Is there a right way to fight? In this episode, we discuss four different ways that couples tend to handle conflict from the book Vertical Marriage by Dave & Ann Wilson. 

"Win. A winner is usually good at conflict. Winners actually like conflict and are skilled at winning the argument. They bring eyewitness accounts and evidence, complete with full-color pictures, proving they are right."

"Yield. A yielder will "give in" to bring harmony to the relationship. Yielders believe that the marriage is more important than this one, isolated conflict, so they yield to bring peace back to the marriage."

"Withdraw. A withdrawer hates conflict. Withdrawers will do whatever it takes to stay away from conflict. If they can leave the room, consider them gone. But if leaving is not possible, they will shut down emotionally instead. It is very difficult to even engage in conflict. 

"Resolve. A resolver will do whatever it takes to arrive at a resolution. Resolvers can't stand to live life without their conflicts being resolved. It takes a lot of work, but they will roll up their sleeves and get it done in whatever way possible."

Which one do you think you are? Now, what about your spouse? Is your natural tendency in handling conflict helping or hurting your relationship? We challenge you to evaluate this and write down healthy ways you can handle your next conflict. Then DO those things. Now that you are armed with the information, you are not accountable for the information. Who you naturally are is not an excuse for behavior, but an opportunity to grow. 

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