Real Talk about Parenting, Teaching, and Reaching Tomorrow’s Men
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Do you know what the “man box” is?
Your boys do, whether they know the term or not. The “man box” is the set of expectations, perceptions, and behaviors that are considered “manly” in our society.
In this episode, Jen, Janet, and Ted Bunch, Chief Development Officer of A Call to Men, explore the complexities boys face in a world that still clings to outdated ideas about masculinity. Ted shares his perspective on how we can empower boys to live authentically, develop respectful relationships, and move beyond the limitations of the “Man Box,” which often keep boys from becoming their true selves.
Ted Bunch
Together, they discuss ways parents and caregivers can help boys embrace their emotions, communicate openly, and understand the importance of consent. Ted also addresses tough topics, including the impact of pornography, the cultural confusion surrounding sexual consent, and how societal expectations can distort boys’ perceptions of masculinity. Through honest, practical conversations, this episode gives listeners the tools to support boys as they navigate these challenges and to foster connections that build character, respect, and self-awareness.
In this episode, Jen, Janet & Ted discuss:Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:
A Call to Men — includes helpful information & data, as well as links to their programs
Tony Porter’s TED Talk about the Man Box
What I’ve Learned Since My Son Came Out — article by Ted, mentioned at 38:37
The New Masculinity — ON BOYS episode
Empowering Boys to Challenge Rape Culture — ON BOYS episode
Gender Norms Limit Boys (& Girls!) — ON BOYS episode
Sponsor Spotlight: IXLThe world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
Puberty, perimenopause, and neurodivergence affects brains and bodies.
And in two or more of those things are going on in our household at the same time…well, things can get particularly challenging, says Amy Lang, founder of Birds & Bees & Kids.
Amy & Janet discuss it all in this ON BOYS episode
The 3 Key Things Your Neurodivergent Boy Needs to Know about Sex (and 3 Things You Need to Know)
Peri-menopause & Puberty: The Match Made in Heck – Get tickets here
Tue Nov 19, 2024 7:00 PM – 8:00 PM PST
Birds & Bees & Kids — Amy’s website
Resources recommended by Amy:
You Know, Sex: Bodies, Gender, Puberty, And Other Things
Sex Talks With Tweens: What To Say & How To Say It
Amaze.org/us
BARK (inside US)
Qustodio (monitoring outside US)
Sex Ed for Neurodiverse Kids – ON BOYS episode w Amy Lang
Keeping Boys Safe Online (w Amy Lang) — ON BOYS episode
Talk to Boys About Sex (w Amy Lang) — ON BOYS episode
Puberty, Perimenopause, & Midlife Parenting — ON BOYS episode
Schedule your no-cost call with Janet at https://boysalive.com/call
Get 10 FREE meals at HelloFresh.com/FreeONBOYS
Sponsor Spotlight: IXL
The world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
Raising boys isn’t easy. Living isn’t easy! But with patience, trust, and community support, it’s easier — & more pleasant.
In this wide-ranging conversation, Janet Allison & Jennifer L.W. Fink , the hosts of ON BOYS podcast, discuss the reality of raising boys in 2024.
Takeaways:Dealing with Change, Anxiety, & Energy (Listener Q & A) — ON BOYS episode
Trust — BuildingBoys blog post
Trust Your Boys — BuildingBoys blog post
Schedule your no-cost call with Janet at https://boysalive.com/call
Sponsor Spotlight: Hello FreshGet 10 FREE meals at HelloFresh.com/FreeONBOYS
Sponsor Spotlight: IXL
The world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
Use code ONBOYS to save 10% when you shop Avoila Nourishing Face Oil
Boys need support, not disdain
In June 2024, Andrew Reiner, author of Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency, published an article entitled “Our culture’s trashing of boys & men is having toxic consequences.”
In this episode, he and Jen discuss what boys need & we can best support boys.
andrewreinerauthor.com –– Andrew’s website
Andrew Reiner: Building Boys’ Mental Health & Resiliency — ON BOYS episode
Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity that Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency, by Andrew Reiner
The Trouble with Boys Isn’t Boys — article by Andrew
Young, Male, & Adrift — article by Andrew
Boys are Great shop — boy-affirming merch!
Get 10 FREE meals at HelloFresh.com/FreeONBOYS
Sponsor Spotlight: IXL
The world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
Use code ONBOYS to save 10% when you shop Avoila Nourishing Face Oil
AI — artificial intelligence — is already a big part of our everyday lives.
We rely on it to help us get from one place to another. (GPS directions, anyone?) We use it to polish our prose. (Spell check and Grammarly, for instance.) Customer service chatbots and product recommendations based on previous purchases — all of these are built on AI.
The public release of ChatGPT, a AI system that using natural language processing, has accelerated the use of AI in modern life. Students routinely use it for school work — to dismay of some teachers. As AI becomes more integrated into the tools and technologies we use every day, understanding how it works—and how to use it responsibly—is becoming essential for both adults and children.
(AI, in fact, helped me rewrite that last sentence. Initially, it said, “Understanding AI & how to use it ethically is quickly becoming a necessary skill.)
In this episode, we talk with Angela Radcliffe, a mom of two, clinical research expert, and AI enthusiast who created Quantum Kids, Guardians of AI: Story Quest and Activity Book to help kids (and their parents) understand ethical uses of AI.
Takeaways:Quantum Kids, Guardians of AI: Story Quest and Activity Book, created by Angela Radcliffe
What Teachers Told Me About AI in School
Teens Using AI to Create Deepfakes of Classmates Prompts New Bill
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1st time buyers get 20% off (& returning customers get 15% off) with code ONBOYS
The world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
Young Black men and boys remain the most vulnerable student population in U.S. schools.
That’s why David Kirkland, founder & CEO of forwardED, is asking educators to “put a deliberate focus on Black boys” this year – to uplift Black boys, of course, but also because research shows that addressing the needs of our most vulnerable populations helps ALL.
“It’s not that Black males fail. It’s that we fail Black males,” David says. “it’s important for us to reframe that focus so we can understand what we can do better.”
Takeaways:www.forward-ed.com/
Reclaiming Possibliity: An Intentional Focus on Black Boys This School Year — article by David
Can We Talk? A Critical Examination of Cellphone Bans in Schools — article by David
Black Boys Matter — ON BOYS episode
Supporting Black Boys Mental Health (w Chandra White-Cummings) — ON BOYS episode
Boys in School Task Force — ON BOYS episode
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1st time buyers get 20% off (& returning customers get 15% off) with code ONBOYS
The world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
Stop, drop, grow, and glow?
That’s Holly Swenson’s advice to parents. Swenson, a RN-turned-writer and mom of 4 boys (currently ages 10, 13, 15, & 15) was approximately seven years into parenting when she realized that “when you are taking care of yourself, you’re better able to take care of everyone in her life.”
She & Jen talk about her book, Stop, Drop, Grow, & Glow: Forming Deeper & More Joyful Connections with Yourself & Your Children.
Takeaways:
Stop, Drop, Grow, & Glow: Forming Deeper & More Joyful Connections with Yourself & Your Children, by Holly Swenson
liveyourglow.live — Holly’s website
Mom is in Control with Heather Chauvin — ON BOYS episode
Use code ONBOYS to save 10% when you shop Avoila Nourishing Face Oil
1st time buyers get 20% off (& returning customers get 15% off) with code ONBOYS
The world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
Kids can thrive at any size, says Jill Castle, a pediatric dietician, parent, and author of Kids Thrive at Any Size: How to Nourish Your Big, Small, or In-Between Child for a Lifetime of Health & Happiness.
Takeaways:jillcastle.com — Jill’s website
Kids Thrive at Any Size: How to Nourish Your Big, Small, or In-Between Child for a Lifetime of Health & Happiness — Jill’s latest book
The Nourished Child — Jill’s podcast
Picky Eaters, Family Meals, & Nutrition — ON BOYS episode
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Use code ONBOYS to save 10% when you shop Avoila Nourishing Face Oil
1st time buyers get 20% off (& returning customers get 15% off) with code ONBOYS
The world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
How can parents overcome their fears and worries so they can say YES to their boys’ interests and passions?
That’s the question we discuss with Heather Sponholz, a “boy mom” who’s said yes to her teenage sons’ solo National Parks trips, MMA fighting, and ambitious Christmas lights project.
Takeaways:Encouraging Independence — ON BOYS episode
Autonomy-Supportive Parenting — ON BOYS episode
Step In or Step Back? — ON BOYS episode
Age 16 & Learning to Let Go — BuildingBoys post
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Clothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.
1st time buyers get 20% off (& returning customers get 15% off) with code ONBOYS
The world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
SheKnows’ “Be a Man” project is an “exploration of what it means to be a man today,” says Erika Janes, a “boy mom” and SheKnows editor-in-chief.
Importantly, the project includes teen boys and gives them an opportunity to share their thoughts about manhood and masculinity. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the boys’ responses reflect our still-evolving understanding of gender. Crying, for instance, is still seen as a term with strongly feminine connotations, “but almost every boy we talked to said that they did cry,” Janes says. “They still feel like there’s a stigma to boys and men crying, but for the most part, almost of all of them said, ‘I cry at times.'”
Boys, she says, “still get so many messages about traditional masculinity — ‘don’t cry, be strong, be a man.’ But they need to be allowed to express healthy emotion, to express vulnerability, to be able to cry and express sadness. We need to understand and accept that teen boys have all the same emotions as teen girls and that it’s healthier if they have outlets to express them.”
Takeaways:We Asked 4 Teen Boys to Test New Fall Fragrances – Here’s What They Said – SheKnows article
The Response to Tim Walz’s Son’s Proud Tears at the DNC is a Telling Look at Masculinity & Emotion — SheKnows article
How Teen Boys View Male Celebrities & Masculinity, from Ryan Reynolds to Timothee Chalamet — SheKNow article
Gender Equality, Boys, & Men — ON BOYS episode featuring Richard V. Reeves
BoyMom Ruth Whippman on Reimaging Boyhood — ON BOYS episode
Dr. Niobe Way on Reimagining Boys — ON BOYS episode
Understand your metabolism! Go to lumen.me/ONBOYS to save 15% on Lumen
Clothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.
1st time buyers get 20% off (& returning customers get 15% off) with code ONBOYS
The world’s most popular subscription-based learning site for K–12! Get 20% off at ixl.com/TODAY
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