In this conversation, I’m joined by author and human performance expert Brad Stulberg to explore identity diversity, mastery, and what it really means to build a sustainable, meaningful career. We discuss the concept of the identity house, what it means to feel one's way to skill attunement, core values, process vs product, and how presence and flow are at the heart of mastery.

This episode is especially relevant for surgeons and high-achievers who have poured everything into one role and are wondering how to prevent burnout without giving up ambition.

1. The idea that we all live in an identity house with multiple rooms (e.g., surgeon, parent, artist, athlete, writer)
2. Why having multiple rooms matters: if one room floods or burns down, the entire house doesn’t collapse
3. Not all identity rooms are the same size, and we don’t need to spend equal time in each
4. You can spend most of your day in one “room”—the key is not letting the others get moldy
5. The concept of minimum effective dosing for neglected parts of identity
6. Why it’s never too late to renovate your identity home, even if you’ve lived only in the “surgeon room” for years

1. Why defining core values is the first step in preventing burnout and moral injury
2. Research-backed values associated with long-term well-being: Autonomy, mastery, belonging
3. Two distinct types of burnout:

1. The danger of optimizing for a “successful week” instead of a successful career
2. How ego convinces us we’re more indispensable than we are
3. The liberating truth: the world keeps turning without us

1. “Feeling our way to excellence” and how it intersects with see one, do one, teach one
2. The universal mastery trajectory:
3. Simple → Complex → Simple
4. Why what looks “simple” is actually hundreds of unconscious micro-steps
5. The four stages of competence:: unconscious incompetence, conscious incompetence, conscious competence, unconscious competence (the apex of excellence)
6. Why many high-achievers get stuck in conscious competence (or try to skip steps)
7. Presence, intimacy with craft, and why the best moments (like a first kiss) are thoughtless

1. Seeing your work as a craft, not just a job
2. Identifying the right goals without obsessing over them
3. The danger of outcome fixation
4. Why process is what sustains excellence over time

1. The nuance of “going all in” without “going all the time”
2. Stimulus + rest = recovery
3. How intensity and joy are not opposites, but partners

Join Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Find Brad Stulberg and his incredible books here.

Trauma is more common than we think, especially in high-stakes professions like surgery. In this episode, I define trauma, PTSD, and post-traumatic growth and explore how these experiences can show up in the body, the nervous system, and everyday life.

Drawing from my own experience with complex PTSD and panic attacks, I walk you through a practical, humane process for moving through trauma rather than around it. This isn’t about fixing yourself or returning to who you were before. It’s about learning how to metabolize difficult experiences and create something meaningful from them.

If you need support, you can get on my calendar for a free consult here.

Join us in Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Join Empowered Surgeons here.

Book a free consult with me here.

And if you're here for the free content, amazing! My next masterclass + open coaching is on December 14th at 10 am EST. Sign up for "5 Ways Surgeons Fail" here.

In this episode, I break down what coaching is. Not the corporate wellness version, but the real, practical, life-changing version that surgeons and high-stakes professionals actually need.

Coaching, as I define it, is choosing thoughts that generate feelings that empower you to create results you truly desire. It's the antidote to the soul-crushing grind of modern healthcare, moral injury, the day-to-day depletion, and the feeling that you’re running out of capacity while the system demands more.

It’s also the only part of this profession that you can truly control.

We start by identifying what you yearn for (your will), then reconnecting with your power, the internal clarity, agency, and authority that have been buried under years of training, cultural conditioning, and systemic pressure. Then we learn how to wield that power with intention and compassion. In this way, one moment at a time - little by little - your impact and your world expands. Instead of stagnating and staying small, you show up big. You create big things.

I know it works because I've done it.

If you’ve ever wondered what coaching actually is (and isn’t), why it works, or whether it’s worth your time, this episode is your starting point.

⚠️ SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING

This episode discusses suicide, which may be distressing for some listeners. If this subject is triggering for you, please consider skipping this episode. If you choose to listen, do so gently and take good care of yourself. If you’re feeling hopeless or suicidal, please reach out for support. You can call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 or click here for additional resources.

Dr. Michelle Chestovich is a family medicine physician, physician coach, and the host of the Remind Yourself podcast—soon to be renamed Stress Rx. She is also the sister of Dr. Gretchen Butler, a brilliant, beloved human and radiologist who died by suicide on March 5, 2021.

Michelle’s story mirrors the quiet struggle many physicians face. She found herself living a life she didn’t quite sign up for, balancing the demands of medicine with a shifting sense of identity after becoming a mother. Coaching became her pathway back to clarity, alignment, and truth.

Her sister, Gretchen, faced the impossible convergence of pressures, expectations, and circumstances that contribute to the staggering statistic of 300–400 physician suicides each year.

This episode is a tender, honest conversation about grief, the hidden burdens physicians carry, the systemic failures that harm our colleagues, and the transformative power of recognizing our own humanness.

Get a lifetime of support in Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Learn more about Dr. Michelle Chestovich and how she can help you here.

*********SENSITIVE TOPIC WARNING*******************

This episode discusses substance abuse and suicide. Please listen carefully.

In this powerful and deeply honest conversation, Dr. Courtney McKeown shares the story she was once told would be “career suicide”—a story of mental health crisis, addiction, recovery, and the hard-won journey back to her authentic self.

She reflects on the research-year psychotic break that led to hospitalization, the healing support of an extraordinary program director, and her rise into a prestigious hepatobiliary fellowship at the Cleveland Clinic. But even at the top, her body kept signaling what she now sees clearly: her life was misaligned, fueled by external validation and hidden coping mechanisms.

When routine monitoring uncovered her secret drinking, she was thrust into the harsh reality of how the medical system treats physicians in distress—often punitively, fearfully, and without nuance. She describes how the state of Ohio’s approach pushed her to rock bottom, how a trusted psychiatrist saved her life, and how the state of Massachusetts’ more compassionate physician health program ultimately helped her rebuild it.

Courtney has been sober since March 2021. She chose to share her story publicly, despite warnings it would end her career. Instead, the opposite happened. A closed credentialing door redirected her to a new opportunity—now serving as Chief of Surgery in a community where she is supported, aligned, and deeply fulfilled.

Her journey highlights both truths: yes, institutions can weaponize oversight against physicians who don’t “fit,” and our ultimate success cannot be dictated by anything outside of us. Alignment, authenticity, and courage are powerful forces.

Today, she is living her best life: thriving in private practice, leading a department, and connecting with her patients more meaningfully than ever.

• The research-year crisis: stimulants, psychosis, and hospitalization
• The power of a supportive program director and the road back to residency
• The dream fellowship that wasn’t aligned, and how her body told the truth
• Addiction, secrecy, and the moment she was “caught”
• How states differ dramatically in supporting (or punishing) physicians in distress
• The paradox of safety expectations: punished for depression, allowed to operate without sleep
• The credentialing roadblock that redirected her to the role she was meant for
• Two truths: systemic weaponization and internal sovereignty
• Sobriety since March 2021 and what real recovery looks like
• Living in alignment: joy, leadership, community practice, connection with patients

Find Courtney on instagram here.

Watch her story on CBS morning news here.

Join Empowered Surgeons here.

Trauma surgeon and healthcare leader Dr. Scott Ellner joins me to talk about the moments that reshaped his life and career, from witnessing a beachside intubation at age 21 to navigating one of the lowest points of his surgical practice. We explore complications, shame, psychological safety in the OR, and why compassion and emotional intelligence are essential (not optional) in surgery.

Scott shares the retained foreign body case that transformed his approach to leadership, the danger of tense OR energy, and the difference between title-based authority and referent power. We also discuss the failure of punitive peer review, the legacy of Ernest Codman, and what it really takes for surgeons to regain confidence after early-career mistakes.

We each open up about panic attacks—mine recently in the OR, his in medical school—and talk about vulnerability, preparation, and staying ahead of fear. Scott also previews his upcoming book, Wipe Out Rise Up, a blend of surgical stories and lessons from surfing on resilience, perseverance, and facing storms head-on.

Find Scott and his book here.

Listen to his TEDx talk "Lessons from Surgery and Grey's Anatomy" here.

Join Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Get the pre-or mindset checklist here.

Join us in Empowered Surgeons Group here.

Anxiety can be transformed into resilience and courage, but only when we move toward it, not away from it.

Anxiety is the life-saving fear response misapplied to the imagination.

By definition, anxiety is a lie.

What we fear—killing the patient, facing a lawsuit, losing our reputation, losing everything—is not actually happening in real time.

Fear is intuitive, primitive, and immediately actionable. It comes in a wave, then recedes.

Anxiety, on the other hand, never relents.

• Fight
• Flight
• Freeze
• Fawn
• Flop

When we close a loop with fight or flight, our brain registers safety and completion.

But when we respond with freeze, fawn, or flop, the event can encode as trauma.

That’s why exercising healthy fight—asserting boundaries instead of people-pleasing—is essential.

In the hierarchical culture of surgical training, this can be especially hard to do.

Notice the thoughts your brain offers, often disguised as innocent questions:

Instead of accepting that thought as truth, offer the opposite:

Then, shift into a mental state that serves you. I like to remind myself:

Finally, create a short ritual, like visualizing the entire case from start to finish at the scrub sink.

When anxiety hits—bleeding, getting lost in a dissection, uncertainty—let the physiologic surge pass through your system for 90 seconds.

Do not believe the story your brain tells you during those 90 seconds.

Once the wave subsides, find certainty:

Then move from known to unknown with curiosity and creativity.

Download your thoughts.

Speak them into a voice memo or write them down unedited, unfiltered, stream-of-consciousness.

Getting it out of your head helps you process, release, and reset for the next case.

Key takeaway:

Anxiety isn’t the enemy; it’s an invitation.

When you learn to meet it directly, you transform it into the fuel for courage, clarity, and growth.

In this episode, digital marketer Colin Royal—husband to ENT surgeon and fellow Hippocratic Collective co-founder Dr. Frances Mei Hardin—joins the show to discuss everything we didn’t learn about how industries outside of surgery work.

In surgical culture, we often carry false notions, like the idea that we should give our time, energy, and value away for free (see Episode #4: Toxic Martyrdom).

The truth is: we aren't exempt from the rules of business. Businesses need money for sustainability, and money comes from value.

As surgeons, we have a lot of value to give the world.

We give value to our patients when we hold space for them in clinic and offer our expertise. We give value in the operating room when we use our skills to help fix their problems. We give value to our communities by taking call. We give value every time we answer phone calls and messages.

These are all value points, and we’re not wrong or bad for monetizing them. Every other industry does. That’s how a profession becomes sustainable: the more value you offer, the more people want to pay to receive it. The more resourced and protected you are as the ASSET, the more capacity you have to give your value for free…when you want to. Giving value away for free isn’t bad in and of itself, but when a system or culture forces us to martyr ourselves against our will, that’s a recipe for burnout and implosion.

When we begin to understand how the world outside of surgery works, we open the door to diversifying our identity. We start to feel comfortable with the idea of multiple income streams. We stop telling ourselves that we’re special snowflakes with no discernible skills beyond surgery. We can learn marketing, selling, and social media just as well as the next person.

The sooner you learn these lessons, the sooner you release yourself from your self-appointed shackles and the sooner you create freedom to evolve with your career. You deserve to be compensated for the immense value you offer the world. And you get to give value away for free on your terms.

If this resonates, you are going to want to follow The Hippocratic Collective here. If you have an idea you want to share with the world, HC can bring that idea to life. If you are a woman surgeon interested in the Cabo retreat, get on my calendar here. You can learn more about Empowered Surgeons Group here.

******SENSITIVE CONTENT WARNING*********

This episode discusses child abuse, religious trauma, depression, moral injury, and pediatric violent trauma. Please listen carefully.

Pediatric surgeon Dr. Jose Greenspon shares an unflinching account of practicing at one of the busiest trauma centers in the country, shouldering all of the work after his partners resigned, all while his own faith, family, and mental health unraveled. He speaks candidly about stigma in surgery, moral injury, being labeled “disruptive” when asking for help, and the moment a sensory trigger in the OR surfaced a childhood assault by a rabbi. This conversation is about the cost of carrying more than one human can hold, and the courage to put the burden down.

If this episode resonates with you, and you'd like to reach out to Dr. Greenspon, email him at [email protected]

In this episode we discuss:

• Dealing with life-and-death without a vent partner: Pediatric penetrating trauma is difficult enough; facing it without support is punishing. Dr. Greenspon recognized the essential need for a trusted peer or space to unburden the experiences surgeons carry.
• Faith in crisis: As an Orthodox Jewish man, he struggled to find God in the chaos—then a flashback to childhood molestation shattered what remained of his religious safety net and contributed to the end of his marriage.
• The breaking point: A child his daughter’s age died from a gunshot wound to the chest. A smell in the OR triggered a panic attack and a vivid flashback. He finished the case, then self-reported to the CMO.
• Stigma and moral injury: Seeking help led to being labeled rather than supported. “You martyr yourself, and it gets weaponized against you.”
• Choosing to leave: Why leaving a toxic job and facing his demons was the best decision, and how outstanding residents became close friends.
• “Parent whisperer”: How he builds trust with families, honors the gravity of every operation, and treats residents with radical humility: “The only difference between me and you is that I happen to come first.”
• Work as a vice: How unprocessed trauma can morph into work addiction, guilt, and a compulsion to protect children—plus what recovery looks like now with a therapist who understands religious abuse.
• System reflections: On toxic competitiveness in pediatric surgery, administrative incentives, and what true appreciation and backup should look like.

RAINN (U.S.) — National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800-656-HOPE (4673) | rainn.org

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (U.S.) — Call or text 988 | 988lifeline.org

Physician Support Line (U.S.) — 1-888-409-0141 | physiciansupportline.com

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• For coaching and community: Empowered Surgeons Group—tools, calls, and connection for surgeons navigating moral injury, complications, and career inflection points.

Thank you, Dr. Greenspon, for the honesty and heart you brought to this episode.

Click here to join Empowered Surgeons Group.

On today's episode, enjoy the replay of the webinar, "From Imposter to Integrated: Reclaiming Humanity and Authenticity in Surgery".

You can access all webinar replays inside the Empowered Surgeons Group member portal. Looking forward to seeing you inside the group!