shunned

211 – "They Would Track Me": Why I Had to Run Away at 21 and Leave a Note on the Basement Door


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This episode features the story of Darby, a 32-year-old former Jehovah's Witness, detailing a life shaped by generational indoctrination, intense familial and organizational control, and the profound personal and emotional consequences of leaving the faith. Born into a multi-generational Witness family, Darby's entire worldview was dictated by the organization's teachings. The narrative traces a path from a childhood marked by performance-based spirituality and corporal punishment to a young adulthood of pioneering under parental pressure.

Key catalysts for Darby's departure include a fundamental inability to reconcile the doctrine of mass destruction at Armageddon with empathy for non-Witness peers, the realization of widespread hypocrisy within the congregation, and the immense conflict between the organization's homophobic stance and Darby's own sexual identity. A traumatic experience involving the cold, detached reaction of the congregation to a close friend's death served as a final breaking point.

At age 21, Darby executed a planned escape, leaving home abruptly to avoid parental interference. This led to being disfellowshipped and subsequently shunned for a decade. The testimony concludes with an overview of Darby's current life, which includes marriage, homeownership, the exploration of personal identity through gender transition, and reconnection with another shunned family member, illustrating a journey toward authenticity and freedom despite the lasting trauma of the experience.

Support the show and get bonuses as well by donating to the cause on our Patreon page, Patreon.com/shunned

Are you struggling in some area of life? Feeling stuck? Need an accountability partner or some encouragement? Need to talk to someone that understands cult life? Reach out and let's talk. I have affordable programs to help as a certified life coach with a focus on cult recovery. Click HERE for more information.

Want more resources? Go to my other website exjwHelp.com

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The songs that Darby chose to represent their story are Bullet With Butterfly Wings by The Smashing Pumpkins and Killing In The Name by Rage Against The Machine.

You can listen to the Shunned Podcast Spotify playlist here for all of the songs chosen by guests of the show.

This podcast was made possible by my original podcast This JW Life. You can find it on any podcast app. It is a 9 part series about life as Jehovah's Witnesses designed to help you understand how it worked in one comprehensive story and to help you process your own if you came from that environment. Read my FREE online book, based on This JW Life, called Becoming Jehovah, in both English and Spanish by clicking here

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