Maternal rage is, unfortunately, more common than we want to think. The worst part is that not many people are talking about it, which only adds to the stigma and misunderstanding. New mothers are led to believe that they shouldn’t feel rage and anger, and they are shamed when they do. We are uncovering maternal rage, exploring how and why it manifests, and what can be done about it. Join us to learn more!

Nicole McNelis is a licensed mental health therapist and a specialist in perinatal mental health counseling. She is the founder of an award-winning counseling private practice in the suburbs of Philadelphia, where she resides with her family. She has been featured as a mental health expert in print publications, online media, books, and podcasts, and she serves as a subject matter expert and conference presenter for Postpartum Support International. Nicole is passionate about serving the perinatal mental health community through life transitions, big and small. 

Show Highlights:

Understanding maternal rage

Nicole’s belief is that EVERY mom experiences maternal rage at some point.

The “completely unrealistic, nonsensical, and harmful expectations” that we have of mothers in our society

A mother’s experience of injustice, both systemically and in her household

Nicole’s experience and journey with mom rage during the pandemic

The correlation between mom rage, depression, and anxiety

An overloaded system that cannot take any more

When rage is a rational response to what you’re experiencing in your environment

Ways in which rage commonly shows up: the buildup, the explosion, and the aftermath

Individual and system strategies that are sustainable

Recognizing the “season” you’re in helps customize the interventions and strategies.

The two broad factors contributing to mom rage: compromised needs and violated expectations 

Changing our language around sharing household and family labor between partners

Nicole’s two-pronged approach to acknowledging and easing mom rage through individual interventions and strategies

ALL of the responsibility should not be put on the mother!

Nicole’s “rupture and repair” strategy of parenting 

Nicole’s takeaways: “It’s not a meltdown; it’s a message.”

Resources:

Connect with Nicole McNelis: Website and Instagram

Call the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline at 1-833-TLC-MAMA or visit cdph.ca.gov

Please find resources in English and Spanish at Postpartum Support International, or by phone/text at 1-800-944-4773. There are many free resources, like online support groups, peer mentors, a specialist provider directory, and perinatal mental health training for therapists, physicians, nurses, doulas, and anyone who wants to be more supportive in offering services. 

You can also follow PSI on social media: Instagram, Facebook, and most other platforms

Visit www.postpartum.net/professionals/certificate-trainings/ for information on the grief course.  

Visit my website, www.wellmindperinatal.com, for more information, resources, and courses you can take today!

If you are a California resident seeking a therapist in perinatal mental health, please email me about openings for private pay clients.

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