Redemptive Living Radio

#99: Building Blocks of Intimacy - Part 1


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Welcome to Season #8 of RL Radio! We are excited to connect with you guys, laugh a little, and also partner with you as you move forward with healing. This season, we decided to start recording podcasts as videos (in addition to the podcast). In that vein, we wanted to record in our sitting nook off our kitchen - and did for a handful of episodes for this season, including this two-part series. As I listen to this recording, I can hear that we have some tweaking to do, so you will probably hear those tweaks as we go through the season, and hopefully, we will land in a happy-sounding place.

In this episode, we wanted to fully dive into The Building Blocks of Intimacy. We have mentioned the building blocks in episode #41, but surprisingly, we haven't done a full episode (or two) walking fully through the building blocks of intimacy. So here we go!

We start with a couple of disclaimers:

1 - The building blocks are a framework, not a roadmap.

2 - The point is NOT to get to the top of the pyramid.

3 - Sex addicts don't know how to experience intimacy that is integrated or holistic.

And then set up the building blocks. Please refer to the podcast freebie (and if you have subscribed to the podcast freebies in the past, you will need to email us so we can resend the email to you) so that you can see the visual of the building blocks of intimacy OR you can look on page 118 in the Rescued workbook.

A couple of important notes (as we discuss the layers within layers):

1 - We have the buildings of intimacy that essentially look like a wedding cake with layers, and then we also have layers within each of the boxes (consisting of intimacy with self, intimacy with God, intimacy with others, intimacy with spouse).

2 - I really appreciate what Jason shared when he compared the building blocks of intimacy to porn. The building blocks of intimacy are sacred, deep, rich, and complex. Porn - not so much. While this is tragic, it can also be very reassuring that we can NOT be compared to porn.

3 - Jason also said: "We long for the safety of true intimacy and we find the fraudulent form of safety in secrecy." We = the sex addict.

4 - Our wounding causes certain blocks to be disproportionately in demand. As in, certain blocks are super-sized based on his core wounds.

In the next episode, we are going to pick up where we left off and walk through certain "approaches" that we need to look out for as we use the building blocks framework, which will help all of you have the language for what might be missing and what is working.

We are so glad YOU are here. Thanks for joining us for Season #8.

  • Jason mentioned the Worthy of Her Trust Workshop which will be outside New Braunfels, TX (between San Antonio and Austin) in January, 2026. Click here for all the details.

  • We WILL be uploading the video portion of the podcast to the WOHT Academy website. If you scroll to the bottom of this page, you'll find the signup button for our Public Content Section. If the content is helpful, you might consider joining the Academy membership to access more teaching videos and weekly live teaching with our team.

  • Make sure you download the Podcast Freebies! You can do that here.

  • For more information on RL Academy, click here.

  • Join the community on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus.

  • We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop!

  • Click here to subscribe to Shelley's {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason's list.

  • Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast

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