Who ever starts their day by thinking, “Hey, I’m going to have an affair today?” Doesn’t happen! But, how many people do you know – or maybe this has been you – that find themselves one day asking, “How did this affair ever happen to our marriage?”

Our prayer in writing this is that it makes someone who is reading, suck air and go “OH BOY – it’s time to make an about-turn because I’m headed for a serious marital train wreck!”

While we can never be “safe” from the risk of an affair, we can take measures to safeguard our marriages.

As the Bible says, “Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall.” We need to remember that none of us are invincible, but we also need to remember that some of us are at more risk than others. If any of the following points describe you, then you need to take extra precautions to guard your marriage against an affair.

The following risk factors are from a meta-analysis done in 2010 by Tsapelas, Fisher, and Aron. While this is quite a list, it is so important for each of us to be aware of the risks to our relationship.

1. Relationship satisfaction (how satisfied am I with our marriage?)

2. Mental health or psychological issues

3. Self-perception

4. Social factors

Moving onto more positive things! Here are three things that you can do to strengthen and maintain your marriage while decreasing the risk of an affair.

The best way to protect your marriage is to build a strong attachment bond. Sue Johnson (2004) puts it this way: “Become a source of security, protection and contact comfort for your spouse. Assist each other in difficult emotional circumstances and in developing a positive and potent sense of self.

In plain English, invest in your marriage!

Sometimes it is easier to bury our feelings or to blame others for them than it is to face the feelings directly. Oftentimes though, facing them is the only way we can find healing from them.

We do go into more detail of each point in our podcast, so go listen to that now. And if you’re someone whose marriage has been hi-jacked by an affair, we’d love to be in touch. Please reach out!