The Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy

6. The Hardest Part of EFT: Focus

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The 3 Parts of Focus

  1. Getting the mission started.
  • Resetting focus when you lose it (this will happen because of reactivity).
  • Trusting the process to the mission.

    •  Show Nuggets:

    • YouTube link to Sue Discussing the EFT Tango. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ7ELF8mE3Q
  • Knowing the EFT map (steps and stages)
  • An understanding of the role of emotion in an attachment framework. A great resource on adult attachment (https://www.amazon.com/Attachment-Adulthood-Second-Structure Dynamics/dp/1462533817/ref=sr_1_4?crid=8N3E1AZ3W9L5&dchild=1&keywords=adult+attachment&qid=1586193336&sprefix=adult+attachment%2Caps%2C172&sr=8-4)
  • It is hard for our couples to keep focus because they lose sight of connection when they get hurt.
  • We are asking our clients to get into a process that has been a source of pain for them in the past so it makes sense why it is hard for them to maintain focus when we get into vulnerability in session. Skilled therapists have to be able to hold focus when the client’s protection tries to get them out of their fear.
  • A very focused therapist has clients who are nervous because the therapist does a good job of holding a focus on emotion and attachment.
  • We can’t be completely responsible for the outcome, but we (therapists) are responsible for the process in the session.
  • When you are focused on the target (bond/attachment) your client’s attachment will throw your blocks. The blocks are actually a good sign that you are on target.

    • “It’s not that you can’t talk about content at all. What we want to do is to not get stuck in content. In content is so much emotion, but you have to learn to do is to use the content as opposed to restricting it out of the room.” Dr. Alison Lee, Vice President and co-founder of ICEEFT.

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