Anxiety Matters

By Bonnie Zucker & Bonnie ZuckerSociety & Culture Science Health & Fitness Mental Health

Anxiety Matters episodes

August 20 Why Is Asking For Help So Hard? Tips on Managing All Shades of Social Anxiety
This episode focuses on social anxiety in everyday life, including difficulty asking for help, making small requests, and fearing judgment or inconvenience.
The Bonnies talk about exposure exercises for facing these situations, such as asking for samples or interrupting someone to make a request, and explain how these exercises can show that the feared reaction often does not happen.
They also discuss planning for harder outcomes, common forms of avoidance like delaying calls or texts, and encouraging small behavior changes such as saying no, asking for help, and starting difficult tasks sooner.
HIGHLIGHTS:
1:49 Whole Foods Exposure Practice
7:36 Handling Rude Reactions
11:46 Asking for Testimonials
15:48 Everyday Social Anxiety Triggers
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
20 min
August 13 ERP for OCD: Are Extreme Exposures Necessary?
The Bonnies episode on May 28 when BZW visited BZE in Maryland, where they recorded OCD exposure exercises at Whole Foods, was posted on their social media where they received many comments.
This episode covers some of the reactions to those exposures, including concerns about ethics and health risks. In response, the Bonnies explain that exposure and response prevention involves facing ordinary contamination fears and that the goal is not to cause illness but to help people tolerate uncertainty and reduce avoidance.
This episode starts with a hilarious meeting they had recently with their accountant so don't skip ahead!
HIGHLIGHTS:
1:01 The Accountant 'Disaster'
7:15 Eye Exam & Meeting All in One
9:23 Whole Foods Exposures
11:33 Addressing the Ethics
18:05 Expired Food Exposure
19:46 Listener Reactions and Wrap-Up
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
23 min
August 06 Making Peace with ADHD: Hollywood Writer Jordan Roberts Shares About Self-Acceptance
The Bonnies welcome Jordan Roberts, a writer and director with a long career in television and film, who has also built a coaching practice focused on creative blocks, addiction, ADHD, and shadow work.
Jordan describes his background in a show-business family, his struggles as a young person with drugs, alcohol, anxiety, and not feeling good enough, and how early therapy opened a different way of thinking. He talks about pursuing validation through creative work, even after major professional success, and how that left the deeper issue of self-worth unresolved.
They discuss the shift that came for Jordan from shadow work and from recognizing inner parts that had been hidden or rejected. Jordan explains how he began to allow rather than judge vulnerable, ashamed, or fearful parts of himself, including a late diagnosis of ADHD, and how medication and practical tools now support him.
They also talk about anxiety, shame, and the “second arrow” of self-criticism. Jordan describes how meeting his own parts with attention rather than fixing them changed his experience, how this affects his writing now, and how he sees creativity, risk-taking, and emotional honesty as connected to this ongoing work.
HIGHLIGHTS:
4:01 Jordan’s Background
6:45 A Powerful Commencement Speech
7:55 Showbiz and Self-Doubt
13:52 Validation Never Filled It
17:03 Meeting the Shadow
20:35 Parts Work and Anxiety
23:18 Allowing the Feeling
25:44 Late ADHD Diagnosis
33:08 The Anxiety Gap
35:50 Feelings Are Not Bad
37:25 Reparenting Through Shadow Work
39:21 Men and Emotional Shame
42:17 Shadow Work Fuels Creativity
44:11 It’s Never Too Late
mentioned in episode
Jordan's Commencement Speech: https://www.youtube.com/live/sxC8gYAOKe4?si=142nL-SPqAvoGTGh&t=1913
Permission to Feel: https://a.co/d/0hksoWy5
Stick Up For Yourself: https://a.co/d/0j2lScIn
The Artist's Way: https://a.co/d/07ZzanXe
Driven to Distraction: https://a.co/d/08odLBuE
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
49 min
July 30 You Are Not Your Thoughts: How to Let Anxiety Pass Without Engaging
The Bonnies discuss detached mindfulness as a strategy for anxiety, including how it fits within metacognitive therapy. They explain the idea of shifting from participating in thoughts to observing them, especially when a triggering thought leads to rumination or catastrophizing.
They describe how this approach is used with health anxiety and panic, where people may focus too closely on bodily sensations. They talk about moving attention outward, noticing when the mind is returning to familiar anxiety patterns, and treating those patterns as a brain habit rather than as facts.
BZE also explains a practical exercise for detached mindfulness. The exercise uses a short set of neutral, false, and anxiety-provoking statements, which are read aloud several times before ending with the reminder that thoughts are just thoughts and have no power unless we give them power. The practice is meant to help clients step back from anxious thinking in daily life.
They compare this with other mindfulness approaches, including breath focus, body scans, and sound-based exercises, and note that some methods can be difficult for people with anxiety. They close by emphasizing that the goal is not to eliminate thoughts, but to relate to them more as an observer than as a participant.
HIGHLIGHTS:
1:27 Anxiety as Thought Traps
3:54 Observing Body Fears
7:15 Detached Mindfulness Practice
10:05 Testing Thoughts Out Loud
15:25 Traditional Mindfulness Options
17:11 Body Scan Memories
mentioned in the episode:
Metacognitive Therapy for Anxiety and Depression: https://a.co/d/02NNphWN
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
20 min
July 23 Anxiety Q&A: Real Questions - Evidence-Based Answers
Bonnie and Bonnie talk about comments BZW has received on her social media posts about fear of flying, which drew a large response. People described fears of crashing, being stuck on the plane, turbulence, getting sick, and having panic attacks during flights.
A major part of their conversation focuses on vomiting fears, which they share is a common specific phobia. They discuss how some people fear vomiting because it is disgusting, while others fear getting sick, gagging, or not being able to breathe, and they share exposure-based approaches such as watching vomiting videos, gagging exercises, and gradual food-related exposure.
They also touch on panic attack “kits” and other safety objects such as sour candy, ice packs, Xanax, water bottles, and phones. They explain that these can feel helpful at first, but that treatment often involves reducing safety behaviors so that panic stops feeling dangerous and life is less organized around avoiding it.
Finally, they answer a question about whether GERD or acid reflux can be connected to panic attacks or anxiety. They explain that physical symptoms can trigger anxiety, that the gut-brain connection may play a role, and that treating the physical symptoms can sometimes reduce anxiety, often in coordination with other medical care.
HIGHLIGHTS:
0:07 Flying Fears Online
3:33 Vomiting Phobias
8:18 Panic Kit Debate
12:27 Gut-Brain Anxiety
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
18 min
July 16 What Drains You & What Fuels You: Establishing Better Boundaries for Mental Health
The Bonnies talk about healthy boundaries and why saying yes too quickly can lead to stress, resentment, and over-commitment. They discuss the value of pausing before agreeing to requests, checking whether guilt or obligation is driving our decisions, and thinking through time and energy demands.
Each share examples of setting and missing boundaries, including turning down an unpaid, high-stress therapy role and realizing that staying up late for fireworks was not worth the loss of sleep. They also talk about boundaries with themselves, such as protecting sleep, noticing when plans no longer fit what we need, and treating mistakes as learning opportunities.
They also cover practical ways to make boundary-setting easier, including listing what gives us energy and what drains us, paying attention to body and mood cues, and reviewing commitments with fresh eyes. They also note that this applies across work, friendships, family obligations, and traditions, and that practicing saying no can make it easier over time.
HIGHLIGHTS:
0:48 Healthy Boundaries
4:14 Sleep Boundary Mistakes
10:23 July Fourth Decisions
13:31 Energy Audit Exercise
18:46 Boundary Practice Tips
22:36 Protecting Your Well-Being
24:17 Make a Boundary List
mentioned in episode
Vibrate Higher Daily: https://a.co/d/0iRfappV
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
26 min
July 09 Death Anxiety: How to Cope with the Fear of Dying with Hospice Nurse Penny
Bonnie and Bonnie talk about death and dying through the lens of anxiety, and discuss how direct, clear language can help make the topic less frightening. They also share how avoiding words like “died” can increase fear, especially for children, and why early, honest conversations about death matter.
The two speak with Penny Smith, a recently retired hospice and palliative care nurse, author of *Influencing Death: Reframing Dying for Better Living*, and social media educator known as Hospice Nurse Penny.
Penny shares her personal history, including addiction, jail, and becoming a nurse at 40 and explains that learning about death and working in hospice helped reduce her own death anxiety and gave her a sense of service and purpose.
She describes what dying can look like in hospice, including transitioning, body changes, and deathbed visions. Penny explains that these experiences are often comforting, are not the same as hallucinations, and are part of what she considers normal at the end of life.
They discuss acceptance as a major part of reducing fear of death. Penny says that talking about death, seeing dying as a natural process, and educating families can reduce anxiety and help people focus more on living than on worrying about dying.
HIGHLIGHTS:
3:17 Meet Hospice Nurse Penny
6:04 From Addiction to Hospice
9:54 Talking Death With Kids
14:16 Normalizing the Dying Process
18:27 Deathbed Visions and Acceptance
21:52 Personal Encounters With Death
28:05 What Dying People See
33:29 Hallucinations or Visions?
36:44 The Nun’s Final Insight
40:09 TikTok and the Ripple Effect
connect with Hospice Nurse Penny
website: https://www.hospicenursepenny.com
Influencing Death: https://www.hospicenursepenny.com/book
mentioned in this episode
Book by Bonnie Zucker - Something Very Sad Happened: https://a.co/d/0dkKVH0V
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
46 min
July 02 Travel Anxiety Explained: Expert Tips for Stress-Free Trips
In this episode, BZW and BZE talk about travel anxiety and the different forms it can take. They discuss fear of flying, worry about being far from home, concern about leaving a house unattended, and anxiety about pets, work, or access to medical care while away.
They also talk about how anticipatory anxiety can build before a trip and how it can affect decisions about whether to go, how long to stay, and how far to travel. They suggest identifying the specific root of the fear so it can be addressed directly.
A major theme is using a values-driven approach rather than letting fear make the decision. The Bonnies talk about remembering why we are traveling, such as spending time with family, taking a break, and experiencing new places and cultures.
They also discuss practical coping strategies, including checking in with other people to compare worries, arranging care for pets and the house, and using graded exposure when possible. For fear of flying, they suggest, if possible, starting with shorter flights or, if needed, using a simulated long-flight exercise.
HIGHLIGHTS:
2:11 Why Travel Feels Scary
4:45 Finding The Positive
7:35 Root Causes And Reframes
10:38 Graded Exposure For Flying
14:37 My Travel Scam Story
18:46 Pets And Trip Planning
22:37 Vacation Advice
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
24 min
June 25 LGBTQ+, Mental Health & DBT Skills: Tools for Emotional Well-Being with Dr. Kiki Fehling
Dr. Kiki Fehling (aka DBT Kiki) is back with the Bonnies to discuss dialectical behavior therapy, LGBTQ+ mental health, and how language shapes understanding and treatment. They discuss why DBT has been useful for many different concerns, including anxiety, emotional dysregulation, PTSD, substance use, eating disorders, and depression.
Kiki explains DBT’s main skill areas: emotion regulation, distress tolerance, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. They all agree that DBT breaks complex problems into concrete, structured steps, and how that makes the skills easier to use in daily life and in therapy.
A major focus of the conversation is minority stress and its impact on LGBTQ+ people. They discuss discrimination, anticipated discrimination, and internalized stigma, as well as the importance of affirming language, representation, and feeling understood. Kiki goes on to clarify terms such as queer, cisgender, and related identity language.
The Bonnies ask about the development of Kiki's LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook and her work making evidence-based psychotherapy more accessible. Also discussed is how queer people can use DBT skills like opposite action, coping skills, and community connection to respond to shame, anxiety, and rejection sensitivity.
They close with a discussion of resilience, queer joy, intersectionality, and collective support. Dr. Fehling also mentions practical ways to find resources, including LGBTQ+ community centers, affirming therapists, and independent bookstores.
HIGHLIGHTS:
3:39 DBT Becomes More Accessible
5:33 What DBT Really Teaches
10:34 Why This Book Matters
12:47 Queer Language and Identity
17:46 Understanding Minority Stress
24:54 Bi Visibility and Stigma
29:53 Resilience and Queer Joy
32:59 DBT Skills for Queer Clients
37:16 Finding Safe Resources
connect with DBT Kiki
website: https://www.kikifehling.com
substack: https://howtoqueerjoy.substack.com
The LGBTQ+ Mental Health Workbook: https://www.kikifehling.com/lgbtqworkbook
resources mentioned:
CenterLink: https://www.lgbtqcenters.org
Bookshop: https://bookshop.org
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
45 min
June 18 From Rested to Joyful: Psychological Strategies for a Better Life
In this episode the Bonnies continue their discussion of sleep and what they learned after our previous conversation about CBT-I for insomnia. They review core sleep as including REM and deep sleep, and note that adults are generally still recommended to get seven to nine hours of sleep.
They talk about how people often become anxious about not sleeping well and start catastrophizing about the next day. They each share their own recent experiences of getting too little sleep, including waking early, getting out of bed instead of lying awake, and finding that they could still function and work through the day.
The two then discuss how tiredness can sometimes change our mood and behavior in unexpected ways. BZE describes being more patient with ourselves, lowering our standards a little, and becoming calmer or more reflective when we are exhausted. They also mention that being tired can sometimes reduce anxiety and interrupt hypervigilance.
The episodes wraps up by turning to the idea of joy and a book BZE recently started reading, Joyful Anyway by Kate Bowler. They talk about how difficult things and joy can exist at the same time, and how important it is to notice access to joy in daily life, even when the world feels overwhelming.
HIGHLIGHTS:
0:39 Core Sleep Explained
3:55 Rethinking a Bad Night
8:02 Flow and Self-Compassion
12:24 Finding Joy Anyway
16:30 Lightness After Darkness
mentioned in this episode:
Joyful Anyway by Kate Bowler: https://a.co/d/05ornj2P
Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav: https://a.co/d/0hlFqvLh
CONNECT WITH THE BONNIE ZUCKERS:
Bonnie Zucker Ph.D.(west)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerphd.com
Newsletter sign-up: https://bonnie-zucker-ph-d.kit.com/d44b57fcdf
Books by Bonnie West: https://a.co/d/04aNJFDZ
Bonnie Zucker Psy.D. (east)
website: https://www.bonniezuckerandassociates.com
Books by Bonnie East: https://shorturl.at/MxvRZ
The content of Anxiety Matters Podcast is for informational purposes only and does not constitute mental health or medical advice, nor is it a substitute for professional mental health or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, call emergency services or a local crisis line.
18 min

About Anxiety Matters

From the publisher's feed

What are the odds of two psychologists, both named Bonnie Zucker, and both specializing in anxiety and cognitive-behavioral therapy, finding each other across the country? When they met, their connection was instant and electric.