November 03, 2023

#31: 3 Boundaries you NEED for a Healthy Relationship

19 minutes

Boundaries are incredibly important in any healthy relationship! If you struggle to set boundaries or to understand what they are, here are 3 that should be implemented in yours!

1. Physical Boundaries

Physical boundaries are essential in any relationship, whether it is a romantic or platonic one. In the queer community, particularly amongst gay and bisexual men, the sexual boundaries are constantly being pushed. It is important that you are aware of what your limitations are and communicate those clearly. For example: you might classify yourself as versatile but prefer to "top" more often because you tear easily when you bottom. In order to bottom you require a lot of preparation, stimulation, and a gentle rhythm. Letting your partner know that in the beginning of the relationship is important in order to set the expectation.

2. Emotional Boundaries

Emotional boundaries refer to how much you share and disclose about yourself in a relationship. It's important to set clear emotional boundaries to avoid feeling overwhelmed, manipulated, or exploited . You should never feel pressured to share more than you are comfortable with, and you should respect your partner's emotional boundaries as well.

It's also important to communicate your needs and boundaries clearly to your partner. For example, if you need alone time to recharge or if you prefer to avoid certain topics, communicate that to your partner in a kind and respectful manner. Emotional boundaries can help create a healthy and balanced relationship, where both partners feel respected and valued.

It is important to note that deep connection comes from vulnerability. If you struggle to share your feelings, it might be beneficial to practice with someone you trust and love like your partner. Setting emotional boundaries is very important, however, allowing yourself to step outside of your comfort zone if you feel safe in the relationship will help to build a stronger connection.

3. Time Boundaries

Time boundaries refer to how much time you spend with your partner and how you prioritize your time together. It's important to establish clear time boundaries to maintain a healthy work-life balance and to avoid feeling suffocated or neglected in a relationship. It's important to communicate your availability and your partner's availability, as well as your preferences for spending time together.

For example, if you prefer to spend time with your partner on the weekends, communicate that clearly to avoid misunderstandings. It's also important to respect your partner's time boundaries and to avoid being overly demanding or possessive. When you establish clear time boundaries, you are more likely to have a happy and fulfilling relationship.

Keep in mind, setting a time boundary is intended to help maintain a sense of independence and self-identity. If you are reserving 80% of your time for yourself and friends and only 20% for your partner, I would highly recommend taking a step back a reflecting on your level of investment on the relationship.

Chapters:

Intro