“You can’t pour from an empty cup!”

There is this long-standing narrative that women should practice filling their cups so they have something in their proverbial cups to pour out and share with others in the form of time, energy, love, and/or care.  

This narrative reinforces that women should take care of themselves for the purpose of being better caretakers of others. Because, as the cultural narrative goes, caretaking at home, at work, and in our communities is a woman’s primary role. We are trained from a very young age to be self-sacrificial at every turn like martyrs marching through life every damn day.  

I led a training last week on how women leaders can support their teams during these extraordinarily challenging times. I kicked off the event by explaining that while the training was an opportunity for attendees to learn how better to take care of their teams during this time, I was first and foremost concerned with them taking care of themselves and filling their own cups. But… NOT for the sake of pouring into someone else’s cup.  

You deserve to fill your cup just for the sake of having a full cup. Not for the sake of sharing anything in our cup with anyone else. You deserve a full cup that is just for you. 

There are enormous costs when we fill our cups only to pour into others. Over time, our physical and mental health are compromised. We find ourselves constantly on the brink of burnout, if not in full-blown burnout. We miss out on opportunities for advancement because we are so busy helping to advance others.  

In this episode, I share examples of what it looks like to fill your cup just for you, how to break lifelong patterns of self-sacrifice and self-abandonment, and how filling your cup opens the door for others to pour from theirs (and why this is so important!) 

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