Today we are digging into the truth about resilience. Resilience has been branded as something that an individual should strive to have when facing adverse conditions. Resilience has been explained as something one can grow over time - which is true. We do become more resilient as we face more hardships. But, when we think of resilience in this way, we can quickly see how resilience is then required much more of certain people. In fact, we see that the most resilience is required of the people with the fewest resources. This feels backward, doesn’t it?  

Perhaps we need to look at the roots of the systems that set some folks up to require a lifetime of resilience to merely survive.  

When we look at resilience through this lens, we see…

The system tells you, “Practice resiliency!” when the system was not built with any tools or resources to support your resiliency.

The system tells you resiliency is your job alone when the system is beating down and failing large marginalized groups on a mass scale.

The system tells you resiliency is about the last few years, all you’ve been through, and how well you’ve adapted. When in truth the system has been beating down women, mothers, POC, and marginalized communities for centuries.

The system tells you resiliency is a problem solved through self-care when self-care won’t make any difference if you have to jump right back into the structures that harm you after your bubble bath.

The system tells you, “Look at you! You’re strong! You’re adaptable! You’re the model of resilience!” without acknowledging that it has no plans to evolve or change to make your life easier. Instead, you will have to be your strongest, most adaptable, most resilient self #everydamnday until you die.

When we take on our own resiliency as a personal project, the system keeps winning. The system is upheld. The system functions exactly as it was intended to. 

This episode explores how you can take care of yourself as you try to fit a tiny bandaid (your resiliency habits) on a large wound (the system in which, perhaps, you were never expected to fully succeed.)

Links mentioned:

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsor

Interested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at [email protected]

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices