When your ADHD sex drive doesn’t match what you “think it should,” it’s easy to assume something is wrong with you—or that you’ve fallen out of love. But in this episode, Dr. Jolene Brighten sits down with Leann Borneman to unpack a radically different truth: for many women with ADHD (and many women in perimenopause), the problem often isn’t a lack of desire—it’s a lack of access to desire. If you’ve ever wanted intimacy… but your brain felt overloaded, your body felt “nope,” or you couldn’t even figure out how to start, this conversation will feel like someone finally turned the lights on.

In this episode, you’ll learn why spontaneous desire is largely a myth, how executive function can quietly “gatekeep” intimacy, why common advice like “schedule sex” can backfire hard for neurodivergent women, and what to do instead. You’ll also hear why lube can be a relationship-saving tool (not a failure), how sensory issues can shut down arousal without you realizing it, what ADHD medication can change (in both directions), and why certain structured intimacy frameworks—including ethical kink and BDSM—can be uniquely supportive for ADHD brains because they combine novelty + safety.

This Episode Is Brought to You By

Dr. Brighten Essentials 

Want science-backed supplements formulated by a doctor who actually understands women’s health? 🌿 At Dr. Brighten Essentials, every product is crafted to support your hormones, boost your energy, and help you feel your best—inside and out. From targeted nutrients for glowing skin to essentials that fuel your daily vitality, you’ll get the highest-quality ingredients in forms your body can truly use.

Exclusive for podcast listeners: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off your order.

Shop now https://drbrightenessentials.com

Coconu

Want body-safe, hormone-friendly intimacy products you can trust? 🥥 At Coconu, everything is made with organic, plant-based ingredients and free from hormone disruptors, harsh chemicals, and synthetic additives. From luxurious lubricants to intimate essentials, Coconu is designed to support comfort, confidence, and connection — helping you feel your best in your most personal moments.

Exclusive for podcast listeners: Use code DRBRIGHTEN15 at checkout for 15% off your order.

Shop now https://coconu.com/?srsltid=AfmBOooMIqrz83hshHQKhKgBI10ExK2Q2Erh3DUCLJ-BTwC79XgO4WrL

Connect with Leann

👩🏻‍⚕️Follow Dr. Jolene Brighten:

💻 Website:⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://www.drbrighten.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

📸  Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/drjolenebrighten⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🎥 TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@drjolenebrighten⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🧵Threads: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.threads.net/@drjolenebrighten⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🌟 Grab my free hormone friendly recipes here! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://drbrighten.com/hormonekit/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

🎧 Subscribe to the Podcast:

Apple: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dr-brighten-show/id1786362161⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/5VWcYWJFzi3OnwidT25IXi?si=481df20ef0a6417⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

YouTube:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@drjolenebrighten⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

👉 If you found this episode valuable, drop a comment below to tell us what you loved most, and share it with a friend! Let’s spread the knowledge. 💬

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices