Bipolar disorder can be very difficult to diagnose. But that pales in comparison to what it can be like to live with and manage.

This week, Dr. Margaret Rutherford is republishing her interview with Terri Cheney who writes about her own battle with bipolar disorder. Sometimes she's won that battle. But not every time. And she talks about mixed episodes, which are harder to understand and certainly harder to live through.

Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Publishes April 1st!  Pre-orders matter!

 Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

 Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
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Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Autism is a diagnosis that's feared by parents whose beloved child's development seems off.

Dr. Theresa Lyons, a scientist and autism parent and expert, has lived this life. She and Dr. Margaret discuss what it was like, how she coped, and the professional and personal advice she has to offer.

Dr. Lyons own words on discovering the autism diagnosis...

"I knew something was wrong with my daughter. I just had this intuition. This knowing. That things just weren’t going right. My daughter was developing but there was just something not right. I had a nagging feeling and everyone kept telling me to ignore it and that everything’s fine but I ignored myself and that’s what I get really mad about."

Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Publishes April 1st!  Pre-orders matter!

 Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

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Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Self-blame - when it happens way too much - can be paralyzing.

Five paralyzing consequences of self-blame... 

• You were blamed as a child so it's become part of your own punishing self-critic which can lead to self-sabotage.
• You were manipulated or are being abused and you take the blame to "keep the peace" and become submissive.
• You take the blame for something that's happened to you in order to irrationally regain some sense of control.
• You're perfectionistic and are constantly looking for even the smallest of mistakes that your inner critic pounces on to shame and blame you.
• You need affirmation so you take blame that doesn't belong to you as a way of getting that kind of attention.

Advertisers Links: 

Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription

Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Publishes April 1st!  Pre-orders matter! 

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

 Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

The Bad People Bible  is a definitive guide to removing toxic people from your life.

Written by celebrity and renowned clinical and forensic psychologist Dr. Peter J. Favaro, “Bad People Bible” combines real-life stories, psychological insights, and actionable strategies to help people recognize toxic individuals and get out of relationships with narcissists and manipulators.

Dr. Favaro explained in in this interviews how many narcissists employ incredibly debilitating and manipulative strategies to their partners in marriage. And how very difficult it can be to get out of those marriages. He's seen it all.

As he said, "I'm cynical - I swim in very toxic waters."

Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Publishes April 1st! Pre-orders matter!

 Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

 Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Psychedelic-assisted therapy is being actively researched by mental health researchers for its efficacy. And where it's legal, it's reported to be highly effective in treating depression and suicide prevention. Suicide rates within our veteran and first responder communities are incredibly high, and I’ve had conversations before with several guests on SelfWork about this very painful fact. Research shows that traditional therapies often fall short for these individuals, leading to a search for alternative approaches. In recent years, psychedelic-assisted therapy has emerged as a promising option, harnessing substances like psilocybin and MDMA in controlled settings to facilitate profound psychological healing. By creating a safe environment for exploration of deep-seated traumas, individuals can experience breakthroughs that may have previously been inaccessible through conventional therapeutic methods.

Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Publishes April 1st!  Pre-orders matter!

 Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

 

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

 

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Flashbacks and nightmares are primary symptoms of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) as well as CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) – and they’re extremely frightening to have.

Nightmares and flashbacks occur in different states of consciousness. Flashbacks happen when you’re awake and conscious; nightmares happen during sleep. Nightmares can involve a range of distressing themes, from feelings of helplessness to fears of abandonment. You don’t have to have experienced trauma to have a nightmare, whereas flashbacks are reliving the trauma itself.

We'll talk about the treatments available for both today on SelfWork!

Pre-order The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook - A stand-alone workbook exploring the ten traits of Perfectly Hidden Depression, with guided exercises to help you decide what to keep from your drive and perfectionism, and what to let go.

Publishes April 1st!  Pre-orders matter!

 

Be a part of the conversation and join Dr. Margaret’s newsletter for one weekly email featuring the latest blog post and podcast episode.

 

Have a question or comment? Send a voice message for possible use on the podcast. By recording, you give permission for your voice to be used on SelfWork!

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Messy marriages are all over the place – and living through them and maybe grieving them can at times be extremely complicated. In today’s SelfWork episode, whether you’re grieving the death of someone with whom you had a complex and even hurtful relationship or whether that relationship still exists, you are often needing to grieve that person’s impact on you. With Valentines Day fast approaching, a date that people often have great fun with or hate living through, it’s important to realize that not all grief belongs with “good” or “meaningful” relationships. Maybe you were estranged from them. Maybe the relationship or marriage has taken you down paths that you didn’t want to go or never thought you would – and you have difficult feelings about that. It may seem contradictory – why would you need to grieve someone’s life or simply their presence in your life – if they’d hurt you? Or if you regret either getting married or staying married. That’s on today’s SelfWork.

The listener email today is from someone who read my book on perfectly hidden depression and was moved by it. She paints in eloquent detail her own reaction. Why am I reading it to you? Because maybe it explains how you might feel – or how someone you love might feel.

Vital Links:

Link to pre-order the Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook! 

Research on divorce's effect on children

Advertisers Links: 

Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription

By the way... 

I’m excited to let you know that my new workbook, The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook, is available for pre-order! It’s a stand-alone workbook (so doesn't need to be used with the original book) and goes through the ten traits of PHD - things like taking on too much responsibility, not knowing how to be more open emotionally - and guides you through new exercises and ideas. These can help you decide what about your drive or your perfectionism you want to keep - and what you need to let go. It’ll publish on April 1st - but pre-order numbers are very important! So I’ll hope you’ll pre-order now! Here's the link!

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my newsletter and receive one weekly email from me, highlighting my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join myself and others in my private FaceBook group, click here and answer the membership questions! I'd love to see you there!

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Today we're exploring what's termed "anticipatory grieving."

When you know something is going to happen that will bring its own kind of grief… whether it’s a loved one being diagnosed with a terminal illness, an unwanted divorce being filed, learning that a child will struggle with a learning difference – it can bring a slew of emotions, many of them moving in and out of your awareness quickly. Anticipatory grieving is a way to imagine, visualize, and begin to emotionally prepare for the loss that is to come.

We’ll focus today on the five steps of anticipatory grieving – the how, when, what, where, and why it’s important. But before I do that, for any of you who are thinking, “Why in the hell would I want to do that?” I’ll answer that very good and reasonable question.

I received a lovely message from someone telling me she’d listened to my podcast episode with Terry McGuire – who’s the host of Giving Voice to Depression and has struggled with depression herself. Terry talked about anhedonia – and this listener asked me to talk more about what you can do about this particular symptom of depression.

Vital Links:

Link to pre-order the Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook! 

 

By the way...

I’m excited to let you know that my new workbook, The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook, is available for pre-order! It’s a stand-alone workbook (so doesn't need to be used with the original book) and goes through the ten traits of PHD - things like taking on too much responsibility, not knowing how to be more open emotionally - and guides you through new exercises and ideas. These can help you decide what about your drive or your perfectionism you want to keep - and what you need to let go. It’ll publish on April 1st - but pre-order numbers are very important! So I’ll hope you’ll pre-order now! Here's the link!

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my newsletter and receive one weekly email from me, highlighting my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join myself and others in my private FaceBook group, click here and answer the membership questions! I'd love to see you there!

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Self-criticism can take on a life of its own. And become so constant that you have to fight it on a daily or even hourly basis.

So today we’re going to focus on what may be keeping your self-criticism alive and well in ways that you don't realize.

There are two steps we’ll cover. The first is raising awareness of your own inner self-critical voice. The second is assessing what role or function it may have for you. What purpose might self-criticism have that weirdly protects you in some way or serves a role for you in your life?

For our email, I’ve pulled some excerpts from an email I received from a younger reader who’d read the article on enmeshment I have on my website. She has questions about her relationship with her parents – she finds herself, even in her early 20’s, sharing certain kinds of things with them that her friends don’t share with their parents – and think it’s a little strange that she shares those experiences with hers. Her friends are saying that that’s oversharing – that there are certain things you no longer share with your folks as you grow and develop your own life away from them. Are her friends right?

Advertisers Links: 

Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription!

Vital Links:

Link to pre-order the Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook! 

Dr. Margaret's article on covert narcissism

Enmeshment article by Dr. Margaret

 

By the way...

I’m excited to let you know that my new workbook, The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook, is available for pre-order! It’s a stand-alone workbook (so doesn't need to be used with the original book) and goes through the ten traits of PHD - things like taking on too much responsibility, not knowing how to be more open emotionally - and guides you through new exercises and ideas. These can help you decide what about your drive or your perfectionism you want to keep - and what you need to let go. It’ll publish on April 1st - but pre-order numbers are very important! So I’ll hope you’ll pre-order now! Here's the link!

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my newsletter and receive one weekly email from me, highlighting my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join myself and others in my private FaceBook group, click here and answer the membership questions! I'd love to see you there!

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Are you being judgmental? Many of us would quickly say "no" to that question. But how many people do you know one thing about – and one thing only – and you categorize them as “bad” or “good”, "weak" or "strong," "smart" or "not the brightest bulb."

It doesn’t take long for us to form an opinion. And there are obvious situations – such as one where there’s the possibility of harm – where quick judgments are necessary and very helpful.

But what about the kind of judgment that you make because of your own biases? There are two mental mistakes we'll focus on today: confirmation bias and fundamental attribution error. They sound fancy, but many of us make these errors in judgment every day.

So today we’re going to focus on how you judge your own judgmental-ness. Are you using your better judgment? Or are you making quick judgments that are based on biases and assumptions?

Advertisers Links: 

Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription!

Vital Links:

Test on the Psychology Today website to rate your own judgmental-ness!

New York Times article on Kristin Cabot

Time article on Monica Lewinsky

By the way...

I’m excited to let you know that my new workbook, The Perfectly Hidden Depression Workbook, is available for pre-order! It’s a stand-alone workbook (so doesn't need to be used with the original book) and goes through the ten traits of PHD - things like taking on too much responsibility, not knowing how to be more open emotionally - and guides you through new exercises and ideas. These can help you decide what about your drive or your perfectionism you want to keep - and what you need to let go. It’ll publish on April 1st - but pre-order numbers are very important! So I’ll hope you’ll pre-order now! Here's the link!

You can hear more about mental health and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my newsletter and receive one weekly email from me, highlighting my weekly blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join myself and others in my private FaceBook group, click here and answer the membership questions! I'd love to see you there!

And there’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

Our Sponsors:
* Check out BetterHelp: https://www.betterhelp.com
* Check out Timeline: https://Timeline.com/selfwork30


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands