December 08, 2023

#41: Love vs. Infatuation | How to Tell the Difference?

21 minutes

Infatuation is characterized by an intense attraction to another person, often based on physical appearance or other superficial qualities. Infatuation can be intoxicating, exhilarating, and it feels like you're getting hit by a million different emotions all at once. It's the 0-100 approach of dating and is usually pretty short lived. Most relationships that are infatuation last anywhere between a few weeks to four months.

Love, on the other hand, is a deep and lasting emotional connection between two people. It is built on a foundation of trust, respect, and understanding. Love requires time, patience, and effort to grow and develop. Unlike infatuation, love is not based on physical appearance or superficial qualities, but on a deep connection and shared values. That doesn’t mean physical appearance doesn’t play a role as it is a natural part of attraction, but it's not at the root.

So, how can you tell the difference?

One of the key differences between love and infatuation is the way they make you feel. Like I mentioned before, Infatuation can feel exhilarating and exciting, but it can also be unstable and unpredictable and there are usually a lot of intense highs and lows which can leave you feeling anxious, jealous, or insecure. Infatuation is also usually a self-centered experienced because you are more focused and your needs and getting what you want out of the relationship (validation, sex, attention, etc.)

Love is a more stable and consistent emotion. It can bring feelings of happiness, contentment, and security, and is less likely to be influenced by external factors. Love involves a level of commitment and responsibility to another person which requires sacrifice, compromise, and a willingness to put the needs of your partner before your own.

Here are 2 Things to Look Out For:

One way is to consider the level of emotional investment you have in the relationship. Infatuation tends to be more focused on the physical aspects of the relationship, while love involves a deeper emotional connection.

Another way to differentiate between love and infatuation is to consider the level of commitment and responsibility involved. Love requires a willingness to make sacrifices and put the needs of your partner before your own, while infatuation is often self-centered or self-serving.

It is important to note that both love and infatuation can be positive experiences. Infatuation can be a fun and exciting part of the early stages of a relationship, while love can bring a sense of security and happiness. However, it is important to recognize the difference between these two emotions in order to build healthy, long-lasting relationships.

As a love and self-esteem coach, I often work with clients to help them differentiate between love and infatuation. One of the most important things I emphasize is the importance of taking the time to get to know someone before committing to a relationship. Rushing into a relationship based on infatuation can lead to disappointment and heartache, while taking the time to build a deep connection can lead to a more fulfilling and lasting relationship.

Chapters:

Intro