Are your habits holding you back?

We live our life through habits. Everyday moving through subconscious motions that allow you to go from activity to activity without necessarily thinking about them. 

A habit is a routine of behaviour that is repeated regularly and tends to occur on a subconscious level. Now some of our habits are good, healthy habits that keep and hold you accountable to achieving great things in your life, however some habits that you are subconsciously doing at the moment are holding you back from success. 

With many of my 1:1 clients I work with habit changes, as habits are truly at the core of everything we do. We change one habit and a lot can shift in our life. It sounds so easy, doesn’t it, but many of us don’t keep track of what habits are working and what habits are not. 

One thing I know for certain, through my own experience that it’s going to be very difficult to reach your dreams if you are living with a list of bad habits. 

Before we dive into some actionable steps today I wanted to bring some destructive habits to your attention. Ones of which, if you are doing, could be hindering your success (and I am saying this from complete experience) 

1. Seeking approval.

If you are constantly focused on what others think of you and what you are doing you are allowing no space to hear and listen to yourself. You always have the answers within and a lot of time we don’t allow ourselves to listen in before seeking approval or validation from external factors.  

2. Shifting the blame.

Are you living from cause or effect? Are you blaming every man and his dog for things that you know deep down you are not doing yourself. Start to remove the excuses and start to take action, see opportunities no obstacles. If you woke up every day seeking the opportunities rather than focusing on the obstacles - life would begin to look very different. 

3. Undefined goals.

Yes you might have that big picture, that feels so far away but it actually doesn’t have to be. The subconscious mind needs guidance in where it’s going , it needs clear instructions just like we do when we need to get to a destination we are not sure on. Define the goals, break them down into small bite size chunks - what needs to happen today, this hour, this minute in order for you to get there. 

4. Neglecting your health.

Wow, and don’t I know it.  The majority of 2020 I allowed everything but my health became a priority, I was the master of excuses in this department. But as I have said many times before, how you do one thing is how you do everything so letting yourself fall into bad health habits such as eating poorly, not exercising or not getting enough sleep will leave you mentally and physically exhausted, stressed and prone to illness. We want to be working at peak performance to achieve our goals and many of my clients goals are to empower millions of people out there - you will not be able to do this when pouring from an empty cup. Self discipline, self worth and of course self love plays a big part in your health - is it time you started respecting yourself more?

1. Self-doubt.

Self-doubt, the feelings and thoughts that kills dreams and keeps amazing people playing small. Negative self talk and a fear of rejection will only fuel feelings of uncertainty and indecision. Is it time that you let go of the habit of self-doubt because of course it is just a habit, a behaviour you do subconsciously. The more you believe in yourself and visualise your success, the more likely you are to succeed. 

There are many other habits that could potentially be holding you back but I am going to allow yourself to find out which ones.

So let’s see which habits are no longer serving us. This could be habits of the past, something we used to do when we were younger or something we have picked up from influential people in our lives. 

Today I want you to make a space in your notes on your phone, write down all the habits you have. The good, bad and the ugly. Remember the first step to change is awareness. Is it the extra chocolate biscuit you have with your cuppa at 9pm, is it listening to the negative self-talk so you don’t apply for that amazing opportunity you’ve been looking at for months or is it not moving your body so you feel constantly tired and not energized. 

Once you start noticing the list I want you to work through these journal questions:

1. What do you consider your worst habit to be? Describe it in detail, including how and under what circumstances you do it.
2. When you do whatever this “worst” habit is, in what ways do you punish yourself? Or do you? How does having this habit affect your life, self worth, self belief?
3. What inner need does your habit fulfill? What ways does indulging in this habit work for you; what are its positive aspects? Think about when you first began this habit. What were its positive aspects then? What did you achieve for yourself by doing it?
4. What is the opposite of your habit? Journal about this opposite quality or habit and what you think your life might be like. Do you feel resistance to your habit’s opposite? Write about the resistance.
5. Write about what your life would be like without your habit. Would you prefer a life without it?

Keep an eye out for part two of ‘What habits are holding you back’ where I am going to discuss the next steps and how to create those new healthy habits.!