating??

It’s not always as easy as making an online dating profile and seeing how it goes. We often focus so much on what we want in a partner that we forget to ask ourselves what we’re actually available to offer. If you’re struggling with dating, we’re gonna help you get clear on your availability and bottom-line requirements, which just might totally transform the experience from an exhausting exercise to an exciting opportunity for genuine connection.

In this episode, we talk about:

— The critical difference between knowing what you want in a partner versus knowing what you're available to offer

— Why fawning (trying to be what you think others want) leads to unsatisfying connections and wasted time

— How to identify and honor your "bottom-line requirements" in relationships

— Why the dating pool in non-monogamy can feel smaller, leading to scarcity mindset and compromising on what truly matters

— The importance of creating dating contexts that support your authentic self (like choosing coffee shops over romantic restaurants for first dates)

— Why having 2-3 specific questions you ask on every first date can help you gather crucial information

— How to balance putting your best foot forward without falling into people-pleasing patterns

— The value of taking breaks from dating when needed and returning with renewed clarity

— Why articulating what you ARE available for is more powerful than listing what you're NOT available for

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Music: Dance of Felt by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions