50/50 shared parenting is good for boys & good for parents. 

But it’s not yet the norm, despite decades of research demonstrating the value of shared parenting.

“It’s one part sexism and one part misunderstanding of the latest social science around what it best for kids,” says Emma Johnson, author of The 50/50 Solution: The Surprising Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier & Healthier After a Divorce. “”Thankfully, we are barreling toward a better future. No one’s really been able to quantify where or how often 50/50 is happening, but it’s definitely better than when I divorced 15 years ago.”

Why 50/50 parenting should be the default

Children (and parents) thrive when they have regular, close connection. The exact number of minutes or days children and parents spend together isn’t as important as regular, routine interaction — and that’s what 50/50 shared parenting schedules provide.

“Kids then know, intellectually, emotionally, and in their hearts that my mom and dad are both in it to win it. No one’s going to check out, slip out, or move away. No one’s got the upper hand,” Emma says.

Shared parenting also gives both parents time to practice parenting and time to focus on work, adult connections, and self-care. And seeing both parents actively involved in parenting and work broadens children’s ideas of work and family. As Emma writes in her book, “An equal 50/50 parenting presumption is the one policy change that could dramatically help tens of millions of children, their families, and communities, without any additional funding.”

In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Emma discuss:

• Benefits of shared parenting for parents & children
• The role of sexism in parenting – & parenting decisions post-divorce
• Why you need to let go of the idea of being the “better” parent
• Parental gatekeeping
• Sharing caregiving and financial responsibility
• Co-parenting when your separation or divorce was not amicable
• Societal benefits of 50/50 parenting

Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:

The 50/50 Solution: The Surprising Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier & Healthier After a Divorce, by Emma Johnson

Single Parenting w Wealthy Single Mommy Emma Johnson –– ON BOYS episode

Parenting Boys Thru Divorce — ON BOYS episode

Is Shared Parenting Best for Boys After Divorce? — BuildingBoys post

Moms for Shared Parenting –– an activist organization promoting equally shared parenting 

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