Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach

Nearly everyone who writes personal stories in any form has agonized over how much to share.

Will writing about an issue from childhood break Mom’s heart?

Should I change the name of a high school teacher? The next-door neighbor? The dog? The children?

Are the hyacinths blooming by the mailbox worth mentioning?

We write.

We worry.

Is this naval gazing or vulnerability?

Will people feel I’m airing the dirty laundry or sharing my own struggles so others might find healing?

But…stories!

Goodness, stories set your projects apart from all other essays, articles, and books, because only you had that encounter, that experience, that struggle, that transformation.

When you make a claim and support it with your own life story, no one else could have written that piece.

Stories create connection between reader and writer.

Stories convey universal truths through specific situations.

You don’t have to share your darkest eras or most embarrassing moments to offer transformative stories to readers.

You don’t have to bare all to be a generous and effective storyteller.

You get to choose what to share with the public on a blog or in an article…and you get to choose what will live only in a journal, shoved under your mattress.

A few years ago, I found a quote from author Gabriel García Márquez, suggesting we have three lives:

• A Public life

A Newsweek article writes:

About [Márquez’s] own romantic passions, though, the author remained tight-lipped. He told his biographer Gerald Martin “with the expression on his face of an undertaker determinedly closing a coffin lid back down, that ‘everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life and a secret life’.” When Martin asked if Márquez might give him access into the latter, he replied: “No, never.”1

​Kenneth Samples at Reasons to Believe describes these three lives:

1. A Public Life: This is the side of themselves that people present at work, church, civic arenas, and other public contexts. This is how people are generally seen in their daily life outside the home.

As writers, we are in control. Like Márquez, we get to choose the stories that will be part of the essay, the memoir, the interview—the public self.

And we get to choose the stories that will never be told—that will remain part of our secret life.

Isn’t that freeing? You get to write, and you get to choose.

My primary newsletter is my coaching newsletter. It’s how I show up in your inbox to support your writing goals and encourage you on your writing journey. I share as much as possible to help you make progress.

You may have noticed I share very few personal stories. I guess I default to keeping a lot of my life out of the public eye.

To explore that, I decided to launch a side project on Substack that I’m calling Story Hatchery.

The premise?

We can outwit AI and learn more about ourselves by capturing and crafting our stories. We need a safe place to do that, a haven for storytelling.

That’s Story Hatchery.

I’ll be writing my own stories, using prompts I’ll share with you.

You’ll get a peek at my writing process, including drafts leading up to a final version.

I’ll pass along storytelling wisdom from people who inspire me.

Follow Story Hatchery to enjoy a more personal side of Ann Kroeker as we practice finding and writing our stories.

I hope I don’t overshare, but at least I have a way to decide.

• Subscribe to Story Hatchery

1. Shakespeare, Nicholas. “The Secret Muse of Gabriel García Márquez.” Newsweek, Newsweek, 11 July 2014, www.newsweek.com/2014/07/18/secret-muse-gabriel-garcia-marquez-260433.html. Accessed 31 May 2023.

As writers, we spend countless hours crafting and refining our work to perfection. We labor over word choices, sentence structure, and the perfect flow.

Despite our best efforts—even after a pass through Grammarly—typos slip through. We tend to spot them in other people’s projects, even if we miss them in our own.

How do you react when you spot a typo in someone else’s writing? Do you assume they’re unprofessional and lose faith in them?

Or do you extend grace and understand that mistakes happen?

One time I spoke with a professional in the creative space who said if she sees a typo, it’s an automatic unsubscribe.

“Seriously?” I exclaimed. “You don’t even give them three strikes?”

“No, that’s it. I unsubscribe on the spot.”

I strive toward excellence and aim for perfect prose, but if I’m in a hurry or make a last-minute change, I miss details. I’m sure you’ve noticed them in blog posts and emails.

“Well,” I told her, “I suppose you aren’t on my list, because I send out notes with errors sometimes.”

She shrugged. That’s her rule and she stands by it.

Part of me respected the high standard she set.

The other part of me craved grace for my shortcomings.

As I said, even the most meticulous writers miss typos from time to time. In my rush to click “publish,” I’ll skip a step in the writing and editing process.

For example, I try to allow time to run my emails and blog posts through Grammarly. Then I look at the clock and realize I’m out of time, and I trust my eye to catch any issues.

Sure enough: those are the days a typo slips through.

As a writer striving to produce polished writing, I need to establish a process that slows me down long enough to follow through.

As a reader spotting typos in other people’s work, I hope to offer the same grace I long for from others who spot my mistakes.

One of my online friends is a proofreader, and her discerning eye caught errors on my Everything page. Instead of instantly unsubscribing and unfollowing me, she reached out with a gentle tone and kindly listed each one—it was a gift! She understood that typos are human. Better yet, she offered her expertise to make my work stronger.

When it comes to typos, context matters. Typos in a casual email or social media post aren’t as concerning as typos in a published article or book.

And please don’t judge my writing ability when we’re texting. Between autocorrect and fat fingers, my messages are a mess!

Writing to family and friends is one thing; writing for the public is another. We can take steps to catch embarrassing blips before they’re released to the world wide web.

Proofreading is crucial to the writing process and ensures polished work.

The first place to notice issues is when you’re writing. Microsoft Word, Apple Pages, and Google Docs all track grammar and spelling issues with squiggly lines.

After revisiting what they’ve marked and making any changes, you can run your final draft through a program like:

• Grammarly

Then read it aloud. Vocalizing each word will catch problems that our mind skips over when reading silently.

For high-stakes projects—queries, pitches, book proposals, manuscripts—consider hiring a human editor and proofreader.

Not every project warrants that much attention. But relying on self-editing means some of our work will miss a letter, word, or phrase. We’ll use “it’s” where we should have used “its” or “your” instead of “you’re.”

Unless you’re asked to edit or proofread someone’s work, overlook their misspellings or misplaced modifiers. Feel pleased you recognized the error—after all, it means you’re developing an editor’s eye and ear. But when we approach typos with grace, we connect with other writers as human beings.

Maybe—maybe—if we know the person well, we can mention that we saw a minor error and want their work to shine. That way, they know we value the person behind the writing, not just the words on the page.

That’s how I felt when my online friend reached out. The way she emailed me, I could tell she wasn’t scolding or shaming me—she was supporting me.

We can offer ourselves grace, as well, when we realize we sent out our writing with a glaring mistake. Don’t beat yourself up or see yourself as a failure.

You’re an active writer, daring to share your work with the world.

The only way to avoid public typos altogether is to never click “publish.”

Let’s strive for clean, quality prose while extending grace to others—and ourselves—when an error slips through.

Instead of seeing it as a black mark on their record, view it as a reminder that a real person sits on the other side of the screen. Yes, that fallible writer is a real human being, writing her heart out.

• Tips on Self-Editing from The Artful Edit

Now through June 30, 2023, email subscribers enjoy a special offer to join Your Platform Matters (YPM) for half off the first month (that’s only $6!). We’re thrilled to host a special training on June 13 led by Becky Beresford called How to Run a Killer Giveaway.

Head over to annkroeker.com/connect to subscribe to my coaching emails—your discount code will be in the p.s. of your welcome note. If you’re already a subscriber, check your inbox (or Promotions tab) for the email sent May 18, 2023 (your code is in the p.s.).

Years ago, one of my clients updated me on her publishing journey. She turned in her manuscript on deadline, so that was a huge relief.

Then her editor asked for one last piece she’d put off.

“Ann, it took me two full weeks to track down everything for my endnotes. Two weeks!”

This first-time author knew the editor would ask for endnotes, but she had not kept track of them as she wrote.

When words were flowing—forming chapters, shaping ideas—she didn’t want to lose momentum fiddling around with citations. So she decided to focus solely on the writing, trusting those endnotes would be easy to put together later.

After all, most of the books she mentioned in her text were stacked next to her, ready to access after submitting her manuscript. She could find the direct quotes online again in a few clicks, right?

“Please, Ann,” she said, “I’m begging you to tell all your clients to document their sources along the way. Waiting until the end was a nightmare.”

I’ve tried to convince the authors I coach to do just that: document all sources along the way.

More specifically, I recommend they create a citation at the moment they mention it in their draft. Or at the latest, create it before stepping away from that writing session. You think you’ll come back to it the next morning, but it’s easy to push it off until later…and later…and later.

Then your editor calls and you have to pull them together to submit a few days later.

It’s a pain to track these bits of information.

Author Joanna Russ writes, “I once asked a young dissertation writer whether her suddenly grayed hair was due to ill-health or personal tragedy; she answered It was the footnotes” (Russ, 137).

It’s tempting for authors to think of citations as a necessary evil, aging us, plaguing us.

But in reality they’re a gift to our readers. They can dig deeper into the topic we introduce by visiting the websites, books, and podcasts we mention.

Citations are also a gift to us.

Heaven knows we want to avoid accusations of plagiarism, adhere to copyright laws, and make good faith efforts to track down the origin of a quote or statistic.

I’m not a lawyer and can’t give legal advice, but giving credit where credit is due is a step in the right direction.

A good start is to include attribution for:

• direct quotes

Create citations for any source: physical books, Kindle books, websites, interviews, podcasts, seminars, conferences, and more.

In doing so, you demonstrate you’re joining—even contributing to—the broader conversation on this topic.

You may associate footnotes and endnotes with books and scholarly writing, but I hope you’ll join me in citing sources in your digital writing, as well: in blog posts, articles—even social media posts.

In years past, bloggers have generally taken a simpler approach, relying on linked text to credit sources. This minimized reader disruption and saved time.

Parenthetical citation or cumbersome in-text mentions with signal text slow the flow. You can see an example where I wrote “Author Joanna Russ writes…”

That phrasing signaled a source. Did it slow you down? Did it bother you?

Bloggers have generally viewed that style as clunky. Footnoting blog posts seemed over the top.

I myself used to think it was over the top. In the early days of blogging no one else was adding footnotes, so I didn’t bother.

Until 2012, when I taught high school students a session about plagiarism. The more I prepared for the session, the more I realized I wasn’t following citation best practices in my own writing.

I wrote about it on my blog, vowing to do better.

In the comments of that post, readers chimed in with a wide range of reactions. Some applauded footnoting even in blog posts (especially teachers).

Others believed it would slow them down too much—they might not publish as often.

Still others saw my reasoning but felt footnotes or inline citations would disrupt the reader’s experience. In their opinion, the ease of hyperlinking text sufficed.

They leaned on leaving footnoting to the academics. Besides, newspapers and magazines follow AP Style, which doesn’t require footnotes. Why should a blogger bother with it?

When I started adding footnotes, the inconvenience did slow me down, just as those bloggers predicted. I regretted my vow. I backslid and returned to hyperlinking text to online sources.

A recently installed plugin has been alerting me to broken links on my website, and I’m realizing links alone aren’t enough for proper attribution.

Over time, websites delete pages or close down altogether. New companies buy expired domains and publish unrelated content. Those links lead to a 404 page.

If I’d footnoted those articles, I could have preserved the source and demonstrated due diligence even if the actual link eventually turned into a dead end.

Now I’m returning to old articles and blog posts, seeing sentences like, “As I found in this article and this blog post, families are slowing down and…” The words “this” link out to articles that were live at the time of the writing but are unavailable today.

Thankfully the Internet Wayback Machine helps me locate the original sources to figure out what it said. From that information I can generate an alternative link and create a footnote.

But what a hassle!

I feel like my client who lost two weeks of her life tracking down endnotes for her book.

I feel like the suddenly grayed dissertation writer who told Joanna Russ It was the footnotes.

If only I had created citations as I published those pieces, I would have saved myself so much time and trouble.

And I would have given readers who stumble on the piece a decade later easy ways to dig into the topic.

When I see others cite their sources, I view them as more credible because they reveal the writers on whose shoulders they stand.

Readers see us as more credible and ethical, too, when we clearly point to our sources.

While inconsistent, I’m trying to improve. By including my sources, my readers can trace back to the writers on whose shoulders I stand.

Whether you’re an author drafting your manuscript or a blogger writing weekly posts, I hope you’ll consider citing sources as a new best practice.

Don’t worry about doing it perfectly or updating years of existing posts. Just start with your next post and use apps that generate citations with the click of a button.

When you build it into your workflow, you’ll see it’s not such a hassle…and I hope you’ll find, in time, that it’s worth the effort.

Not used to documenting sources and creating citations? You may wonder thing like:

What’s “fair use”?

What’s “common knowledge”?

How do I know when an idea is emerging from personal knowledge after years of living, reading, and learning, and when the idea should be credited to someone else?

What’s the difference between inline, in-text, and parenthetical citations?

When do I footnote and when do I create endnotes—and do I need one of those Works Cited pages I created in high school English class?

Do I use MLA, APA, or Chicago Manual of Style formatting?

Learn a little bit each time you write. In time, you’ll feel more knowledgeable and confident.

And you can simplify the process using citation tools. Test some of these:

• EasyBib

​Cite sources to serve your readers today—and yourself in the future.

If you plan to write a nonfiction book, you’ll probably search your blog posts and maybe even Instagram captions for stories, quotes, and ideas to include in that book.

Trust me, you’ll be so grateful for those footnotes!

Russ, Joanna. How to Suppress Women’s Writing. Univ. of Texas Press, 2005. (137)

Consider a lowly stick, memorialized by my friend:

Little Y StickFragile, knobby crossroads in my fingersBring me eyes to see how God is in my midst.1

​Jennifer Dukes Lee penned that poem after we chatted about a prompt found in poemcrazy, by Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge.

In Chapter 31, Susan instructs us to find something in nature that attracts our attention. Maybe the object has a quality that we’re attracted to, or maybe it’s just speaking to us in some way.2

Jennifer pondered the little Y stick and used Susan’s prompt to craft that small poem.

I decided to try Susan’s prompt myself.

Following Susan’s instructions, I found objects in the yard that attracted my attention. One was a pinecone.

First, we name it. Name it by its actual name, like a pine cone, or make up a name, like “tree cigar.”

Susan says you could call a mushroom “white sticky,” for example, or “plump cloud.” Or you could use its actual name, “mushroom.”3

Next, describe some of its qualities using descriptive language or by comparing it with something else.

Finally, you have a line that starts, “Bring me your…” and finish with a quality that this item has.4

As with any creative venture or poem, you get to make it your own. You can leave off the “bring me” part or expand on its name or its description.

Here’s an example in Susan’s book from a seventh grader:

Dead rose,crinkly as paper,bring me love.5

This exercise taps attentiveness and imagination to make connections and explore our yearnings.

Let’s look at Susan’s example using a mushroom:

Honey mushroomfloating in grass like a plump cloud,bring me your love of dark places.6

After spending time with the object, the final template is:

• Name (real or made up)

Now that you know the template, look at Jennifer’s again:

Little Y StickFragile, knobby crossroads in my fingersBring me eyes to see how God is in my midst.

In my yard, we have to deal with the seeds of two Sweetgum trees—long-stemmed spiky orbs.

Approximately five million of these “Sweetgum balls,” as we call them, coat our front yard year round. You could spend hours filling three giant trash bins only to look up and see a thousand more dangling from the branches above, poised to drop during the next thunderstorm that blows through.

Despite the trouble they cause me, I spent time with one of them, staying open to what it might offer me:

Spiky orb, one of hundreds, maybe thousands,fragile, persistent, overwhelming:bring me your abundance.

We also deal with an outrageous number of pinecones that fall from two fir trees.

I found a pinecone that was still closed, which happens when it’s cold outside. As the temperature heats up, the pinecone opens to release its seeds.

Smooth pine cone, waiting to warm, waiting to share yourself—hatches shut tight against the cold,protecting yourself, soon to unlatch—bring me your care and caution,knowing the time to stay guarded and safe,and knowing the time to open oneself,to be fully seen.

Try this prompt yourself and share your poem with me.

I can’t wait to read what you come up with.

__________________

Get the direction you need to improve as a writer with The Art & Craft of Writing.

In this eight-week intensive, I’ll help you elevate your writing skills and create a compelling piece you’ll be proud to show an editor or agent. By the end of our time together, you’ll have completed a 3,000-word piece, along with multiple short submissions that invite you to experiment and play with new techniques.

1. Dukes Lee, Jennifer. Prayer labyrinth story with a Y stick image and poem. Instagram, 17 Mar. 2023. https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp5KAwgLAR-/. Accessed 1 Apr 2023.

Gain inspiration from the journey of a first-time author who transformed her dream of writing into a reality by taking bold action. Merideth Hite Estevez’s success story involved launching a captivating podcast and partnering with a coach (yep, that’s me!) to develop a winning strategy.

Her talent and tenacity helped her build a robust platform, create a winning book proposal, secure an agent, and land a publishing deal in just a few years. Although she felt like it took an eternity, that’s fast.

Follow her story and be inspired to pursue your own writing dreams with confidence!

• Here’s the program Merideth mentions in the video (we worked together to complete her proposal and set her up for success): https://annkroeker.com/yourcompellingbookproposal/

(Transcripts are reviewed and lightly edited.)

Ann Kroeker

I’m Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach. If you’re tuning in for the first time, welcome. If you’re a regular, welcome back. I’m sharing my best skills and strategies to help writers improve craft, pursue publishing, and achieve their writing goals. On today’s show, you’re going to get a glimpse of a first time author’s journey from idea to a signed contract with a publisher.

Even better, she’s a creative coach herself, so it’s like you’re getting two coaches for one.

You’re going to love meeting Dr. Merideth Hite Estevez.

Dr. Merideth Hite Estevez is a spiritual space-maker for artists as an oboist, writer, coach, and educator. Her podcast Artists for Joy was an Award of Excellence Winner in the 2022 Communicator Awards and is in the top 2% of podcasts worldwide.

She has served thousands of artists in communal creative recovery with her popular support groups around Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way and serves artists of all disciplines through her writings, workshops, and one-to-one coaching services. She holds degrees in oboe from The Juilliard School and Yale University and is a Certified Start with Heart Facilitator through Graydin.

As a trained coach, she runs a thriving business helping creatives of all disciplines looking for a more joyful life. Merideth has performed with top orchestras in the US and abroad, including the MET Opera and PhillyPops and is currently the English hornist/Second Oboe of the Chamber Orchestra of NY. She has served on faculties of numerous universities and schools of music, most recently as Associate Professor of Oboe at University of Delaware.

When she’s not creating or teaching, you’ll find her attempting to speak foreign languages with a southern accent while traveling with her husband Rev. Edwin Estevez, daughter Eva, and son Eli. Her first book, an inspirational guide to the creative life, is forthcoming in 2024.

Merideth, welcome. We’re so glad you’re here.

[00:02:03] – Merideth Hite Estevez

Hi, Ann. Thanks for having me.

[00:02:04] – Ann Kroeker

Now, that’s an impressive bio. I’m amazed at all of the things you juggle, and in the middle of it all, you managed to land a contract to write a book.

And I would love it if you could give people a simple summary of this crazy journey you’ve been on. Can you just summarize it? And then we can go into detail of what that looked like.

[00:02:26.780] – Merideth Hite Estevez

Absolutely. Yeah. It feels like a really, really long journey.

Like many of the people listening to this, I have been writing all my life. My mother was my elementary school librarian. And so writing was something that always was around. I took a lot of creative writing classes in college. But as you heard from my bio, I always had a beeline on being a professional oboist. All my concentration and focus was on music. And so I didn’t really believe that I could be a writer.

I got through college and got married and started having kids and really, especially during the pandemic, felt this new found rumbling that I needed to write. And I really felt like artists needed support, especially in that moment during the pandemic when everything shut down.

I had written a small blog that nobody really read, but I had developed a little bit of a writing routine before 2020. But I remember sometime in April of 2020, I bought a microphone and I started podcasting, and it was really writing for the podcast that began my drive and started to become a reality that I wanted to write a book.

[00:03:36] – Merideth Hite Estevez

And so what I did was realized that I needed a coach and I needed support. I needed somebody to tell me because I felt so equipped in the world of music, but I knew that there was “insider information,” quote unquote,” that I needed to know to get it traditionally published.

And so I found you, thank God.

And I just looked back through my emails and it was February of 2021 that I signed up finally after hesitating at my keyboard for months and months to sign up for coaching and to purchase one of your courses on how to write a non-fiction book proposal.

After that I realized that I needed to focus on having a baby, because a few months later I had my son. And that’s when I was like, “Ann, I need to pause, because I need to have a baby.”

So I had a baby and all during my maternity leave, I was really thinking about the book and the thoughts about what it would be about were just sitting there while I was feeding him and up all night.

Fast forward, a couple more months after maternity leave, I jumped back on the coaching wagon.

[00:04:39] – Merideth Hite Estevez

I went through your course, your compelling book proposal, which walked me through step by step, exactly what to do.

We worked on the proposal. And that spring I started pitching to literary agents.

And an amazing thing happened. All during that time, I was continuing to produce my weekly podcast. And I had a listener reach out because I finally admitted to my podcast audience that I wanted to write a book, and a couple of weeks later, one of my listeners wrote to me and said, “Hey, my husband works at one of the big five publishers. Would you like some guidance on your book proposal?”

And I was like, “The more guidance, the better.”

So that just goes to show that yes, writing a book proposal and finding the right teammates is really important, but it’s also important to keep writing and to publish something weekly because that person helped me.

I had my book proposal ready, thanks to you. I sent a draft to that guy and he gave me some tips and he gave me some names of some people and it helped open a door or two.

And I found a literary agent that summer, in August of 2022.

[00:05:52] – Merideth Hite Estevez

And then we decided to grow my platform a little more over the summer. And I put a lot of effort toward social media, and then we decided to pitch. The proposal was ready and we decided to pitch in October of 2022.

And then, oh man. Everything slows way down at that point, at least in my opinion, because you send the emails and you’re sitting there waiting for them to tell you yes or no.

And some people said no—many people said no—and a few people said yes. And so my agent and I have been in the process of going through the offers. We had multiple offers, incredibly, and we’ve been going through them. And then by the time this interview goes live, I will have signed the contract and I’ll be crazily writing the first manuscript. So, yeah, that’s it.

[00:06:41] – Ann Kroeker

That’s an incredible timeline. I know you said things slow way down, but what you just described…let’s just go back, you said 2020 was that spark of, “I think I want to write.” And you had the idea for the book, but it sounded like, I just want to get my words out. And that’s when you got going with the blog and then the podcast, right? Am I remembering right? It was in 2020. I mean, that’s really not that long.

[00:07:03] – Merideth Hite Estevez

Well, the blog I started in 2017, but it was like a slow burn. And it literally was like some weeks I would write. In 2020 was when I really started weekly producing something online.

[00:07:16] – Ann Kroeker

Okay, so that’s interesting to me and I think to anybody tuning in: you committed with the dream—would you say it was a dream or a goal at that point in 2020 when you started showing up every week?

[00:07:30] – Merideth Hite Estevez

I think it was a dream, but I knew enough about the publishing industry to know that I needed a lot more of an “audience” to prove that I could sell my book. I knew enough to be dangerous because if you listen to any interviews, they’ll be like, “You need 100,000 followers.” And so it felt like a dream instead of a goal because I was like, “How am I ever going to get there?” And by the way, I’m not there yet.

[00:07:54] – Ann Kroeker

And I think it’s important for people to know that you did all this. You got this. And you got it with not these wild numbers. But you did work at it and grew the numbers.

[00:08:06] – Merideth Hite Estevez

Sure. Absolutely. Yeah. The growth.

Many people...

Today we’re exploring a topic that every writer is going to want to tune in and learn about: a trauma-informed approach to writing.

To speak to that, I’ve invited Michelle Stiffler on the show to help us see how trauma-informed writing can transform both us and our words.

This is one of the longest interviews I’ve published, but I believe it’s one of the most important.

Let’s get right to it.

Michelle Stiffler is a certified trauma specialist, trauma-informed trainer, and co-host of Arizona’s Trauma-Informed Faith Community podcast. Eight years of nonprofit work shaped her trauma understanding, and during this time she created the trauma-informed culture and processes for Arizona’s first trauma-informed faith-based organization.

Michelle is a married mother of four, plus two sons in law and a proud Mimi. She’s on the board of the Redbud Writers Guild, and her work has been published with Fathom, (in)courage, Guideposts and others, as well as the Women’s Devotional Bible in The Message, Michelle writes at OneMoreTruth.com.

Enjoy the interview in video format, audio, or read a lightly edited transcript below:

[00:01:17.520] – Ann Kroeker

On this topic of trauma-informed writing, and being a trauma-informed writer, should we be offering a trigger warning for anybody who’s tuning in?

[00:01:28.000] – Michelle Stiffler

I always like to offer a trigger warning simply because the word trauma itself, even if it’s paired with the word informed, sometimes just the word trauma can do something inside our bodies where we kind of tighten. We start to think about what trauma might be.

So I would just give that warning so that people can kind of come into this podcast episode comfortably. We’re not going to dive into anything deep or heavy. We don’t want to burden anybody today, but it just kind of gives you a sense, like, check in with yourself. If you’re tight, if you’re thinking about things that are uncomfortable, just be free. It’s going to be a safe conversation.

[00:02:07.050] – Ann Kroeker

I love that invitation, your sensitivity and your empathy. Thank you for helping them feel comfortable.

I understand that there’s this increasing awareness of trauma-informed anything and everything, and at the same time, I’m not that personally informed myself. So I’m probably going to ask you some really basic questions, Michelle.

And I’m thinking about my audience, too. There may be people who are deeply involved in this whole movement or idea, but if a writer is hearing about this for the first time, can you define what is trauma-informed writing and what is a trauma-informed writer?

[00:02:46.890] – Michelle Stiffler

For our purposes today, trauma-informed writing is defining an approach for writing.

When I come to my computer or when I come to the page and I intend on making my writing public, I’m coming with the lens that reminds me that trauma is very prevalent and that people broadly have experienced all kinds of adversity.

It could be little “t” trauma. It could be big “T” trauma. And I want to come to the keyboard thinking about how I can best serve people if they’re going through something hard or if they haven’t yet resolved something hard.

I don’t want to burden anybody with too many details, and I want to be able to provide even just one step further in healing or in some sense of wholeness.

That’s what trauma-informed writing would be.

A trauma-informed writer is basically saying that they live by the principles that the trauma-informed movement has in place. There are six of them. Those principles are:

• Safety

As a person, I want to be a safe person and we can get into this a little bit further later. I want to be somebody who’s trustworthy and transparent. I think transparent is sometimes an ambiguous word in the sense that we think vulnerability means.

[00:04:06.590] – Michelle Stiffler

I just share all my details. Transparency is just letting people know where things might go and it’s like, “Hey, you can trust me.” Like we said in the beginning, “I’m not going to burden you with too many details.” There’s a sense of support from that writer.

There’s a collaboration and mutuality that looks a little bit different when it comes to writing because writing is so solitary. I may not ever meet the people who read my writing, but I do want to come to the keyboard with a sense of, “Hey, we’re all humans. We all understand the human condition from our own experience. And I’m with you in that.”

There’s a sense of camaraderie, there’s empowerment. We always want to empower our readers to feel like they know what to do next. Not coming at them as if like, “Oh, you poor soul, you don’t know anything,” or “You’ve experienced this terrible tragedy.” It’s more like, “Let’s look at the strengths in this.”

And then also—and this one was recently added by the CDC in the past couple of years—but coming in our writing with a sense of sensitivity for different cultures, historical trauma, gender issues. Just being aware of how we use our words and our language so that it doesn’t feel exclusive or hateful.

There’s always a sense of compassion for people of all walks of life.

[00:05:27.480] – Ann Kroeker

This sounds vitally important for every writer because it sounds like, from what I’m hearing, all of this is focused on the reader and the effect on the reader, which I was kind of imagining. It was more about the writer and the writer’s trauma. Can you distinguish?

Michelle Stiffler

The trauma-informed is speaking to how we are addressing the reader and empowering the reader and all those eight incredible pillars of this principles.

[00:06:09.830] – Michelle Stiffler

I think writing about trauma is very different from anything that we could call trauma-informed.

A lot of us have become writers because we experienced something that was difficult or we had to wrestle with something that, even if it’s parenting, it was like, “Oh my goodness, this is challenging. And I think I need to figure out how to process some of these things that I’m going through.”

So we can certainly write about trauma, and that may have nothing to do with being trauma-informed.

If I’m a trauma-informed writer writing about my own trauma, then I am coming with those six principles and I am being more careful about the details that I share. So it’s not what I’m writing about necessarily, it’s how I’m writing about it, which I think is necessary for all writers, regardless of the topic, we always want to know how we’re writing about it.

And I think there are two parts. If I am thinking about my reader because I’m a trauma-informed writer, then there’s a lot of dealing with myself that I have to do before I ever come to write a single word. Or rather, there’s a lot I have to do before I ever publish a single word, before I ever hit that submit button.

[00:07:20.430] – Michelle Stiffler

The work is always going to be inward so that what we offer people outwardly is helpful and beneficial.

There’s a lot of personal work, so they kind of go together. We are thinking about the reader, but the only reason we’re able to is because we’ve also dealt with some of our own things.

That’s not to say it’s tidy, finished, completely resolved. We’re never going to get there. So we can get past that idea of perfect, but it means that we’ve at least put in some of the work to make sure that we’re coming from a place of fullness.

I think even at some of the most empty times in my life, there’s still a way to go about living with a kind of fullness that people can understand. Even if you’re still in the middle of it, even if it still feels dark, even if you’re waiting on that clarity about what to do next, we can still live from that place of fullness.

[00:08:15.370] – Ann Kroeker

Just to kind of drive this home or make it super clear, what I’m hearing is basically every writer will want to become a trauma-informed writer because of the principles that are going to open us up to using language in a way that respects the reader and addresses these principles.

But at the same time, there may be some people, some writers, who are tuning in today, and they are someone who does directly also write from and possibly about their own personal trauma with a capital T or small t. Am I hearing you right?

[00:08:54.960] – Michelle Stiffler

Yes. And before you would ever come into any kind of writing and want to say, “I’m a trauma-informed writer,” I would advise anybody to really think about what that means for you.

Give it a year of really living that way. Set up some disciplines for yourself so that you are coming into your writing from a place of your own fullness sense of healing. Like you’ve worked through the content of your life enough to share it.

I would say it’s not something like, “Oh, I listened to the podcast. Now I’m a trauma-informed writer because I understand it.” It’s an investment in a lifestyle. Anybody involved in the trauma-informed movement has committed to a lifestyle of caring for themselves so that they can be compassionate towards others.

So, yeah, write about your trauma. B...

I hosted a virtual Christmas party in my membership program, Your Platform Matters (YPM).

At the party I encouraged a writing exercise: Christmas Reflections.

I asked these writers to close their eyes and go back in time to a warm and wonderful Christmas memory from their childhood.

Rather than trying to capture a big, sprawling scene, I asked them to zero in on a detail. Using the one-inch frame Anne Lamont talks about in Bird by Bird, they narrowed their focus to a detail that they could see, smell, taste, touch, or hear.

We captured those multi-sensory, concrete, specific details in words and phrases, dropping them in the Zoom chat.

What a quiet, creative gift it was to share those memories with each other, to go back in time, to reflect…to write.

After the party sendoff, I assembled the snapshot memories (with their permission) to create a free verse poem:

Popcorn captured on strings strung on the tree,Mom, sis, and I around kitchen table, molding memories out of salt dough ornaments.Snowed in with guests,ice skating on the road,fluffy snowflakes falling on faces,magic in the night sky.

Carols around the old upright piano—the twinkle in his eye bounced off his rosy cheeks as hisfamily sang the familiar tune.Pinecandlelightblack hairsparkling crystal necklacegreen silkreaching and hitting the high notes.

Candles glimmered in hands lighting evening darkness.The lonely ceramic clown tucked in the Nativity scene—family humor nestled amidst the holy.I bend pipe cleaner arms around tree branch—the hand-crafted felt mouse smiles back at me.In the midst of the darknesswe sat in the puddle of light from the tree.

Wrapping paper rustling in the night.Excited anticipation waiting at the top of the stairs,kitchen breakfast smells wafting up to us:bacon, sausage, cinnamon buns.We tiptoed down the stairs,our slippers silencing our steps.Cookies set out for Santa—only crumbs in the morning.Fireplace crackling—Santa’s in the kitchen!Afraid of men with beards, I was assured thatSanta Claus was gone.

Shiny blue bicycle.Silver blue-tinted ball ornament.The young girl looking back at methrough the ornament’s reflectionwas full of joyful smiles.Surrounded by the rapidly torn wrapping paper—utter delight.My fingers swiftly undid the twist tiesso I could stroke the loop braidsof my doll come to life from my favorite books.

Are we there yet? rang from the backseat.Grandma’s house full of warm laughter.Wrapped in blankets on the floorplaying the Authors card gameand Monopoly—the world was clear and bright.

Take a moment to try this yourself.

Close your eyes and capture that one-inch square of a warm and wonderful Christmas memory from your childhood.

Share it in the comments below. I want to go back in time with you to see, smell, and hear your Christmas reflection.

We so enjoyed the magic of creating this in community. I hope you find your writing community, as well. You’re always welcome to be part of Your Platform Matters!

Merry Christmas from the writers of YPM—and from me!

________________________________

Get the direction you need to improve as a writer with The Art & Craft of Writing.

Now enrolling cohorts that launch Jan 9, 2023.

In this eight-week intensive, I’ll help you elevate your writing skills and create a compelling piece you’ll be proud to show an editor or agent. By the end of our time together, you’ll have completed a 3,000-word piece, along with multiple short submissions that invite you to experiment and play with new techniques.

AI writing apps, programs, and tools are all over the news. People are reacting. They’re writing articles and opinion pieces, they’re recording podcasts, they’re discussing it in Twitter threads.

Some say don’t worry, AI writing tools can’t write like humans. Others claim this is an inkling of what’s ahead—they’re going to surpass our skills.

You’ll find articles suggesting we sign up and use the tech as a free writing assistant to help with researching, drafting, and writer’s block.

Of course there are those imagining worst case scenarios, but it’s not all gloom and doom. In fact, for a glimpse of what’s possible now, check out my “interview” with an AI writing app that’s making the headlines: ChatGPT.

The first thing I asked:

Here’s what ChatGPT wrote in response:

While AI writing tools like ChatGPT can be helpful for generating ideas or suggesting potential phrasings, they should not be seen as a replacement for learning the craft of writing. AI writing tools are limited by their programming, and they are not able to fully understand or replicate the creativity and nuance of human writing.

What do you think? It’s pretty good, isn’t it?

Let’s continue. My questions are bold.

ChatGPT: There are many ways that writers can learn the craft of writing, including:

• Reading widely and critically to develop an understanding of different styles and techniques

ChatGPT: It ultimately depends on the context and purpose of the writing. Writing conversationally can be effective for making the text more relatable and engaging for the reader, while incorporating literary techniques can add depth and complexity to the writing. In general, it is important for writers to consider their audience and their goals when deciding how to approach their writing.

ChatGPT: A conversational writing style is often preferred by readers who are looking for a more relatable and accessible text. This style can make the writing feel more personal and engaging, and can help to establish a connection with the reader. It is often used in informal writing, such as in blog posts or social media posts, where the goal is to engage the reader and invite them to participate in a conversation.

ChatGPT: A literary style of writing is often preferred by readers who are looking for a more complex and sophisticated text. This style typically incorporates literary techniques such as figurative language, symbolism, and other devices to add depth and complexity to the writing. It is often used in formal or academic writing, where the goal is to convey complex ideas or to engage the reader on a deeper level.

ChatGPT: Some things that a writer can add to their writing to make it stand out compared to AI-generated text include:

• A unique and personal voice that reflects the writer’s own experiences and perspective

(I kind of liked the answer and I wanted to see what else it might recommend, so tried to phrase the follow-up question to make it expand.)

ChatGPT: Some additional things that a writer can add to their writing to make it stand out compared to AI-generated text include:

• Complex and nuanced characters that have depth and individuality

ChatGPT: For nonfiction writers, the “craft” of writing refers to the skills and techniques used to effectively communicate information and ideas. Nonfiction writing can take many different forms, such as journalism, academic writing, technical writing, and more. In all of these cases, the writer must be able to clearly and accurately convey information and ideas, while also engaging and interesting the reader.

ChatGPT: The phrase “the art of writing” refers to the creative and expressive aspects of writing. It encompasses not only the technical skills and techniques used in writing, but also the ability to use language in a way that is imaginative, evocative, and unique. In this sense, writing is seen as a form of art, in which the writer uses words to create something that is beautiful, moving, or thought-provoking.

ChatGBT: If AI writing apps were able to author novels, it could potentially revolutionize the publishing industry. AI tools could potentially generate novel-length works at a much faster rate than human writers, and they could potentially do so without experiencing writer’s block or other common challenges that human writers face. However, there are also concerns that the widespread use of AI for writing could lead to a loss of diversity and individuality in literature, as AI-generated works may lack the creativity and uniqueness of human-authored works. It is difficult to predict exactly how the use of AI for novel-writing would play out, but it is likely that it would have both positive and negative impacts on the publishing industry.

ChatGPT: It is possible for AI writing tools to generate nonfiction content, but it is unlikely that they would be able to produce a full-length nonfiction book at this time. AI tools are limited by their programming, and they are not able to fully understand or replicate the complexity and nuance of human writing. While they may be able to generate short pieces of nonfiction content, such as news articles or product descriptions, it is currently beyond their capabilities to write a book-length work of nonfiction that covers a specific topic in depth.

ChatGPT: It is difficult to predict exactly when AI writing tools will surpass human writing techniques, if they ever do. While AI technology continues to advance at a rapid pace, there are many challenges and limitations to using AI for writing. One major challenge is that AI tools are not able to fully understand or replicate the creativity and nuance of human writing, which are essential components of good writing. Additionally, AI tools are limited by their programming, and they may not be able to adapt to new situations or changing contexts in the same way that human writers can. For these reasons, it is difficult to predict when, or if, AI writing tools will surpass human writing techniques.

ChatGPT: No, that was not the intention of my previous answer. My answer was intended to provide information about the current state of AI writing tools and their limitations, as well as to discuss some of the challenges and uncertainties surrounding their potential future development. I am a large language model trained by OpenAI, and I do not have the ability to make predictions or assumptions about the future. My purpose is to provide accurate and helpful information based on the knowledge that I have been trained on.

(It got a little creepy when ChatGPT started using first person pronouns.)

ChatGPT: If you are looking to become a better writer, there are several steps that you can take over the next year to improve your skills and develop your craft. Some suggestions include:

• Read widely and critically to expose yourself to different styles and techniques

People wonder about Stephen King’s pencil. Writers (including me) want to know what writing instrument he uses.

Why?

Maybe we all harbor a secret hope that if we get the same pencil as Stephen King, we’ll end up as prolific and successful as Stephen King.

Or if we discover what Annie Dillard writes with, we’ll produce the same type of literary prose as Annie Dillard.

Or if we use the same writing program as, well…fill in whatever writer you admire. If you use the same pencil, pen, writing program, or paper as your favorite writer, do you imagine you’re becoming a little bit more like them?

I poked around, and it sounds like King’s favorite pencil is the classic Blackwing 602, favored by such luminaries as John Steinbeck, Vladimir Nabokov, and Truman Capote.1

But while researching Stephen King’s pencil, I realized I wanted to hear from you—real writers at work.

Through social media, my newsletter, and a coaching call in my writing community, I asked:

What’s your favorite writing instrument?

And you told me.

I found out:

• There’s no one perfect pen for all writers.

Everyone’s simply using what they love.

People seem evenly split between pens and pencils, and some weren’t picky at all. Any old ballpoint pen was fine with them, even the kind they swipe from one of the businesses they frequent.

Others were more precise on brand, color, and tip, preferring fine, medium, or thick.

Curious to hear what these real writers use to do the work?

Let’s dive into the pens.

Ballpoint pens are at the top with BIC. Yes, that common brand is a favorite option. They’re easily found, they’re really cheap, and they come in fun colors. And a lot of people prefer one particular color, like blue, or one particular tip, like fine point.

Coming up right after BIC is the PILOT brand. The PILOT Precise V5 seems to be the favorite.

Good gel pens are adored by a lot of people (and hated by a few).

TUL pens are also coming in hot with a lot of writers who are addicted to them. I also heard from writers who love Paper Mate InkJoy, Sharpies, and Flair pens, as well as a couple of fountain pen users.

If you’re curious, when I grab a pen, I like the Pentel RSVP pen in black, fine point. They’re easily found and affordable, kind of like the classic BIC ballpoint.

As for pencils, well, again, BIC comes in strong with their mechanical pencils that a lot of people mentioned.

Others love mechanical pencils in general and aren’t particular about brands.

The Blackwing 602 is used by a few people who tracked it down and love it.

And a lot of people said they don’t have a preference—they’ll snatch any pencil within reach and start writing.

More specifically, I did hear about Paper Mate’s Mirado Black Warrior. A writer heard it recommended by author Daniel Silva and had trouble finding it, but once she did, reported that it’s excellent.

Someone mentioned they love writing with graphing pencils.

Whether they’re using a pen or a pencil, people are writing in all kinds of notebooks, and a few people love the freedom of writing on scrap paper with no lines.

Now let’s switch to writing programs.

Microsoft Word and Scrivener are neck and neck.

A lot of writers are using one or the other and sometimes both. After you export a Scrivener document as a Word document—and send it off to your editor—it’s much easier to track changes in Word.

Google Docs shows up as the next most popular option.

A few people use Open Source LibreOffice, and one person mentioned using Final Draft for screenplays.

When it comes to the earlier stage of the writing process—like taking notes and doing research—people are using Evernote, Notion, random index cards, and Post-Its.

And one person mentioned Roam Research, which pulls things together and finds connections between ideas using AI technology.

Finally, a few people are using dictation or transcription.

One person simply speaks into the Notes app; others use Otter.ai.

This has been a delightful discussion and discovery, and the conclusion is loud and clear—it’s the same conclusion John Steinbeck came to years ago.

Steinbeck wrote about his eccentric “pencil trifling.” In Journal of a Novel: The East of Eden Letters, he describes at length his search for the best possible pencil to do his work.

He tries a soft pencil, and that works fine one day and breaks the next. Then he tries a harder one, but that’s not quite right. Eventually he concludes:

You know I am really stupid. For years I have looked for the perfect pencil. I have found very good ones but never the perfect one. And all the time it was not the pencils but me.2

If you’re like me or Steinbeck, or the hundred people who shared with me what they write with, you love to test out pens, pencils, programs, and apps.

Don’t let that curiosity—dare I say, obsession—with pens, pencils, programs, and apps keep you from the actual work of writing.

Do you need Stephen King’s pencil?

I don’t think so, do you?

Feel free to try out a Blackwing 602 pencil—that is, if that’s actually what Stephen King writes with.

(Side note: I can see him telling the world one brand and then using another just to mess with us, can’t you?)

I tried it only to realize I prefer to write with pens and keyboards. But even those tools don’t really matter, because what we’re really writing with are:

• the memories we store up in our mind and heart,

Today, pick up your favorite writing instrument—or any writing instrument—and write 250 words toward your work in progress.

As Steinbeck discovered, it’s not about the writing instrument. It’s about the writer.

As long as we can remember that, we can write everything with anything.

Get the direction you need to improve as a writer with The Art & Craft of Writing.

Now enrolling cohorts that launch Jan 9, 2023.

In this eight-week intensive, I’ll help you elevate your writing skills and create a compelling piece you’ll be proud to show an editor or agent. By the end of our time together, you’ll have completed a 3,000-word piece, along with multiple short submissions that invite you to experiment and play with new techniques.

1. Abramovitch, Seth. “Why Is Hollywood Obsessed with This Pencil?” The Hollywood Reporter, The Hollywood Reporter, 9 Aug. 2013, https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/blackwing-602-why-is-hollywood-600265/.

Bryan Collins relies on a simple system that captures notes and ideas that flow directly into his projects when he sits down to write.

His writing routine doesn’t take all day yet achieves significant results. Find out how he works and test it out.

When you combine that with his simple system for collecting inspiration for all of your writing projects, you’ll be on your way to completing a full manuscript.

Ready to do the work and write the truth?

• Hear how Bryan has “green-lighted” himself

Bryan Collins is a USA Today best-selling author whose books include The Power of Creativity, This Is Working, I Can’t Believe I’m A Dad! and a best-selling series of books for writers.

He was a journalist and copywriter for years and has contributed to publications like Forbes, Lifehacker and Fast Company.

Today he runs his website Become a Writer Today, with the help of a team of writers, attracting several million visitors each year. And he hosts a popular writing podcast by the same name, where he deconstructs the writing processes of New York Times best-selling authors like James Clear and Daniel Pink.

• Become a Writer Today, Bryan’s website

Listen to the interview, or read the transcript below.

This is a lightly edited transcript.

[00:00:00.190] – Ann Kroeker

How would you like to develop a simple writing routine that doesn’t take all day to achieve significant results? And what if you could combine that with a simple system for collecting inspiration for all of your writing projects?

Today I have Bryan Collins of Become A Writer Today on the show, and he is sharing his one-two punch of a system-routine combo that turns out an impressive body of work.

I’m Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach. If you’re tuning in for the first time, welcome. If you’re a regular, welcome back. I’m sharing my best tips and training skills and strategies to coach writers to improve their craft, pursue publishing, and achieve their writing goals.

Bryan Collins is a USA Today best selling author whose books include The Power of Creativity this is Working, I Can’t Believe I’m a dad, and a best selling series of books for writers. He was a journalist and copywriter for years and has contributed to publications like Forbes, LifeHacker and Fast Company. Today he runs his website, Become A Writer Today with the help of a team of writers, attracting several million visitors each year by the same name, where he deconstructs the writing processes of New York Times bestselling authors like James Clear and Daniel Pink.

Let’s hear his practical advice for writers.

Ready to do the work and write the truth?

[00:01:32.770] – Ann Kroeker

Well, we have Bryan Collins on the show today. He is a podcaster and an author and a writer, and I cannot wait to ask him all kinds of really practical questions that we can pass on to listeners today. Bryan, thanks for being on the show.

[00:01:45.590] – Bryan Collins

It’s great to be here. Thanks for having me on.

[00:01:47.450] – Ann Kroeker

Thanks for taking the time. We’re in different time zones and I am excited to hear more.

[00:02:03.090] – Bryan Collins

Sure. So, ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a writer and earn a living from the written word. I was a big fan of Roald Dahl back in the day, children’s author, and I figured the best way to do it was to become a journalist when I became 18 and it was time to pick something to study in college or university.

But I went to journalism college and spent more time going out to parties than I did actually taking notes. And I found it really difficult to find paying work. So I kind of drifted in and out of various freelance writing gigs during my 20s. I’m 40 now, by the way, for some context.

I got really frustrated with writing and I wasn’t a very good journalist, if I’m being honest. So I drifted into other careers that really weren’t suitable for me. But I still want to earn a living from writing, so I took a series of creative writing workshops that made a big impact on me.

I started by writing short stories and then entering short story competitions. I made a few mistakes. I spent a lot of time writing the same short stories rather than getting feedback.

[00:03:05.670] – Bryan Collins

And after about two or three years, I got frustrated with that and I was about to give up on writing altogether. But then I said, I’ll try something else. What if I try blogging and writing about the one thing I do know something about, which is the craft of writing?

So I had a technology blog that wasn’t getting a huge amount of traffic, which taught me the basics of WordPress and writing online. So I transitioned that site to become a writer today.

For a long time it was like a hobby. This is around 2014, so it would have been in my early 30s. For a long time it was a hobby, something I did around the side of a job.

I was surprised, or pleasantly surprised, when it turned into a part-time and then later a full-time business.

And then to give a bit more context, I did find work. I was working as a copywriter for a British software company. So I did get paid to write. And more recently I’ve left that job. I was there for about eight years, so now I’m working on my own business full time.

So that’s an overview of some of the ups and downs of my writing career to date.

[00:04:05.670] – Ann Kroeker

[00:04:13.470] – Bryan Collins

What I do today is I have a site for writers, and I used to write all the articles. Now I commission freelance writers to produce the articles, and then I have a set up a couple of other sites in different niches, or niches, as you say in the United States. I don’t write content for those, but I kind of replicate what works for my site for the other sites.

So I guess the business is a content publishing business and one of my jobs is to edit articles, so I’m using some of the skills I learned along the way in the business.

I self published books, so I was big into self publishing for a few years and I self published a parenting memoir last year, which was my fifth or sixth book.

And then I like podcasting because I get to talk to authors and experts like you. And as any writer or listener can attest to, writing can be quite lonely and isolating; you’re by yourself in a room, which can send you a little bit crazy.

That’s why I podcast. It’s to talk to people and to connect with other writers and share stories or anecdotes about what’s working or not working.

[00:05:19.350] – Ann Kroeker

Thanks for sharing that.

[00:05:32.290] – Bryan Collins

Yeah, like said, it’ll be deciding to write online.

I think anytime during my writing career where I’ve sought permission from somebody, it’s never worked out well.

By seeking permission, I mean going to an editor and asking them to hire me as a reporter. A few editors did hire me and then they let me go. Or going to a writing competition and asking a judge to pick my story over to hundreds or thousands of others who are trying to get a book deal, all of those kind of things.

Whereas any time I pick something that doesn’t involve gatekeepers or permission, such as self publishing—such as writing online or starting a podcast—I’ve always felt more comfortable with it personally, and I’ve had more luck with earning an income from us an...