Mom and Mind

404: Behind the Sessions: Intimacy Challenges When Trying to Conceive


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Many couples struggle to maintain intimacy and connection while trying to conceive, especially when conception takes a long time. My focus in today’s episode is on things outside the scope of an IVF journey, like timed and scheduled intercourse. This journey to parenthood can impact your mental health and the connection with your partner. Intimacy may no longer be spontaneous and fun, feeling like a scheduled task on your to-do list. Let’s explore this topic together!


Show Highlights:

  • Sex can start to feel like a chore, duty, and obligation.
  • Mourning the loss of what you “thought” conception would be like
  • The emotional roller coaster of trying to conceive can create emotional distance between partners.
  • Pressure, stress, anxiety, and worry can lead to feelings of resentment between partners.
  • Managing medical conditions can be an added burden and cause feelings of guilt.

  • Ways to find help and support:

    • Seek couples’ therapy.
    • Create a space for open communication.
    • Prioritize intimacy, closeness, and connection over trying to conceive.
    • Maintain playfulness and find spontaneous ways to be connected.

    • Resources:

      Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

      Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

      You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

      Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

      Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

      If you are a California resident looking for a therapist in perinatal mental health, email me about openings for private pay clients!

      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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      Mom and MindBy Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C

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