By Janet Allison, Jennifer LW Fink
Real Talk about Parenting, Teaching, and Reaching Tomorrow’s Men
Middle school — and ages 11 to 14 — is “a time like no other!” It’s a time when significant biological, neurological and emotional changes are happening simultaneously. Middle school boys can be a confusing mix. They want to be...
Mother’s Day is a day to honor the sacrifices mothers make for their children. At least, that was the intent of Anna Jarvis, the founder of Mother’s Day in the United States This year, we’re also celebrating the many ways in which mothering...
Division 51 of the American Psychological Association launched a Task Force on Boys in School in 2020. Finally! Boys do worse in school, on average, than girls. Boys are more likely to be disciplined, suspended, or expelled than girls — even when their...
The New Masculinity: A Roadmap for a 21st Century Definition of Manhood, by Alex Manley, can help boys create their own unique definition of what it means to be a man. With a last name like Manley, it was impossible for...
Fostering Connection: Building Social and Emotional Health in Children and Teens is the latest book by Dr. Tish Taylor, a child psychologist with more than 25 years of experience. Fostering connection is also key to boys’ social, emotional, and overall well-being....
Empowering boys and dyslexic learners could positively change so many lives. Jason Kantor, a New York-based homeschool tutor who frequently works with boys and dyslexic learners, believes it’s important to identify kids’ strengths and build them up, so they develop...
Building Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males is Jen’s second book. Janet says it contains “wise words from a mom who has successfully raised four boys,” “wise words from an author who knows how to weave personal stories...
You can build your village, says Florence Ann Romano. Most of us have heard that “it takes a village” to help children and adults thrive. We also want to know where $%@ the village went! Parenting today — often, far...
Jonathon Reed has a lot of experience talking to tween & teen boys. As a program manager with NextGenMen, a Canadian organization dedicated to changing how the world sees, acts and thinks about masculinity, Reed frequently works with boys in grades...
When Michael Gurian published The Wonder of Boys in 1996, there "wasn't any national consciousness about boys' issues," he says. A quarter century later, there are dozens of books about boys, and parents, educators, and politicians alike are realizing that...
Keeping boys safe is a top-of-mind concern for parents. For good reason. Injury is the leading cause of death for people ages 1-44 – especially for children.For kids ages 1-14 in the U.S., injuries cause more deaths than the next 10...
If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, you can call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for help in the United States. Call 988 or 800-273-TALK (8255). The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is open 24 hours a day, every day....
Kids “haven’t changed at all” during the 20+ years Teacher Tom has been working with young children, he says. Parents have, though. And so has society. There’s an increased concern for safety and academic performance, and a lot of anxiety about...
Parental accommodation can limit the skill development of kids with (and without) ADHD. Many boys with ADHD or other executive function challenges struggle despite diagnosis, treatment, and well-intended help — in part because they and their family have received less-than-stellar advice and support. And...
Whole child sports emphasizes wholesome, safe, and developmentally appropriate athletic experiences for kids. It is the antithesis of the toxic, highly competitive youth sports culture that’s unfortunately become the norm here in the United States. Scott Lancaster, a sports performance coach...
Lads need dads, says Sonia Shaljean, director of the UK-based organization Lads Need Dads, one of the only projects in the country working to proactively address the impact of the absent father on boys aged 11-15. Many boys with absent or...
Teen boys mystify (and frustrate) their parents. Especially their moms. But there’s a lot going on behind and beneath that sometimes stony exterior. Teen boys are not devoid of emotions; in fact, they devote a lot of time and attention to...
Damon Brown is a journalist, author, entrepreneur, and primary caregiver for his two young sons, ages 6 and 9. But from his earliest days of parenting, people assumed he was simply “helping” his wife. “I’d put on the Baby Bjorn...
How do you support sibling relationships and build brother-sister bonds? Or connect with a tween son? Photo by Beatnik Photos via Flickr Those are just a few of the questions Jen & Janet tackle in 2023’s first listener Q...
Simplicity parenting, in many ways, is the antithesis of modern parenting. Simplicity parenting prioritizes a balanced schedule, predictable rhythm, and decluttered, information-filtered family environment, while most modern families rush from one activity to the next and live with crammed-full...
“Spicy” boys are those who express themselves in big and loud ways, feel things intensely, and have energy to spare, says Mary Van Geffen, a popular Instagrammer and parent coach for Spicy Ones. Spicy kids “have so much loyalty toward their...
Our February 10 conversation with Dr. Mona Delahooke about her new book, Brain-Body Parenting:How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids, is ON BOYS’ Most Popular Episode of 2022. And no wonder: The Center for Childhood Development calls the book...
Which ON BOYS episodes were the Best of 2022? Some of our favorites! 5. Raising LGBTQ AlliesChris Tompkins, author of Raising LGBTQ Allies: A Parent’s Guide to Changing the Messages from the Playground, recognized the power of unspoken messages when his then...
Linda Flanagan says youth sports are out of control. And she should know. Flanagan is a former youth athlete, cross country coach, mother of a young athletes, and the author of Take Back the Game: How Money and Mania are...
Want to know how to motivate boys? Toss out your outdated beliefs about boys and men, says Maggie Dent, Australia's "boy champion" and author of From Boys to Men: Guiding Our Teen Boys to Grow Into Healthy, Happy Men. "Our...
Andrew Reiner says it’s essential to spend time nurturing boys’ mental health & resiliency. As a college professor, Reiner sees what happens when boys aren’t taught resiliency and don’t develop the skills they need to support mental wellness. “I started...
Fostering gratitude in our boys can help them navigate the inevitable ups and downs of life. And despite what you may think, it is possible to foster an attitude of gratitude in apparently self-centered boys. Science has shown a strong...
Parenting teenage boys is a challenge. And an opportunity. In some ways, says child and adolescent psychologist Lee Bare, parenting a teenage boy is like parenting a newborn. “You have to be prepared for anything and you never know what...
Dads matter. Men matter. To become their best, boys need involved dads and male teachers, coaches, & mentors. But when Marion Hill began working in early childhood education in Phoenix, he “noticed there weren’t a lot of fathers around,” he...
Reading and literacy are important life skills. But many boys struggle with reading and writing -- and resist parents' and teachers' well-intended efforts to help them. Lots of boys are reluctant readers. Many hate writing. Teaching boys to read Middle school literacy instructional...
What does Janet's 8-month-old grandson have in common with a bunch of guys throwing darts at each other in a dark basement? A fascination with objects moving through space -- a nearly universal male tendency that Janet is witnessing in real-time...
Why do boys....do what they do? Bringing up boys brings up all kinds of questions! Jen & Janet have answers. Photo by Pixabay Tamara asks: Why do boys communicate through physical touch/aggression and use sarcasm for communication rather than regular conversation? Katrina worries that her...
We want to build boys -- AND a just world. It's easy to be overwhelmed by seemingly insurmountable challenges, and tempting to not take action on big societal issues like inequity because, well, what can we do anyway? But while it's...
Holding the calm, says Hesha Abrams, is an essential skill for resolving conflict and diffusing tension. Conflict and tension trigger an individual's amygdala, the "reptilian" part of the brain that initiates the flight-flight-or-freeze response. And when the amygdala is activated, the...
Parenting inevitably includes health challenges. Kids get sick. Parents get sick. And injuries and accidents happen more often than we'd like. Learning how to manage a medical diagnosis -- and navigate the health system -- is a crucial parenting skill. "Boy mom"...
Doing more for boys and men does not require an abandonment of the ideal of gender equality. In fact, it is a natural extension of that. -- Richard V. Reeves Those words are from a new book Of Boys and Men:...
Independence is good for kids. Helicopter parenting is bad for kids. But figuring out when to step in or step back...well, that's a challenge! When another boy punched her 11 year old son in the face during hockey practice, writer and "boy mom"...
Middle school boys may seem messy and mysterious, but they're also entertaining, challenging, and inspiring, says Braden Bell. The middle school years are "a wonderful, magical moment," says Bell, an experienced educator, father, and grandfather. "It's important to keep in mind...
When Michael Gurian published The Wonder of Boys in 1996, there "wasn't any national consciousness about boys' issues," he says. A quarter century later, there are dozens of books about boys, and parents, educators, and politicians alike are realizing that we...
Empowering boys to challenge rape culture is one way we can decrease sexual violence, says Gordon Braxton, an anti-violence educator and activist who formerly served as the Director of Men’s Outreach on Sexual Violence Prevention at Harvard University. Currently, most of...
Deborah Farmer Kris is a child development expert, author, and former educator -- and she still finds raising kids a challenge! "None of us are slot machines," she says. "It's not like you put in this language and out pops a...
Positive parenting is more pleasant - and more effective than control-oriented parenting styles, says Amy McCready. Amy is a recovering yeller, mom of two grown sons, founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, and the author of The Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A...
Sexual abuse affects boys and men too. 1 in 6 boys will be a victim of sexual abuse before the age of 18. But, in part due to lingering shame and stigmas, many victims don’t disclose the abuse until years later...
You might not even realize you have a boy with executive function challenges. Instead, you (or others) might think he's "disorganized," "lazy," "resistant," or "unmotivated." Seth Perler was one of those boys. Now, he's an executive function coach who helps other kids...
Stress and trauma can make it difficult for boys to thrive. Counseling, chiropractic care, socio-emotional learning, and other child-focused interventions may help, but only to a certain degree. For real, lasting, sustainable change to occur, adults must manage their own stress. "There's...
Kate Mangino is right: “The last thing any working parent needs is to add ‘solve gender inequality’ to their to-do list.” But if we don't think about gender inequality in the home, we might end up unintentionally perpetuating it. After all,...
Highly sensitive people -- boys & parents alike -- are prone to overwhelm. They're also likely to be misunderstood (and, perhaps, misdirected) by parents, teachers, coaches, and others. "I was told my entire life, 'You're too damn sensitive,'" says Alane Freund, a...
Puberty happens to every body - and boys need to know how puberty affects bodies and brains. You-ology: A Puberty Guide for EVERY Body, by Dr. Trish Hutchison, Dr. Kathryn Lowe, & Dr. Melissa Homes, addresses puberty in a holistic, inclusive...
"Boy mom" Claire Zulkey is the only female in her family. (Yes, the family dogs are male too.) She's also a self-described "evil witch" & creator of Evil Witches newsletter, a fantastic community and newsletter for people who happen to be...
Father's Day here in America was first celebrated on June 19, 1910. It wasn’t declared an official holiday until 1972—58 years AFTER Mother's Day was made official. Dads have long been assumed to be secondary parents, at best. But popular and persistent...