One of the greatest elements we see in thriving marriages, and those that have successfully navigated healing after a crisis, is the ability to own their part. Over and over we see couples playing the blame game. If it isn't their spouse, they blame other aspects of their past as an excuse for their present behavior. 

The blame game only breeds hurt, and shame, and leads to disrespect.

Before blaming ask yourself these questions...

Take ownership of your part. Take ownership of your thoughts, your behavior, your manipulative tactics. Trust your spouse to God. He can do a much better job than you ever could.