Adult Children of Narcissists - Narcissistic Abuse Recovery - Were you raised by a narcissist? What are the effects of codependency in childhood and of narcissistic parents (with NPD or even just narcissistic tendencies)? Many children of narcissists spend their whole lives thinking "I wasn't good enough," and wondering if their mothers/fathers/other caregivers could and would always be better than they.

The faces of parental narcissism have a number of effects on the children - and as they become adult children of narcissists (ACON), their personalities are formed around this sort of misunderstanding of themselves as seen through the eyes of the narcissistic parent.

"Narcissists have two faces -- the one they wear in public, and the one they wear at home," according to LightHouse.org. "Only those close to the narcissist have any idea there is more than one face. And the narcissist's children know best of all, because children - those who have the least power - are the ones the narcissist allows him or herself to be the least guarded around."

So, kids of narcissistic parents are forced to pretend in public that all is well--all the while knowing that when they get home, things will be different. In some cases, they dread going home because the difference is so significant.

"Narcissistic parents lack the ability to emotionally tune in to their kids," writes Karyl McBride, Ph.D. "They cannot feel and show empathy or unconditional love. They are typically critical and judgmental."

Many kids of narcissists express the same kind of frustration: everyone thinks their narcissistic parent is a saint--the best person ever, McBride says, noting that "while at home their children suffer in silence with their parent's tantrums, disinterest and put-downs -- this is clearly NOT the most wonderful person if you truly know them -- not even close."

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