When I was first with my (now) husband he showed me my value. Value I didn't know I had. Worth I didn't know I was. He taught me how precious my heart was. He taught me how precious my body was. God loved me through my husband. God healed me through my husband. I remember on our first date I told him that I had never felt safer in my whole life. I felt completely respected and honored by this man. I felt like he would protect me from anything and everything (even from himself). Unassuming. Tender. Kind. And when I read the scriptures, I see that is what Jesus is to women. He is kind. He is loving. He doesn't speak to them harshly. He is moved by compassion when they cry. Seriously. Take a minute and think. Is there ever a time that Jesus is harsh to women? Even when he tenderly corrects Martha, it is in protecting Mary (a woman who had the gall to value herself enough to learn from the great Rabbi). I invite you to explore with me how Jesus treated women. Men if you have never learned from Jesus in this way, I think this will help you. It will help you see your wife as the daughter of the king. As a precious soul that you are tasked to heal and care for. And God can heal her through you... through your genuine safety.

Book referenced:

Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing by Jay Stringer

Blessings,

Belah

PS - If you want our help, feel free to go to delightyourmarriage.com/cc for more info. PPS - Recent husband grad: BEFORE: "Constantly getting rejected was demoralizing and took a mental toll on me for sure. Not being listened to and the lack of respect was basically a punch in the gut pretty much daily, causing depression and definitely other issues within the house as well with the kids also." AFTER: "I wanted to think that I was doing all the right things and that it was her problems that were causing all of the issues between, but I was definitely wrong. Through this program, I have realized that I definitely was living up to my "man of the house" role. Mainly I was not providing her safety. My actions, or lack of actions depending on the situation, were not getting my wife into a safe place where she would be in the mindset to share herself with me physically, mentally, or spiritually. By doing this in turn it has proved to be beneficial with what I feel is much more respect from her, especially around the kids, as well as more frequent episodes of lovemaking."