October 30, 2023

#30: The 3 PERFECT Date Ideas

20 minutes

So what are the 3 perfect date ideas?

Lust:

This date should be one where you attempt to trigger the lust hormones. Lust is an incredibly powerful feeling that is driven by the desire for sexual gratification. From an evolutionary standpoint, it is rooted in our need to procreate. Now, get two men who have that primal urge and are attracted to one another and what to you get? Hookup culture.

I want to be clear because I have mentioned this many times before, I HIGHLY recommend not sleeping together on the first few dates if you are looking for a serious long term relationship. That doesn’t mean there isn't the potential to find your partner from a hookup situation, but it is highly likely that the relationship wont last. You are using lust to your advantage to rope him in! So, what is an example of a great date that triggers lust?

Wine Tasting

Dancing

Romantic Dinner

A day at the beach

Spa

All of these create an environment for desire and imagination to run wild! The important thing to keep in mind is to not drink heavily on the date. If you do, it is likely that your inhibitions will be lowered, you might get messy, or say something inappropriate. A little bit if alcohol can help with the nerves but a lot can ruin a date.

Attraction:

Dopamine and norepinephrine (also known as noradrenalin) are the primary hormones at play here. Noradrenaline is the same hormone at play with the fight or flight response. So, make this date exciting! I would recommend something adventurous and maybe out of the ordinary. Some examples would be:

A theme park with thrill rides

An outdoor excursion

Indoor rock climbing

Hiking

Connection:

This is where you REALLY drive it home. The chemicals involved in the "connection" phase is oxytocin and vasopressin, the "cuddle hormones." This is where you would really want to turn up the romance and leverage the 5 senses.

In psychology, there is a method called the 5-4-3-2-1 model that is used to ground individuals that suffer with anxiety. It is a powerful tool to create long-lasting memories, which is exactly what you want… to be memorable! My recommendation for this date is a picnic. Why?

It is the best environment to trigger the 5 senses and stimulate those cuddle hormones. It's the perfect 1-2 punch. Choose a location that is scenic, fragrant (flowers or ocean), secluded, and meaningful. Bring a little radio with you so you can play some music and your dates favorite foods! Right there you are triggering sight, smell, taste, touch, and sound. I guarantee you, they haven't been on a date like that before.

The goal is 3 dates. You are having a different experience on all three dates and to be honest, it only takes 3 incredible dates to lock down Mr. right. The name of the game is to be different, leverage some science, and allow your personality to shine!

Chapters:

Intro