Differentiating between red flags and pet peeves is VERY important. For me, a red flag is a behavior, character trait, or belief that does not align with your core values or realistic expectations and therefore, would result in a toxic dynamic. 

Here are the TOP 4 Red Flags that I look out for in a relationship:

1. Lack of Communication

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and you to be able to talk openly and honestly with your partner. However, when one partner consistently avoids communication or shuts down during difficult conversations, it can be a "red flag."

 If your partner avoids talking about important issues or brushes off your concerns, it's crucial to address the situation head-on. Ignoring the problem will only lead to frustration and resentment, and it can damage your self-esteem over time. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel heard and respected.

2. Controlling Behavior

It can be challenging to recognize controlling behavior in the early stages of a relationship, but it's essential to pay attention to the warning signs. If your partner tries to dictate your actions, isolates you from your friends and family, or makes you feel guilty for doing things without him, it's a definite red flag.

Controlling behavior often stems from deep rooted insecurities and issues with self-worth. In the beginning of the relationship controlling behavior may be presented in a "romantic way." For example: your partner might want to spend as much time with you as possible because they "miss you," or they might check up on you continually when you are hanging out with friends because they are "worried for your safety." Although these gestures seem sweet in nature, they may be signs of something brewing under the surface. 

Controlling can take on many different forms. On the subtle end you might experience some guilt tripping or passive aggressive behavior. On the extreme end you may experience serious physical and verbal abuse. If you are experiencing the extreme end, please reach out to your local authorities or someone you trust.

3. Disrespect

Disrespect can take many different forms, from dismissive behavior to verbal abuse. I also want to be clear, if your partner does not agree with you on something that does not mean they are being disrespectful. It's important that you evaluate your needs and expectations to ensure they are realistic. However, if there is obvious disrespect in your relationship, I would recommend taking a step back and evaluating how much energy and effort you are willing to invest. It may be time to walk away.

4. Dishonesty

Honesty is a critical component of any healthy relationship, and it's essential to be with someone who is truthful and transparent. However, if your partner consistently lies or hides things from you, it's a major red flag that should not be ignored.

Dishonesty can erode trust and create feelings of insecurity and doubt. It's essential to communicate your expectations with your partner and set clear boundaries around honesty and transparency. 

Chapters:

Red Flag #4: Dishonesty