If you enjoyed this topic, you're going to want to join Empowered Surgeons. There’s a dedicated classroom to this topic in the “Surgeon Self-Concept” module. Learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Watch Charles Duhigg's TEDx talk here.

Get his book, Supercommunicators: how to unlock the secret languange of connection here.

To recap

Supercommunicators:

1. Listen closely to what’s said and unsaid
2. Ask the right questions
3. Recognize and match others’ moods
4. Make their feelings easy to read

The four types of conversations are:

1. Social
2. Emotional
3. Experiential
4. Practical

Social conversations answer the question, "Who are we?" The goal=acknowledgement.

Emotional conversations answer the question, "How do we feel?" The goal=empathy.

Experiential conversations answer the question, "What was that like?" The goal=understanding.

Practical conversations answer the question, "What's the solution?" The goal=decision making.

The more we match and synchronize with the person we’re communicating with, the more effective the communication becomes. Doctors often try to jump straight into practical conversations with patients, believing it saves time. In reality, first matching the patient’s style of communication and then gently guiding them into a practical discussion is a far more efficient—and effective—approach.