Redemptive Living Radio

#25: Understanding Acting In and Gaslighting


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In this week's episode we discuss Acting In which is also called Intimacy Aversion. We also discuss Gaslighting, a close cousin to Acting In.

Intimacy Aversion is keeping others at arms length in order to self-protect and self-preserve (in an unhealthy way). While this is a part of the human condition, it's especially prevalent with men struggling with sexual integrity issues and it's incredibly damaging - for some, it's emotionally abusive.

We also dig into Gaslighting. There is a difference between Intimacy Aversion and Gaslighting which lies in the motivation. The motivation behind Intimacy Aversion is more about self-preservation whereas the motivation with Gaslighting is about making someone think they are crazy.

We discuss reasons for these behaviors and what to do as a wife when this happens.

We are so glad YOU are here and look forward to discussing more of how to heal from Intimacy Aversion NEXT week.

  • Acting In techniques can be found here.
  • We mention Sarah Morales and the great work she is doing around Gaslighting. She can be found here.
  • We mention the Sitting on Secrets Episode from Season #1 (Episode 10) which can be found here.
  • MasterClasses for men can be found here.
  • Info on the Empowered Boundaries MasterClass for women is here.
  • Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.
  • We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!
  • Click here to subscribe to Shelley's {almost} monthly letter.
  • Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.
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