What if “being a good mother” has less to do with self-sacrifice…and everything to do with self-actualization?

Together, they unpack the “mother code” most of us inherited—the one rooted in perfectionism, martyrdom, and putting everyone else first—and begin to imagine something different: a version of mothering that honors intuition, choice, and self-mothering as the foundation for how we care for others.

Whether you’re pregnant, parenting, child-free by choice, or in a season of caring for aging parents, this conversation will help you see mothering as a lifelong relationship with yourself, your community, and your dreams.

In this episode, we explore:

What “the Mother Code” really is: How culture, family, and history shape our ideas of what a “good mother” should be—and why those codes need rewriting.

From self-sacrifice to self-actualization: The deeply ingrained belief that everyone else should come first, and how tending to yourself actually supports your children, your relationships, and your work.

Mothering beyond children: How you “mother” your business, your creativity, your friendships, your community—and why women without children are absolutely part of the mothering landscape.

Perfectionism in motherhood: Where the pressure to be a “perfect parent” came from, how social media amplifies it, and why chasing the right way to mother is a no-win game.

Rewriting generational patterns: Gertrude’s honest story about her own mother wound, fertility journey, and how doing deep inner work changed the way she conceived, birthed, and parented.

Choice, intuition, and birth: Why informed choice in pregnancy and birth matters so much, what happens when women aren’t listened to, and how trusting your intuition can change your birth experience.

The PACT for self-mothering: Gertrude’s powerful framework for softening your inner critic and mothering yourself.

A simple place to start rewriting your own mother code: One reflective exercise you can do today to begin untangling what you inherited from what you truly desire.

Website: drgertrude.com

Podcast: Rewrite the Mother Code

Instagram: @drgertrudelyons

TEDx Talk: “Rewrite the Mother Code” on the TEDx YouTube channel

Connect with Dr. Gertrude Lyons:

Website: ⁠https://www.drgertrudelyons.com/

Instagram: ⁠⁠@drgertrudelyons⁠⁠

TEDx Talk: “Rewrite the Mother Code” on the TEDx YouTube channel (https://youtu.be/NZ9ZF8JKIDY⁠https://youtu.be/NZ9ZF8JKIDY⁠)

If this episode stirred something in you—if you’re feeling the nudge to rewrite your own stories around motherhood, womanhood, or worth—I’d love to walk with you.

🕊️ Explore The Rebirth Journey, my 12-week coaching experience to help you rest, repair, and rise into your next season.

Thank you for listening to The Midwife Life. If this conversation on redefining motherhood and self-mothering resonated, please take a moment to leave a 5-star rating and a short review. Your words help other women find the support and language they didn’t know they needed. 💛