27. Cancer Made Us Better: A Chat with My Husband

I sure wish I had known that there were resources for caregivers during my cancer journey.

Steve and I didn't even think that maybe he would need to be supported or at least have someone to talk to about what he was going through. I was a mess for a few weeks, and he was my rock. But who was his rock? Yes, he is a man of great faith, and we both relied on God to get us through this season. But day to day, we each needed someone to talk to, to vent to, and for someone to say, "I'm here for you even if you don't think you need me."

I had an incredible group of girlfriends (including my precious mom and two daughters) that came alongside me. Kathy (who was two years ahead of me on her breast cancer journey), along with Kim and Patty, dropped everything on my diagnosis day (Sept 1st) to rush over to my house with pink bracelets that we would all wear and Rombauer Chardonnay that we would all drink, haha.

Kim left me daily phone messages in an attempt to make me laugh. The best one was when she accidentally flushed her Tiffany sunglasses down the toilet at Nordstrom-I laughed until I cried on that one :)

The most challenging time for me was telling my mom and the kids. So hard, I had to have Steve tell my mom. She had to put the phone down she was crying so hard.

My church family supported me, my book club, family and friends, and my C3 group (Christian business group of sisters in Christ), and I was given a breast cancer mentor, Liza, through Imerman Angels.

Steve had some friends he shared with (he's also in a C3 group) and a few other guys, but he needed more support.

I'm hopeful that you can discover better ways to support caregivers through our mistakes. Looking back, we would have set up an appointment with a family counselor to discuss the different aspects of cancer support. We also would have reached out to Imerman Angels to get Steve a mentor- this is an incredible service they offer, mentor support for caregivers - all for free!

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