The SelfWork Podcast

436 SelfWork: Seven Steps to Work Through Disappointment


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Today on SelfWork, the focus is on how to work through disappointment.

John Crowley, my friend and incredible production engineer, chose this episode as one of his "second time around" favorites to present to you in my absence. My immense gratitude to him for taking the wheel!

What are the seven steps to work through disappointment? Here they are!

  • Grieve first.
  • Start getting perspective right off the bat.
  • Consider and acknowledge what your own part was or is in creating the disappointment. That's utilizing your internal locus control.
  • Acknowledge what you couldn't control, utilizing your external locus control.
  • Build back your energy, enthusiasm by choosing to do things that will bring you pleasure. And those dopamine receptors will love that.
  • Look for the windows that are opening as that door closes. Again, you might need friends to do that.
  • Reassess your disappointment. Take time in the next two or three months or even six months to look back and say, “All right, how do I perceive that disappointment now?"

The listener voicemail is from someone who listened to my YouTube episode on enmeshment and wants to learn more!

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You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!




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The SelfWork PodcastBy Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

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