Do you remember what it was like falling in “like” with your spouse? 

What was it that originally drew you to them? Maybe it was their humor, kindness, or how they made you feel seen and appreciated.

Over time, it's easy for that “like” to fade. 

Instead, criticism, judgment, or even indifference creeps in. 

But imagine being in your spouse’s shoes—everything they say and do, examined under a magnifying glass, critiqued and picked apart. That kind of scrutiny doesn’t help them thrive. And nothing wounds deeper than feeling that the person you chose, the one closest to you, doesn’t actually like you.

What if, instead, you accepted their weaknesses and quirks? After all, they have them, and so do you. 

What if you chose to see their strengths instead? What if you noticed what they’re doing right and spoke it out loud?

I want to encourage you to take that step.

Scripture is clear about encouragement and loving our neighbors:

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

“Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:37-39 (NIV)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” Philippians 2:3 (NIV)

“Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.” Romans 12:10 (ESV)

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)

Your spouse needs to know that you see the good in them. That you still like them. That you’re rooting for them, not against them. It’s amazing what a little grace and encouragement can do to rebuild connection and joy.

This Christmas week, I invite you to be gracious with your spouse. Notice the small things—their kindness, their effort, their dedication—and let them know you see it. Accept their weaknesses, support them gently, and call out the good that God has placed in them.

God bless you, and from all of us here at Delight Your Marriage, Merry Christmas!

Love,

Belah & Team

PS - If you want to learn more about how to love your closest neighbor well, we would love to chat with you. Click the link to schedule a FREE Clarity Call: delightym.com/cc

PPS - The third installment of our Pre-Marriage series, the Pre-Wedding Workbook, is available now! We hope this book blesses you and sets you on the path to a peaceful, playful, passionate, and purposeful marriage! Check it out here: Pre-Wedding Workbook